Synopsis: After the death of his sister, Zen is entrusted with raising her daughter. Six years later and MC has settled into RFA, but she just wants to be back on the roof with the love of her life like she was two years before. But dealing with teenage years, dragged out engagements and a lot of unsaid feelings, you start to lose a piece of you. Or, perhaps, find a piece you had that had been missing the whole time.
Warnings: Family problems, arguing (someone PLEASE teach the Ryus how to communicate), smoking.
Song: Weapons - Hudson Taylor
Notes: Uh hello I’m back for my annual update of this series ASFDJKA;. Happy to be back <3
⇦ Previous Chapter
***
Eight years. A lot can happen in eight years.
And a lot can not happen in eight years.
First it was the money - that they were going to save up for a proper ceremony. Then it was MC’s new job - that they agreed to let her settle in at her workplace before adding the stress of planning a wedding. Then it was family illness, then Chul was on tour, and then money was a problem again. There was always something, so people stopped waiting for the big day, until it simply slipped out of their minds.
However, not everything can last eight years, and Zen sometimes thought about it as he stared up at the ceiling, counting the marks until his mind finally let him rest.
Seams started to loosen after the night of the engagement party. His texts to her were often left without a reply, and he only really saw her at RFA meetings or group meet ups. After some time, Zen realised just how much things had changed, and were changing still. She was going to be married, start a new life, be surrounded by different people. He needed to give her space, and let her decide he could come back.
But she never said anything, and when she left the RFA, he knew that was it. She was gone.
He was angry at MC at first, for abandoning them all because she found someone ‘better’. For throwing away years of friendship, of trust, for someone he introduced her to. He was furious, but not for long. Eventually the mist cleared and he could see clearly again, and what he saw was that this was always going to happen at some point. People grow and change and move on. It was one of the only firm truths life had taught him.
So he accepted it, and moved on too.
“For fucks sake, Dad!”
Besides, he had other things to worry about.
“Gi,” Zen said smoothly, pinching the bridge of his nose, “you are sixteen years old, there is no way in hell you are going to a club. And watch your language.”
“Are you serious? It’s not like I’m the only sixteen year old who goes, literally everyone does it.”
“I don’t care if everyone else does it, it’s out of the question.”
She had crossed her arms now. Never a good sign. “You’re really not gonna let me go?”
“No, I’m not.”
“Unbelievable.”
The slamming of her door stopped making him flinch around the third time she had done it. Now, no matter how hard she tried to shake the hinges with the sheer force of her anger alone, it merely blended into the background as Zen sunk down onto the sofa. He sometimes wondered if she hoped the whole house would fall down with it. He didn’t really doubt it.
He was trying so hard, so very hard, to keep their little boat steady despite the conditions. But with every curfew passed and every appearance of a new piercing, they found themselves in rockier waters. Zen didn’t fear that the tide would win. Gi was a teenager, this was to be expected.
As long as she screamed at, argued with, and slammed her door at him, he knew they were at least somewhat safe. Because she was still communicating with him, and that was more than he gave his parents.
Sure, it gave him a headache, but he’d take that over her silence any day.
Though, he still doubted himself more than he’d ever care to admit. Even to himself, probably. Gi had always had spirit, it was part of her charm. But the direction this spirit was leading her frightened Zen a little more every day. Why was she so eager to rebel, to defy him, to completely ignore that he did and said everything he did because he cared so much for her that it sometimes made him ill. He was riddled with anxiety every time she didn’t pick up her phone or every minute that passed her curfew.
Yes, he acted the same when he was her age. But he wasn’t his parents. Gi shouldn’t feel the same way he used to.
So why did she keep slamming the door?
When she didn’t come down for dinner, he placed a plate outside her door, making sure his footsteps were a little louder as he descended down the staircase. He waited a few extra moments before he heard the click of her door.
Good, he thought. There we go.
As long as she reopened the door, even if just for a moment, the slamming would just be noise.
He’d take the headache over her silence any day.
***
Gi took another inhale from the paper roll between her fingers, before passing it back to the boy who had his arm draped over her shoulder. She grimaced as the smoke hit the back of her throat, an unpleasant heat filling her lungs and a rough burn scratching her tonsils. She tried not to show it.
