#z's thoughts

[elezyyyy]

Dear God, thank You for the ability to fall in love. Dear God, thank You for heartbreak. Dear God, thank You for friends I can laugh my head off with. Thank You for the times we don’t all get along. Thank You for the people who’ve stayed. Thank You for the people who’ve drifted away. Thank You for the nights I fell asleep content. Thank You for the times I fell asleep in tears. Thank You for joy. Thank You for heartache. Thank You God for the ability to learn.

[begrudgedhound]

"Are you happy being a hound?"

This question should be insulting, mocking even and yet when I consider it in earnest, my own answer surprises me. I've seen myself as a beast scorned, but somehow I have come to enjoy this existence. It's not without hardship, its frustrating to be a hound, to be sub-human, but if I did not allow myself to find contentment in my situation, I would be choosing instead to surrender myself to torment. It could be a pointer to my changing psyche, something She has done to me, but it doesn't matter: I hold no resentment over it anyway.

As a hound i face humilliation and find suffering, but i am also granted freedom from myself, freedom from self-restraint. She guides me, expects decorum of me in Her presence, yet does not disparage me for acting as a hound, She took me in knowing violence is in my nature.

I have found catharsis in being a hound, an outlet for rage, blessings and absolution from my Handler. It's all a release. I belong now, to Her and with my cadre, the alienation of life before becomes ever more distant. I was once begrudged by my position, and now I find pleasure in it, I may be unrecognisable to my past self. Maybe I'm more of an animal than ever, brushing against the hand that feeds, convinced that this is how it should be. To borrow the words of my houndmate: "I'm still happy being a hound, cause it suits me"

[calibabii21]

| lunch | billie e.

pairing: billie eilish x fem!reader

genre: suggestive, flirty

warning(s): blatant flirting lmao, sexual tension, profanity...yeah

a/n: if you know me, you know I sorta fancy this woman (obvs not the only one), and I desire to make music with her. & forewarning, this just may be thee most self indulgent thing I've written to date😭 but I'm keeping it tame, I'm keeping it quick, & I'm keeping it cute. (also- this is only slightly proofread)

I've said it all before, but I'll say it again I'm interested in more than just bein' your friend

the chatter surrounding you is barely keeping you present. you had fantasized about this moment– manifested and prayed for it. but it never dawned on you how intense it would actually be.

"Billie, if you don't stop staring at me like that.." you sip down the remainder of your frozen matcha latte as she tilts her head at you, lips slowly curling into her signature smile.

"I'm just looking at you 'cause you're talkin." she lets out an innocent laugh, resting her head on her folded hands. there's a pass of thick silence.

she smiles at your flustered expression, "you are so fun." she licks her lips as her eyes roam your seated figure, "let's do it."

"do what?" you look at her confused and she mocks your expression, "what do you mean 'do what?'- collab, stupid." she chuckles and tosses a fry at you. "the reason for even meeting."

she looks at you with those hazy, icy blue irises and bites her bottom lip, "unless you wanted something else?" God, her tongue. her tattooed skin. the way she dressed. her voice–

why am I suddenly so taken by her? you get caught up in your swarming thoughts.

"you look good with braces." your eyes wander as to not get too sucked into her aura, even when your legs brush one another's as she leans back in her seat staring dead at your face.

"Haha, you're really fuckin cute."

gay panic surges through you as a whimper nearly escapes you, and though you cover it well, your face still shows frustration. "God you are such a fucking tease."

you can't hide your smile as you both stand, gathering your things to exit the restaurant. she slightly lags behind you, and you look over your shoulder to see her not so slyly checking you out.

once in front of your car, you turn to face her, "I assume your eyes got enough?" she bursts into laughter and flips her hat backwards, "damn. guess there was no getting away with that."

she licks her lips once more as she approaches you and opens her arms for a hug. you may not be a hugger, but you damn sure were today.

there's no hesitation as she buries her face into your neck, her hands "accidentally" brushing the curve of your ass. "you smell good as fuck."

you take that opportunity to run your fingers down through her hair, tugging it a bit. a shudder passes through you as you both pull back, your hands slow to leave her waist.

"I connected with you to propose working together, but I got a lot more than that out of it." she guffaws at you with wide eyes, "YOU?? girl the way I don't even want to walk away!" her words make you smile and giggle at one another.

you bite your lip pondering, before working up the courage. "I want..to go on a date. with you....or several haha."

she grins giddily, a light red tint glazing her cheeks. "well, that's the most direct you've been all day." a few chuckles pass between you the two of you as she leans against your car.

"I would love that."

[calibali22]

no one:

me and my mom talking about how cute Booboo Stewart is:

[youreobsessedwithtoomanyfandoms]

not x reader, but oc related (i just haven't finished cleaning up my oc tumblr so im posting here and will repost there but)

currently thinking about how i call re6 leon the sluttist and would be the most fun to have sex with and hold his slutty waist but yet my oc thats with him, tiffany, lowkey can't stand him and thinks about divorcing him around that time-the events of vendetta (but doesn't because she's lowk scared that if she did, then he might actually drink himself to death)

[zzuee]

I am not tired of living ,

I am tired of living like this.

[zummar]

S13

I know I said this before but what I really wanted from s13 was more of Sam, more of his feelings.

Someone hated a tiny bit on this, coz “he’s been crying, mentally ill, beaten, why would you want him to suffer further?”

Well, I don’t, but I wanted to see the real him, I want him to share and become a more stable person. You see, we almost always portrait him as the sensible person, the brother that’s soft and in touch with his feelings, and in some ways, yes, this is who he is. BUT he is also bottling things up.

He is so used to being the one that got his shit together and if he doesn’t his brother is there to save him, but now, now he need to cut the cord between him and his brother (they both need this) Sam needs to stand for his own feelings and I think that we are getting just everything I wished for this season.

I love that Dean is letting go of preforming!Dean that is great. It’s equally as great that Sam is letting go of being the “sheltered” baby brother. He is growing, and I love it.

[lifecankindasuck]

i know this is not a lot compared to some amazing people but like WAHT?!??!!?!?!?!?!!!! why does anyone follow me tbh i'm sorry you follow me