I just get rid of ants from nowhere how or why. Erm anyway
It actually took a few months to I figured out that I'm aroace due to so many questions to myself back then.
To be honest, I actually thought that I might be bisexual because I found girls pretty when I was 13. But when someone asked me if I had a crush or not, I answered some fictional characters if that's counted. I don't have any crushes on celebrities, K-pop idols, or even an attractive random boy that I saw during high school. Yes, I like them but not romantically feeling.
That's when I realized that I'm not bisexual because I don't have any romantic feelings, both females and males. I'm kinda feel bad because pretending to be a queer person might not a good idea. But also good thing because I didn't tell them, considering I need more time to question myself.
Until I was 16, high school where I decided to look more about Lgbtq flag and more. To research, to ask myself. I might not bisexual but I might be something else. That was until my eyes spot on a certain flag, Asexual. Curiously caught me so I look the meaning of that flag. The more I look more, the more I think like: "Yea, I might be Asexual because I don't like being included in sexual stuffs!" ykwim.
But remember, I was 16 and my self doubt was still there so I brush it away, thinking that I was still young to date someone. Not to mention, how I also find it weird to doesn't feel about romance stuffs. So I stop until I graduated at high school.
Now that I'm 19, an university student. I decided to learn about Asexual again with carefully and no skipping this time. That's when I discovered that Asexuality is a spectrum! Aromatic, Demisexual, grey-sexual (I think?) And much more. I look each of the meaning of those flag to answer my question about myself, well close enough.
But still, the only one that are basically me are just Asexual and aromatic, because I don't like getting in any romantic relationship, my view are different from others, loves to makes adult jokes but hate when being asked if I want to.....yk. I was like are there any other way to include both of these flag?
The answer is Yes! There is another umbrella which I haven't look into yet and you guess it, it's Aroace! You have no idea how much I've been looking for, about my identity, my sexuality, how I view some people around. I have never been happier more than finding my identity.
Have I told anyone about me being aroace? Few actually. (Keep in mind, they're not very well-known like gay, lesbian and bisexual) I told my best friends about it, they're confused at first but they start to understand and respect my identity. As for my mom.....she's confused, got asked many questions, doesn't understand. But she did try asked her co-workers about aroace on the other day. But I know that she actually respect my identity because I noticed that ever since I come out as aroace she stopped asking me about marriage, boyfriend, having a child. Basically she's just like "that's you, right? As long as you're not a bad person, then that's totally fine." So yea, we're on a good terms.
As for others who I didn't tell....I can tell reasons why. According to what my thoughts are...
They're don't understand, thinking that I haven't found a right person yet.
That person is not my best friend yet, still need some development until I'm finally comfortable.
Being disrespectful towards me or telling me that asexuality don't exist.
Overall, I feel more happier than ever. I don't give any single fuck about hate or being negative towards me. That's their fault for being asshole. So yeah....
Anyway happy pride month to all of you! Gay, Bi, trans and all queer person. Don't let those bad people get onto you, you are unique! They're just jealous because you have a confidence and you choose to be yourself, keep going! Be positive!
