#yk;eval

[yyubrk]

January Eval - Samsung Show / TRC Performance 

after this performance, all she wanted was a nice two day rest from anything performance related. simply because it felt like a lot in a short amount of time, but it didn't mean she hated it. in fact, she very much enjoyed everything. just a small rest and those vacation days she never got to use. if she was as little braver, she might've asked if she could stay in jeju for a bit. it felt like they didn't have enough time to explore.

but there wasn't anything to be done about it. instead she threw everything into giving a good show. not having one problem during rehearsal. and when it came to the real stage. she would show out. as much as she had been allowed anyway. and then it was time for them to take the stage and yubin watched from the side as chanyeol started them off. it wasn't in her interest to become a dj, but she would've loved to be able to work with the other producers. just that.

what was done was done.

instead she had to focus on the performance. as soon as he finished djing, they started to move towards the stage. the first half would be simple movements, but sharp and sexy. it was something she had been able to do with ease. it wasn't until it was the trcg group turn to be in the spotlight that she became a little nervous. it had been a while since she was on stage in front of his many people, and if they did forget about her. they were reminded that she was still apart of trc. but yubin couldn't let it show on her face, instead she used every bit of charisma she had to make an impact when she was in the center.

it wasn't over after that though, all of the trainee's were dancing again. this time it was pure hiphop and yubin was thankful for the months leading up to this. she hadn't realized how far behind she was in this genre but now she was at least passable on stage. and she couldn't complain much, when the stage was coming to an end, she was in the center. making sure the facial lesson's they had paid off. just as the final synth voice spoke, yubin brought her hands together as if she was in prayer and gave a final wink.

now, she wanted to sleep.

[yyubrk]

TRC, MAY EVAL

It had started off as a normal day, she had arrived at the company just a bit earlier it was the perfect time. there would be a few trainee's but for the most it was empty and that was something she enjoyed. the rest of the day had been the same, it was already the end of the month and everything had gone by the same way it had been for a while. they hadn't given them an evaluation for the month and she was honestly fine with it.

Those had been her thoughts until she - and all the others - had been called out of practice and put into little groups. the coaches said nothing until they had made it into another room and the moment she stepped in, it was easy to feel the tension. it wasn't hard to guess why with their coaches and ceo starring at them. it moved quickly after that, their evaluation had been dropped on them like a bomb and they could do nothing but adjust.

a panic set in, in the room. everyone looked at each other and started to think about what they would do it. she had started to scroll through her music to find something. and it hit her just that quickly what she should do. not only did it give her a chance to practice but show her coach she was working on the task he gave her. at least it wasn't her turn yet so she could focus on which part she was going to do in her head.

they ran through a few trainee's before calling out her name. she walked to center stage as she normally did. her bent down a little, and quick steps it was far from her normal air of confidence but it was her now. they hadn't given verbal commands, just a wave of a hand to let her know she could start.

It’s all a lie, I’ve never done that Even though I try so hard I can’t forget these feelings To leave my phone background As an old photo of us It’s a waste of real love

there was no real shock that she had started off rapping. she had to take a few moments to get the melody in her head before she started off. she had picked the perfect rap part too, it let her use her natural rapping voice that was deep in it's self.

It’s so hard, pretending to be alright According to my friends You already found someone new Will you tell me it’s not too late? Please, give me one more chance Where U at my love Where U at my love You know, I can’t go on if it’s not you

but she had wondered if anyone would be shocked by the fact that she did singing too. she was pretty confident in her voice, she wasn't the best singer in the world but she could hold a note. it had been the end of the song but she still had a few seconds left. so, she did the only thing she could do.

Yubin started to whistle the instrumental and did a little of the dance. finally her minute was up and she bowed her head before escaping off stage.

[yyubrk]

April TRC  Eval; Angel.

This time the eval hadn't been all glitz and glamour, it would just be her, the music and her coaches. All in all, she was fine with the eval they had chosen for this month. It wouldn't be hard to pick a song and she knew that she would rap. They had managed to give her a pretty easy task, an emotional rap song and that was it. But she had managed to make it hard for herself.

Browsing her playlist, she didn't find any that really called out to her. Until, she came to Angel. It was a song that had her own CEO on it and it the fact that it was her boss didn't worry her. It was the song's content, a song about a person who had passed. Someone important, someone you loved and thought it was hard to live without.

It still stung to think of Mijoo passing, it stung to think that she was so busy she didn't notice. It had been those thoughts that she tried to push into the back of her mind as she prepared her performance. As requested, she held the mic in her hand and her head faced towards the ground.

