she doesn’t mean to be, but any time spent with sohee means her nerves are tight with tension. she hates it, truly. vanessa hates that one of her close friends she has to view with something close to animosity-- even though sohee hasn’t really done anything at all to her. it’s the atmosphere, the situation of a debut project that they’re in. it’s not sohee’s fault. it’s her own-- for making too close of ties knowing things like this were bound to happen.
her motions are tight and awkward as she ties her shoelace. her mouth is pursed as she breathes out through her nose; she hates how stagnant the air is-- how she’s made such an issue out of something she knew was bound to happen. sohee doesn’t deserve that, none of the girls do. she swallows back the tightness in her throat, finishes the tie and stands up straighter. glancing at the other girl, her teeth bite down harshly on her lower lip. in an attempt to busy her hands, she reaches up to adjust her ponytail, fixing strands and tightening it.
“sohee-yah,” she calls out quietly. vanessa winces; even her words sound weird to her ears, awkward. irritation settles in her gut that she wants to quell with medicine. she swallows tightly. “how...how is your group coming with vocals?” she asks, keeping her gaze off the others face; she keeps her gaze down, studying the floor. doesn’t know what will happen if she looks at the other girl-- doesn’t know what will hit first: anger, sadness, pain. “little mix are no joke. they’ve got some tough vocal work there.”
❝ we were distant stars from the beginning,
will you shine together with me in this moment? ❞
— TRC/G october evaluations ✰
⤷ solo performance ― free somebody
in a lot of ways, she considers herself lucky. they did not drag her name to the dust unlike what they did to some of the other girls. joy shivers at the thought of what she had to sit through, hearing hayoon-ssi give feedback in the cruelest of ways and then seeing the faces on the other girls; the girls she had worked with so closely for two months now. she hates seeing some of them look so defeated but this is something where her personal affections have no role to play. so like a diligent, good trainee, she had kept her head down until it was finally her turn to be spoken to.
that was almost a month ago and everything had sped through so quickly since then. she had found herself in more practice rooms and with different songs and choreographies to practice. she works hard a lot but perhaps even more so this time around because someone getting kicked out of the project weighed on her a lot more than what she had expected. somehow, everything feels a lot more real and the nagging thought that she would be taken out of the project too had she not worked hard enough often lingers at the back of her mind. day in and day out, she practices -- leaving just enough time for herself that she wouldn’t feel so trapped in the end.
perhaps one of the many reasons why she’d been practising more than she did last month was because they told her to sing. they didn’t even give her much choice for in her head, it all sounded like, “sing. or sing and dance, we don’t care what you choose to do. the important thing is that you’ll sing.” and so she chose a song where she would sing and dance at the same time.
she wasn’t scared of singing as much she used to for she knew she has improved a lot. over the years she had gotten a lot better, enough that hayoon-ssi even complimented her singing voice. in a lot of ways, it’s a dream come true but she knew that there’s still a lot of polishing that needs to be done if she wants to actually solidify her spot as a stable singer.
free somebody is a definitely a challenging song but she admires how it pushes her both as a dancer and as a singer. as preparation for it, she had learned how to make her way around the more higher notes so that she wouldn’t have to struggle so much. overall, the adjustments she had to make were fair enough that she doesn’t feel as if she would fail so much by the end of her performance.
서로 다른 색에 물들고
다른 향기들로 가득하지만
오감의 끝이 몽환에 젖어
이 모든 감각 일어나는 그 곳에
she starts by looking the camera recording her with eyes that sends a message. it’s as if she’s saying, “look at me, here i am and i’m singing.” she smiles once the choreography starts, feeling a bit free as she tries to enjoy the performance she loves so much. even if she doesn’t admit it a lot, she had grown to enjoy singing -- feels a certain sort of high when she does it along with dancing. the slew of practices must have helped a lot and she’s grateful for that. because now, she can smile and enjoy herself when the worries have passed and she can move and sing confidently unlike how she used to.
‘cause i just wanna free somebody
느낀 대로 말해
tonight 너와 나 이 순간에
자유로운 밤에 ey yeah
i wanna free somebody
the choruses were the parts where she had to hit some high notes. toning this part down to where she can reach it had made it pass effortlessly and she’s left feeling a lot happier now that everything’s going through smoothly. now all that’s left to do is to power through the rest of the performance and with it, highlight all that she’s learned as a trainee for the past three years and more.
by the end of it, there’s more dancing than singing and so she takes comfort in this as she ends her performance as strongly as she possibly could. throughout her performance, she takes notice of how she was able to hold a note, not once wavering even when she’s singing the harder parts. her breath control was stable, enough that she still managed to put in a lot of energy into her dancing despite singing so much. overall, she believes it had been a great performance. she holds this realisation close to her heart for as someone who used to dislike singing before, she had definitely flown above and beyond this now.
