a lonely death @tahirqarn - Tumblr Blog

tiagoaflame‌:

— HELLFIRE〔korriban /// 3954BBY /// tiago && tahir 〕 content warning — violence / torture, referenced substance abuse

Normally, Tiago was a rebellious source of mischief shrouded under an innocent face and coy smiles. When Tahir told him to be quiet, however, Tiago was, staying close as instructed. There was no mischief, no pretending — and while there was no fear still, Tiago was serious, the few times in his life he actually was. If this went wrong, it wouldn’t have just been his life, but Tahir’s as well, and that was simply unacceptable.

He was laser-focused on Tahir, his mannerisms, the way he addressed and was addressed, the words he used, and the lies that seemingly came easy to him. There was no judgement — Tiago wasn’t the kind of person that judged another without all the details, and those were hard to get — it was just an observation. After a lot of stumbling and Tiago refraining himself from holding onto Tahir’s shirt — a bit of comfort — his brother managed to get them both off-planet and to relative safety, for now.

The moment Tiago had been shown — shoved into — the bed, he was out like a light. He wouldn’t wake again for sixteen hours.

When he did, it was with a sharp gasp, sitting straight in the bed, glancing around, before the events of the past few days came flooding back into his memory. Slowly, Tiago laid back down and, as he curled up into as tight a ball he could manage, let the stress and pain and every emotion that he’d been bottling out. He sobbed, rocking himself, ignoring the soreness of his body from ill-knitted wounds, the bruising inside his own head where they’d cracked and smashed. He let it all out, ten minutes passing, twenty, thirty-five.

An hour later, with his cheeks still wet and his eyes red and puffy, Tiago finally found it in him to leave the bed and be a person. “Tahir?” he called out, his voice still thick with emotion. He moved down the corridor of the unfamiliar ship, fingers brushing lightly along consoles, ignoring the holopad — there was no one for him to contact — until he finally managed to find his way to the front of the ship.

“Tahir,” he breathed when he finally caught sight of his little brother. Without thinking, Tiago gave into the first impulsive urge that rocketed his body forward, and flung himself at Tahir, wrapping his arms around him, face buried in his neck. When he took another deep breath, it was shaking again.

Tahir awoke with a soft gasp, the situation taking a split second to sink in. These were Tiago's arms, Tiago's weight and breath-- Tahir's first instinct was to push him away, but something stilled his hands. The uncharacteristic shake on Tiago's inhale, maybe, or the weight of the last few days (of the last few years).

Hands braced to distance instead softened, until his arms were wrapped around Tiago in return, the metal one anchoring his shoulders while Tahir buried his flesh hand in Tiago's hair, holding him with an uncharacteristic fierceness.

It felt like hours to him, but really the embrace only lasted a few moments before he broke. Before emotion threatened to overwhelm him, and he disconnected in self defense.

“Off, off,” He said, contorting himself to escape the chair and his brother before any tears could spill, “What are you doing? You should know better, you should keep your distance.” As he spoke, he moved. Further distance, hiding his face as well as possible. Tahir dragged his sleeve roughly over his eyes, before starting to rummage through his supplies in a nearby storage locker. There was no chance he was dealing with this sober.

But most of the bottles at hand were empty, and as much as he wanted to consider it, he couldn't dip into his more serious supplies with a Jedi on board. Irritated, he closed the locker again and spoke without looking in Tiago's direction.

“Before you get sentimental on me,” The knuckles of his right hand paled with the force of his grip on the locker door, “You should know that this little stunt was nothing personal, and it won't be happening again.” Chances were already slim that his master would let him survive this one incident, let alone any more.

“Also, I'm not going back for your things, so don't even think it.”

#siderealtiago #tiagoaflame #i told u he would cry if u hugged him #i told u #hellfire #3954 #ghost #korriban #do i keep tagging it as korriban even tho they left

tiagoaflame‌:

— HELLFIRE〔korriban /// 3954BBY /// tiago && tahir 〕 content warning — violence / torture

As Tiago sat up from where he’d been on the floor, he winced. Healed, yes, but it was wrong in some places; Tiago glanced down at himself as the other Sith stepped in again, slowly brushing his fingers across a bit of scarring Tahir’s hands had left on him. It was still impressive, sure, but the technique was crude and forceful, less like a suture and more like pressing a hot white piece of metal against an open wound. It solved the problem, but it wasn’t preferred.