The piano notes started and she bobbed her head along.

You are my angel, putting a smile on my face when I’m sad No matter what anyone says, it’s you (you) you melt my heart, I love you (you) Cause you will always be my You are my angel, putting a smile on my face when I’m sad No matter what anyone says, it’s you (you) you melt my heart, I love you (you) Cause you will always be my

It wasn't a surprise to that she sung this part, it would have been easy to just record and she did a few backing vocals, but those words were just as important.

Eight birthdays on leap months, several moments of crisis in my life I walked through my tumultuous life, I start talking to the sky drunk Picking a fight with God, saying harsh things because of my gloomy future Dreams that I secretly trembled for, during my immature days They were just faraway dreams, extravagances for the penniless me Then you came to me, you came to me Just like Taeyang, I’m only looking at you You’re only looking at me

While it wasn't her personal story, it didn't mean that she wasn't able to tell it. She had an angel watching over here and when Mijoo passed, she couldn't help but curse GOD. Why did he have to take one of the good people she had in her life, why did he take her best friend.

Just as she said the final line before the choruse, she looked up towards the ceiling and closed her eyes.

You are my angel, putting a smile on my face when I’m sad No matter what anyone says, it’s you (you) you melt my heart, I love you (you) Cause you will always be my You are my angel, putting a smile on my face when I’m sad No matter what anyone says, it’s you (you) you melt my heart, I love you (you) Cause you will always be my

Now she had made more use of the space around her, pointing to the sky. Each word was filled with love, it couldn't have any other emotions. Pain was layered on top but she tried her best to keep it out of, the last thing she needed was to start crying.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7, fall seven times but get back on my eighth, even on this uphill road I go up but I fall head first, crowds of people that I call friends laugh at me, pointing fingers As I looked at those hotshots, I grinded my teeth, that’s how I lived Even my soul closed its eyes, even my shadow got lazy But then you knew my heart, you embraced me Angel my angel, you make me smile I can do anything for you, I can even build a house My angel, my angel, you make me smile I can do anything for you, I can even build a house

She moved closer to the table they had been sitting at, with each step her word became just a bit more powerful. Yubin even dared to meet their eyes, everyone felt pain when a loved one passed but they didn't know her pain. Never in her life did she think she would have arrange her best friends funeral. And just that thought made her her voice waver a bit, she had done a lot of things she didn't expect to do.

A smile spreads across my face No matter what they say Imma hold you closer A smile spreads across my face No matter what they say Imma hold you closer

Her voice took on a lighter tone, it was all apart of the build up.

Used to be a silly bum I was so tired Struggling and fallen But you put wings on me Used to be a silly bum I was so tired Struggling and fallen But you put wings on me

There was raw pain in her voice, even she was able to speak with a much more forceful tone. Everything that had happened after Mijoo passed was hard, and it could have only been her friend looking over her in heaven that got her through. She knew her faith in GOD wavered from time to time but she also knew that Mijoo was destined for heaven.

God couldn't have had a better angel.

You are my angel, putting a smile on my face when I’m sad No matter what anyone says, it’s you (you) you melt my heart, I love you (you) Cause you will always be my You are my angel, putting a smile on my face when I’m sad No matter what anyone says, it’s you (you) you melt my heart, I love you (you) Cause you will always be my

As it ended, she could feel the tears starting to peak. All her memories of Mijoo passed through her quickly, from the time she met her to the the day she found out she passed. Yubin turned her face towards the ground, just so they wouldn't be able to see even if they could hear it in her voice.

The instrumental came to close just as she finished the last words and she rocked her body until it finally stopped. There were a few seconds where she said nothing until she could compose herself. Once she managed, she bowed once and gave them mic back before she rushed out to find a space she could be completely alone.

