Tracking My Progress to Doing Better

This is a blog to hold myself accountable, so I’ll actually do the things I need to. (Read the pinned post if you’re confused)

[takingit1dayatatime]

Introduction

Hi there!! I’m Mal (fake name), and my pronouns are they/she/it. I am a 20 year old sophomore in college at the moment, and I have ADHD. I take medication for it that kills my appetite, and I’m already not a big eater. I’m having a difficult time making sure I’m eating enough and as a result losing weight. I also have a hard time getting out of my dorm room, meeting people, and making friends. I realized recently that it’s really killing my mental health. I’m sad and bored. Everything feels kinda pointless. I feel unmotivated by everything except the dopamine I get from completing tasks. That little boost usually gets me through long enough to keep up with my assignments, but the procrastination and stress is just making it hard to stay above water (not sure if that makes sense). I’m using this blog because I don’t want to worry my family and friends. They all have other stuff that needs their focus, and while I get that someone worrying about you means they care, it makes me feel like a burden and like I’m failing at simply being independent.

Goals

At the moment, my goals are small: complete one assignment or one part of an assignment a day, eat three meals a day, do one thing for myself a day, and spend at least an hour out of my dorm room a week (going to class does not count).

I’ll be trying to update this daily if not more. If you read this far, WOAH 😧 Here’s a star for you:

Thanks! Have a great rest of your day!! ☺️

(I did include some trigger warning tags, but if anyone wants me to add more PLEASE let me know. I never, ever want my blog to hinder someone else’s recovery from anything. Thanks!)

[takingit1dayatatime]

It’s been awhile, but I’m back.. maybe. Going to have to expand the premise of this blog a bit bc I’m struggling with more than just not eating now.

I’m going to try writing a to-do lists in the evenings for the next day, so here’s tomorrow’s to-do list:

• get up and out of bed before 8

• make bed

• shower

• take my vitamins and meds

• eat breakfast

• do the laundry

• work on my papers

• pack at least 1 box to take home

• eat lunch

• wash the dishes

It’s a lot to do, especially because I have to go home around 2:30 ish but if I get half of it done, I’d be stoked.

[takingit1dayatatime]

Today was a BIG step yall…

I ate 3 palm sized waffles. In the cafeteria. Alone. I hated every second of it, but I’m pretty proud of myself for doing it.

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I had a hot pocket and an orange cup for lunch.. we're not gonna mention that I'm eating lunch at almost 5

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Ate a breakfast hot pocket this morning

I couldn’t finish it tho.. :(

But it’s progress

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Sooooo

I didn’t do a 3rd assignment

But for dinner I had a sandwich (ham, cheese, and pickles on three Hawaiian sweet rolls)

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Lunch was a chicken bacon ranch hot pocket, a mandarin fruit cup, and a bag of Cheetos puffs (that I’m eating as I type this).

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I got 2 assignments done and I’m planning to do a third after lunch

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With the desk cleared, I can eat breakfast. I made oatmeal.

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It was okay oatmeal.

[takingit1dayatatime]

With the desk cleared, I can eat breakfast. I made oatmeal.

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I was going to start today by eating breakfast… but there was enough room on my desk

(Ik it’s gross, but I’m trying.. also the q-tips are clean. I didn’t want to keep getting up to get them the other day, so I just sat a handful on the desk.)

So plans changed! I had to clear my desk off first. I threw out all the trash first.

It’s looking better. I rinsed the water bottles (bc we recycle on this blog [and I used flavor packets in them]).

I’ll admit it now: I’m not washing the cup and the lid. My stomach feels like it’s devoid of sustenance and I just want to be able to eat.. so dishes are for future me to put off do!!

Then I had to put away the vapo rub, my nail polish, and sadly my infinite cube (I miss it already).

AND ITS DONE!

Ik you can’t see it, but I even changed the desk calendar to February

[takingit1dayatatime]

Today, I’m trying something different. I’m going to do small posts throughout the day as I get stuff done. I think it’ll give me a little break so I can refocus.

Like rn, I just got out of bed. I didn’t want to. My body was screaming to stay under the warm fuzzy blanket. BUT I GOT UP. And honestly I’m kinda proud.. it’s stupid ik, but some days I lay in my bed until a half hour before class (if I have class that day. On weekends I just kinda lay there on my phone until 10 or 11 then just do nothing).

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I forgot to post yesterday..

I ate 3 meals. And that’s abt it. I kept telling myself ‘I’ll do something productive right after this video/song/Tumblr post’ and just couldn’t..

I guess I added to a fanfic I’m writing? But it was 2 ish words when I was rereading it to see if j could find a way to close the chapter I’m on. I didn’t. I just added some stuff to make it easier to visualize.

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I’m going to try to track what I’m eating, so I don’t just.. lie abt eating 3x a day. So, uh, yeah.. 👍 I’ll probably add to these as I eat each meal and post them after dinner.

These posts will probably feel a bit like journal entries or vlogs as text so apologies if they’re boring :p

Breakfast

For breakfast I had a bacon, egg, and cheese hot pocket (highly recommend bc I don’t really like cheesy eggs, but I really like these. They’re not healthy but they’re quick and better than nothing)

Lunch

It’s a bit late for lunch (3:30 pm ish), but I need to eat something. I’m not hungry tho so I’m gonna have a cup of ramen.

Dinner

So on my campus, we have a place where you can order food ahead of time. I placed an order for a sandwich with ham, lettuce, and onions, a bag of potato chips, and a sweet tea. I also had a popsicle (pineapple flavored for those who wanna know)

Assignments

I completed two assignments today, but my professor said he wants them for Tuesday, so I’m planning to add to them bc I was rushing and I’m not happy with them. But, I’m counting them bc I did them.

The Thing I Did For Myself

I didn’t do a thing for myself today.. I was just tired and didn’t feel up to it. I’m still happy with everything else I did today tho