“Jesus H Christ.” Eddie muttered, putting the van in park. “That took entirely too fucking long. God damn snow.” He was finally home, after being gone for the last 14ish hours. Between work, band practice and hellfire he was booked for a solid day. And yes he’d had a great time doing the things he loved. But it was a long day, and the ever worsening snowstorm had made his drive home take so much longer. Made him be away from home longer. All he wanted at this point was to bundle himself in his favorite sweater, curl up in bed and pass out with his body wrapped around his boyfriend. (Sneaking in and not waking Steve up would be the real task.) He just had to make it from the van to inside. “You can do this Munson. Just make a break for it.”
Eddie slammed the van door as he hurried inside, the wind and snow whipping around him. It was so fucking cold. Indiana winters were nothing to joke about. It didn’t help that his leather jacket was not made for this kind of bitter wind. Not that he’d admit that out loud. He still had an image to maintain. (Also that would be giving Steve the win in their little war of Eddie’s clothing choices during the winter.)
The house was silent as he crept in. The hallway lights were on, giving a dull glow around him. (Steve always made sure there were some lights on. Neither of them did well in the dark anymore.) Making his way through the entryway and into the living room was easy. He hung up his keys and jacket, left his boots to put away for tomorrow, and beelined for the couch. He knew exactly where he’d tossed the sweater last night-
Except it wasn’t there…
“What the shit!” Eddie whisper-yelled. He was trying to keep his cool, though his patience was clearly shot. The extra thirty minutes of driving drained the last of it from him. “I left it right fucking here! I know I did!” He was tossing pillows off the couch searching. This was not happening. “No no no. It has to be here. It isn’t laundry day, So it’s not in there. And I know I put it right here. I even looked at it this morning on my way out the door!” The panic of it being gone was starting to set in.
It wasn’t even that the sweater was that warm or even particularly nice looking. But it had belonged to Wayne years ago. Eddie’s first night with his Uncle had been a cold one, not too different from this one in fact. Wayne had wrapped 8 year old Eddie up in that very same sweater. Doing everything to try and cheer his nephew up after the shit events that led them both to that moment. Eddie had stolen it when he and Steve moved in together last month. For comfort. It was important to him. It's always felt a bit like home to him.
Except now it had apparently grown legs and walked away. Because it was gone. Vanished into thin air! Not a trace of where it could possibly-
“Eds?” A sleepy voice from the hallway mumbled. “It’s almost one o’clock. What are you doing?”
Eddie spun around to see Steve. Slightly backlit from the bedroom light behind him. Trying not to yawn while rubbing at his eyes. Wearing his old Hawkins High sweatpants and… Eddie’s sweater.
It had geometric patterns on it. A mix of browns, creams and black colors. Very worn out. It was stretched out in the arms, neck and hung loosely on him. It didn’t fit Steve’s body at all. But something pleasant spread through Eddie’s chest as he saw the love of his life in his sweater. Something warm and good that had him grinning like a mad man.
“Eddie?” Steve asked again. A little more awake now, with a look of confusion across his face. Feet slowly moving towards his boyfriend. “Why are you taking apart the couch?”
“I was looking for something.” His eyes were still glued to Steve’s torso. God how did he end up with a man this adorable. “I’ll put this all back together. I swear.”
“Can it wait till morning? It’s late.” Steve wrapped his arms around Eddie, pressing his face into his shirt. “Besides, I’ve missed you all day.” Eddie’s arms immediately wrapped around Steve. Pulling him closer. Face pressed into Steve’s hair. “Snowstorm had me worried...”
“I missed you too sweetheart.” He murmured, kissing the side of his head. “Sorry I worried you. The drive was a bitch and I had to take the kids home. All I wanted the last two hours was to be in bed with you.”
“Then take me to bed.” Steve mumbled into Eddie’s shoulder. “I’ll help you look for whatever it is tomorrow.” He began slowly tugging Eddie towards their room. Bodies still pressed together.
“Is that my sweater you’re wearing? The same one you pick on me for wearing all the time?” Eddie teased, moving them both into the bedroom. Placing light kisses along Steve’s hairline. “I thought you hated the pattern on it baby.”
Steve pressed his face into Eddie’s neck before sighing. “Couldn’t sleep without something of yours.” His hands gripped Eddie’s shirt a bit tighter as he whispered into his skin. “Made me feel like you were home with me.”
“Oh sweetheart.” Eddie pulled Steve’s face to his. He felt like his heart was about to burst out of his chest. “You’re my home. I’m always with you.”
Eddie’s definition of home was always a bit different then most peoples. At first it was a sweater. Then it was Uncle Wayne’s steady voice and unwavering devotion.
Now it was Steve Harrington and his all encompassing love.
Eddie sighed as Steve cuddled closer. One arm wrapped around Steve’s waist, while the other hand made its way to his hair. Lightly scratching against his scalp. Steve’s face was buried into Eddie’s neck, while his hand traced patterns into scarred skin. Their legs tangled together under the blankets.
This was not how Eddie pictured his night going. He thought that he would oggle Steve’s thighs in those short swim trunks from a safe distance, get picked on by Gareth for his crush, drink a bit too much to drive home, and then pass out in one of the Harrington guest rooms. And while all those things did happen, he didn’t think he’d wake up to Steve in the throws of a night terror. Pleading with him to stay once he managed to snap him out of it.
“Stay.” Steve’s voice sounded raw. “Please stay. Don’t leave me.” And how was Eddie supposed to say no? Steve is seated on the floor in nothing but shorts and Eddie’s battle vest. Hand gripping Eddie’s wallet chain. Staring up at him like Eddie held the Sun in the sky. Like he was the only person who could chase away the monsters that haunted him in the night.
“I’m not going anywhere Steve.” He promised, as he pulled the younger man to bed.
