#yhsiwoo

[yheunjung]

•evasion•

w/ @yhsiwoo

Clutching a portable terrarium in her arms as she approached the four towers of starlight complex, she supposed it had been inevitable. Swallowing hard, she squeezed Sweetie impossibly closer, the duffel bag full of pet supplies and a few pairs of underwear or whatever she’d hastily grabbed for herself to survive the next few days heavy at her side. Normally she’d never try to make her precious baby live in such minimalist conditions, but if they were going to be traveling, there wasn’t much for options.

Another moment in that house was out of the question.

So, there she was striding up to Siwoo’s place like she had completely cleared this with him in advance and was not an (adult) runaway coming to impose. At least her outside looked totally calm and in command while her insides threatened to completely reverse themselves. If she could just hold onto that for the next twenty-four hours everything would be good!

Stepping into the elevator, she punched the number for the penthouse suite in the second tower with a deep sigh, vaguely hoping she had remembered that correctly. Knocking on the door of the wrong apartment to face someone else who was not expecting a rude woman with a snake would truly be the cherry on the top of her night.

As pop music droned around her on the ride to the top, Eunjung’s mind focused back on the past few hours which had led her there. It wasn’t like her father and her hadn’t fought before. Especially since she’d come of age, it felt like they ended up in some kind of tiff every time they talked for more than five minutes. She’d tried to block out most of the things he said, but could distinctly remembered throwing a chair into the pool while making the decision to move out. Packing was just a blur, the most important thing was in her arms, however, and that was all that really mattered.

Three sharp raps at the door and she waited for Siwoo, her heart in her throat. The fellow animal lover, aside from being a dear friend, was largely the person most likely to let them both through his front door and stay awhile. “Hey, I tried to text, but my hands kept shaking, so I gave up. You might be wondering why I’m carrying this. It’s because we’ve run away!” Dropping that bomb, she peeked past him to try and see if she was interrupting anything. “Big fight with Dad, didn’t want to leave my girl alone in that house with a monster. Can we come in?” Though her tone implied a question that she didn’t know the answer to, Eunjung took a step forward anyways. “I didn’t fully consider how heavy she would be on the walk here and I think my arms might fall off soon.”

[yhhyuntae]

if you could turn back time, how far back would you go and what would you do differently?

he ponders for a moment. hyun tae was always a believer of things happening for a reason so, having to turn back time for even a moment would probably mess something up for him in the furture, right?  though, if he was given the chance there were possibilities that could end up in his favor. things such as better lyrics, compositions, and maybe even a chance to re-do his actions that happened in the pass. though, if those things didn’t happen he wouldn’t have met the people or be the person he is today -- not saying he has done anything bad to make him the individual he is now.

if he was to go far back, maybe it would be before debut. maybe when he was in his old company. maybe if he could change how hard he worked or if he could just be in someone elses shoes for a moment when he was considered a trainee in one of the biggest companies in south korea... but would his outcome to where he has gotten be the same if he changed it or would be he only known within the confined spaces of only south korea and not worldwide. those were things he had to consider. it was why he believed that everything happens in life for a reason. as if he was suppose to go through twice the hardship to lead his group. as if he was suppose to be denied debut multiple times to find success. he only shakes his head at the question.

“ i don’t think i would want to go back to change anything major. where i am today, happened because all of those events in my life occured, right? so, if i were to go back and change one small thing that could throw off everything and change where i would be at now. therefore, if i had the option to go back it would probably be something from a few months ago to a year. maybe a change in one of those songs i’ve written?” he gives off a small shrug. “who knows..” 

[yhjiyeon]

     * // ⟨ CONFUSION OVERLOAD ⟩

♡ :「 @yhsiwoo 」 | jiyeon is no stranger to stress. in fact, she’s always left with a sense of apprehension and nervousness when life momentarily slows down for her and she’s left free from the emotional tension. the random speckling of facts she’s learned in her classes tell her that her relationship with this tension is by no means healthy, but she’s one who falls into what is familiar, and for her, constant pressure and overwhelming stress what she’s familiar with. 

and jiyeon knows that her method for dealing with stress is not healthy as well. but once again, she’s someone who falls into what is familiar and the her habit of dealing with her problems by drinking is something she hasn’t been able to shake off. one day this will not be the case, but that day has yet to come, so jiyeon finds herself at a party after a very stressful week, yet again. it was a mere days ago that she told herself not to go to this party, especially because the party undermined all the hard work that she and her family put into the chuseok celebration. but having to deal with the overbearing eyes of her parents and their controlling nature, sue her for needing a reprieve.  

it’s unbearably hot. a mixture of all the bodies that were shoved in the house and the alcohol warming her up; two factors that always lead jiyeon to make bad decisions. like the one she’s making right now, standing on top of the table. pulling her shirt and skirt off and with the grace of day old chick (another analogy that means with no grace at all), flinging it to who knows where. she’ll go searching for those articles of clothing later. all she can focus on is the sweet relief that the breeze has now that it’s brushing against her bare skin. that, and also the overwhelming feeling of wanting to take a swim. 

she’s a mess, and she mumbles to herself as she tries to climb off the table. tomorrow she’ll try to clean up her act. but for tonight, there’s a pool that’s calling her name. 