He hadn’t been paying attention, his mind drifting in and out of focus in a manner that was slightly frustrating — Tiago didn’t know if it was exhaustion or the result of… the past few days — but before he knew, he was hauled up to unsteady feet, and escorted out with guards and Tahir in tow.

Tiago glanced at Tahir. Once, twice, three times within a minute, his head lowered, his mind still cloudy — his normal energy level had simmered to the lowest his brother would’ve ever experienced him. He didn’t know what Tahir had meant with his previous words. Was it a threat? A promise of… something? No one was coming for him, Tiago know, because he wasn’t supposed to be here.

The sounds their feet made as they walked down the hallway reverberated in his head and rang his ears a little in an uncomfortable manner. A glance towards the slightly younger man again. “Tahir?” The way it was uttered, there was no indication of a question to follow, rather than it being the question itself. What are you doing? What did you mean? What are you planning?

“Don’t speak,” Tahir half-whispered the words, harsh and on edge. He had Tiago by the upper arm, and gave him a steady squeeze, for if he talked too much it might ruin everything.

Mentally, Tahir had to dance around the concept of this rescue-- if he allowed himself to look at it too directly, he would lose his nerve for sure. But, as it tends to, time rushed on regardless of whether or not he’d made up his mind. The cells weren’t far from the interrogation rooms, and so it wasn’t a long walk before they turned the corner. The escorting guards split off, and they were left with the single dedicated guard-- Tahir had to hold his breath to keep from releasing it in relief. He knew this one.

“Naru,” It took him only a beat to remember the guard’s name. Tahir’s body language had changed completely as they turned the corner, straightening up and easing some of the exhaustion from his posture through sheer force of will. His smile was downright predatory.

“Ah, m-- Qarn, I didn’t realize you were back on Korriban,” The man straightened and, upon closer inspection, flushed slightly.

“Only for a few days. You guarding this cell tonight?”

“Yes, sir. It’s… Good to see you.”

“I could say the same,” Without letting go of Tiago, Tahir glanced around the hall and then stepped closer, reaching out to toy with one of the guard’s buttons, “I’m sorry I had to leave so quickly last time we saw each other, but would you be willing to do me a small favor?”

“I… Suppose that depends, sir. What would you need?”

“Just a few moments alone with the prisoner-- I have a room set aside, no one will find out. There’s a... Technique I didn’t want to try out in front of you-know-who, if you catch my meaning?” The guard very obviously didn’t, or wasn’t sure if he did, by the way his eyes darted back and forth between Tahir and Tiago. Understandable, Tahir wasn’t sure what he was meant to be implying, either. Regardless, the guard relented after a beat of hesitation.

“I guess a few minutes wouldn’t hurt, as long as you’re sure she won’t find out…”

“You’re a darling,” Tahir pressed his hand significantly to the man’s chest before stepping away, almost snarling, “I’ll make it up to you later.” And dragged Tiago away down the hall, before anything else could be said.

Out of sight around another corner, Tahir dragged Tiago closer and once more told him to stay quiet and close. The man seemed barely conscious as it was, so it didn’t make any sense to extrapolate on the plan.

Force cloaking the both of them all the way to the hangar would’ve been far too much-- but cloaking Tiago alone… Tahir could manage.

Given how recently he’d landed, Tahir’s borrowed ship was still set up in the hangar, and holding all of the supplies that he’d been able to gather before being called back to tend to the prisoner. It would do just fine-- and the hangar workers barely gave him a second glance as he rushed through, ostensibly alone.

Everything was going far too easily.

By the time Tahir could breathe again, by the time he felt safe enough to drop the force cloaking, they were both aboard his ship and officially spacebound. Just a few more seconds and they would be off of the planet entirely…

They made it. Against all laws of logic.

Though he was barely keeping his eyes open, Tahir managed to get them just out of orbit and set a course for Hutt space. He set the ship to cloak, and turned off all nonessential functions. Having roughly shoved Tiago into the single bed, he was left with the pilot’s chair.

It took him maybe two minutes to fall asleep, there.

