#yourascope

[yourascope-horoscope]

The Signs As Jazz Artists

Aries: Miles Davis

Taurus: Chet Baker

Cancer: Dave Breubeck

Leo: Wayne Shorter

Virgo: Paul Whiteman

Libra: Nickelback

Scorpio: John Coaltrane

Sagittarius: Bix Beiberbecke

Capricorn: Phelonious Monk

Aquarius: Duke Ellington

Pisces: Chick Corea

[yourascope-horoscope]

The signs as goat pictures

Aries: 

Taurus: 

Gemini:

Cancer: 

Leo:

Virgo:

Libra:

Scorpio:

Sagittarius:

Capricorn:

Aquarius:

Pisces:

[yourascope-horoscope]

The Signs As Things in a Tool Box

Aries: Hammer

Taurus: Mallett

Gemini: Ball peen Hammer

Cancer: Washer

Leo: Tape measure

Virgo: Clamp

Libra: Used electrical tape

Scorpio: Caulking Gun

Sagittarius: Drill Bit

Capricorn: Hack saw

Aquarius: Flat head screwdriver

Pisces: Needlenose pliers.

[yourascope-horoscope]

The signs as taco shells

Soft Shell: Pisces, Cancer, Leo, Sagittarius. Aquarius

Hard Shell: Virgo, Scorpio, Aries, Capricorn, Gemini, Taurus

Soggy Shell: Libra

[yourascope-horoscope]

The Signs As The First Word That Pops Into My Head

Aries: Red

Taurus: Microwave

Gemini: Cricket

Cancer: Squishy

Leo: Manicure

Virgo: Germ Ex

Libra: Dumb

Scorpio: Piercing

Sagittarius: What

Capricorn: Glasses

Aquarius: Night

Pisces: Smol

[yourascope-horoscope]

The Signs When Drunk

Aries: Sits in the back of the room/bar alone, and death stares those who walk by. Very quiet for some reason.

Taurus: Forgets where they are, also forgets who they are with, decides to make friends with the people they were with already.

Gemini: Starts rambling on about the dream they had last night, and the dream they want to have tonight, and why are they not in bed I'm tired.

Cancer: Tells the bartender how much they love them. Is so freaking happy that the bartender is there for them that they start crying tears of joy.

Leo: Is very loud, tries to start a flash mob, and when they realize no one is joining, doesn't give a shit and starts singing AND dancing.

Virgo: Starts to get tired right away, and then all of the sudden wakes up every few moments or so and freaks out about how they forgot to say goodbye to their cat, or that they didn't turn off a bathroom light.

Libra: Challenges their friend to see who can get the most numbers, goes to a blog about pick up lines, and reads them right off the phone to strangers, laughing at every single one.

Scorpio: Is the one libra challenged, but the plan is different, and much more straightforward. Goes up to someone and mutters "ur hottt" trying to be sexy.

Sagittarius: Chugging contest, holds down a shit ton of alcohol somehow, but eventually decides to leave and get a tattoo. Probably naked at some point.

Capricorn: Took off their shoes ages ago, is now looking everywhere for them. Thinks that someone stole them and is hiding them in their shoes.

Aquarius: Trying to highfive everyone in the building. If someone highfives them twice, they will not speak to this person again. Damn cheater.

Pisces: Sees birds outside and wants to touch them. Begins singing like cinderella, and when the birds don't come to them, they sit down, and sulk.

[yourascope-horoscope]

I HAVE 4G DATA!!!

Which means it would be sick rad if you guys wanted to send me asks. for now, how about... Ideal family (send sun, rising, and moon), compatibility (as always), or guess my sign (describe yourself without the obvious ie: I'm adventurous meaning sagittarius, and I will guess yo sign)

[yourascope-horoscope]

The Signs As Elements That Aren't Their Element

Aries: Earth

Taurus: Water

Gemini: Earth

Cancer: Earth

Leo: Water

Virgo: Water

Libra: Fire

Scorpio: Fire

Sagittarius: Air

Capricorn: Air

Aquarius: Fire

Pisces: Air