“See? Don’t know what you were making such a fuss about,” the boy said, inhaling deeply before letting the smoke out into the cool air, swirling in the breeze, “it’s just a cigarette.”
“Oh, shut the fuck up.”
They hung out around the play area at the park - their usual spot. People knew to swerve around it, to not make eye contact. Parents turned away at the sight of them, telling their children they’d come back to the playground another day. They simply minded their business and did anything not to get noticed, even if that meant straying from their path or even just going back home.
The group thrived from this, from the fear they seemed to incite. All except one, but just like the people knew to avoid them, she knew to keep her mouth shut.
“Oi, you coming tonight? I can come pick you up if you want.”
Gi swallowed. “Nah I can’t, I have practice.”
The boy deadpanned, “Really? You’re still doing that shit?”
“Yo let the girl do what she wants,” another boy piped up, “her prancing around on ice doesn’t make any difference to you, does it?”
Okay well he didn’t have to say it like that, but the thought was there.
“I duno, just seems lame to keep it going for this long. Are you not bored?”
Several pairs of eyes landed on her, expecting her answer. Are you not bored, she thought, of doing absolutely nothing but terrorising the town?
But she smiled, and gave the boy next to her a nudge with her elbow, “Well, whilst you are stuck in class still trying to wrap your poor head around why and when letters were a part of maths, I get to prance around the ice and win my weight in prize money. For someone who is constantly banging on about ‘beating the system’, you really are very slow.” She took the cigarette once again, “Do try to keep up.”
One boy whistled lowly, one girl tried to hide her laughter, another boy gave her a fistbump.
Gi took a long drag, not breaking eye contact with him, and trying to ignore the way her stomach lurched when his mouth curled into a smirk.
***
He needed more aspirin.
Another detention. Another call from school. Another text from So-yi saying that she’d caught Gi and the group attempting to steal from her shop.
It had been an impulsive move. In a moment of anger and frustration, he had called Gi’s skating coach. He’d asked her to cancel the rest of her session and send her home.
Zen knew the rage he would be met with when she opened the door, but he’d take it. It wasn’t silence. He needed to get through to her.
It was his last option.
He half expected her to rip the door off its hinges, but she’d entered their house far more calmly than he anticipated. Though he did notice her knuckles as she gripped the door handle - white and trembling.
She was pissed.
“Why?” she questioned, and had she not been his daughter, his skin might have crawled from the pure venom that laced her words. He knew better.
“Because there’s no other way to get through to you. You keep going against anything I tell you, anything I ask of you. You won’t listen to me.”
“Then say something worth listening to.”
“Hey.” He snapped, clear and steady. He saw something different flash across her eyes. He chose to ignore it.
“Enough,” he continued, “enough is enough. I’m not going to let you keep going in this direction. I’m not going to let you go down the same path I did when-”
“And why,” she interrupted, her voice low but cutting through the air with razor sharpness, “on God’s earth, do you ever think I’d end up like you?”
For the first time in years, Zen was taken aback.
The house grew quiet, with only the ticking of the clock and shallow breaths filling the space. The pictures on the walls watched on as the two stood opposite each other in their stand-off, not uttering a word, hardly moving. Staring at, but barely even seeing each other.
Zen hurt, slashes and cuts from her sharp words littering his skin. He hurt for the days they were missing, the days which should have been filled with laughter that were slowly being taken up by days filled with screaming. He thought about shopping for her prom dress, helping her with her hair and makeup. He wondered if she’d ever be allowed to prom.
Gi hurt, a deep twinge in her chest that longed, ached for what they used to be. For the days where they were always on the same side. She wondered if who she had become would be unrecognisable to those who used to know her. She thought of MC. She thought of MC holding the hand of her younger self as she watched them now, terrified, tears in her eyes as she watched the person she became tear down the man she idolised, cherished, adored - the man who had loved her with every last piece of his heart.
But they were both so, so very stubborn, and their pain quickly mutated into pure, fierce anger.
“What did you say?”
“You heard me loud and clear.”