[yyubrk]

now they were working on lines for their debut song, it all started to feel a little more real. and she had still been a looked a surprised at their concept. it wasn't that she had really expected and yubin had the feeling everyone would be shocked. either way, she had hopped they'd still like it.

it'd just be a tad shocking.

when the day rolled around for them to say them in front of inyoung, she felt a little more at ease. thankfully, she had been spared from any singing lines, which hadn't been that surprising. she was the group's only rapper. that was another thing that had shocked her. it wasn't uncommon for larger groups to have more than one role, even smaller groups had two now and days. it wasn't bad, just another surprising thing. it felt like since her debut had been confirmed, everything had been a tad surprising.  

but now she had to focus. as the other said their lines and she waited for her turn, yubin couldn't wonder what happened if they didn't like it. she had a nice amount of lines - as nice as you could get for vocal based group - but how much more would they cut her? now there was only one way to find out.

when it was her turn, she did her best. her best to match the over girls as well. some lines overlapped but her lines weren't that hard. they managed to give her parts that fit her voice, she didn't have to strain. that being said, she tried her best to focus on staying stable and finding the feel of it.

if anything needed to be repeated, she did it without hesitation. still slightly nervous to get anything wrong. this felt like a do or die moment. and when it was over, she couldn't help but wonder what had been written down.

[yyubrk]

TRCG: NOV EVAL / ‘Sorry’ 

they hadn't flat out called her horrible.

that was all she could really ask for. for the most part she was doing well, fairly well-rounded. even as a rapper but wasn't until this that she realized her dancing was idol-level dancing. she had her classes but as always, her focus had been keeping up with her other dance skills. now she had to quickly catch up, they expected that much of her. honestly, she knew trc expected more but now improvement had been what they wanted.

she just needed to improve some more.

especially because they gave her a center role back. and she opened the song, so now she had to well under pressure. there were plenty of expectations and she had to meet them. and keep being reminded that she was the oldest trainee. what would it look like if she was at the bottom?

it wouldn't look good at all.

and she knew she would dance for sure, they made a passing comment her singing but they wanted more dancing. last month she tried to show both with a little rapping so maybe now she would focus on just dancing. but still, she wanted her voice to be heard. that meant at least a week of spending some time in the studio. one of the girls and a trc staff member also. someone could could help her with the mixing process ( even though she thought she was pretty good herself. ) so she could at least record the vocals for sorry.

and the rest of the time she threw herself into practice until the day came to film with yumi. everything felt very routine, she'd bow to the girl and maybe they would speak for a bit. but once again she was in front of the camera and they were filming. then her short introduction came and yubin moved to get into her spot.

the song that started to play had been 'sorry' by jusin bieber. you could tell by the instrumental alone but the voice that played had been yubins. that was the perfect choice for her and thankfully the song wasn't to high-pitched but what needed to be fixed had been fixed. and wasn't as if she'd be singing to it while she danced, not this time around.

the music started and she had the biggest grin on her face when she turned around. the main reason she had chose it had been because she would be able to have fun with it. she liked the song for one and it helped that it already had a dance. she had felt it was a step up from her previous song but it wasn't as hard as she could've chosen to go. and for her, that was perfect enough. she knew if she picked something with harder moves, more hitting and precise, her performance wouldn't have shown anymore improvement.

it would only show an attempt.

that had bee her goal the entire time. do her best and only upwards. and with every time she did better, her moves were more confident. in this dance style at least, they had a confidence she hadn't realized she didn't have before. she knew they wanted her to challenge herself. she so threw herself into it and showed off everything she had been working on so far.

this was only month left and then she would know if she would be able to debut or not.

and she'd do whatever they wanted her to do make sure she was apart of the lineup.

[yyubrk]

TRC OCT EVAL; It’s Me - Kahi 

she didn’t know it happened so quickly, they were given their task and now it was already time to record for everyone again. they’d judge her progress once again and either she would expectations or fail. and yubin could proudly say she wasn’t too keen on failing. it did escape her notice for a bit, her center role had been taken away but that didn’t matter. there was always the chance to get it back.

but what did matter was improving on everything they told to improve on. they had expectation and if this had been a while back, she would’ve been a little more worried but what could she do now? it was better to brave. so she sent hours figuring out which song she wanted to do. something that wasn’t like her but still comfortable enough that she beyond confident in performance.

and then after the selection came the practices. from the group dance to her group vocal to the group performance and her own. it was hard work by the time it came time to record, yubin was at the point where she would give it her best.

the music started and yubin was determined to do it. they wanted to see improvement on her singing and her dancing and the rap section. that was just a personal bonus. she didn’t have any backup dancers but yubin made due, still going through the motions as if she had a group with her.

Not knowing me is bad enough But you’re comparing me to a girl like her? You really don’t know me Or what kind of girl I am

thankfully, the song wasn’t too high for her to sing. it suited her voice perfectly. no matter what, she wanted the company to see that she had been serious about improving.

about debuting.

