#zerkers

[nicked-hatchet]

I'm so sick of zerker elitism.

I've learned to avoid groups shrieking for "ZERK ONLY" like they have the plague, even if I'm on a "zerk" character, but I still can't seem to avoid these killjoys.

I joined a team going through the Ascalonian Catacombs and despite them lacking the "ZERK" tag it didn't take long before one of them questioned me on my build. The second I confirmed that my warrior is not a zerk I was buried in condescending comments about the game "not having the holy trinity" and that I was being useless and "why would I even want to play as a defensive character?". I kept my retorts as short and polite as possible and thankfully the shitstorm died down, though not before it had ruined what could have been a smooth and otherwise enjoyable dungeon run.

The amount of abuse you will get for not conforming to this "one true way" of playing the game is nauseating and I am bloody sick of it.

Just because I'm not a zerker doesn't make me useless. Holy trinity or no, a team is going to run better with some balance, that's just common sense. I'm tired of all in, balls to the wall, stacking in a sweaty corner, wipe and retry. As a defensively built character I can keep people on their feet, distract or kite enemies, and survive onslaughts that would down a zerker. That. Is. Still. Useful.

But even if it bloody wasn't, that's still no justification for giving people shit about the way they play the game. There's no wrong way to play a game. We all have our preferred ways and that's fine. It's when you start telling people that what they enjoy is "wrong" that my fur starts to bristle.

If you want to zerk, then zerk! I zerk! I have a maxed out, zerk-tastic, mesmer bastard who swats champions like flies! It's hella fun! But so is standing up against that same champion and taking all those ground-shaking attacks with my health dropping no more than a fraction of an inch. It makes me feel just as badass as a massive damage decal does.

So in short; fuck you, elitist zerker guy. Fuck you for ruining that dungeon run. You can think non-zerkers are stupid all you want but keep that shit to yourself 'cause there ain't no one else but you who wants to hear it.

[nicked-hatchet]

PUG's

Hrime: But yes, I need to play more dungeons, but I'm never online when everyone else is, and PUG's are scary

The Hatchet Lady: I learned to navigate those out of necessity. Pugs, I mean. Their bark is usually worse than their bite

Hrime: Yes, but you cannot question the fact that a lot of them seems to have run head-first in to walls one to many times

The Hatchet Lady: That is awfully true. And some of them are a bit too focused on arses.

Hrime: Indeed. If you don't make them respect you they'll shit all over the place

The Hatchet Lady: Yeah, and pee on your shoes just to prove their superiority

Hrime: Especially your shoes ...and if those shoes aren't zerkers, then ho boy

The Hatchet Lady: Yeah. Zerker pugs tend to be the worst ones, but you learn to see the signs. Like the loud, yelping barking

Hrime: Yes

The Hatchet Lady: "NO NUBS"

Hrime: "ONLY 5000+ CHIEVO POINTS"

The Hatchet Lady: "ZERK ONLY"

Hrime: "FULL ASC ONLY"

The Hatchet Lady: "YIP YIP YIP"

Hrime: "BARK BARK BARK"

The Hatchet Lady: "STACK STACK STACK"

Hrime: "WHINE WHINE, WIMPER, WHINE"

[nicked-hatchet]

I'm surrounded by zerkers...

I’ve spent a lot of time grinding Honour of the Waves lately to get those sweet kodan weapons for my guardian. It’s been relatively painless so far since the dungeon is one of the easier ones and there’s usually enough interest to quickly form a PuG and dash through it.

This morning, however, I had the unfortunate pleasure to run with the worst party I think I’ve ever encountered.

Our leader was a unpatient, swearing, fickle-minded twat, and despite being a party of soldier professions (three warriors and two guardians) we kept wiping over and over. All the while our whiny leader repeated “stack stack stack” and called us idiots whenever we wiped, despite he himself being the first to kiss the planks most of the time.

After having failed to defeat Svánigandr (a boss that I have never failed to defeat first try in all my earlier runs) for the second time I finally suggested that we skip the stacking and just go at it mobile, retreating if necessary, and focusing on ressing whenever someone fell. Our leader retorted with an all-caps question on whether we had tank and after confirming that I would take that position since I’m specced for damage-soaking and support, we had a try. Despite one harrowing moment where three of us went down, we pulled through without much trouble. Our stack-loving leader pathetically tried to de-value my tactics by saying that we “almost lost”, and then he immediately went back to yelling at us to stack for the rest of the dungeon.

This stacking mentality is quite baffling to me. The combat of Guild Wars 2 focuses heavily on movement, with the ability to dodge and evade, as well as the very prevalent red rings of death. There’s even a setting in the options called “Melee Attack Assist” that makes it easier for you to strafe an enemy within melee distance since it stops you from clipping through a target. By my personal preference, GW2’s combat is the most fun when it’s fast paced, tactically challenging, and mobile. Despite this, every other dungeon run is spent huddled in a corner with a bunch of sweaty strangers. I won’t deny that it does work if done right, but why are people so opposed to skipping the stack when it fails? Doing the same thing and expecting a different result might not be the actual definition of insanity but it’s certainly idiotic.

And then we have the zerkers…

That’s what I figure the rest of the team was since they all went down so quickly under fire. Now I’m not against builds focusing on pure damage. Heck, my dear mesmer Rukk runs a full berserker build and I enjoy seeing the crits fly through the air. But anyone claiming that this is the one “right” way to play the game is talking out of their pimply anus. Hell, anyone claiming there’s only one way to play any game is so full of shit that they might as well be a septic tank.

To have a good team you’ve got to have balance. You’ve got to have people that can take damage, deal damage, and heal damage. I’ve run many a fractal where the team has gotten stuck and all I’ve needed to do was to switch out Rukk for Aerin, my tank-built warrior, and we’re blazing ahead again. It’s that simple. Yet I’ve still had people on the team complaining that full zerk is the only way to run, even though I’ve literally just saved their butts with my 30 trait points in Defense and 0 in Arms. It takes true dedication to deny those blatant facts.

I’m sure a team of zerkers could make it through a dungeon, but I’m also pretty damn sure that huddling up and thus giving the enemy an easy way to focus fire on your very squishy team is NOT the ideal tactic in that situation.

So to put it simply; If it don't work then stop stacking, bookah.