He’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel bad about this. Fuck this isn’t how their first time should have happened. Their first anything for that matter. Steve was clearly in an emotional place. He hadn’t said what this nightmare involved, but it must have been pretty fucking bad. Eddie wasn’t sure Steve even knew where he was when he woke up. And he was starting to feel like he’d taken advantage of the situation. Even though Steve had begged him through tears to make him forget.
It should have ended with Eddie putting Steve to bed. Just staying in the room until the sun came up. He didn’t expect Steve to kiss him once they laid down. Desperate and panicked. Like the only thing that would hold him together was Eddie’s arms wrapped around him. Hands moving down his back, under his shirt. Lips moving so harshly they would surely be kiss bruised soon. It should have ended there. Eddie shouldn’t have let it get any farther. But he can’t tell Steve no. Not to something this serious.
“Steve we shouldn’t-” Eddie was cut off as Steve pulled him in, crashing their lips together again. Hands finding their way under his shirt. This was getting heated. Headed in a direction that they shouldn’t be going, at least not right now. He had to pull away before they went too far and regretted it. “Steve please. Listen to me!” He pushed Steve back gently, hands still holding his biceps. “You’re upset and not thinking clearly-”
“I need you to make me forget.” There was something in Steve’s eyes he couldn’t read. Between the fear and pain, there was something else. “Eddie please. I need you.” His voice broke at the end. Tears finally starting to fall. And God did Eddie want to do everything in his power to stop Steve’s suffering.
“Fuck Sweetheart.” He breathed, pulling Steve back in. “Whatever you need. It’s yours.”
Now Eddie was laying here in the aftermath. Completely unsure of how to feel and process everything that had happened. Because yes, Eddie wanted Steve. He wanted to kiss, and hold and take Steve apart and put him back together till the only words they could utter were each other's names. But he also wanted more than that. He wanted all of Steve. Even the little pieces that were hidden from the world. The parts that only a select few were deemed safe enough to be trusted with. Parts that had started being handed to him, shyly, over the last few months. And he wanted to give pieces of himself to Steve too. Maybe he already started, trusting Steve with secrets that could break him. Had broken him before.
He didn’t want whatever this was between them to fall apart before they even got started.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” Eddie whispered, breaking the silent bubble around them. Steve’s hand flinched, halting his movements briefly, before continuing to trace gnarled skin. “I’m worried. I’ve never seen you that bad. And I wanna be here for you, in any way that I can. But to do that you have to let me in.” He could feel Steve’s shaky breathing on his neck. “We don’t have to talk about it right now, but at some point we will.”
“I know.” Steve mumbled, lips moving to press against the twisted patterns on his throat. His hands slipped under Eddie’s body. Arms wrapping around the older man, pulling him closer until he was almost on top of Eddie. “It’s just… It was a lot. And the dreams have been getting worse over the last few months. I don’t know how much longer I can keep watching everyone die before I completely lose my mind.” Steve’s face was still pressed into his neck hiding, however the broken tone of his voice gave him away. “It’s supposed to be over. But it feels like everytime I close my eyes I’m back in the middle of it.” Eddie tightened his arm around Steve’s waist. If he could meld their bodies into one he would. Take some of the burden. “God I sound so pathetic. What the fuck is wrong with me?” Eddie felt something cold and wet on his neck before he heard Steve swallow hard. That was enough to kick his brain into gear.
“You’re not pathetic and there’s nothing wrong with you.” His voice was steady, even though he felt his fingers shaking as they brushed through Steve’s hair. “You sound like someone who’s been dealing with this for years. You’re traumatized. Hell, we’re all pretty fucked up at this point. We all have nightmares and feel like we’re losing our minds.” His hand slipped from Steve’s hair to the back of his neck. Gently kneading the tense muscles. His other hand stroking the rough skin on Steve’s side. “You’re allowed to not be okay after all of this. You’re allowed to need help Steve. And most importantly, you’re allowed to ask for that help. Anytime you need me. I want to be here for you.”
They laid there for a while in silence. Steve still quietly crying. Eddie still massaging Steve’s neck and sides. Every once in a while kissing the side of Steve’s head. A reminder that he was here and that he wasn’t leaving. It seemed like hours before either of them spoke.
“You called me Sweetheart before.” It was softly spoken and caught Eddie off guard. “You said it a few times actually.” His brain was going into overdrive. He hadn’t meant to let the pet name slip. “I um… I liked it. A lot.” Oh. That was something unexpected.
“Would you like me to keep calling you that?”
“If you don’t mind. It was ah… nice. Really nice.” Steve readjusted himself slightly. Head on Eddie’s shoulder, using him as a pillow. Arms still wrapped around his body. “Can we just stay like this tonight?” It occurred to Eddie what this was. Steve was slowly letting himself be taken care of. He was trusting Eddie. A warmth filled his body as he wrapped his arms tighter.
“I wouldn’t dream of being anywhere else Sweetheart.”
Pairing: Platonic Stobin, kinda mentioned Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson
All important conversations happened on the bathroom floor. At least when the conversations were between Robin and Steve. It was one of the core parts of their friendship. Born out of one of the most fucked up situations they’d ever been through, it was their thing. And that wasn’t changing anytime soon.
After Starcourt, they’d been trying to find their own ways to cope. Admittedly, most of their coping mechanisms were awful on the best of days and completely fucked up on the worst. And they always involved being joined at the hip. Robin couldn’t rest knowing Steve would suffer in silence if she wasn’t there to watch him. Steve couldn’t stand not knowing if Robin was safe. If she was too far from him something could happen. Besides, who else would understand their vivid night terrors of giant needles and falling elevators?
Things had started to get better by February of ‘86. They were still together most of the time. But Steve was dating again and seeing people other than the Party. Robin was sleeping at her own house more than two nights a week. Slowly beginning to talk to the pretty redhead, Vicki, from band. Middle of the night phone calls were reduced in frequency. They were starting to heal. It was great. They were both smiling more.
