I hc that Kaeya grew up on fantasy and romance novels but romance novels especially piqued his interest. He was a romantic at heart and he idealized this idea of falling in love too since his biological parents were so in love and he got to see them be practically inseperable. So when he read these novels of fair maidens and gentlemen finding happiness against all odds, can you blame him for being so eager to fall in love too? But things took a turn and soon the hope he had was gone and was instead replaced with burden and hardship. He still wants love but long gone were the days where he dreamed of longing glances and fairytale romance, he became more pragmatic about it. Walled himself up to hide the truth that he desired things, intangible things.
So when Zhongli steps into his life and offers him that same kindness he only read about in novels or had seen from his parents, it feels fake. He pushes it away and casts it aside because no how could it possibly be and besides life has showed him that it is impossible to be selfish bc the world will only hurt you back. He plays along with Zhongli, but when things feel too real or like they’re going too far he unknowingly pushes away someone who arguably wants nothing more than to be by his side—as a friend, as a lover, whatever it may be Zhongli would never push anything onto him that he would not desire. And that’s what scares Kaeya…the choice to love and be loved.
So Diluc gives Zhongli the shovel talk (for those who don’t know it’s basically when you’re just like “hey don’t mess with my family you BETTER have the best intentions” blah blah) BUT consider Adelinde who also considers Kaeya her family and how she would react.
I like to think Adelinde is Diluc and Kaeya’s big sister and as one of their primary caretakers she would be aware of the different little signs/signals the boys give (things that others would overlook).
So when Kaeya shows signs of liking someone she gets really nosy but she’s coy about it like “Oh I know I’m just a lowly maid and it’s not my place to pry but—“ [starts prying into Kaeya’s business]. And so she starts playing matchmaker when she figures out who it is (because it’s Adelinde like come on she has a network of gossipers just as Kaeya and Diluc have their spy networks, she’s a smart lady and when she wants to know something SHE WILL FIGURE IT OUT).
She keeps tabs on Zhongli and Kaeya’s whereabouts and constantly insists on Kaeya going on “dates” with Mr. Zhongli even when he doesn’t want to. She even lowkey threatens him in that pleasant tone she has like “Sir Kaeya if you do not go on a walk with that fine gentleman let’s just say this holiday there may be one less delivery to make courtesy of the Dawn Winery”
And Kaeya just SWEATS like “oh dear… when did she get so scary”
But like I said Adelinde gets shit DONE and she knows Kaeya will be in denial of his feelings for years if she doesn’t come in to push him (lovingly of course). 💕
I just put my finger on this - it’s so so hard to “mature” into the people who are telling you from the other side of the bridge that young people haven’t crossed, “It’s the way the world is - you can learn to accept it or be miserable”
Because you’re looking at someone who hasn’t crossed the one, fixed bridge slash entryway to the middle-aged years or later life or wherever else they’re coming from - a different generation, let’s say - but someone who deliberately took a path, one path, that leads to apathy. Look away because it’s the best thing you can do for yourself. Look away because the world is fixed and cannot change. Look away because reality is just shitty, and blow after blow has flattened our resolve to respond. Look away, because sooner or later, you’ll have no choice.
And then being young, faced with paths less and more traveled, told that there’s only one bridge - implying someone else built it, honestly, with a specific destination in mind, via a route that has no bends, detours, or crossroads - you can’t wrap your head around their perspective. And it’s so simple as to why. How can you look away when the issue seems to concern everything, everyone, everywhere. When you are focused on a collective because you are still trying to find your place in it. The transition to early adulthood has baffled you as to how much you weren’t taught, how much there is to still learn and repair in a seemingly perfect society of opportunity and equality. And maybe this extends to childhood - we crossed a bridge laid very deliberately and softly to encourage safety and security, and the teenage years of self-exploration yield so much hurt, isolation, and confusion.
And of course, starting then is when young people are told it’s a phase, and that it will pass. But how the hell can it, if we do nothing to change course.
because this gif makes me do a double take every time i focus on the blurred lady and not penny, and i swear it’s spine-chilling for some reason.
so i wanted to expand it to the rest of the film - what else can be figured from this sort of “double-take” jumpscare that appears figuratively or literally throughout. and i think i have a lot to say
1- they’re both smiling. like okay, Blurred Lady has a gaping maw and empty eye sockets, but you can infer it’s a big smile, and given the environment as well she wouldn’t be given a cue to stand in front of the camera moping. meanwhile penny’s is classic beauty, hypnotic, the movement of the scene trailing after her. so much cheek, charm, and affection communicated in a glance. they both appear to be blond, with Blurred Lady’s hair fading out unnaturally while penny’s is a perfectly styled ombre, you can even see individual strands.
