I just caught up on your liveblog, and have been enjoying it so far. I kind of noticed that every time you say you don't like a troll you mention people telling you to wait for context. Most people reading Homestuck don't like GC or CG at first either. They act like jerks, and it's ok to think they're jerks ('cause they kinda are). Don't feel pressured to give them the benefit of the doubt if there's no in-comic reason to. Sorry if this ask is pointless, just thought it wouldn't hurt to bring up
Thanks for reading everything so far! This ask is not at all pointless, and I’m glad you brought it up. :)
I think part of the reason why people tell me to wait for context is because they might be afraid I’ll stop reading, which is a valid concern. Homestuck is epic in size, and not something to go into lightly. I admit, if I hadn’t done a liveblog, I probably would have gotten discouraged by now at the size of it. Please rest assured that, even though I have YEARS of posts ahead of me, I’m, shall we say, entrenched in this bitch.
I have to recognize that the trolls are beloved characters in the fandom, as well. “X is a horrible person, but they’re my trash child and I love them.” My initial feelings towards certain trolls do not reflect my thoughts on the fandom’s feelings towards those characters. In fact, it’s an impetus for me to continue reading. If so many people have such strong feelings of affection towards CG or GC or AT and all the rest, that means there is a reason why, and it will be fascinating to find where that reason shows itself.
I’m also a writer, and I recognize the emotional impact that comes from characters doing things in a story. I love it when a character does something that makes me want to fling a book through a wall; one time, I wrote a death scene for a character, and when I was done, I cried for 5 minutes. When I have an emotional response because of a character, I feel the need to treat it as something intentional that the author was trying to convey. It may not have been intentional, but that doesn’t make the emotion or the writing any less valid. And in my opinion, it’s evidence that the character is written well.
My concern is that I worry my reactions might offend someone. When I wrote this post, I spent a lot of time wondering if I was overreacting or if someone would be upset with what I had to say. Because of my experiences growing up, I’ve never been used to having my feelings validated or people being genuinely interested in what I have to say. It’s always going to feel like a foreign concept to me. So when I say things like I’m “waiting for context,” I’m not only recognizing that there is a big picture here and it will be revealed at the proper time, I’m also trying to alleviate my worries of making someone upset over what I’ve said. It’s a wholly internalized fear, and one that I will probably spend the rest of my life trying to fix.
Perhaps my journey through Homestuck can help with that. Guess there’s only one way to find out.
As always, thanks for reading. :)
