thinking about the constant mockery of the betrayal and exploits towards zam as if it’s casual and how none of them saw at how zam got when he truly broke, when he was so blinded that he completely stopped thinking, his emotions were dulled and just raw anger would be present
no one ever saw it, he never let anyone see it yet whenever he got to that point the so called guy who had exploits behind his back was always there
his presence would appear and zam somehow would look towards it, making him pause even for a split second and ripping him away from his spiralling
it was always vague, the other never knew what was going on yet they themselves are so genuine that the tension zam held would loosen
through all this time and through all the brushed off “coincidences” he always unknowingly pulled zam from shutting down entirely
zam is alone and yet somehow sees him and finally takes a deep breathe
everyone who thinks he hurt him the most yet he’s the only one who ever understood him, getting angry at him for not letting himself be happy
in the darkest of pits there is no mockery towards each other, just a simple presence, physical or not, that pulls the frustration away
the others will keep mocking and bringing up his past pains to poke fun not knowing how much he was still held onto despite it
how genuine they were to him when he was at his most fragile points
no one will know and they will never speak of it yet the tone in zams voice will always show the unravelling of the knot that was causing him so much pain
a single message allows him to breathe without any words, something no else ever graces him with, a feeling ghat can never be replicated, a space of understanding and unconscious relief
to never force him, to never mock him, to show earnest vulnerability when he was at his lowest
to know exactly what the other needs without hurting or even stepping over his core in the process
selfless, vulnerability, delicate, glass, gawd