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Because as far as she was concerned, there was no in-between: She wanted ALL or NOTHING, illogically, irrationally, even though something inside of her knew that NOTHING would be too hard, and ALL was impossible.
The Statistical Probability of First Sight, Jennifer E. Smith
Change is easier said than done. But change should be realized, not just thought of then stated.
I've made a few mistakes in my life. Who hasn't? But some more grave than others. Some have consequences that take effect later on and some I still have to live with everyday. But all of them, I learned from.
Who says they have to stay as lessons, though? I've wrote one too many "change" posts and vows to really stand up from my falls and move on. But have I really changed? I have, but is it for the good?
Too many questions, I have yet to find the answer. And as regrets shower upon me or will shower upon me in the future, I have only one person to blame and that is myself.
God has showered me with so many blessings and I decided to stray away from the path He has made for me to tread. Now that I realized that the only way to really induce change into my life is to go back to His words and promises, I'm at a point of realization of all my shortcomings and lapses in judgement.
However, God is a forgiving God. And His son, Jesus Christ, already died for all of our sins. The only thing we need to do is to repent and make change a daily goal, not just a thing to look forward to. We must be the change we want to see, as MJ had said.
And now that some consequences of my past mistakes are inevitable, I must learn to live amongst them and make the best out of what's left. He still loves me unconditionally and if I just follow His will, I know He'll get me through everything. :)
Thank you! :)
MDAs, Campaign, and a Study Sesh with you. :) That's all I need to remember this day by. Because when I'll look back, I'll always remember today. So thank you for making today memorable. :)
"I don't wanna be left in this war tonight Am I alone in this fight? Is anybody out there? Don't wanna be left, left in this world behind. Say you'll run to my side." Because I felt the concern and the sincere sympathy you had for me earlier. :) Thank you, for being a shoulder to cry on and reminding me that it's okay. :) Although I'm going to fail that exam, I know you were there for me the entire time. :) This coming week's about to get tougher and I know I'll make it through if I have enough focus, determination, and self-restraint. But I'll be depending on a lot of people, too. So I pray for their cooperation. I don't wanna break down again like I did earlier.
I live a very tiring life and I complain about it a lot. But atleast I know what I have to do and I do them all (rants and complaints included).
The busy Zee who barely made it to bed last night to catch up on sleep.
Boy, I wish that you could hold me when I'm lonely. When I need someone to talk to, you'll phone me.
Rihanna, We Ride
Today was the day of the super difficult lab exam in 125 and pure CMSC lab headache. Also today I start studying for the exam I'll have in two days. I don't know how I'll fair. :| Wish me luck? :) PS I'm not a fan of rejection because I rarely get it. It's an unusual feeling. #brat
Supposed to.
Was supposed to write about how the day was so suffocating that I hardly had time to breathe and take a break. No, there wasn't any idle time today. :( But, I saw #Mention8PeopleYoureAfraidOfLosing on Twitter so I decided to make my post for today about that instead. :D
1. My mom - She's been the only person I ever had that's really mine. Not to sound selfish or bratty or needy or all of the above, but it's been only my mom and I for the longest time and I don't know how life would be without her defending me and being there for me.
2. My lola and lolo - They're counted as one naman, ah! All because they're my second parent/s. And for all everyone cares, they were really the ones who raised me because my mom had to work and live far from me for a time when I was a kid.
3. My family - In general, they're pretty cool and obviously, they played a big role in how I am now. Most of my foundations are solidly planted where theirs lie, too. And collectively, they're important to me. Any family has flaws represented by every individual but it's how they act together that counts.
4. Triple A - Because they're basically family! They've known me more than half of my life and we've seen each other grow up. Whatever we have now, all of it is greatly platonic and that's the nice thing. What would happen to me if I lost my so-called childhood friends? :( There would never be anyone to threaten me with an embarrassing bata-pa-kasi-ako-niyan picture or story.
5. Block 12 2010 - These are the people who helped me adjust to the UP life and the pressure and stress that came with it. They were my rock and shelter and refuge when times got rough. My first family in UP will always be my favorite family. ♥ No matter how much time we spend away from each other now that some have shifted, transferred and became GC-er than others, know that I'm always a text/call away for everyone. And hello? Blockhead niyo pa din kaya ako. :))
6. Sigma Delta Pi Sorority UP Manila - Half of my second UP family! "Once an EDIT, always an EDIT!" Truly, I've been trained and molded so much by these gorgeous ladies. I now know time management (or atleast I have my own version), priorities-sorting, and basically the nitty-gritty of every simple task I failed to learn my whole life. I've learned more virtues than I did with my GMRC subjects and there's no comparison as to how confident I am now. I am now more cautious of my actions and words. Really, EDIT helped me become a better version of myself. I now have a clear sense of who I need to be, who I want to be, and how to become both at the same time. I learned the magic of balance and the power of focus and determination. And to enumerate every little thing I learned, this would be a whole 'nother post on its own. I'm just very thankful that the residents' the time I became one were few of the best EDITs there are and I received the best training any EDIT could get. ;)
7. Sigma Kappa Pi Fraternity - goes for all chapters! Because my brothers have been there to listen to me when I rant about my EDIT life and accompany me when my sisses all had things to do and I don't. :)) Bottomline: They're like real brothers - protective, gentlemen (*ehem*), dependable and (most of the time) supportive. I can always count on them for a shoulder to lean on, for free food (HAHAHA BEGGAR), for wisdom, for great and sometimes not-so-great advice, for ears to listen to my endless non-sense stories and long, profanities-filled rants, and for patience to tolerate my kakulitan. :))
8. YOU - You may change name, form, appearance, character, personality and being from time-to-time, but you keep me sane. You're the reason I can't, won't, shouldn't and refuse to totally break down. You keep me strong, focused, determined, and inspired. :') No matter who you are, thank you. And please don't leave anytime soon! Make this a permanent thing and let's go from there, shall we? :)
PS I'm supposed to wake up at 4AM and it's already 3:30AM :|
Scream and Shout - Will.I.Am ft. Britney Spears Because "I wanna scream and shout and let it all out." Here comes turbo stress, turbo acads mode, turbo pressure, turbo pagod, turbo everything. As my FB Timeline cover photo says, I have to "stay strong". Good night! 4hrs of sleep. :| Kaya ko bang gumising? :(