#siderealtiago #tiagoaflame #no i didn't reblog this on the wrong blog at first shut up #ghost #3954 #korriban #hellfire

nathanielorion

My god, says the head to the beating heart,

How many times must I bury you?

Oh love, says the heart, blood mixed with grave dirt.

At least once more.

#musing #words

tiagoaflame‌:

— HELLFIRE〔korriban /// 3954BBY /// tiago && tahir 〕

@tahirqarn

content warning — violence / torture

Tearing, red, breaking, ripping, dark. With every visit, Tiago’s head was forced into the ocean of Dark, holding his breath until his lungs burned and he involuntarily inhaled all it had to give. It rolled off him, as easily as Light did, making spikes of the Force within him, which shot out viciously to defend itself and its host. The moment the pain stopped, the red lifted, and the Dark ebbed as quickly as it had flooded.

Every time, the same thing happened — they pushed and Tiago’s Force followed where they wanted it to be without issue, without fight. As they stopped pushing, his Force snapped back to its origin. The Jedi had tried, over years, by scolding, disapproving looks, separating him from his peers and friends, to push and keep his Force Light-sided, and they too had failed just like these Sith tearing at his body and mind did.

The doors opened, again, and two pairs of feet sounded towards where he’d been kept. No words when he was dropped into that ocean yet again, tearing, ripping, screaming — his screaming. Lashing out in anger in vain until it stopped again when his body was on the edge. Hands pressed to his chest and knitted burnt flesh and broken bones with warmth, and Tiago, breathing hard, tears and blood staining his cheeks, opened his eyes to look at his brother.

If you kill him, you could escape, a voice whispered through his head, around his right ear. “No,” he breathed out, still looking at Tahir, less focused on what he was doing, however impressive, than on his face, “he’s my brother.” A cough caught his breath as his body was mended under warm, familiar — yet unfamiliar — hands. This is his doing, kill him. A pained laugh bubbled from his lips, followed by a wince. “It’s not. Not at all.”

When his body — body only — was shaped back into its former state, hands left him again, fresh to restart the cycle of drowning and undrowning, ebbing and flooding his Force to the edges of his being’s capabilities. Tiago, from where he lay, caught the eyes of the woman with Tahir, and in an act of defiance, fueled by the warmth of his brother’s Force still lingering throughout his being, Tiago gave her a small, reckless grin. “You want to go again?”

Tahir’s master had very much wanted to go again.

"I like him,” As always, her voice was just at his ear, breath sending chills down Tahir’s spine, “He’s got some real spirit, don’t you think? And here, I was beginning to think that all Jedi were as spineless as you.” She doesn’t address their prisoner directly, having left him a wordless wreck for his most recent comment. Her smile was simply amused as she observed him over Tahir’s shoulder.

“Fix him again, dear, I want to see how much fun we can get out of our new toy,” Her fingers tapped out a bored pattern against the back of Tahir’s neck, “And how far your little tricks can stretch. If he's feeling more cooperative when I come back, there may be a reward in it for you. If he gives into the Dark, there definitely will be.” And with that, as with the previous times, she stepped out of the room to leave her apprentice alone with their latest captive.

Tahir was under no illusions about their safety.

This was a test. As most things were-- a test of loyalty. Somehow, they were being watched. Tahir had yet to admit to his connection with the prisoner, but he had never been as deceptive as his master was perceptive. As with every previous test, she would have spotted the flicker of heartbreak across his face no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

“Your bleeding heart is going to get you killed,” She had told him, once, as though it was simply a fact of nature. As though she wouldn’t be the one holding the blade.

“You’re a fool,” Tahir whispered, almost spat, as he got to his knees once more. It was the first time he had spoken, having resisted all of Tiago’s former babbling, but his control was wearing thin. He couldn’t tell whether he was talking to himself or his old friend.

Tahir’s healing wasn’t quite the gentle glow of a Jedi-- it was life, harsh and vibrant and eager. It scarred, almost unavoidably, and there had been more than one occasion where his experiments had gone horribly wrong. Bones forever locked into the wrong position, organs scarring over too much to work any further, pain refusing to go away.

It scared him that healing Tiago was so much easier. That those emotions (he refused to acknowledge what they were) which urged the Force to knit flesh and revive heartbeats came to him so much easier when it was someone he knew. He didn’t want to think that he was capable of gentleness like this, didn’t want to see how Tiago’s wounds were barely even scarring under his hands.