Then Spring Break happened. Vecna. Eddie was wanted for murder. Max was marked. And so much other bullshit. With everything that went down they fell back into old habits. The first night they weren’t camped at the hospital, Robin crawled into Steve’s bed like it was second nature. She hadn’t cried that much since Starcourt. Neither had Steve. They’d held each other so tight there were bruises left behind. They didn’t sleep much that night, or the following few weeks. In fact they didn’t sleep well again until Max finally woke up and Eddie was released from the hospital. Of course sleep meant seeing the unspeakable horrors in their dreams too.
Which is how they wound up here. On the floor of Steve’s ensuite bathroom after his worst nightmare in over 8 months.
“Steve… You OD over there?” Robin tried to joke. Dark humor was one of their coping skills. Usually it would have Steve chuckling and coming back to reality. Not tonight though. He just sat next to her, head resting on her shoulder. Hands in hers. Shaky breathing. “Okay dark humor isn’t working. Which is completely understandable given the panic attack you’re having.” Rambling it was then. “And I know whatever it was your psyche conjured up must have been horrific. Because you only throw up during migraines and the worst of the worst as far as nightmares are concerned. Which fucking sucks. The fact that our bodies make us react to being that distressed with physical sickness is horrifying. I honestly thought it was just a thing written in books for dramatic effect. I never thought it’d actually happen to me or anyone I care about. But… I need you to come back to me Steve. Whatever you saw wasn’t real. And even if it was real at one point, it isn’t real now. It’s over. We’re safe. So if you could squeeze my hands if you can hear me that would be fantastic-”
“Robbie…” the broken whisper cut her off. Face buried in her shoulder. Slightly tighter gripping of her hands. “I- I can’t-”
“I know Stevie.” She mumbled, squeezing his hands back. “I’m right here. Safe and sound. Everyone is safe. Including you.” He let out another shaky breath. “That’s good. Getting back to a normal breathing pattern is the best thing you can do right now. I’ll walk you through it. Just copy me okay?” They stayed like that for a while. Robin holding his hands to her chest. Getting him to mirror her inhale and exhale. Slowly convincing him to look at her. This was always a process with Steve. He always took a little longer than her to come back to himself. Trapped by his own mind. But Robin didn’t care. She’d stay here for weeks if that’s what it would take.
It seemed like hours before Steve finally sat up on his own. Hands still in Robins. Eyes unfocused. He was on edge. Fighting the urge to run.
“Talk to me Steve.” Robin whispered. “You haven’t been this bad since the start of the year. Not that I have much room to talk here. I’ve been over almost every night for the past five months. But that’s so not the point. Please tell me what happened.”
“Robbie…” Steve’s eyes were locked on their hands. His fingers entwined with hers. “There was so much. I don’t know where to start.” His voice was rough. Sounded like sandpaper had been scraped through his vocal cords over and over again. Sharp and painful.
“Baby steps.” Her thumb rubbing over his knuckles seemed to begin easing the tension out of him. “Just like you tell me. It doesn’t have to be in order. A jumbled mess is fine. Take your time with it.” He took a deep breath before meeting her gaze.
“There was so much blood. I- I can’t remember who it belonged to. Some was mine, maybe?” His hands tightened around hers and his breathing slightly picked up. “It was everywhere. My sides were burning. I couldn’t find Dustin, but I heard the vines dragging you away while you were screaming. Max was begging for help. I couldn’t get to any of you. And Eddie-” Steve cut himself off. Clearly choking down another wave of nausea. “Eddie was dying again and I- I couldn’t…”
“If you need to stop and take a break you can.” Robin hushed him. “We have all night. There’s no rush. All the time in the world.”
“Fuck it’s late, isn’t it?” Steve’s eyes darted to the clock high on the wall. 3:14 a.m. Something shifted in his posture. The tension returned. “You have work at nine and I have to drive you.” He attempted to smile at her, but it wasn’t right. It wasn’t Steve smiling. It was fake. Uncomfortable to witness.
“Don’t worry about any of that.” Robin countered. She didn’t know what was happening. “Focus on yourself.”
“You should get to bed. I’ll be fine.”
“What the fuck? Absolutely not.” Robin stiffened. Something was wrong. She could feel it in every part of her being. “I can ride my bike to work. It’s not that far. You need more sleep than me. Also, and more importantly, I’m not leaving you right now. Steve you threw up so much I’m fairly certain there was blood in that last batch of vomit. Don’t even try to deny it. Your voice sounds like you swallowed glass.” He lowered his gaze to the floor. “Steve, I love you. Platonic with a capital P soulmate. I can feel that something is wrong. There’s something you’re not telling me.” Steve seemed to freeze up at that. She had hit a nerve. “And if it’s that you’re not ready to talk about the nightmare that’s completely fine. We can wait it out a bit longer. Or just go back to bed and talk about it after you’ve rested a bit. I probably sounded so pushy when I asked you to talk to me and I’m so sorry for that. I shouldn’t have pushed you, but I was so worried and I didn’t want you to feel like you have to shove your emotions down anymore. You have a safe space with me to talk. About anything and everything.”
“I kissed Eddie while begging him not to die and he died anyway.” Robin felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. Steve wasn’t looking at her still. He yanked his hands away like he’d been burned. Knees pulled up to his chest with arms wrapped around them. “I’ve had a few dreams about him over the last five months. They all end with holding hands or- or cuddling and I always feel warm and happy after them. I thought it was just something to do with saving him from dying. The fucking trauma bringing us together. But now there’s this too, and Robin I’m fucking terrified.” Everything about both his posture was giving her flashbacks to the bathroom in Starcourt. Except the roles were reversed.
Fuck the roles were reversed.
“Holy shit…” She mumbled, leaning back against the wall. It was all becoming clear to her. Everything over the last five months was slotting into place.