what this tells me:
anonymity defines the enemy. the “horror movie monster” becomes pilots with tinted visors and black gloves. they don’t register our hand signals, they perform aerial maneuvers which seem unnatural and death-defying - as miles teller’s f-bomb attests - but instead of being applause-worthy as they are when framed around maverick (more on that later), they up the tension, the danger, the hunt. when they explode into flame the music soars, characters cheer and heave in relief. when characters more familiar to us are jeopardized, the music is somber, there’s shock and dejection. maverick, again, is a contradiction here, with numerous instances of jeopardizing himself (mach 11, a chief example) and others. he himself assumes the role of “bandit” in training sessions, a role configured to be fatherly or mentor-like instead of hazardous to the students, and antithetical to mission objectives. the cobra maneuver which broke the hard deck, the bird strike, g-loc, and canyon simulations all resulted in near or simulated death. however, maverick continues to spearhead and advocate for his regimen, phase 1 and 2. the successful completion of it by him alone somehow guarantees the foxtrot teams will follow. where did we see the daggers’ successful run? but as the movie unfailingly, unflinchingly reiterates for us… like penny in the gif above, as long as mitchell is framed as sunny, warm, and familiar, he cannot be characterized along the same lines as the monster.
second. goodness of a character is dependent on their relation to the protagonist. if they act independently, they are - you guessed it - the enemy. in the best case (see: penny, cyclone, even cain when he chuckles in the credits) this is resolved through acclimation. this is troubling, because it implies goodness, in tgm’s narrative, is dependence. penny is not static in the gif, Blurred Lady is. but penny’s movement is not her own… she’s following a maverick who is being thrown overboard - ironically, consequences of unintended rule-breaking from an infamous rule-breaker - and her eyes say he is already forgiven. that she is drawn in by the spectacle and promise of mischief/romance that is maverick’s presence. despite “don’t give me that look” & “let’s not start this time”, penny’s non-consent to his advances already enters a limbo. as most elements in this plot reinforce, there is an inescapable orbit around the protagonist, and no matter how staunch one’s opposition to it may be - the gravity will overwhelm them. this gif does not just demonstrate the inevitability of penny’s attraction, but the most condensed form of “no matter what he does - you will still love him” conveyed to an audience. a film designed to internalize this, on every level. does this… not sound like horror yet? why not?
moving on.
2- you notice her later. maybe too late.
you know what is interesting, that horror set in broad daylight has been achieved with midsommar. flo pugh’s character sees the world a certain way, to where even as the nightmare unfolds to the audience, it doesn’t seem to occur to her. here is a place where she’s loved, embraced, and “autonomous”, choosing revenge and destiny of her “own will”… why would she turn away? why wake up? 2022, year of tgm’s release, has real sociohistorical context. besides close collaboration with a government in need of recruits, lockdown barred the american audience from the theater experience, confined them indoors - in a sense, out of reach of the sun. loneliness, stir-craziness, and no doubt loss and grief for many, were sure byproducts. here comes a shining, golden light. a sweeping score, a charismatic face. nostalgia is powerful: consider the role “haunting” plays in horror, and the role served by goose, the weaponized spirit of the loss that characterizes that same year. the most wrenching scenes are paired with “talk to me”, and sacrifice, service, become the tenor of the film’s pathos. patriotic ideals of freedom, rebellion, choice - only amplified by the narrative. a drug to the senses. a balm. a blindfold.
“and how to come home, sir” - says the protagonist to an antagonist who breaks rule two, dependence, acclimation. that just a few seconds earlier, cyclone says “that could have got all three of you killed” is irrelevant… one of them cares more about the lives under their command than the other, and this makes him virtuous and sympathetic. the implication is flimsy and ill-supported. but it endures, has endured, for years. i think the most dangerous monster is the one looking right at you, and somehow you feel safer with it than without.
OH OH, YOU'RE ALIVEEE?? ARE YOU DOING OKAY? Either I'm missing out or Tumblr legit hasn't been giving notifications like always.😒🤨
Am not gonna be spamming requests or such, don't worry!! (Even though my back do be kind of hurting from dragging around these banger ideas every day/hj) Do definitely wish for you to have your good breaks, especially around these holiday dates
And speaking about holidays, I do really want to wish you good Christmas days =} You planning on doing anything fun?? Just do keep in mind to take your rest and to spend time with the people you love!! Take care hahaa💞
HI ANON!!! I’m sure your tumblr has been working fine, I just haven’t posted in a hot minute (a few months) bc ive been too busy thinking about developing like 4 dating sims <///3 I think my inbox motifs have also been screwing up though, bc there’s like a ton of asks in here that i didnt see or get notifs for DDD:
Feel free to spam requests ngl, the inbox limit thing is highkey just for show so like,,,do your worst 👀👀👀
Christmas means cake so an entire afternoon spent making strawberry shortcake is in my near future >B) I’ll try not to paralyze my hands this time!
I’ll turn that into a transparent gif later…I’m so busy with my game design classes that I feel like I have no time to make content for my blorbos anymore ,,, it’s okay I’ve been unironically making zk content in my classes I’ve just changed their names shhhh no one has to know
you get anxious when you haven't replied to that text message in 1 hour? pathetic
i stare blankly at the message before doing something else and promptly forgetting about it for about 7 days until i get the urge for human communication