I’m so bad girl I’m so cool girl I’m so sexy sexy sexy girl I’m so bad girl I’m so good girl I’m so sexy sexy sexy girl

the moves weren’t anything hard - and most girl group dances weren’t - but it very different from her normal dance style, hopefully closer to what they wanted for.

Not knowing me is bad enough But you’re comparing me to a girl like her? You really don’t know me Or what kind of girl I am

she sang every note she possibly could and as perfectly as she could. her gaze rarely left the camera. if there was one thing she could count on, it was her confidence when preforming.

Bad girl, but your man don’t see that It’s the golden era for bad girls these days You’re too good for him What a waste, you don’t need that He’s out there dating basic broads When he let you go, I was like thank you Lord I will win and steal you over I’m trying to make you mine, What you waiting for, turn up So trill so pills got me feelin extra high So ill, it’s real, I’m attracted to you Your body is a party that I never wanna leave Cause I’m havin way too much fun He really doesn’t know But I know a thing or two

the most interesting part of the dance had been the small dance break that was covered with a rap. and she did both, putting as much power into the moves while keeping it sexy and smooth. it was also the most challenging part of the song but she took on it with a fierceness in her eyes.

I’m so bad girl I’m so cool girl I’m so sexy sexy sexy girl I’m so bad girl I’m so good girl I’m so sexy sexy sexy girl

the song rolled back into the chorus and she followed it with a grin. there were a few ad-lib in the song but she didn’t try them. her focus had been on singing what she could of the song.

and when it was over, yubin gave the camera a bow and another one was given to yumi. all she could really hope for was for them to see how much work she put into being better than her last

[yyubrk]

June Eval - Black Dress ( Yub Mix ) / Clothes [ yubin / backing vocals ]

when this evaluation came yubin could feel that she was honestly excited about it. she hadn't felt that way about the monthly evaluation in a while. even if she put effort in when she preformed, she couldn't find herself looking forward to it. but this time she found herself wanting to really try for it. she hadn't feel this much muse for an eval since produced a song for it.

her first thought had been to sliver spoon. while she did find herself relating to the lyrics, she couldn't deny that she felt no real relationship other than the fact that it was a damned good song. but it had a heavy rap and she wanted to show that off. it felt like she hadn't really 'rapped' in a while. so that been the plan. she started to focus on finding the lyrics the music changed to a new song. she listened to it has back ground but over a day or two she wanted to change the song.

even if it was about changing for a lover, the feeling of change was something she could relate too. and she found a way to fix the fact that she wanted to rap more too. so now that she stood in front of the coaches and trainee's she was more than ready to show off what she had worked on.

Black black Yeah, can you see me now, huh? Black dress Black

she was alone in this so there weren't many twist and turns with the intro. the first two words came as she looked down, one hand in her pocket and the other on the mic she had. finally lifting her head and walking forward when the music really started.

Take a guess, I don’t even know myself today Maybe it’s ok to go crazy Don’t wanna be dragged around anymore I just want you to feel it Dance with my dress

she had chosen this purely for the message. she didn't have a lover that she wanted to change for but she did love herself to do it. it was easy to put the feeling in voice and her moves. there was more charisma to her at this point, she knew herself that the yubin from the past eval's was different from the one preforming now.

aside from a few evaluations since her scandal, she hadn't actively asked for  feedback for her performances. her coaches probably were a little shocked that she went to them for advice but she tried not to focus on that too much.

I’m in the black dress A black dress for you I’m feeling good today, I like this feeling How about you? U ok? I’m ok Black dress

when the chorus came went out as much as she could with a mic in her hand. the chorus had been sung mostly by herself this time, with small breaks in between to catch her breath. the best part of her dance for her had to be the little dance break. it was short but it left an impact for sure. her expressions were confident with a little sexiness thrown in.

Today, I picked out a black dress I won’t be tainted by anything else inside Color me with your own color Make a masterpiece

then the rap came it was something she did effortlessly. rapping was her main skill and yubin was self-aware enough to that she was good, if not one of the best rappers in trc. and she had wanted to show that so a change had been made to the song to fit that. right after the rap ended, another verse was suppose to come in followed by the pre-chorus but it been cut out in favor of her rap. the instrumental played and she rapped her self-written lyrics.

they followed the theme of change but more so focused on herself instead for the lover the song talked about. she even managed to work in a way to use her lte skills. even if she didn't pick a rap song they'd be able to see that she didn't lose the skills she had been crafting.  