The first month has passed, and it’s been less than a week since the first evaluation under the name of TRC/G. All performances were recorded and analyzed by a special team who will decide who will become part of the new generation of TRC artists. The same woman waits in front of the gym, but there’s something different. Unlike the last time, only eight girls follow her out of the room and into the hallways of the TRC building.
They all go inside a different room from the one they used for the project announcement. The difference with this one is that it has a television behind Hayoon, who sits down at the end of the table beside another familiar face, Yumi. In front of her are two different piles of files, one with the contents for their next challenge, and the other with a single file about their first evaluation reviews. The woman tells the trainees to sit down before she leans forward to address them.
“I’m sure you already noticed someone is missing. Hopefully you didn’t pester Yumi too much about it.” Her eyes are playful when she spares her partner a look, but any signs of joy quickly disappear. “Well, when I said not all of you would make it to the end, I meant it. Kim Sojung failed to meet our expectations, so she won’t be continuing alongside us. Please do not share any information shared in this room with her since she’s no longer part of this project. I hope you use this as a good example — this is no trick. As she’s left the project, there won’t be a special chance at the end for her to come back. This is a serious matter and the project is about not only your future, but TRC’s.”
There isn’t much of a pause between the end of her speech and Hayoon picking up a remote from the table to turn on the television. “You didn’t get to see your recordings, but we did. We’ll start by watching the group performances so that we’re all on the same page and then I’ll share with you all of our thoughts on each one of you.” She wheels herself to the left so that she can watch the clips as well and then presses the play button. The videos play in order of vocals, to the dance performance, and then the full cover. Neither Hayoon or Yumi make any comment during or in between them.
“Well, that was that.” Hayoon huffs mockingly and then reaches for the first file in sight. “I think we should start with the saddest case first.” Her eyes stare at Jinsoul and then slide towards Sohee just for the sake of setting up the terror. “The truth is most of you didn’t meet our expectations but, in this case, Siyeon…” The woman finally stares at her real target. In one swift move she opens up the file and her face is of no surprise. She wrote it herself using all the common opinions spoken at her reunion with the small council which includes the one and only Tiger JK.
The file is arranged with each girl’s name written in alphabetical order and then what would need to be commented on right below it. Her eyes go down the page until she reaches Lee Siyeon’s name. It isn’t that hard to find, though — it had the most annotations. “You see, when this project was formed we really thought you were the best singer here but it doesn’t look like that anymore. Surprisingly, Sohee… has been doing better than we thought in that area. You know, you both got in trouble recently and you should be thankful that you are here. Siyeon, if you want a spot in this group you should go for it seriously because we’re not here ignoring mistakes. Not only that, but your dance performance was drastic, to say the least. Sometimes you stole the attention from the center girls because people want to look at the funniest thing and, well, we don’t want people laughing at our girl group. I hope you understand you’re on thin ice right now from every angle. We took away some stronger lines we’d normally give to you for this evaluation and we recommend some dancing focused lessons in your own time immediately. Hopefully, we’ll get to see a better performance from you this month. If not, you won’t be the first one to leave us.”
With a red pen in hand, she scratches off Siyeon’s name from her list, moving onto the next one she wanted to talk about. “Talking about dancing, though, Siyeon took so much of our attention away we almost didn’t pay any to Sejeong, which is just as sad. Of course, you’re not as bad as her, Sejeong. Don’t worry, that’s a hard thing to do, but to think you did well on this evaluation would be a stupid thing to assume. Hopefully you’ve been thinking about better things, like maybe practicing. You have a good voice, but we have a lot of good vocalists in here. I hope you settle on your image by next month and show us what you’re worth because right now you’re not cutting it either.” And just like that, Hayoon crosses out another name.
“Back to Sohee, though, again, your singing is better than we expected. You’ll notice we gave you some better lines this month so we can test your consistency, and see if it wasn’t just one good day for you. You really aren’t as bad of a dancer as some of the other singers here, but you could still use some great amount of improvement. You know the basics, and we know that, but we hope you can get some more techniques under your belt. Since you’re very pretty and eye-catching, the public would be bound to pay attention to you so you should really raise the level of your performance. For that reason, you’ll be getting a bit of a center position during the dance evaluation as well. You have a lot on your back so try to do a good job at it. If not, we’ll know.”
