When you get back to the gym after a year off
And have no idea what to do.
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When you get back to the gym after a year off
And have no idea what to do.
https://www.gymaholic.co
What if I took a gap year next year? I'll be graduating with two degrees. What if after that I take a year off and move to a different country? That sounds nice.
The Year of Sean Comes to an End
The Year of Sean Comes to an End. Time to go out and find a job (boo).
The Year of Seanhas been going on for 364 days but sadly is coming to an end. One more official blissful day of freedom remains before I’m compelled by the Faustian agreement I made to look for a regular job. Of course, as the Houseguest pointed out, there could be a Year of Sean Part II if no one hires me. She’s used to the cutthroat museum world where a thousand applicants fight for one job —…
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19/11
I've been thinking about taking a year off. I've been thinking about it for a while, since mom brought it up in August.
I can't now obviously. But I was thinking to do it maybe between my license and my master. Or maybe next year if my Erasmus application is rejected.
I don't know but I feel like I need a year off if I want to keep going.
I don't really know how I'm feeling to be honest.
“Year Off”- Why I decided to write
Typically, if I were a regular ‘ol student, I would’ve decided to take a post secondary education. Before spring even started, I would’ve known what’s coming in September. Due to mildly aggravating and idiotic circumstances, September was filled with anxiety and self-loathing. I hated knowing that while everyone was moving on to bigger and better things, a higher education, I would be left behind. I mean, it is my fault but, you can’t help but feel a bit jealous when you see your once high school friends, become adults decorating their own rooms and making their own dinners.
The whole point of me documenting my year off is for four reasons.
Give me something to do — From the span of September to June, I will have absolutely nothing to do besides work. I need some sort of brain stimuli, I feel as though my cognitive abilities would disintegrate without some form of academics. Writing is my passion, and that’s what I’ll use to distract myself.
Change the stereotype — As a daughter of very old fashioned parents, it was hard to explain to them that school isn’t the first thing that I wanted to do after graduating high school. They thought that I was just going to stay at home all day and do nothing, while I wait around for the next school year. The “year off” is a concept that I think has become more accepted but there are those other misconceptions. If you decide take a year off you are lazy or indecisive, but other times, it’s the circumstance of the individual.
Take a deep breath — Right when you start your senior year, that big question is thrown at you, “What you you wanna be?” This is a question that I think no one ever has the answer to. It’s hard being 17 and figuring out a life plan. This is the year that I can take my time, and go through things slowly. I just felt so rushed by all the deadlines. This way I can go over my decisions slowly, and not impulsively.
Make money — Post-secondary is very expensive and there was no way that i could afford it with my minimum wage job. There are a lot of things that you have to take into account other than tuition, like transportation, rent, food and textbooks. Sure there are things like OSAP, that are a blessing and curse but, I can’t rely on the government to keep me fed.
I just wanted to document the things that I am doing and the things that I have learned about myself, during my very first year, since infancy, of not being in school.
It is 3am and I am happy. I am happy because this moment marks the disappearance of an abominable pile of ever-growing recyclable cardboard boxes which had occupied a section of my living room for …
This is my first themed post. Please check it out ^.^
eating rice porridge at midnight. coming to terms with the bullshit and pride behind the anger and disappointment in myself when an opportunity arises - i get the good news, and i am furious with myself i couldn’t do better. i’m competing with this line drawing of potential self, this straw-stacked, straw drawn woman i could never intersect with because there’s nothing real about her. and i am real.
i am real and the things i do are real, and i can’t say i don’t know why my life is this/that way or live in a state of self-suspension all the time anymore. it always comes back to that, again and again, just trying to take responsibility for who i am and what i do. i am not poetry and it’s not art to live like i’m on the brink of existence. it borders on and morphs into harm so often i can’t keep doing this. i want to do good. i don’t want to inherently be good, i want to be active in doing good. i want to be active. i want to pursue life and be kind to life.
i’ve been cooking a lot lately. been making my own food, making my body with my hands before i rebuild in my sleep. it’s nice. it’s so solid and purposeful and simple and i like the way it grounds me in my world. i can take these opportunities to take care of myself and take hold of the direction of my life. it is not a matter of pride or idealizations at this junction - it’s just purpose and morals, and i want to do good.