I feel you trembling, I want you I know deep inside, you want me baby Look straight into my eyes, be honest, this is for you

What’re you hesitating for? Put away those thoughts, follow your instincts

the chorus came and went and by now you could see a little sweat. this had been a song made for seven people being preformed by one. the backing track played mostly for the bridge as she danced. it also gave her a chance to catch her breath while preparing her body for the next dance break that was about to come. as soon as her second small rap ended, she went into the dance break.

Black dress

A black dress for you I’m feeling good today (Yeah) I like this feeling How about you? U ok? I’m ok Black dress

she went all out for the last part, somehow managing to sing the chorus as hard as she danced. there had been more to the song but she had felt that it been enough so she edited the audio so it would cut off right after the words black dress finished. the ending pose was held for a while but as she broke out of performance mode yubin bowed her head and went to take her seat to watch the rest of the evaluation.

[yyubrk]

June Eval - Black Dress ( Yub Mix ) / Clothes [ yubin / backing vocals ]

when this evaluation came yubin could feel that she was honestly excited about it. she hadn't felt that way about the monthly evaluation in a while. even if she put effort in when she preformed, she couldn't find herself looking forward to it. but this time she found herself wanting to really try for it. she hadn't feel this much muse for an eval since produced a song for it.

her first thought had been to sliver spoon. while she did find herself relating to the lyrics, she couldn't deny that she felt no real relationship other than the fact that it was a damned good song. but it had a heavy rap and she wanted to show that off. it felt like she hadn't really 'rapped' in a while. so that been the plan. she started to focus on finding the lyrics the music changed to a new song. she listened to it has back ground but over a day or two she wanted to change the song.

even if it was about changing for a lover, the feeling of change was something she could relate too. and she found a way to fix the fact that she wanted to rap more too. so now that she stood in front of the coaches and trainee's she was more than ready to show off what she had worked on. 

Black black Yeah, can you see me now, huh? Black dress Black

she was alone in this so there weren't many twist and turns with the intro. the first two words came as she looked down, one hand in her pocket and the other on the mic she had. finally lifting her head and walking forward when the music really started.

Take a guess, I don’t even know myself today Maybe it’s ok to go crazy Don’t wanna be dragged around anymore I just want you to feel it Dance with my dress

she had chosen this purely for the message. she didn't have a lover that she wanted to change for but she did love herself to do it. it was easy to put the feeling in voice and her moves. there was more charisma to her at this point, she knew herself that the yubin from the past eval's was different from the one preforming now.

aside from a few evaluations since her scandal, she hadn't actively asked for  feedback for her performances. her coaches probably were a little shocked that she went to them for advice but she tried not to focus on that too much.

I’m in the black dress A black dress for you I’m feeling good today, I like this feeling How about you? U ok? I’m ok Black dress

when the chorus came went out as much as she could with a mic in her hand. the chorus had been sung mostly by herself this time, with small breaks in between to catch her breath. the best part of her dance for her had to be the little dance break. it was short but it left an impact for sure. her expressions were confident with a little sexiness thrown in.

Today, I picked out a black dress I won’t be tainted by anything else inside Color me with your own color Make a masterpiece

then the rap came it was something she did effortlessly. rapping was her main skill and yubin was self-aware enough to that she was good, if not one of the best rappers in trc. and she had wanted to show that so a change had been made to the song to fit that. right after the rap ended, another verse was suppose to come in followed by the pre-chours but it been cut out in favor of her rap. the instrumental played and she rapped her self-written lyrics.

they followed the theme of change but more so focused on herself instead for the lover the song talked about. she even managed to work in a way to use her lte skills. even if she didn't pick a rap song they'd be able to see that she didn't lose the skills she had been crafting.  

I feel you trembling, I want you I know deep inside, you want me baby Look straight into my eyes, be honest, this is for you

What’re you hesitating for? Put away those thoughts, follow your instincts

the chorus came and went and by now you could see a little sweat. this had been a song made for seven people being preformed by one. the backing track played mostly for the bridge as she danced. it also gave her a chance to catch her breath while preparing her body for the next dance break that was about to come. as soon as her second small rap ended, she went into the dance break.

Black dress

A black dress for you I’m feeling good today (Yeah) I like this feeling How about you? U ok? I’m ok Black dress

she went all out for the last part, somehow managing to sing the chorus as hard as she danced. there had been more to the song but she had felt that it been enough so she edited the audio so it would cut off right after the words black dress finished. the ending pose was held for a while but as she broke out of performance mode yubin bowed her head and went to take her seat to watch the rest of the evaluation.