Apr 29, 2016
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“Have you met my brother?” Bitterness suits him so well as it urges lips to take the shape of a sour grin. Ebony locks fall from their setting and fall upon his temple, a smaller strand sits upon his forehead to tickle the point of his noise. He HUFFS it out of the way, but when dissatisfied with its placement Loki tucks it aside with a practiced sweep of his hand.
“We all have FAMILY... the individuals we fool ourselves into believing are our brothers by the sheer strength of our bond, but we always find each other on differing sides in the end. It’s inevitable.”
@zsoldat starter call
@zsoldat
STEVE ROGERS HAS A ROUTINE:
1. FIND THE PARTY. once, this was the most difficult part, because NYC is a damn huge location with an entire ARRAY of locations to host all sorts of FILTHY gatherings; but, MODERN TECHNOLOGY is a blessing, && after the fourth time his friend tony makes it so that steve can TRACK bucky’s phone. yes, it’s an ANAL method to search for your friend, using a TRACKER, but, frankly, it’s hard to decipher a LOCATION when the person on the other side of the line is out of their mind DRUNK && HIGH. no, no, no, bucky, there’s no way you’re in MINNESOTA, are you sure that’s not a street name??? 2. a) FIND BUCKY WITHIN THE PARTY. this comes at a close second to the first step, in regards to DIFFICULTY. it’s like playing WHERE’S WALDO in a warehouse where the only source of lights are STROBE LIGHTS, && where the building’s overexceeded its maximum capacity by a COUPLE HUNDRED individuals. he literally has to search every inch of the god damn BUILDING due to the unpredictability of these environments. THERE’S NEVER A PATTERN. once he found bucky on the ROOF, so steve’s learned that looking everywhere is in no way RIDICULOUS. 2. b) SHOO OTHER PARTY GOOERS. when he finds bucky, he doesn’t ALWAYS find him alone. sometimes, he’s accompanied by half naked WOMEN or MEN. sometimes he’s in a PIT of half conscious bodies. sometimes, there’s the occasional CREEP. sometimes, there’s that really buff guy that’s pissed off about GOD-KNOWS-WHY. either way, it’s a BLESSING when he finds bucky alone. that means he can carry on quicker, but if not that slows him down. NO, i don’t want to join your orgy. NO, he’s not interested. NO, i don’t have your DRUG MONEY------ wait, how much does he owe??? NO, i don’t want to fight you but if you don’t get the hell away i won’t hesitate to push you out of that WINDOW. after a while, when bucky calls he tells him to find somewhere where he can wait for steve ALONE. 3. CHECK FOR INJURIES. possibly one of the most nerve wracking parts of the whole PROCESS. bucky doesn’t look okay, he NEVER does with the filthy habits he engages in, but that doesn’t mean he always needs to be taken to the hospital. most of the time he’s really DEHYDRATED. but sometimes there’s bruises, or cuts, && OH GOD where’s the blood coming from??? maybe it’s selfish to say, but steve tries to take care of that ALL HIMSELF, because bucky can’t pay for HOSPITAL BILLS when he’s a drunk && a drug addict, so it comes out of steve’s paycheck that’s already not much. HE’S PISS POOR BUT HE ALSO DOESN’T WANT BUCKY TO DIE. nevertheless, he finds himself thanking SARAH at her grave for passing down some of her nursing skills onto steve. maybe THAT’S what he should have gone into. 4. GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. if it’s cold outside, steve brings an extra jacket for bucky, or gives him his own, but once bucky’s properly dressed for the streets, he hauls him up, && heads to the NEAREST EXIT. sometimes the nearest exit involves passing through hundreds of people while having to DRAG another body’s weight along with your own. steve tries to make it fast because at this point it already feels like his lungs are BURNING. but that’s on GOOD DAYS. sometimes, he has to get bucky out of there before the COPS get to them. the police raid some of these parties, && during those times, their EXIT is usually a window, not always including a fire escape. JUST JUMP INTO MY ARMS, BUCK, I WON’T LET YOU FALL. 5. GET HIM HOME. the word HOME can be used loosely here. it’s not always bucky’s home that they end up in. sometimes, bucky’s apartment is too FAR, which means steve’s is FARTHER, so he either asks SAM or NATASHA for a favor, && to let bucky crash on their couch. but most of the time, it’s either in bucky’s or steve’s apartment that they find solace in. at this point, steve is out of breath, && is half PRAYING to god, thankful for being able to get there without any trouble with LAW ENFORCEMENT. WE’RE HOME, BUCK.