“On the other hand, Doyeon… you’re a good dancer with great techniques, but your singing has been lacking. Not so much on the vocal evaluation, but when you had to both sing and dance at the same time it sounded very lackluster. You’ll see it reflected on the distribution for this month’s full cover. I’m no vocal expert but I did have to not only watch all of your evaluation videos, but also the MGA performances from the new girls. On top of that, I have all the notes from your vocal coaches, as well. We already know you can dance well, Doyeon, so we hope you can show us you can do it while singing also. If you go out for a live performance in a new shiny group and you do crap at it, then the people will curse at you and at us. They’ll have the freedom to spread a video of it forever. It’s not that tough of a thing to do.”
Half of the girls have already been addressed and there’s still a lot more to say. “Let’s continue with the MGA ones then and go to… Somi? You’re the one with the least experience here so we didn’t hold you to too high standards. Still, we expect you to do well. There’s no need to be the best singer in the room because you won’t be but, we need to raise you from the ‘passable’ level you are right now to be at least ‘great’ by the end of the month. You also seem to be decent at both singing and rapping so we’ll be exploring that this month as well. Not only that, but, just like Doyeon, we’ve seen you struggle with singing and dancing at the same time. Your dancing is already at the great level, so try working on that this month. Stamina is of great importance, and if you want to make it anywhere as an idol, you’ll need it.”
“As for Jinsoul… it ends up you’re a vocalist who can also dance in this place, which is something rare. Comparatively, your dancing level isn’t that bad. Still… when it comes to your voice, you still have a long way to go. You have some techniques under your sleeve, but your singing still sounds very raw. We’d rather have a great singer who can’t dance than a singer who can pass on dancing but still sound weird when singing. If you’re going to specialize in something then you should actually be good at that specialty. We have a lot of singers in this room and they’re all better than you. I hope you keep that in mind.”
“Finally… Yubin. You really managed to do well in the different areas. As such a great rapper we don’t expect you to be just as great of a singer, but we’d still like you to improve in that area. As for dancing, we know you’re good on the contemporary area, but you should know by now that something like that won’t be the focus of our new girl group. You should focus on expanding your dance styles this month. You’ve been a trainee for a long time now so don’t waste that.”
“Last but not least, Sooyoung. You’re the best dancer in here and we already know that. You’re certainly better than some so-called dancers who already got to debut. For exactly that reason we were hoping you’d show more than that for your solo performance. Your voice is pretty, but you could still do a lot of work on it. For your solo performance of this month, we’d like for you to sing. Unlike some others here, you don’t have a problem with singing and dancing at the same time, so do with that what you wish.”
Her red pen marks a line through the last name and the file is finally closed. Hayoon who had tried to show a more friendly image on their first meeting didn’t show any struggles about being the bad guy. “As for you all as a group… you still have a lot of work to do. Some of you have just completed your first month as a trainee but that is no excuse to slack. Work together and give us your best image. Your synchronization should be better, as well as your chemistry. Yumi will hand you the information about your next evaluation and any other questions can be asked through your coaches.”
Finally, a smile returns to her lips. The woman stands up and grabs her bag from the chair she was sitting on. “I would say something like ‘see you next month,’ but not even that I can promise you, can I?” Hayoon gives each of them a smile and leaves the room.
OOC: This project evaluation will substitute for the general trainee monthly evaluation so TRC/G won’t take part in that unless otherwise specified. TRC/G are to practice together as a group, as well as show individual growth over time. Not every trainee will make the cut to the final group, so everyone should work hard to show off the best of their skills.
There will be a total of four different performances to be done at the end of the month, by October 31st. Three of those will be group performances, consisting of one vocal performance, one dance performance, and a full cover including both vocals and dance. This time around, the girls were divided into two different vocal groups. The fourth performance will be a solo performance that the trainee will get to choose by themselves to showcase any performance skill they’d like. Following Hayoon’s suggestions and requests is not necessary but recommendable. For this month’s evaluations, the chosen group songs are as seen below:
Vocals 1: They Just Don’t Know You by Little Mix (line distribution)
Vocals 2: Red Planet by Little Mix (line distribution)
Dance: Sriracha by Marteen (center distribution)
Full: Female President by Girl’s Day (line distribution)
The eight girls (Kim Yubin, Park Sooyoung, Ahn Sohee, Lee Siyeon, Kim Sejeong, Jeon Somi, Jung Jinsoul, and Kim Doyeon) will continue their special training to help them better their skills in order to increase their chances of debut.
