#ymibj

[urmomisabeefjerky]

the sheer dichotomy kills me

Rachel Reid: Oh yeah, in TLG my precious white baby boi, Ilya Rozanov, who is HATED by EVERYONE for NO REASON gets to have his Happily Ever After with a white picket fence house, great career, dog, great friends, and a sex doll husband on his team!!! And ofc I don't hate that Asian guy who is Ilya's partner, I just needed him to look terrible cuz the Closet is so selfish to stay inside of when nothing bad will happen haha. Anyway that Asian guy is so much happier with Ilya, and without his 3 Stanley cup winning team, his C, his pay, his interiority, and he has no mental health because he was lucky enough to have Good Parents UNLIKE MY PRECIOUS BOI ILYA ROZANOVVVVVVV.

The TLG hate tag: Ilya is acting more like what we know about his father than anything else. His actions would make more sense if it was him spiraling into self-destruction instead of just becoming a terrible partner. His internal narration and how his actions are written are completely insane and disconnected. You could put the Boxing Day fight into DARVO checkboxes. Does Rachel Reid understand how to read and write more than one character arc? Does she know Shane Hollander exists as a character and not a fucktoy? She's definitely homophobic, right? Right 🙂‍↕️. She is definitely racist. HR Ilya would destroy TLG Ilya, right? Right 🫡 . Can we even root for Hollanov in TLG without first destroying TLG canon? WE NEED TO GET SHANE HOLLANDER A GUN. We need to create as many TLG rewrites as possible and also scrub our brains of TLG ASAP. The Rage Cannot Be Contained Any Longer.

[urmomisabeefjerky]

i love when i read a beautiful hollanov fic and its based in a city the author obviously hates. like damn author, calling philadelphia "Filthydelphia" is NOT subtle 🤣

[urmomisabeefjerky]

I know I love a good Yuna & Shane Boy Mom enmeshment ramble, but what if we twist that juuuust a bit?

Shane Hollander, forced to come out to his parents (not on his own terms, i mean) after David walks in on him and Ilya. Shane, finally having no reason to hold himself back in front of his parents about his relationship, but still wanting to keep some control of the situation. Shane, deciding that "No Mom, No Dad, you don't need a beat-for-beat playscript of how me and Ilya met." (because there is no amount of panic that could make Shane Hollander tell his parents exact details other than years or some locations). Shane Hollander, who quickly decides in his own stubborn way, to set boundaries with his parents AND enforces the hell out of them.

ENTER:

Ilya Rozanov, constantly missing a mother's presence, since he was twelve and holding Irina Rozanova's cold hand in his own. Ilya, realizing that Shane was so worried about telling his parents he is gay, and with Ilya, NOT because they would hate or hurt him, but because of the immense pressures of his image as a Good Son that Shane's parents often allowed to continue. Ilya Rozanov, not having sufficient defenses in his heart for stopping a mother who is willing to look over his sponserships, his financials (especially not to take anything, but to grow his money!). And now Ilya is allowing a near-unprecedented amount of Yuna Hollander's presence to intertwine with his own.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present - the Yuna & Ilya Boy Mom enmeshment ramble.

Thank you for your time 😊

[urmomisabeefjerky]

every hollanov shower fic i read, they don't use washclothes. guys... where are the washclothes 😭

[urmomisabeefjerky]

guys how do I blow up the entire TLG universe

what the fuck what the actual fuck did they do to my boy shane. why was 80% of his fucking development off-screen. why is he being put through an actual torture nexus. why is no one taking his fear about literally anything seriously?????? why is he being treated like cassandra of troy. what the fuck.

WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY DO TO MY EMPATHETIC BOY ILYA. WHY IS HE BEING MOTHER TERESA TO EVERYONE EXCEPT HIS HUSBAND WTHWTHWTH. WHY IS HE LAUGHING AT SHIT HE SHOULDN'T BE LAUGHING ABOUT.

why is the therapy not addressing the actual fucking issues. why is shane not in therapy atp. why is the romance book making me angry and not happy. why did i read this humiliation ritual bro.

[urmomisabeefjerky]

codependent hollanov this. mutual babbytrapping hollanov that. WHAT ABOUT FUSION AU HOLLANOV HUH?!?!?! who has done THAT!!!

[urmomisabeefjerky]

and what if I said the reason Shane takes it so hard when JJ doubts him compared to when Hayden is being a little bitch about the man he chose is because it attacked his hockey ???? what then.

[urmomisabeefjerky]

sometimes i think about how much of Shane's POV is just baked with dissociation and downsizing how much he actually thinks about certain situations because that's how he survives and keeps going. and it makes me sad.