I CAN SEE WHERE LIFE IS HEADED...
Today was a lonely Saturday...
I woke up to a phone call coming from my mother that a very special event that my whole family was going to attend had just recently been cancelled.
Right. GREAT. T_T
The event was scheduled earlier in April, but later got moved to a TBD date due to issues occurring within a specific part of the globe.
Additionally, we had paid a lot of money to have a beautiful dress sewn for the event.
Just for the event TO NOT HAPPEN...
Great.
Additionally, I have noticed that a lot of plans I had for this weekend didn't go according to plan.
For example, one of my special childhood friends was supposed to drive up to where I live this weekend. I was extremely excited to see her, and we had a thrilling phone call discussing all the future ideas we had in store.
However, life had other plans. She, in fact, didn't come.
Additionally, my other friends who are currently in town are way too preoccupied with their own lives to truly hang out.
And additionally? My boyfriend, whom I love and hang out with the most, is out of town for the weekend.
And look, this is not me saying that I don't have my own life, priorities, or tasks.
It's just to show that sometimes what we have in mind doesn't necessarily work out as we imagined.
So as I sat in my room thinking about all of the things that didn't go my way, I came to terms with another uncomfortable epiphany:
"WE'RE ALL MOVING ON."
Life is not stagnant. It is a constantly operating machine that will never stop for your own self-pity.
Think about it this way. Does the river cease to flow for the rocks lying at the bottom of its stream, or does the sun ever fail to set as the moon slowly shifts into the night sky?
No.
All of our lives are moving.
We're all locked into our own ideals of self-growth, enjoyment, and development.
Ever since high school ended, I have witnessed the many new stages and milestones my generation has hit.
Some are getting married.
Some have joined the army.
Some are student-athletes.
Some are on the cusp of cutting-edge research.
Some are starting families.
Some are in college.
Some just don't know what they're doing.
And that is just life.
All the people who have come into my life serve a certain purpose, and then when their role is done, they move along.
Family becomes more distant. Friends become strangers. Close voices become remote, and life shifts into a more innate and closed bubble (well, at least in my own experience).
It's not necessarily a bad thing. It's just the way it is...although it can feel lonely...and it does hurt. A lot.
As I am shifting into the modern adult version that I am becoming, diverging from the youthful spirits of child-like exuberance into the stark reality of physical existence, I need to realize that these mere filler days... the days that don't always go according to plan...are sometimes crafted as lessons to teach me something.
However, I must also remember that as the old leaves, the new has yet to begin.
There are so many more life experiences I have yet to encounter, places I have yet to discover, and people I have yet to meet that will all inevitably change my life.
Like for example, one day, my own special nuclear family.
Or a random person who will become my next close buddy.
I don't know what is to come.
But all I know is that in the end, it will be beautiful, and truthfully, all is working out for my good.
And that is the solitude I can rest with for tonight.
Sincerely,
Yemi A