Part two of this post bc I have more things to say but I cannot bc itās about Peter. Spoilers up to s9
TW for talk of suicide ideation and self bc,, well, itās Peter
So I mentioned in my last post how Simon didnāt deserve to face such harsh consequences for what heās done. Well, Peter definitely shouldnāt. He faced enough consequences for what he did when he was Simon. Heās a whole different person, heās changed. So why does he still have to pay the price for what he did, for something heās already more than made up for?
He sacrifices himself repeatedly for team Abel, and nobody ever bats an eye. Yes, heās immortal, but he still feels pain. Heās constantly putting himself in harmās way, doing dangerous things. Because he āsacrificedā his friends for immortality, now he feels he has to use said immortality to keep them safe. Not exactly bad in and of itself, but his self worth is so low, itās almost as if he feels he deserves to suffer because of what he did so long ago. He still doesnāt feel like heās forgiven
So he lets himself get hurt all the time, and nobody else seems to mind. Important to note, his mental health is terrible. Itās not something he tries to hide, heās very blatant and clear about it, but team Abel chooses not to address it despite how clear it is. Probably because heās immortal, so they donāt care one way or another since heās not going anywhere. Which is absolute bullshit because it doesnāt matter if heās immortal if heās hurting. We see constantly how he says concerning things that make his declining mental health super obvious
In s7m10, he talks about taking drugs at a rave to make you feel like you belong and like thatās where youāre meant to be, calls Sam lucky when he says he doesnāt need drugs to feel that way. Implying that Peter doesnāt feel like he belongs. Like he needs drugs to feel something. His state of being gets overlooked constantly. Not a single person made a comment about it
s7m21, we find out he can infect zombies with immortality (I have issues with this also but again, another rant for another day). Peter offers to jump into the lava. Heās definitely serious about it, but nobody really takes it seriously, itās just another thing thatās brushed off and swept under the rug
s7m23, he literally tries to kill himself. This is the one and only time his mental health is everĀ āaddressedā, and what made it worse is that someone who can arguably be seen as a villain was the one who talked him out of it. Team Abel couldnāt do it, it was Sage who was able to do it. Peter was talking about how heās a liability, how the only thing he was good for was being an immortal runner. He doesnāt think heās worth anything if heās not helping. He canāt just be, he has to be doing something, sacrificing himself in some way, and if he canāt do that, then heās useless to Abel. He thinks he deserves this. And again, nobody from team Abel is able to talk him out of it. None of his friends could say anything to make him stop. It was Sage, who barely knew him. It never gets addressed again after this
s7m39, Peter literally tries to do it again, asking why nobody can just let him die a hero. And again, itās Sage who realizes what heās doing and saves him. Nobody else cares that he was trying to sacrifice himself again. Itās never brushed on again after that, just swept under the rug again
In s8, the radio modes. Maxine casually mentions how Peter regularly disembowls himself and to not worry about finding stray organs and intestines around the township. The fact that Peter is even doing anything like that and itās treated as nothing is beyond disgusting. Immortal or not, that level of self harm would warrant immediate attention, and he clearly isnāt getting treated the way he needs. Heās suicidal and purposely inflicts pain onto himself, and none of hisĀ āfriendsā even give a shit. Plus he offered himself up to get stabbed multiple times and nobody was very concerned about that
s9m4, we learn heās had a burn cube put inside of him. Itās been probably around four months since the end of s7 by then, which means at some point between s8 and s9 starting, Peter, who is suicidal, was given the means to kill himself. He didnāt want to be a liability, and everyone basically said that he was such a big liability that they were gonna put a burn cube in him so he could kill himself if a zombie bites him
Not only that, but in s9m19 we find out that it was literally Janine who approved it. Janine, whoās supposed to be his friend and partner. Whoās supposed to love him. That isnāt fucking love. And the fact that nobody else whoās supposedly his friend is just fine with that like Peter isnāt a danger to himself. If team Abel really cared about him, they never wouldāve even considered putting a burn cube inside of him. Thereās a lot they wouldāve done different if they actually cared about him
And then he gets abandoned. The wholeĀ āitās necessaryā thing is bullshit, Peter is biased and hates himself and thinks he deserves it. Peter wonāt argue with sacrificing himself or hurting himself, and team Abel, ESPECIALLY Janine, shouldnāt be so agreeable when it comes to that. He has issues he needs to work on, yes, but itās hard and damn near impossible to do that level of mental recovery and healing without a good support system and considering how his supposed friends treat him, he doesnāt have one of those. Heās on his own, mental health still terrible, still sacrificing himself because he thinks he deserves it. The only thing heās got going for him is being useful to the people he considers his friends and because itās all they seem to want him for. They treat him as a tool that can be used and discarded when heās an actual person with real feelings and emotions
He puts himself through so much to protect the people he loves and the feeling is absolutely not mutual. Heās treated like shit by everyone and just takes it because he thinks itās what he deserves. Heās in a toxic relationship, and everyone else around him who he considers friends brush off his feelings. Heās always there trying to help other people, dealing with their feelings, defending Five when everyone forgets theyāre not immortal like he is, but nobody is ever there for him like that. His feelings are cast aside, never addressed. His declining mental health and self mutilation is literally treated as a joke and itās not funny, itās sad and horrifying and what makes it worse is that nobody who claims to care about him actually gives a shit, the narrative makes that abundantly clear
Anyway, tldr; Peter is treated like shit by everyone and deserves so so much better and deserves to just move on and heal and find people who actually give a shit about him and his terrible mental health. He doesnāt need to make up for anything else, he doesnāt need to sacrifice himself to feel needed or wanted. He never did. Literally itās only him whoās ever really had to face the consequences of his actions when other characters have done so much worse. Please for the love of god just let my boy vibe