“Yeah.” He breathed out, also resting his head against the wall. “Holy shit.” They sat in silence for a few moments before-
“Eddie’s a great guy. A skilled storyteller, talented musician, and he doesn’t sound anything like a Muppet when he sings.” Steve let out a small laugh while Robin watched him. He still looked like he wanted to cry, but not seconds away from a breakdown anymore. “Though, he does talk about his guitar like it’s his wife. Which I have to admit is a little bit weird.” Steve slightly frowned at her.
“It’s not weird at all.” He defended. “He had to save his money for like over a year to buy her.”
“Steve, he calls it sweetheart. I’m pretty sure he kissed it the other day.”
“She’s one of his most prized possessions!”
“Did you just address the inanimate object as ‘she’ and ‘her’? Has Eddie influenced you this much?” Robin was grinning like a mad man while Steve’s cheeks began to turn red. “Oh my god, you really really like him. This is a big crush.”
“It’s not like that!” Steve objected, then sighed. “Is it like that?” His question was cautious. Like he wasn’t sure he was allowed to call it that. Robin took his hand in hers again. Her grin became more of a gentle smile.
“If it is like that, would that be the worst thing?” She returned to rubbing her thumb over Steve’s knuckles. He stared at her for a long moment before sighing again.
“No. It wouldn’t.” He whispered. “I’m still afraid.”
“That’s okay.” She scooched closer, almost trying to meld their bodies into one. Trying to share the burden with him. “Learning new things about ourselves can be scary.”
“I’m really confused. I like girls. Always have.” Steve looked like he wanted to puke again. “But maybe… Maybe this isn’t completely new?”
“That’s okay too.” She wound their fingers together. Eyes never leaving his. “How about this? We try to get some sleep before I go to work. Once I’m done, we’ll sit down and talk things out. We’ll take as many days, weeks or months until you’re comfortable and have answers. And we’ll take as many breaks as you need.”
“Yeah. That sounds good.” He breathed out. The anxiety finally started leaving his body. “I like that plan.” Robin stood, helping pull Steve to his feet before guiding him back to bed. It wasn’t until they were safe under the covers that Steve spoke again. “You know, as terrifying as all of this is, it’s easier knowing you’re here with me. I’m not going through it alone.” She smiled again, pulling him into a crushing hug. “Just… Thank you. For not giving up on me.”
“We’re stuck together for life Stevie. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Warnings: Child Death and Parent Death (backstory characters); Gore and Blood
Notes: This is based on the joint game I have going with my fiancé. So if you’re questioning who Tanthalas is, it’s his half elf evocation wizard. I didn’t wanna write his character out cause to me it’s weirder if he isn’t there. We also have the mod on to include everyone in our party. We don’t like missing lore moments lol.
Also if you wanna know what our characters look like the link to see them is here! It’s a list of all my Tav’s, plus Tanthalas.
This excursion they were on was actual hell. Zilyur was convinced that she’d died somewhere on their adventure and this was where she was going to rot for all of eternity. Investigating the cavern below the Blighted Village, with spiders that had to be bigger than her. It was too terrible to even be some sick joke of the Gods. There was no way this was in fact her life. The second she made it to the bottom she’d noticed all the webbing covering the walls and ground. It was eerily similar to the memories from her childhood. Almost like she was reliving it.
Tanthalas must have noticed too, because his hand found its way to her shoulder immediately. Grip a bit too tight as he pulled her in close, leaning down to speak more privately.
“You should go back up to the surface.” He whispered as the others got situated. It was clear he was beyond anxious. Tanthalas had been there, seen first hand the same terrible things she had. If anyone knew why this was a problem it was him. “There’s no reason for us all to be down here. I’ll take Shadowheart, Astarion and Lae’zel. The rest of you can go check out the road ahead. We can make up some sort of lie. We’re good at that.”
An easy way out. She could put on a show of not liking creepy crawly things. Play into everyone’s preconceived notions about gnomes and their flare for dramatics. Astarion and Lae’zel would have some smart remarks, but they wouldn’t be with her. Shadowheart would know something was wrong, but would go along with it. Wyll wouldn’t press her for details and Karlach would probably be understanding as always. Gale… Well Gale had a way of seeing through what she tried to hide. That would be a bit harder to deal with. But not impossible.
Except the plan would still be for Tanthalas to be down here. Without her. No way of knowing if he was in over his head. No help if everything went to hell. The idea of that frightened her more than whatever was lurking within this heinous place.
“No. I think I’ll be alright.” There was hope in the statement, but not much truth. Her hand grabbed his and squeezed, distracting him from the clipped tone of her voice. “You being down here with no communication between us won’t be any better. Just… Stay close. Okay?”
“I’ll be glued to your side.” It was a promise. He would follow her to hell and back if needed. Knows she would do the same for him too. “We can do this.”
“Are you two done having your moment?” Astarion scoffed. He’d slipped over to them, also ducking down to Zilyur’s level. “We have more pressing matters than whatever weird thing you both have going on. I’d like to get out of here as soon as possible.”
They both straightened as Tanthalas rolled his eyes. He didn’t care much for the vampire spawn, despite Zilyur’s assurances that he was a good friend.
“Sounds like someone’s jealous. If you want to be part of the sibling club, you just have to ask.” Zilyur teased back, gently elbowing Astarion’s hip. She was good at lying, pretending to be alright. Perks of her particular skill set. “You could even get pointers from Rolan on how to be an overbearing eldest brother.”
“Alright everyone that’s enough. We’re all going to stay close.” Tanthalas began to instruct, cutting off the banter before it could go any farther. He casually pulled Zilyur close again and tossed his other arm around Shadowheart’s shoulder. “Our eight legged friends down here will be much bigger than the garden variety. We have to strike fast. The less aware they are, the better.” There were some hums of agreement, before skittering further in the cave caused them all to go silent. Eyes narrowing toward the darkened corridor.
