Discover Top Posts Tagged with #yitzchak

Shet: I never met either of my brothers. The first one killed the other one and then ran away, so

Yitzchak: My brother once assisted my dad in trying to sacrifice me

Yaakov: I had to run away from home because my brother was going to kill me. When we met each other later, he tried to bite me in the neck.

Yosef: My brothers robbed me, threw me into a pit full of poisonous sheratzim, and then sold me into slavery.

The Exile Sibs:

Yitzchak: What’s the first thing you notice when someone comes up to you?

Yishmael: The audacity

Yitzchak: you call it a near death experience?

Yitzchak: I call it a vibe check from God.

Yitzchak: [whispers] Don’t tell my wife I made chicken in the toaster.

Rivkah: [getting off of a camel] What the hell happened?

All Six Firemen: He made chicken in the toaster.

Rivkah: Tell me something about yourself

Yitzchak: I am 40 years old and I am still terrified of secondary locations

The Avot as John Mulaney Quotes

Avraham: I'll keep all of my emotions right here. And then one day, I'll die.

Yitzchak: Hey, you could pour soup in my lap and I'll probably apologize to you.

Yaakov: 'Cause you know how you lie to your parents. So...

Yaakov: I gave Reuven a get better card.

Yitzchak: That’s surprisingly nice of you.

Yaakov: He wasn’t sick. I just thought that he could do better.

*while making wanted posters of Yaakov*

Eisav: Those are his eyes! I haven’t seen him in a while, okay?

Yitzchak: It looks just like him to me!

Eisav: Thank you! I worked really-

Eisav:

Eisav: Why do you feel the need to do that?

#yitzchak