Kim Yumi will appear unannounced from time to time to record the girls’ progress and then leave. On October 31st, Yumi will return by herself to record all evaluation performances. These will be taken for her superiors (including Hayoon and Tiger JK) who will then discuss the results in secrecy. Feedback and the new evaluation will be given in the following month.
Confidentiality is of extreme importance and sharing information with any other person IC may result in that girl’s exclusion from the project and/or complete contract termination with TRC. It would also leave her with a bad reputation which could make other companies think twice before signing her.
To earn +2 POINTS TO DISTRIBUTE AS YOU WISH and +2 DEBUT POINTS, write a 250+ words solo or a four post thread with another TRC/G member about practicing for the evaluation. For +3 POINTS TO DISTRIBUTE AS YOU WISH, +1WK RELEVANT ACHIEVEMENT and +2 DEBUT POINTS, write a 350+ words solo about your muse’s solo evaluation performance. Unlike regular trainee evaluations, not writing about the group project will give your muse a bad view IC, so please keep that in mind. Please tag all your posts as #trcg:octeval and them up by midnight EST at the end of October 31st.
TRC/G OCTOBER EVALUATION (for the November 7th verification form)
[ link to thread or solo about preparations ]
+2 ___ POINTS
+2 DEBUT POINTS
NEW DEBUT POINTS TOTAL:
[ link to solo performance solo ]
+3 ___ POINTS
+1WK ___ ACHIEVEMENT
+2 DEBUT POINTS
NEW DEBUT POINTS TOTAL:
tugging at her ponytail, she stares down at the distribution-- noting who has what parts, who’s in her group. it’s her, yubin, somi and jinsoul, and she thinks that’s a good team. she thinks any of the girl’s in trc are talented enough to make a good team. she bites down at her lip as she notes which parts are hers and which parts are everyone else’s. there’s a lot of group singing, which she doesn’t truthfully mind; it’s not her best-- harmonization is one of the few things that isn’t one hundred percent something she does best at, but she’s thankful to at least try and get more practice with it.
looking up at the older near her, she hums. “yubin unnie!” she calls out, smiling awkwardly at the other. vanessa still feels a bit emotionall stunted, a little mentally exhausted from the last evaluation and everything with sohee. she’s trying her best to work around it and focus, but it doesn’t change the fact she’s still hurting from it. “i like your parts for red planet,” she says; there’s no real need for her to state it, but she thinks it fits yubin’s voice well. “i’m jealous! i really like this song. are you excited for it?”
The words had echoed in her mind the whole month, how she wasn’t good enough, how she hadn’t been “practicing”. At first, she felt like giving up, the words had taken away her usual confidence that she had always shown. As the month progressed, her sadness turned to something more familiar to her. Determination. With that came some anger and her will to prove them wrong. She wanted more than what they were giving her credit for. She’d show them with hard work and determination that she would be able to handle being a member of this group and that she wasn’t going to be just a good vocalist, that she was going to be a great one.
Song choices were hard to come by to make sure she got a good mixture of showing off what she could do vocally and to show her improvement in dance. Soon though, she found a song that was by a highly respected girl group member who also had an extremely successful solo career. Hyewon from Chi-Chi used to be regarded as someone with a great voice, but not one of the top dancers in her group. When she went solo, though, you could see that she had worked incredibly hard to improve. That’s all Sejeong really wanted, to prove that her confidence wasn’t all bravado, that she could be as good as the persona she sent forth into the world.
TRC/G Evaluation: Kim Sejeong performing Kim Taeyeon Yoon Hyewon’s Why
When the music started for Sejeong’s turn, the music started off slow, mostly just her singing and a guitar strumming. Her head moved with each line, sharp and clean. She had put in her time in the studio over the past month, making sure everything was going to be perfect. She had gone several days without sleep, to the point where she had passed out in the showers and had to be woken up by Sohee. She worked night and day on this performance and while she still wasn’t going to be the best dancer in the group by any means, she certainly put forth a gigantic amount of effort in bettering herself.