“With any luck, they’ll keep making that noise.” Gale’s voice was hushed. “We can keep the upper hand as long as we know where they are.” Everyone nodded, before silently making their way forward.
And if Zilyur was flanked by Tanthalas and Astarion as they pushed forward… Well she wasn’t going to complain.
~~~~
The only thing worse than thinking about spiders larger than her was actually seeing spiders larger than her. And to make things worse, the most massive of them all had laid eggs. Meaning there were even more horrific creatures just waiting to be born. Zilyur wanted to throw up. She officially regretted not just being dramatic and going back to the surface when she had the chance. Now she actually had to deal with these terrifying creatures.
Tanthalas, Lae’zel and Gale had come up with a solid plan. Most of the group would draw the fire of the Matriarch spider and the few others crawling about. It was up to her and Astarion to dispose of the eggs before they hatched and became an entirely new problem. Zilyur would take the top level while Astarion would take the lower. After that they would finish off any smaller spiders while the group still focused on the Matriarch. Tanthalas swore that she wouldn’t have to be anywhere near the spiders. It was a great plan. Perfect even.
Until barely 10 seconds into the battle. When the Matriarch, now enraged from being attacked, phased herself onto the very platform Zilyur was destroying eggs on. She didn’t even fully realize what was happening before being bitten. Tanthalas’ voice yelling her name sounded far away as the understanding hit. And then, she was face to face with what haunted her nightmares for the last 17 years.
She faintly registered screaming, both from pain and in fear, only to be covered with venom a moment later. It all happened so fast, Zilyur was positive this was the end. Her body felt like it was on fire inside and out. There was no way Tanthalas would get to her in enough time. Everyone had been positioned so far away. There was no way of surviving this. She was about to meet the same fate as her father and brother.
“ARDĒ!” Gale’s voice cut through the air, booming around the cavern as several rays of fire rained down upon the monstrosity. Zilyur thought her ear drums were about to burst from the shrieks of anguish coming from the Matriarch. It turned quickly to face him only to be greeted with-
“DOLOR!” Wyll’s voice was just as strong as it rang out. Two forceful blasts of energy causing the creature to rock backwards. Not by much, but just enough for Zilyur to shove herself backwards as she took off sprinting towards Gale. She saw his face first, full of fury and terror. He was halfway to her, with Wyll barely a step behind. Both men running as fast as possible in her direction.
“DĒTONŌ!” Tanthalas’s voice roared somewhere to the right as the shattering sound of thunder erupted directly behind her. He wasn’t too far away to be attacking the Matriarch, that much she could tell. “ZILYUR KEEP RUNNING!” For all his bravo, this situation had brought out one of his worst fears. She could hear Lae’zel and Karlach stabbing their way through more spiders, and Shadowheart’s Fire Bolt taking out whatever she could. The sound of other spiders meeting their end echoed in her ears. “ASTARION THOSE EGGS BETTER BE DESTROYED! We can’t handle more of these things!”
She reached the boys just as the Matriarch phased behind them, letting out a shriek as more venom shot in their direction. Gale shoved Zilyur out of the way, taking the worst of the hit. Both he and Wyll cursed as the poison seeped into their clothing. Adrenaline was coursing through her as she moved in front of her friends. Poison burning her feet through her shoes kept her concentration on the present. This needed to end quickly or else none of them were going to make it out of this place. She refused to let the past repeat itself.
Raising her hand Zilyur conjured a frigid knife, hurling it at the monster in front of them. Ice shards stabbed into it, before exploding all around.
“IGNIS!” Gale’s shout was ringing in her head as fire soared past her. She felt him grab her waist as she was yanked out of the acid puddle. ‘I’ve got you.’ His voice floated through the tadpole, reassurance washing over her. Her fingers dug into his arms, holding on to stay grounded.
“DOLOR!” Wyll sprung forward, attacking again. Another two Eldritch Blasts rocking the monsters body off kilter. Shadowheart’s spiritual weapon had appeared next to it at some point during all the chaos. It slashed into the head of the beast, drawing its attention.
“INCOMING!” Karlach shouted as she slammed her great axe down on the torso. It barely had the time to react before she slammed into it a second time, joined by Lae’zel’s own greatsword. It was only then that the creature finally hit the ground and ceased movement.
“The mother is down!” Wyll called out. Tanthalas and Shadowheart were finishing off the last of the spiders. Astarion, who had finally made it back on top of the cliff, was surveying the damage done to his companions. His eyes landed on his fellow rogue and he began quickly making his way towards her. Everything had become eerily silent around them all.
“Zilyur. Hey. Come back to me.” Gale’s face appeared in her vision. His hands held the sides of her face while turning her away from the dead monstrosity. Keeping her out of focus gaze on him. When had she let go of his arm? Wasn’t he just holding her? “The fight is over and it’s dead. You’re safe. I need you to breathe with me okay?” She hadn’t even noticed how shallow her breathing had become. Her whole body felt like it was shaking uncontrollably, while her mind floated in and out of understanding. Logically she knew she was an adult, not a child anymore. This wasn’t the same spider that claimed her father and brothers lives. But the adrenaline and shock were overriding any rational thoughts. Everything around her looked the same right now as it did back then. “Try and focus on me. Wherever your mind runs to, you are not there.” She grabbed his forearms while squeezing her eyes shut.
“I need to get out of here.” She mumbled. “Can we leave? Please.”
“Zilly!” Tanthalas’s voice was sharp, filled with panic as he interrupted. Gale was shoved to the side as he dragged her into a bone crushing hug. “I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I should have been closer.” She tried to force her mind into the present. To pay attention to the here and now. “I’ve got you. I’m right here.”
“Tanis…” She whispered, hugging him back. “I-I made a mistake. I should have-”
“Shhhh.” He murmured, trying to put an end to her racing mind. “You’re alright. We’re all alive.” The anxiety was rolling off of him in what felt like waves. Neither of them were okay right now.
