#yanaphernelia

[yanaphernelia]

I’ll be honest. I don’t know what I am anymore and I don’t think I like whatever this is. It’s hard not having a grasp of something so personal, something totally yours, yet somehow isn’t. I don’t know if I’m articulating this properly, I’m thinking aloud. I feel as if I am disassociated with myself, if that’s even possible. A ghost to myself. Simply hovering, observing.

[yanaphernelia]

Eto na... (Sa Hindi Pag-alala by Munimuni)

[yanaphernelia]

if you ever happen to think of me,

I hope you remember me with love.

[yanaphernelia]

something to rue someday

sweet little dream boy,

are you my escape?

a fantasy, my sanity, never within reach.

beautiful, my darling, just a manic dream,

though perfect on paper, heart’s smudged, stained with ink

[maienne]

I kept you under my thumb for so long thinking I knew what was best for you. Maybe I do. Maybe I don't.

[diyanhell-blog]

Her

I love her. I would go the distance just to be with her. I love her with all my soul and with all my heart. I would do things unimaginable just to make a mark, and prove my love for her. I know in myself that humans have this inevitable limit, where they know in themselves that they need to give up. But when it comes to her, I am no longer human. I do not see myself letting go any of my feelings for her. I made a promise. A promise that I’ll love her no matter what, that this time, I will love her with my all. Unlike my past relationships, She was the only one to captivate my whole being. She was the only one that gave me this constant effect in my life, a positively crushing one. Crushing every bit that is negative in me and changing me into a person better than my previous self. She bounds no limit, she has changed me in ways I would not expect it to reach. We have not yet reached months, but she already taught me lessons that would take years to understand by my immature self. I have fucked things every single day, every single night, ruined every single moment. It just shows how much I am lucky to have a girl that can tolerate my imperfections and stay even with its complications. I was waiting for this, a being in my life that would greatly change me and inspire me to be better. I never expected it to be a lover. I was only waiting for a person that would have a light connection to my being, a friend, but would change me drastically. But even with all that, I’m glad it wasn’t just anyone. I’m thankful for God that it was-

well, her