Once the music kicked in, she was singing the song with no problem, her working on singing while dancing had paid off well, showing she had good control over being able to do so. Her dancing was much better than it had been when she was pointed out as being horrible at it earlier in the month. She had expected to be told that, just not in such a hurtful way. She was performing to show what she could accomplish if they would just give her a chance to do so.
Her emotions continued to propel her through the dance, hitting her marks with as little error as she could muster. Was she perfect? No, but she was getting better and that, she hoped, would be noticed. She moved gracefully when she needed to, sharply when she had to, and the whole time, she showed the confidence that she wanted. She showed she deserved to be up on that stage just as much as anyone else did.
♕ Month: October 2018
♘ Song: Don’t Touch Me - Ailee
♙ Throwback Stage: FIRST PERFORMANCE ; ACHIEVEMENTS ; POINTS
she hasn’t performed this song since the very beginning. that was over two and a half years ago. it wasn’t her first choice. for a second she was really considering a high note heavy song just to show hayoon (and tiger jk) that her singing capabilities aren’t a fluke. they aren’t just a lucky thing. this was years (over ten) of practise and training that she’s been honing and strengthening. she was a singer. she wanted them to know this.
when she thought about it, sohee figured that maybe an intensive song wasn’t the way to go. she already has a lot of high notes and adlibs in their performances this month. she was showing her capabilities. her solo performance was her chance to show how strong she was on her own. and, when sohee really thought about it, her vocal chords were going to be shot if she took on an even more intensive song for her performance.
don’t touch me was a good song for her to show improvement. now, she’s not expecting hayoon to know the song she auditioned with nor is she expecting tiger jk to remember. but it’s the best indicator that sohee herself would be able to have to know of her own improvement. doing a song she first did two years ago seemed like a great idea. so, sohee set out with it.
this time, sohee was doing the entire song instead of just a minute and thirty second snippet. this meant she was doing the dance (the very calm one that it was, thank god) plus all of the ad libs. which, worked in her favour as they were pretty impressive while not being overwhelming when thinking of all of the songs she was doing this month.
it was a different experience this time around. having to learn the choreography plus the rest of the song was a lot harder than learning the bridge of the song and the chorus. she wished she could dress up like ailee for the performance too but on second thought, she felt like it would have been too much. it’s not like they need to know she still has her expensive clothes from modelling anyways. she simply settled on a nicer outfit for training (a fitted, cropped long sleeve top and oversized sweats that were dressed up with heels for her performance!).
though she will say that it was nicer to sing in lower tones. a song like this required deeper tones -- sohee found it a nice way to showcase her range and that she was capable of doing lower notes as well as high ones. though obviously, sohee’s specialty were high notes. not that she’d be able to be ariana grande in the girl group or anything, but it’d be nice to get some backing vocals that would be similar.
sohee made an effort to edit the audio of the song so at the end when she sang she could focus on the ad libs. it sounded nicer that way then just singing the adlibs anyways with no forefront vocals on the track (to her, anyways). she figures it’ll do her some good during the performance.
when she performs, she does take the liberty of putting more effort in the choreography. not too much, as it would disrupt her singing but a little more than ailee was shown to in her performances. just enough to show that she could make a solo song eye catching. it was also a song that she could have fun to and show that she was charismatic enough to make a stage fun for herself.
she didn’t know it happened so quickly, they were given their task and now it was already time to record for everyone again. they’d judge her progress once again and either she would expectations or fail. and yubin could proudly say she wasn’t too keen on failing. it did escape her notice for a bit, her center role had been taken away but that didn’t matter. there was always the chance to get it back.
but what did matter was improving on everything they told to improve on. they had expectation and if this had been a while back, she would’ve been a little more worried but what could she do now? it was better to brave. so she sent hours figuring out which song she wanted to do. something that wasn’t like her but still comfortable enough that she beyond confident in performance.
and then after the selection came the practices. from the group dance to her group vocal to the group performance and her own. it was hard work by the time it came time to record, yubin was at the point where she would give it her best.
the music started and yubin was determined to do it. they wanted to see improvement on her singing and her dancing and the rap section. that was just a personal bonus. she didn’t have any backup dancers but yubin made due, still going through the motions as if she had a group with her.
Not knowing me is bad enough
But you’re comparing me to a girl like her?
You really don’t know me
Or what kind of girl I am
thankfully, the song wasn’t too high for her to sing. it suited her voice perfectly. no matter what, she wanted the company to see that she had been serious about improving.
about debuting.