“Tanthalas you’re going to cause her to pass out. Give her a moment to sort out her mind.” Shadowheart’s voice was firm, but soft. The familiar feeling of her healing magic washed over Zilyur like a blanket, helping her to pay attention to where she really was. “How about the rest of us take a look around. I’m sure those creatures were hiding something of value in the area.” It was only then she realized Shadowheart was gently prying Tanthalas off of her. Giving her some space. “Lae’zel, Astarion, you and I can search around. It would be best for the others to take Zilyur back to camp. She’s covered in venom and needs to rest after all this.”
“Anywhere she goes I go.” Tanthalas snapped back. He was agitated. Body tensed and positioned like he was ready to fight again. “I know how to deal with this best.” Everyone seemed taken aback. He never got angry like this.
From there, Zilyur didn’t really pay attention to what the others were bickering about. Something about how Tanthalas didn’t want to leave her, Shadowheart insisting she would be fine as long as she got out of here now and Lae’zel thinking this was pointless behavior. It was all starting to blur in her mind. She didn’t want to be here anymore, the energy it was taking to be present was all but gone.
“Hey.” Gale whispered. He was back to her level, his hand carefully wrapped around her own. It pulled her back to the current moment. “Are you okay with me taking you back to camp? I think it would be beneficial to us all to get some real rest. And you don’t seem like yourself still. It’s highly concerning.” She wanted to reply to him. Give one of her witty responses. Smooth away the unease etched into his features. Instead she took a shaky breath while nodding, hoping that he’d just understand.
Gale stood slowly, still gripping her hand in his, and turned to catch Wyll’s gaze. They seemed to share an understanding about something. Before Zilyur could wonder further about whatever wordless conversation the two were having, Gale was gently pulling her away from the group. Karlach followed closely behind them as Wyll began trying to reason with the arguing parties. Drawing the attention towards himself. Astarion was waiting on another ledge, motioning for them to follow him. It seemed he’d found a back way out of the cave. One that didn’t take them near the dead creatures.
They must have been halfway to camp by the time Tanthalas realized they were gone. Far enough out that none of them heard the fallout.
~~~~
After bathing and putting on her camp clothes Zilyur started to feel more like a person. Not completely herself, but getting out of that nightmare pit was a step in the right direction. Karlach tried heating the water around her while she washed, greatly helping relax her strained muscles. Listening to Astarion and Gale’s verbal banter while they cooked dinner brought a sense of normalcy that was sorely needed. Not that anything they were dealing with counted as normal, however she’d take what she could get. Hearing things go on as they had was settling to her frazzled mind.
Tanthalas eventually returned to camp with the others. It was clear he was irritated with how she slipped away but made no comment on it. Aside from giving her a hug and kissing the top of her head, he tried to keep to himself for the remainder of the evening. Though she noticed him glaring at Gale more than once as the night carried on. Shadowheart, who seemed to notice as well, would whisper in his ear anytime he seemed too in his own head. For that she was glad. He needed someone besides her to talk to, especially after how everything went to shit today.
She’d sat at the edge of camp initially, closer to the water than any of her group. Withers seemed to sense that something was off and gave her space. Making his way towards Halsin’s tent to speak about whatever he deemed important at that time. It was a much needed break for her first few hours back. Yet now it left her more lonely than anything else. The events of the day were on repeat in her head, along with memories of her brother and father. The images were jumbling together, tumbling into a headache.
“You’ve barely eaten.” Gale commented while taking a seat next to her. The smile he wore didn’t quite meet his eyes, although nothing about it was uncomfortable. “If I didn’t know any better, I would be nervous my cooking skills were lacking.” Zilyur found herself smiling for the first time in hours. Nothing remarkable, but just something small between the two of them.
“Who’s to say it isn’t your cooking?” She lightly teased back. It was hard to describe, but she didn’t feel as on edge with him close. A most welcomed distraction from the chaos. “Maybe I’ve been faking enjoyment of it the whole time and I’m finally being truthful.”
“You wound me.” He chuckled, placing a hand on his chest. Feigning hurt at her words. “I’ll remember that the next time you ask me to make you potato soup.”
“Now there’s no reason to make threats. We can work this out.” He grinned as she stifled a laugh.
Comfortable silence fell over them while watching the others move around and get settled. The sun had already set, and it was clear they all wanted to put the day behind them. Wyll, Astarion and Lae’zel were going over how they would split the watch tonight while Karlach and Halsin played fetch with Scratch and the Owl Bear cub. Withers read an old tome none of them were too sure of where he procured it from. Talanthas and Shaowheart were having a deep conversation, though Zilyur kept feeling his eyes on her every so often. Eventually Shadowheart led him into her tent, presumably to turn in for the evening.
“How are you holding up?” Gale broke the quiet bubble around them while rotating to watch her. Without thinking she leaned in, turning her body in his direction.
“Well… I’m hanging in there.” She let her eyes drift over to Scratch as he chased his ball. It was hard to discuss this without breaking down. “Just trying to feel halfway normal. You know how that goes.”
“I don’t expect you to give me specifics about what happened today.” His gaze was locked onto her. “I understand having aspects of your past that you would rather not revisit. Let alone relive.” Her eyes dropped down to his hands, unsure of how she would handle this. “It’s just… I don’t know how to describe this other than I’m worried. Insurmountably so. I know part of your approach in battle is hiding and attacking from the shadows. Nevertheless, when faced with enemies head on you’ve never faltered. Watching you in the throws of a fight is awe inspiring. I find it hard to pay attention to much else when you’re in that element.” His hand lifted to her cheek, only briefly hesitating before his thumb softly traced the scar she bore. “Hearing you screaming in terror while that monstrosity stood over you was absolutely-” He cut himself off, eyes closing briefly while taking a deep breath. “It was horrifying to be there and feel so helpless. I barely registered casting Misty Step to get to you.” Zilyur leaned into his touch. Even as stressful as this conversation was, the connection was grounding. It kept her from wanting to run. “Not knowing what caused your reaction this afternoon is eating away at me. I want to be here for you, in whatever way you’d allow. If that means sitting with you all night and making bad jokes while we avoid the issue at hand, so be it. But if you are comfortable enough, you can trust me. However you need me, I am here.”