“Do not talk to me like that, Gi.”
“Why not? Tell me exactly. Why. Not.”
“Because I am your father-”
“Are you?”
With two very short words, barely a second in time, Zen’s whole world halted.
This was always a possibility. Zen just never imagined it would actually happen.
His biggest insecurity, biggest guilt, biggest wound - ripped open by the very thing that kept it closed.
“I appreciated you being transparent with me from the start. That we were ‘different’ than other parents and children, as you so eloquently put it. I don’t mind that I’m adopted. That bit doesn’t bother me, I’ve told you that before. But I’ve also told you that I need more information than that. And you ignored me, time and time again.”
Zen’s mind was absolutely reeling.
Gi merely laughed at his expression. “Your face is telling me that, after all this time, you really thought I wouldn’t go looking?”
Not now...he can’t do this now.
“After all the times you shutdown my questions, stating you ‘still weren’t ready to talk about it’. You have an AWFUL habit of doing that, by the way. Not talking. No wonder you let MC waltz out of your life. The one semblance of a friend I had just walking out the door because you won’t fucking TALK-”
“Gi.”
“NO! You are going to listen to me this time. I am so sick of this. I had to find out everything on my own, because I needed it and you wouldn’t so much as give me a clue. You wouldn’t even give me a sliver of a chance of finding out who I am-”
“You are not your bloodline, Gi. You are you.”
“How is that so easy for you to say? Because you didn’t get along with your parents-by-blood so automatically all parents-by-blood are irrelevant? You chose to walk away from them, I didn’t. They left and I had no idea who they were. So I found out. Do you wanna know what happened to my actual dad-”
“Gi, please, don’t say it like that,” Zen croaked, willing his heart not to crack anymore than it already had.
He saw her gulp, clearly trying to hold herself together so she could get to her point.
“And you know what? That fact alone doesn’t even phase me. The bit that hurts is that I had to find it all out on my own because you wouldn’t say a word. And then you stand here and have the audacity to say I’m not listening? Well let me tell you,” she took a step towards him, barely an arms width apart, “if I share your likeness as much as you like to think I do, then you will know just how excruciating silence is. And you’ve given me nothing but that. No wonder I dished it right back,” a pause, a blink and a falter, “more than I think you realise.”
It was a lapse of judgment, a decision made from veritable, searing agony.
“No more skating.”
Her face dropped.
“What?”
A lapse of judgment.
“No more skating. Not until we get you back on track.”
A decision made.
“And he still doesn’t get it,” she whispered.
A deep, violent wound that bled. Bled onto his words, bled onto her.
“A mistake,” her hand was on the stair rail, “A big fucking mistake.”
Her door doesn’t slam, he barely even hears it click, and the house is silent.
Zen sinks to the floor, like he was a child. Like he was those sixteen years ago.
Like he’s a step closer to losing the last piece of her he had left.
***
Her phone pinged.
yo, you sure youre not coming tonight?
She packed a bag, fixed up her makeup and locked her door.
Meet me outside my window.
Two minutes later, her phone pinged again.
there’s a good girl. told ya you needed to loosen up. you should really listen to me more, yeah? see you in ten.
When she heard the stones hitting her window, she opened it and swung her legs over.
She took one last sorrowful, guilt-ridden look at her door, before her feet met crunching leaves.
So I’ve been having a really tough time these last few days and have just kinda been either very detached, emotional, cranky or random mixtures of everything so I wanted to write some headcanons about how the MysMe characters would react in hope of making me feel a little better. I hope you enjoy!!
There’s brief mention of nudity in Jumin’s and Saeyoung’s but nothing’s sexual I promise.
Masterlist
Yoosung
Honestly he didn’t even realize you were having a rough night
When you got back to his apartment, he was working on homework and after dinner he went to play LOLOL
So when he turned to you after a win, hoping to celebrate, and saw you with tears silently tracking down your cheeks, his heart stopped
“Ohmygosh MC are you alright? What’s the matter??”