“If your friends have been urging you to kill me,” Tahir’s voice was barely above a breath as he worked, hands shaking despite himself, “You ought to listen to them. My master might be impressed enough to give you a head start.” That wasn’t the only option, of course.

Tahir was nearly spent. Healing always took more out of him than anything else, and his legs were liquid as it was. Even his master would be able to see that he couldn’t go any further that night, and they would be forced to break and continue the following day.

It was a foolish plan, half baked and bound to fail, but Tahir didn’t dare to think about it any longer than necessary. If he did, his master would surely see it on his face. The transition between the interrogation rooms and the dungeon would be the moment to make his move.

“If you insist on continuing your foolishness, however,” He hissed, almost against his own will, as Tiago’s skin finished knitting itself under his hands, “Then hold on for just a little while longer.”

Murder and betrayal had been easy enough for him, the decisions of a moment, but this extended torture... He couldn’t take it. Not as witness. Not with so little left to lose.

#obligatory disclaimer #that this may be wildly out of character #for the sith master #if anyone ever takes that connection #we'll just retcon don't Worry abt it #siderealtiago #i can't believe tiago's been around 2 days and he's already gotten Captured and Tortured #tiagoaflame #hellfire #korriban #ghost #3954

✧ >: )

Send me a ✧ and I’ll bold all that apply to your muse. — @senkanekor

I would kill you. ✧ I would physically hurt you. ✧ I would attack you unprovoked. ✧ I would manipulate you. ✧ I dislike you. ✧ You annoy me. ✧ You scare me. ✧ You intimidate me. ✧ I hope I intimidate you. ✧ I pity you. ✧ You disgust me. ✧ I hate you. ✧ I’m indifferent toward you. ✧ I’d like to get to know you better. ✧ I’d like to spend more time with you. ✧ I’d like to be friends with you. ✧ I’m unsure what to think of you. ✧ I’m unsure how I feel about you. ✧ You are my friend. ✧ You are my best friend. ✧ You are my mentor. ✧ I look up to you. ✧ I respect you. ✧ You are my hero. ✧ You inspire me. ✧ You are my enemy. ✧ You make me happy. ✧ I want to protect you. ✧ I would fight by your side. ✧ I consider you an equal. ✧ I think you are beneath me. ✧ I think you are above me. ✧ I would lie for you. ✧ I would lie to you. ✧ I would sleep with you. ✧ I would sleep by your side. ✧ I would hug you. ✧ I would kiss you. ✧ You are family to me. ✧ I would die for you. ✧ I would kill for you. ✧ I would trust you with my life. ✧ I would trust you with my most precious belonging. ✧ I would trust you with a secret. ✧ I would trust you with my biggest / darkest secret. ✧ I love you (platonically). ✧ I love you (romantically).

#senkanekor #hup this is so late my bad #tahir: yeah i would sleep w them #senka: i will do this to repay the debt #tahir: i changed my mind #also tahir: helps them out One time and then feels weirdly responsible for the rest of eternity #can't let them know that tho #that would be too close to being Honest abt Emotions #which as we all know is like kryptonite to tahir #camilla #answers

msmarvel

#listen #musing #vis

[ io ] ✧

Send me a ✧ and I’ll bold all that apply to your muse. — @iojhcor

#iojhcor #so ur trying to kill me Huh #LIBERAL USE OF STRIKING THINGS OUT #CAUSE I'M A WHOLE MESS #A WHOLE SCREAMING MESS #are things struck out cause tahir has Already Done Them #or cause he Doesn't Want to Admit #i'm actively dyin #cal #answers