“Gale…” She murmured, finally looking at him. Her hand found its way to his for support. The way he watched her spoke volumes about all the things that were currently unsaid. They’d been dancing around each other for a while now. Even before he’d helped her channel the Weave. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell you. I just don’t know how to talk about this. To anyone.” Admitting it out loud felt like accepting defeat. Zilyur wanted to tell him everything. About her father and brother, how Tanthalas had found her, saved her, how she doesn’t remember anything from before that. It was difficult to speak about her past. Her voice always seemed to fail her. “Words come so easy to you. I’m envious of it, honestly. There’s so much involved, and I don’t know where to start. It might…” She sighed before continuing on. “Can I show you? I lack the words to describe it, but I can’t get the memories out of my head.”
He shifted himself closer, so their foreheads were almost touching. Wordlessly giving her permission.
The tadpoles squirmed strangely. And then Gale was in a dark cave, lower to the ground than usual. Webbing covering the walls, ceiling and floors. He crawled out from between some rocks, trying to stay quiet as he looked around. There was a figure on the ground, familiar curly black hair atop his head. Young gnome, couldn’t be more than eight or so. His chest ripped open, parts of his organs pulled out, blood all around him, legs wrapped tightly with webbing, lifeless black eyes staring upwards. A feeling of terror mixed with the overwhelming urge to be sick took over.
“Wilver…” The choked sob of a child came out of the body he was in. “Wilver no. Wake up!” Small hands grabbed Wilver's shoulder, shaking his body. “Not you too! You said we’d get out!” The fear and loneliness were almost crushing his chest. Panic was rising like bile in his throat. “I don’t know how to find my way out! You have to wake up! You can’t leave me! You promised!” Memories flooded into his mind of hours before, a man with similar hair being dragged away into the shadows. His screams bounced off the walls and reverberated around the cave. Then he was being yanked back by Wilver, who is barely bigger than the body he’s in now. A hand clamped over his mouth, as they tried hiding. Skittering from the ceiling and walls much too close. Eyes wide as long thin legs stalked past them over and over again.
The sound of movement from behind caught him off guard. Whipping his head around, he was greeted with a heinous sight. An abnormally large spider creature stalked down from the wall. All eyes were all locked onto him. Fangs dripping with some disgusting liquid. He was frozen in place. This was the same spider that killed his father and brother. And now it was going to kill him too. No one could hear him scream for help, they were too far underground.
The monster shrieked, lunging for him. He tossed his hands in front of his face, knowing it would do nothing to save him. This was his fate. To die.
“ARDĒ!” The shout was familiar. Not to the body he was in now, but he knew that voice. It wasn’t as strong as usual, yet there was no mistake in his mind.
The smell of burning filled his nostrils. The creature was now screaming in agony. His eyes snapped open to see a now blazing fire devouring everything in front of him. The webs were lighting up fast, over half the cave already burning. Not even a second later he was being grabbed and slung over a shoulder. They were running full speed in an entirely new direction.
“Keep your eyes closed!” Tanthalas instructed as he sprinted down a corridor, holding onto him for dear life. His voice was full of fear, but also determination. “Don’t make a sound until I say so!” So he listened. Squeezing his eyes shut and hands clamped over his mouth. He could hear more spiders in the distance, but they faded away.
The sound drifted back into the peace of the night. He could hear their camp mates again, the river on the other side of them. Scratch and their Owl Bear cub wrestling. Popping of fresh wood in the fire.
Zilyur sat quietly, her eyes refusing to meet Gale’s once again. She’d never told anyone about this. And now the man in front of her had witnessed the worst part of her past. The silence that followed felt deafening. In spite of that their foreheads were still almost touching, his hand was still on her face. He hadn’t moved away in the slightest.
“Tanis told me to go back to the surface.” She whispered. “Said we could even make up a lie so no one would figure out what the real issue was. A great plan that I didn’t listen to because it meant he’d be down there alone. It sounds so ridiculous now. He wasn’t going to be alone. But I wouldn’t have known if he needed help. What if he got hurt? Or worse? I couldn’t stand the idea of-”
“Not being able to save him.” Gale cut in. “You couldn’t bear the possibility of losing Tanthalas too.” It was silent for a split second, as everything else felt like it disappeared. Zilyur didn’t even register her own movements at first, grabbing his shirt while shoving her face into his chest. Tears soaking into purple velveteen, as a strong arm wound around her waist. “I hate that you had to go through any of this. Yet I regret even more that I couldn’t protect you from your own mind.” His hand brushed carefully through her hair, as his words blanketed her mind. “I understand why you didn’t tell me. There is no way to describe what you lived through. It was cruel of the Gods to make you suffer this way.” Zilyur gripped his shirt tighter before turning her face more towards his neck. She could smell his cologne, a mix of oak, lavender, paper and ink. Uniquely him and soothing to her. In any other circumstance she’d want to hide while crying, only the self-consciousness never emerged. Gale wouldn’t judge her even if he saw her tear stained skin. For now she could just let herself feel.
“I’ve stained your shirt.” By the time she finally spoke again her throat felt cracked and dry. “Sorry…”
“No apologies necessary.” He declared patiently, chin resting on her head. “I meant it when I said I’m here for you however you need. Crying on me included.”