Immediately pulls you into his arms and rocks you back and forth until you calm down
Won’t push you to talk, but if you want to, will listen patiently
If you feel like talking, he’ll paint your nails for you while he listens
He’s not good at it but you love that he tries
Will snuggle you forever if you just want that
He just wants to do whatever it takes to make you the most comfortable possible
Zen
As soon as he got home from rehearsal, he knew something was off
You just seemed more quiet and retracted more than usual
Won’t bring it up for a while, not wanting to push you
So when you crawl into his lap when he’s practicing lines, he immediately puts aside what he’s doing and just holds you silently, rubbing your back calmingly
“Do you want to talk about it, jagi?”
Buries his face in your neck as you hold onto him tightly
Carries you to bed as you cling to him like a koala
When you’re snuggled in together, you tell him about what’s bothering you
Even if it seems silly in your eyes, Zen always tries to find solutions to the problems
If there’s no solution, then he just listens and tells you how sorry he is that you’ve had a bad day
He just wants to make you happy and when he can’t it makes him sad too
Jaehee
This poor woman is already stressed out from work
So when you seem to be distancing yourself, she panics
Goes over in her head everything she’s done the last few days to see if she could have caused it
Calls you on her lunch break (if she has one) and asks you what’s going on
You immediately tell her and she talks things through with you as calmly as possible
Picks up your favorite food and candy on her way home to surprise you
It warms her heart when she sees you smile when she hands you the bag
Instead of finishing her work on the kitchen table that night, she does it on the couch with your head resting on her shoulder
Jumin
He’s honestly completely oblivious until he finds you crying on the bathroom floor
Enter panic mode
“Are you hurt?? What happened?”
Jumin completely understands having bad days, and wants to do anything he can to make you happy since you were there for him before when he was struggling
Draws a bubble bath for the both of you and you sit in between his legs, your back against his chest and just drink wine together as he holds you and he tells you about his day, even if they’re stupid things
Hearing him talk just makes you feel very calm
He dries you off and wraps you in the fluffiest bathrobe you own
While you’re changing into pajamas, he makes you some hot chocolate
You both sit together on the couch, watching your favorite movies until you fall asleep together, Elizabeth 3rd snuggled in between the both of you
Saeyoung
Your robot cat notified him that something was wrong
He immediately stopped work when he read the message, going to find you
Finds you in your shared bedroom scrolling through your phone
“What do you want?”
“MC, robot cat told me you were upset.”
That made you laugh because coming from anyone else, that would sound ridiculous
“I guess I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning”
“Well let’s nap and then wake up on the right side of the bed”
This boy gathers every blanket in the house that he can find and bundles the two of you up
With the feel of his naked skin against yours, you quickly fell asleep
No, you guys didn’t do the do, you both just like feeling as close to each other as possible
When you woke up, you were still in Saeyoung’s arms and he was watching you
When you smiled and kissed him softly, he knew everything was better
Jihyun
He picks up on the fact that you’re upset right away
Without letting on that he knows, he takes you to his art studio
Sets up a huge canvas against the wall and hands you a paintbrush and various buckets of paint
“Throw the paint. It’ll help.”
You don’t believe him at first, but surprisingly it does help make you feel better
You accidentally flung the paint back one time and you heard it splatter, turning around and seeing the man you love with yellow paint on his face and in his hair
He looks good in yellow, you’d have to make a note to buy him some yellow shirts sometime
You shrieked and giggled as he picked up another paint brush, splattering you with some orange
Most of the paint ended up on both of you instead of the canvas
But when he pressed you up against the canvas as he kissed you, his handprints and yours mixing together, he had to admit that it was his favorite work of art, besides you of course
Saeran
He’s the king of being moody so when you sass him, he’s taken aback
“What did I do?” as he follows you around like a lost puppy
You know rationally that he didn’t even really do anything, you were just cranky
But also the fact that he was following you around was annoying so you continued to ignore him
Poor bb was so confused
Leaves you alone as you stress clean the house, making sure to stay out of your way
Makes sure to have dinner ready for when you’re done
As he’s stirring the pasta, you wrap your arms around him from behind
“I’m sorry I was cranky, I guess I’m having a bad day”
Makes sure to cater to your needs the entire night, even if that just means holding you while you read a book, him watching tv