[ boaz ] ✧

Send me a ✧ and I’ll bold all that apply to your muse. — @boazshol

I would kill you. ✧ I would physically hurt you. ✧ I would attack you unprovoked. ✧ I would manipulate you. ✧ I dislike you. ✧ You annoy me. ✧ You scare me. ✧ You intimidate me. ✧ I hope I intimidate you. ✧ I pity you. ✧ You disgust me. ✧ I hate you. ✧ I’m indifferent toward you. ✧ I’d like to get to know you better. ✧ I’d like to spend more time with you. ✧ I’d like to be friends with you. ✧ I’m unsure what to think of you. ✧ I’m unsure how I feel about you. ✧ You are my friend? ✧ You are my best friend. ✧ You are my mentor. ✧ I look up to you. ✧ I respect you. ✧ You are my hero. ✧ You inspire me. ✧ You are my enemy. ✧ You make me happy. ✧ I want to protect you. ✧ I would fight by your side. ✧ I consider you an equal. ✧ I think you are beneath me. ✧ I think you are above me. ✧ I would lie for you. ✧ I would lie to you. ✧ I would sleep with you. ✧ I would sleep by your side. ✧ I would hug you. ✧ I would kiss you. ✧ You are family to me. ✧ I would die for you. ✧ I would kill for you. ✧ I would trust you with my life. ✧ I would trust you with my most precious belonging. ✧ I would trust you with a secret. ✧ I would trust you with my biggest / darkest secret. ✧ I love you (platonically). ✧ I love you (romantically).

#boazshol #listen the hurting is only #if it comes down to it #also don't @ tahir for being willing to sleep w #but not kiss #he's a whole mess ok #but i rly like these two i think they're fun =w=#even if tahir is the worst excuse for a jedi boaz could hope to meet #cal #answers

violentwavesofemotion-deactivat

“Half-sun, half, wine-dark. Wild to be understood.”

— Marya Zaturenska, from The Collected Poems; “The Casket of Pandora,”

#musing #words

— QUESTIONABLE LOYALTIES ( Tahir/Itri | Rishi | 3954 ) ( content warning: substance abuse ) @itriironfist

A veritable pub crawl of the scummiest planets in the galaxy, that’s what Tahir’s hunt has become. Not that he’s complaining-- it’s in his best interests to drag this particular journey out for as long as possible, as he’s not sure what he’ll find at the end. Not someone that will easily allow him to stab them in the back again, he’s sure.

The memories haven’t been this loud in years, though, and Tahir is coping one of the only ways he knows how. Alcohol. Abundant in this pirate’s port-- not a place one easily gains access to, but Tahir has connections that he didn’t in his youth. Connections that have connections, at any rate. The creaking of wooden platforms above his head interrupts Tahir’s train of thought as he wanders out of a cantina and into the bleary sunlight. Rishi is humid, and hot— an entirely different kind of heat from the desert. Tropical. It’s turned Tahir’s cloak into a prison.

So, it must be heat stroke and drunkenness, then. When he spots a face that won’t stop tickling at the back of his mind, begging him to locate it. Someone he’d seen but never known very well-- a face passing in the halls... Of Coruscant.

Tahir whips around as he realizes, trying to track where his eyes had been. If there was a Jedi in this place... But, no-- he finds the face again, and that can’t be a Jedi, not anymore. He fits in too well with the pirates, holding himself in such a way that no one could question his belonging. Well, Tahir’s in just the right mood to question.

“Do I know you?” He asks by way of announcing himself as he sidles his way up to the Force user’s side.

#have a sloppy mess #as in tahir #i mean i know the starter is kind of a mess too but #itriironfist #3954 #rishi #questionable loyalties #ghost #siderealitri

-- Prompt 01: Questionnaire

(content warning for: violence, substance abuse, suicidal thoughts, self harm........ maybe don’t read this actually he’s a mess)

01. Tell us about your character’s name. Was it given to them or chosen? Does it hold any special meaning? If your character has aliases or nicknames, how did they get them and what do they mean?

Tahir was named by his mother, on Denon. He doesn’t have any memory of what it might mean, but suspects that it’s something unfavorable (he’s wrong).

He doesn’t have any official aliases because whenever he’s on the run he just refuses to tell people his name... He might have to develop one in the future, though, if ‘on the run’ ever becomes a permanent status.

The Master he’s serving at the moment has a ton of annoying nicknames for him that if anyone else tried to use he’d have to fight them. She only gets away with it cause he’s terrified.

#sidereal prompt 01 #2 #3 #4 #5 #prompt #musing

xshayarsha

How much can you change and get away with it, before you turn into someone else, before it’s some kind of murder?

Richard Siken, Portrait of Fryderyk in Shifting Light, from War of the Foxes. (via xshayarsha)

#words #musing

assyrianjalebi

#vis #musing

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a lonely death