[yhsujin]

what was the best thing about the time we spent together?

“that you never made me feel like everything was my fault.” even if it was. there’s a brief pause as sujin tries to think, tries to find the right words to say right now. “i like that despite how fucked up i was at that moment, you didn’t walk away or blame me for feeling the way i was. you didn’t... judge me. instead you held me and you listened to me.” even if i always ended up getting mad at you because i didn’t fucking understand why you wanted to help me. “because that’s what i needed the most. i needed someone to listen to me, and you did, always. thank you for putting up with me during those times.” even if i treated you like shit and blamed everything on you. “you made me feel like i was important, even when i was at my worst, and that i didn’t have to be sorry for being such a fucking mess.” i’m sorry you had to deal with all that shit. you didn’t deserve it. “you made me believe in love,” she says, smiling softly at him. but i knew i was not worthy of your love. that’s why i had to let you go, even if you’re the best thing that's ever been mine. “you made me believe that it’s possible for someone to love me, even if it’s just for a while.” even if i tried to ruin us.

[yhhideyo]

what is something that makes you weak?

“how much i care about people, i think.” hideyo is too caring, too trusting, too intense for his own good. “don’t get me wrong, i wouldn’t change the way i am. i don’t want to be the kind of asshole who only cares about himself, but i know that by caring so much about others i open myself to hurt. and i’ve been hurt in the past, a lot, but in the end that taught me important lessons, so i guess it isn’t that bad.” he shrugs.

“and besides, if that makes me weak end i end up being hurt i can always count on my sister to fuck some people up.” hideyo winks, laughing. he doesn’t need to worry about being too weak, not when he has a good support system.

[yhsujin]

downtown baby

@yhsiwoo  (  somewhere around 2017  )

at this point she’s lost count of how many times she’s practiced this dance. it’s not even hard, her coach would say, but she keeps on messing up at the same damn part again and again, as if her body refuses to get it right even if she’s had the moves perfectly memorized in her head by now. sorry, i’ll start over. she would say, breathe, get back into her position. shit, sorry. i’ll get it right this time. and then comes another sorry, and another, and by the time she says it again, her coach finally stops her and gives her that same disappointed look she’s had during their last practice.

what’s wrong with you? oh, how she wishes she knows. you’ve been doing this for weeks, and the monthly evaluation is in two days. do you really wanna fail it again? you came at me and begged me to help you practice, but if this is how you’re gonna behave... you’re just wasting my time, sujin. i know you’re tired, but everyone’s tired. everyone’s working hard. if you feel like you don’t wanna do this anymore, you can just tell the management you want to quit. nobody’s got time to deal with your attitude, so get your shit together and get the damn move right. 

out of all the things she could say, the word sorry falls from her lips again, and for the last time that day. she watches as the coach leaves the room, feels the sting of tears in her eyes as she moves to pack her stuffs. the words cut deep into her heart, but she can’t even blame the coach for what she said. she’s right. lately sujin has been off her game, like she’s losing her focus, like she’s not putting her all in everything that she does. it’s not like she’s not trying, she does, she swears she really does, but nothing just seems to go her way these days. maybe she’s losing her passion, but she’s been through so much for her to quit now. how could she go home just to prove her mother right, that she’s nothing but a failure, even in something that she genuinely enjoys?

lately everything feels so annoying to her, and as soon as she’s met with siwoo upon leaving the company building, she couldn’t help but let out a long, exasperated sigh as her eyes watch him come closer. usually she would be happy to see him, although more often than not their meeting would end up with her yelling at him, but this, this is just not the right time for him to be showing up without any prior notice.

“what are you doing here?” is the first thing she says to him, an unamused look on her face. “if you’re looking for soyeon, she’s already left a long time ago.” maybe she could have at least given him a smile, thanks him for even paying her a visit if that’s why he’s here, but she’s not in the mood to be doing all that at the moment. instead she frowns, looks at him as if he’s not the same man who always makes it easy for her to forget about her issues, as if he’s not the same man that holds her and makes her feel less lonely when they’re together. “i told you not to come see me for a while, didn’t i? the company has been giving me shit for sneaking out at nights, and i really don’t need them to see us here. that’s just... you’re just gonna make things worse for me.”

[jinhoeho]

what is something that scares you yet draws you in at the same time?

honesty hour: accepting!

“oh that’s easy: money. so easy to make, but so easy to lose. and with money comes power, which can be just as terrifying. some people get a little taste of power, and can completely lose who they are. i don’t ever want to be that way. i’m afraid of what power could do to someone like me.”