STEVE ROGERS HAS A SECOND PART TO THIS ROUTINE, THAT STARTS ONCE THEY’RE HOME:
6. STRIP HIM. this is possibly one of the most DISGUSTING parts, because bucky’s clothes are usually FILTHY. the thick SMELL of distinct types of smoke are enough to HAUL a couple of coughs out of steve’s system. sometimes bucky’s either puking, or has VOMIT all over him, so it’s needless to say this is steve’s least FAVORITE part. but once he manages to get bucky out of his filthy clothes, he throws those into the WASHER, && continues with a sigh of relief. 7. BATHROOM. steve can’t leave bucky all FILTHY. it feels MORALLY wrong to leave bucky looking DISGUSTING, because that means he probably FEELS disgusting as well. steve hates bucky’s habits, but he still respects him as a person, so often times, he’ll DRAG him into the shower for a quick rinse. nothing TOO extensive. afterwards, he patches up any INJURIES that might be there, && dries him off, && dresses him in something WARM. 8. BED-TIME. at this point, it’s an UNHOLY time of night, but everything’s finished. he gets bucky into bed, && he TUCKS him in, && he leaves. sometimes, it drags on more than that, because sometimes bucky’s CRYING && steve stays there trying to COMFORT him, but he sometimes doesn’t know WHAT he’s comforting him about because it’s hard to UNDERSTAND what the hell bucky’s saying. IT’S OKAY, BUCK, EVERYTHING’S OKAY, YOU’RE HOME. I’M HERE, IT’S ME, STEVE, I’M WITH YOU ‘TILL THE END OF THE LINE.
right now, he’s at STEP 8, && he’s feeling good about his night; usually, he && bucky aren’t home this early, but tonight is in his favor, && steve thinks he actually might make it to his apartment with ENOUGH TIME to watch reruns of REAL HOUSEWIVES. he pulls the blankets up on bucky, && tucks him in, && then he properly kneels down beside him, && PRAYS to god that someday bucky finds his way, && learns to live a life with less SELF HARMING aspect. after all, what he’s doing is SELF DESTRUCTION. && despite the fact that steve knows he’s being USED to get bucky out of those parties, he still takes his time && effort with this man. sometimes, he doesn’t even understand WHY he doesn’t just get him home. WHY CHECK FOR INJURIES? WHY BATHE && DRESS HIM? WHY TUCK HIM IN? maybe for him to resemble the man once he used to be.
he stands up slow, giving him ONE LAST look.
‘ GOODNIGHT, BUCK.
@zsoldat gets the flowerchild.
00:10:23 UNTIL THE CONCERT BEGINS. or at least the timer on his phone, which sits beside him on the GRASSY HILL overlooking the venue, says so. && HE’S ABSOLUTELY ECSTATIC. even when fingers absentmindedly add more flowers to bucky’s flower crown, (which is technically finished but he doesn’t want to let the remnants of the daisies go to waste) there resides a SMILE on his face, melding his features into one complete MOLTEN look of genuine contentment. steve has been ANTICIPATING this for a while; saving all of his MONEY for tickets && then having to wait a string of MONTHS for the concert wasn’t FUN, but being so close to the actual moment itself makes it worth it.
fingers TWIST && TUCK the last daisy into the crown, && he SCOOTS close enough to bucky so that their knees are touching------------------------- hands take the crown && gently maneuver it onto bucky’s head. he makes a couple last readjustments with placement, which then leads to FINGERTIPS tucking strands of hair behind bucky’s ear. only once he’s SATISFIED with his work, he lets his pearly whites on display offering bucky a WIDE-SET GRIN.
‘ DAISIES LOOK GOOD WITH YOUR LEATHER.
ID. | @zsoldat
❝ james ? ❞ his name slide off her tongue as she took a step closer to him. it HAD to be him, it was the only explanation she could come up with in the back of her mind. he looked exactly like the man she ONCE knew. the man that had fallen from a train, sacrificing his life for this country and the S.S.R.... how he was standing here now... CONFUSED the agent. but she wasn’t going to leave until she had her answer. ❝ ...james ? how... how is this POSSIBLE ? ❞
@zsoldat
It’s been almost four years since Bucky had joined the army and since Steve tried everything he could to follow him... ---- He’d failed; accepting the fact that the only thing he could do for his friend was to pray for him only to get the good news about America’s success followed by the far more important news: James Buchanan Barnes was dead. He’d died as a hero, serving their country and Steve knows he should be proud of his friend...
Yet, pride doesn’t bring Bucky back, does it? It doesn’t make him appear on the front door with a stupid smile and a lot of war stories to tell.
He is gone and accepting that fact takes far longer than it should have. Grief is something ugly. It never leave you, no matter how many years pass by... They didn’t even bring the body for a traditional ceremonial funeral; couldn’t find him in the mountains of russia... Just a tombstone with his name; that’s all Steve had left.
That and the few things left in their apartment.
He wasn’t sure if it could be considered luck but with the lack of men in the country, it had been easy for him to find a job and he’d been good enough at it to keep it; paying their -- his rent and making sure to stay warm on cold winter days (and even cold autumn days) simply because he knows Bucky would never forgive him if here were to catch a cold and die from that. No.
It was a day like any other and Steve had gotten his paycheck; using it in order to get some fresh vegetables for dinner before he walked home. He’d listen to the radio; maybe draw something after eating dinner and then go to sleep... There really wasn’t much excitement in his life but it was okay this way. It just HAD to be...
@zsoldat
‘ ------ i don’t think you should be doing that. ’