Where Am I

[wtfisgoingonews]

Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-

[justsomeantifas]

“Well, it’s not so much the last bite, maybe but it kind of last, a last meal. Well, it’s a meal that will trigger all the right… I meant all the left people.

Okay, you ready? Are you really prepared for this? Okay. A warning, here it is, the ultimate trigger sculpture, kind of culinary sculpture, it has everything that Democrats hate. Steak, plastic straws, and light bulbs. And if I could have put an SUV on this I would have. Okay?

Can you sip a steak? Mmm. Tastes good, it’s kind of a vapors of the steak.”

You know… “NEWS”

[breastforce]

[jenniferdiazisatransgirl]

What is wrong with Republicans?

[jules-morales]

I thought this was an onion article but it’s real

[chongoblog]

If I’ve learned anything from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, it’s that it is the one show where quotes are more normal and sane out of context than in context.

[chongoblog]

The “Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time?” quote is bookended by Charlie violently spewing blood on a date

[chongoblog]

“And whats the context of THAT?”

Oh dont worry it’s fake blood. Charlie just swallowed way too many fake blood capsules. You see, he’s pretending to be a Texas millionaire.

[vapingbaby]

[dragaszagom]

[aviculor]

[snow-white-shadow]

[studentlifeproblems]

[babyanimalgifs]

I’ve never seen a puppy pranking his nosey siblings 

(Source)

[rubythecrimsonwriter]

I think the funniest story I have of Lowe's is when I was doing returns. I can't remember what this contractor was returning but it was either awkward or heavy (or both) so I was helping him get it off or out of his cart. He's got his phone pinned between his face and his shoulder and he's arguing with someone, either another contractor or the person he's contracted to, something about windows, so he's fairly distracted, right?

Our hands wound up brushing and all of a sudden I've got his undivided attention and he just blurts out, "oh fuck your hands are soft!" And then looks like he wishes he could shove those words right back into his mouth, and before I can even scramble to come up with a response, his face twisted into like a very deadpan mocking face and he said, "does it SOUND like I'm talking to you? Are we within hands touching distance? Oh God I hope so, so you can feel how soft THESE hands aren't."

[scottishtwitter]

[xoperidottea]

Translation: I told this girl sent next to me on the bus that her guide dog was cute and she said "Aw I wouldn't know" and I choked on my coffee

😂😂

[happyhumannoises2]

I think this is the first one of these that i literally couldn't understand a damn thing written

[cedarspiced]

someone put a mothman in their window and now there's a crowd of ppl outside the dorms staring up at him and chanting mothman. i love college

[the-spoon-fairy]

The angle of this photo implies that OP is part of the aforementioned crowd.

[cedarspiced]

who do you think started the mothman chant

[datsun350]

Can confirm

[tvdinner1]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[awwww-cute]

My mom’s cats, they’re brothers

[princesstigerbelle]

Synchronized catting

[bettsplendens]

This is called mirroring. Cats do this with each other (and humans!) as a way of being social. 

[whitepeopletwitter]

[thenatsdorf]

Perfect (via)

[memewhore]

[yukika-moved-deactivated2022010]

words cannot describe how little cryptocurrency means to me. i'd rather learn about the history of a mechanical pencil.

[satanstorm]

[1000soffreecursors]

thanks cnn