“Can I stay with you tonight?” Even with his reassurance, the question was important. Innocent as her intentions are, there were lines that Gale would not risk crossing. “Tanis is going through something of his own. I can tell this experience isn’t easy for him either. He needs to focus on himself right now and I need someone with me that I can trust.”
“I’m honored to have your trust.” Zilyur could feel the words being uttered, vibrating against her cheek. “Nothing would bring me more peace of mind than to remain by your side.” He stood, lightly tugging her with him. His hand remained on her back as they made the short walk to his tent. Eyes following them stirred something very close to anxiety within her. Pity and questions were the last things she wanted from anyone in this group.
“We were being watched.” He ushered her inside while she voiced her stress. “Gods I hope they didn’t see that breakdown. I don’t want to hear anyones commentary. Especially Lae’zel.”
“I will personally lecture all of them on the importance of minding their own business, should the need arise. You won’t have to worry about anything. ” Gale assured as he made his way over to a rather large chest off to the side. “Although, I’m fairly certain I overheard Karlach mildly threatening everyone to keep their opinions to themselves.” The thought of that caused her to smirk. Karlach was always looking out for her. “I have a spare bedroll somewhere in here. Never hurts to be prepared.” He continued to rummage around the chest as Zilyur stayed next to the entrance of the tent. She hadn’t had the chance to really look around before. There were several books stacked on the ground, a few scrolls tossed around, and some papers with spell ideas scribbled out. The lanterns that hung in all corners shone a muted purple, and he had a few rugs of various colors laid out to make the rocks underneath more bearable. Even his bedroll had a few extra pillows and blankets around it. Everything was all very Gale. “I’ll use the spare and put it over to the side so you have as much space as you need. I don’t move a lot in my sleep anyways.” He stood holding the bedroll, slight blush on his face as he stared at her.
“You don’t have to do that.” She mumbled, her face also turning the slightest bit pink. “This is your space after all.”
“I appreciate your concern for me, but I can assure you I will be fine.” He cleared his throat a bit before continuing. “I’m not just going to toss you off to the side. I want you to feel safe and secure.”
“You said however I need you, right?” A surge of bravery as she reached out. Grabbing his arm before he could turn away. “Well what if what I need is you next to me?” Gale’s jaw dropped ever so slightly as he stared. Her face was probably completely crimson with how hot it was. “We can push the bedrolls together.”
“Zilyur-”
“I’m not asking for anything you’re not able to give. ” She cut him off. “I’m terrified of the nightmares I know are going to come. It’d be foolish of me to pretend they’re not going to happen, and they’re going to be terrifying. I just- I feel more grounded with you next to me. Maybe it’ll help or maybe not. But I’d like to try, if you’re willing.”
For the first time since she met him, Gale was speechless. It only took a few seconds of this quiet for the bravery to vanish and be replaced by fear. The idea that this might have pushed him too far struck her like an arrow. Gale was so polite, but he had boundaries. It wouldn’t be out of line if he asked her to find somewhere else to be for the night. The dread of possibly ruining whatever they had overtook her so swiftly she hardly processed her own actions. Her hand dropped from his arm as she stepped back abruptly.
“I shouldn’t have put that all on you. It was entirely selfish of me.” Damage control. Apologize and retreat with the last of her dignity. “None of that is your responsibility. I can just go back and sleep by the fire-”
It was Gale’s turn to interrupt her rambling, kneeling down and dragging her into a kiss. His hand back in her hair, cradling her head. The other arm wrapped tightly around her waist again. Her arms instinctively wound around his neck as she kissed back. It lasted less than a minute, before he pulled away. Hands still on her, their faces inches apart.
“I don’t know what about me says that I’m not a man of my word,” His eyes were locked on hers. “But you must enlighten me as to what it is. You are so incredibly important to me, and I don’t want you to ever feel the need to question that.” It was Zilyur’s turn now to be left speechless. She just gazed at him, arms still around his neck. Holding him close. “I will let you know if I’m upset by anything said or done. So until then, do not dwell on the what ifs.” Gale pulled back slowly, a smile on his face. All she could do was stand by as he set the bed space up for two.
“Do you have a preference on which side you like to sleep on?” He continued on with the task, like he hadn’t just changed the nature of their relationship in its entirety. “Back home I prefer the left side of the bed. But given the current state of well… Everything around us, I suppose it doesn’t matter too much. To me at least. I won’t begrudge you of your needs.”
“The right side is fine.” She felt a little absent minded, like her brain was trying to run in multiple different directions all at once. Still her body moved willingly as he took her hands, pulling her onto the bedding. Letting her get situated first, only then finding a place for his own comfort.
Zilyur arranged herself alongside him. Head resting on his chest as her fingers traced random patterns on his shoulder. His own fingers gently twisted and combed through strands of her hair while his other hand softly dragged across her arm. The lights gradually began to dim, and she was vaguely aware of a hint of lavender washing over them both. It took some time, but the fatigue from the day eventually caught up with her. An ache that ran bone deep, it was impossible to ignore. Limbs feeling heavy like lead.
“Thank you Gale.” She yawned, struggling to keep her eyes open. The patterns being traced were all but halted now.
“You don’t need to thank me.” He murmured into her hair, arms wrapping more solidly around her. “Just sleep. I’ll be here when you wake and all the hours in between.”
Dropping my BG3 Tavs here. Just in case I post fanfics about them and anyone cares what they look like. 😅
First up is my fiancé's half elf evocation wizard, Tanthalas. (Tanis for short.) Images 1-3 are of him. Followed by my forest gnome arcane trickster rogue Zilyur. (Zilly for short.) Images 4&5 are of her. They exist in our joint playthrough.
Next up is Ravara. My wood elf rogue. She's in my joint game with my bestie. We haven't gotten far yet, so there is no subclass.
And last (for now) is Tore Garrick. My other forest gnome arcane trickster rogue. (Can you guess what I main in dnd?) He's in my solo file, and the only one I've played at a dnd table.