I’m so bad girl
I’m so cool girl
I’m so sexy sexy sexy girl
I’m so bad girl
I’m so good girl
I’m so sexy sexy sexy girl
the moves weren’t anything hard - and most girl group dances weren’t - but it very different from her normal dance style, hopefully closer to what they wanted for.
Not knowing me is bad enough
But you’re comparing me to a girl like her?
You really don’t know me
Or what kind of girl I am
she sang every note she possibly could and as perfectly as she could. her gaze rarely left the camera. if there was one thing she could count on, it was her confidence when preforming.
Bad girl, but your man don’t see that
It’s the golden era for bad girls these days
You’re too good for him
What a waste, you don’t need that
He’s out there dating basic broads
When he let you go, I was like thank you Lord
I will win and steal you over
I’m trying to make you mine,
What you waiting for, turn up
So trill so pills got me feelin extra high
So ill, it’s real, I’m attracted to you
Your body is a party that I never wanna leave
Cause I’m havin way too much fun
He really doesn’t know
But I know a thing or two
the most interesting part of the dance had been the small dance break that was covered with a rap. and she did both, putting as much power into the moves while keeping it sexy and smooth. it was also the most challenging part of the song but she took on it with a fierceness in her eyes.
I’m so bad girl
I’m so cool girl
I’m so sexy sexy sexy girl
I’m so bad girl
I’m so good girl
I’m so sexy sexy sexy girl
the song rolled back into the chorus and she followed it with a grin. there were a few ad-lib in the song but she didn’t try them. her focus had been on singing what she could of the song.
and when it was over, yubin gave the camera a bow and another one was given to yumi. all she could really hope for was for them to see how much work she put into being better than her last
it’s endless hours of practice; it’s straining vocal chords until she feels hoarse-- it’s dancing for so long her knees weaken and she’s littered with bruises from falling at the end of it. it’s endless hours of blood, sweat, and tears mixed in with hard work in order to show some ounce of improvement.
the dancing performance is what she feels is the hardest; it’s a tough song, and while she feels as though she’s improved just a tad-- she knows she’s no where near the other girls. it’s embarrassing, it’s motivation to work harder. the red planet group isn’t too bad, and she enjoys her vocal parts in it; female president is, hard. it’s hard knowing vocal lines were taken away from her, but she tries not to point the bitterness at any. she’s already hurt sohee’s feelings with her own dented pride, so she bites her tongue and continues with the lines she’s given.
and then come the solos. and vanessa has worked hard for it. she’s taken into consideration, spent every minute of her time she wasn’t dancing to practice the song.
her tongue swipes across her lips, and she keeps her stare focused forward as the music begins. the feel of the song is entirely vanessa-- her preferred style, her preferred vocals. she feels herself grow at ease with the familiar beat as she nods her head. if there’s anything she’s confident about, it’s performing songs she knows fits her vocal range; and even if she’s tired, exhausted and hurt at the words that were given to her at the beginning of the month, she’s still damn good at taking it and tossing into her vocal emotions.
the yellow sunlight suddenly becomes the clouds,
i put out my hand to send off my heart.
if i clash against the wing and stop--
no, you will protect me.
the change of the beat stirs a fire in her gut. and she feels every part of her tense along with the music, expression intense as she lets her voice loose-- reign into the air with everything she can muster. lets herself bleed into the words.
when i get tired and fall asleep, even in my dreams
i become a bridge of stars in the dark sky,
to go to you, my way
bright and shine, shine, shine
the high notes aren’t as strong as her previous song-- and maybe that’s where she went wrong. she aimed too high, instead of choosing something that fit for her.
the dew on the grass blades, where will it go?
my tears become the ocean, and i try to write it in a letter
if i clash against the waves and stop
will my heart reach you?
she lets her brain wander. lets her head think back to the embarrassment, the humiliation she’s felt; the anger, the sadness and the despair she’s felt. a shuddering breath as she continues, her eyes stinging with tears she refuses to let fall.
when i get tired and fall asleep, even in my dreams
i become a bridge of stars in the dark sky
to go to you, my way
bright and shine, shine, shine
she wonders if this will make it work. if it’s all for naught-- if it hasn’t shown that she’s worked hard enough. doesn’t know what will happen if they think she didn’t meet expectations. but vanessa knows-- she’ll work harder than ever; step by step, moment by moment. she won’t stop until she shines.
-- to go to you, my way.
bright and shine, shine, shine.
