fuck being good

✗✗✗ you see [ taliah vause ] around lately? yeah i heard that the [ cis woman ] is up to no good. [ she ] has been here for [ one week ] now but they’re still pretty [ manipulative ] which is fine because they’re also [ street smart ] so it balances out. the [ thirty eight ] year old [ drug smuggler ] actually looks like a lot like [ jaimie alexander ], don’t you think? it’s best to watch out, though, because it’s been said that they’re really into [ knife play & gambling ].

[taliahvause]

sadiemarieremington​:

She was at a party. That much she could discern by the music playing at the food and liquor everywhere and the fact that she was sitting with her back against a couch upon which two occupants were dry humping. Sadie must have had some form of drug at some point in the evening because the world was wavy and multicolored and there was a delightful buzzing in her fingertips. Someone comes to sit beside her, a plate of food on the table, and Sadie suddenly feels so hungry like she could eat several buffets. “Oh my god what is that, where did you get that. That does not look like typical hastily poured from a bag party snacks.”

@indulgencerpgstarters​

Parties had never really been her thing, but being new to an area like this it was really the only way of getting to know people. She needed to start getting to know some more people, because, well, she needed some work. Needed something to do with her days so that she wouldn’t slip up, wouldn’t fall victim to a bordom relapse. But, the loud music, the sweaty people, the straight men thinking it was really hot to try and stick their dick in anything still breathing... So, she’d been sat watching everything from a corner until she had a notifcation that her DoorDash had arrived. Like fuck was she going to eat off the kitchen counters where anyone could have drugged up the cheese and pineapple on a stick. When she came back inside from picking it up, her seat had been taken-- of course. With a sigh, she spotted a free spot in the back of the room behind the couch and so she dropped down next to someone she would have been sure was disassociating until she spoke. “Oh-- you are in the room,” she commented before chuckling slightly. “DoorDash. The only way to get through a party like this sober is the saving grace of great fucking pizza...” Vause glanced over the company and then pointed to the box. “Help yourself, kid.”.

[taliahvause]

rileyxvause​:

ever since that night, riley hadn’t felt like herself. she felt like a ghost in a hallow shell. every thing she did felt like someone else was pulling the strings that tethered her to the ground. sure, riley has seen death before. you have to when you’re a surgeon. no one was free of that reality in the medical field. but that was sterile and clinical. losing a patient was nothing like taking a life in a chaotic, purge like carnival. nothing could have prepared her for that. and vause. god vause did more. having to kill four people? riley still couldn’t wrap her head around the things they did together. all she wanted was to hook up in the tunnel of love. the last thing she expected was for the both of them to walk out murderers. riley wasn’t a fighter, she may be a sassy brat at times, but she didn’t fight. not like vause. yet when they were both pinned down by people, riley’s instincts took over. she knew exactly where to hit the person to cut off their air flow and take them down. but god, it was a lot to handle after reality set in. she hadn’t been sleeping much. she knew vause was also struggling but she didn’t know how to help her when she couldn’t even help herself. so nights like this, when the memories were too strong and they kept her awake at night, she would slip out of bed and make her way to the kitchen. vodka has become a beat friend to her in recent years. she was sitting on the kitchen floor, wearing nothing but a large t-shirt and a pair of boxers, an almost empty bottle in her hand. tears were rolling down her cheeks but there was no sound coming from the young woman. it wasn’t until vause came to find her, calling out for her, that riley looked up for. her shaking hands. her eyes landing on her wife with a makeshift flamethrower in her hands. “yes?” she asked as if nothing unusual was happening.

Vause's heart broke as she saw her wife crying on the kitchen floor, turning to a bottle of vodka rather than waking her up. She couldn't blame her though, over the past few years she hadn't had that option. She had done what she needed to do to get by, and Vause was the last person to judge anyone. But, she was back now and she needed her wife to know that she was here, for her. She gently sighed, scooting a little closer but not too close. "It's okay, baby..." She said quietly, hold her hands out just a little, almost like she was showing that she had nothing in them. "Hey... I'm here... I'm right here with you, Riley, honey," Vause spoke slowly, softly, in a way that no-one other than Riley would ever believe she could speak like. "Can I put my arms around you? Please?" She asked with a sad smile.

[taliahvause]

mcsonhuntington​:

Its as if he could feel her distressed stupor, so when she asked for what he had, he wanted to test it out for a bit. “Well, what do you need? I’ve got weed - legal of course–” not that it mattered “- But i’ve got cbd for those that don’t like smoking.” and there was the heroin he was willing to sell as long as she was willing to not OD off of. “What are you in the mood for?”

Weed. Fuck, that shit didn’t even create a buzz back in those days. But then, she hadn’t done the stuff in years, maybe it wouldn’t hurt. It was just weed, right? Even Riley had smoked it with her at one point. It wasn’t like it was going to gateway her back onto the harder shit. “I ain’t got an issue with smokin’,” she replied, New Yorker accent still thick. “Fuck it-- you got some stronger, maybe not so legal strains?” 

[taliahvause]

dahliarxmano​:

–

Losing her inhibitions with alcohol has always been such a norm that Dahlia refuses to do anything about it. There’s no denying that it helps her forget about things she doesn’t want to think about and when they do resurface, the only solution would be drowning it out with even more liquor. It’s a problem she has yet to find an alternative to but one day she’ll no longer have thoughts of him and it’ll figure itself out at that point.

Declining the offer of a cigarette, Dahlia purses her lips in thought, actually trying to focus on her words. “Okay but if you put a gun against fists,” she starts. “Gun wins out. Same goes for knives. Someone chucks one at you and the pointy part lands? Done for.”

Dahlia struggles in keeping herself upright just for a moment before the world stops spinning and she’s able to actually put some brain power on her legs. Nodding at the stranger, she tries to recall the only diner she’s actually been to. 

“Sal’s! We can go to Sal’s! They have the best pancakes,” and with this Dahlia almost trips over herself as she pulls on the woman. “Come on, it’s not too far from here.”

Vause had been struggling lately, with keeping the sobriety, with people and the noise and the fast paced nature of normal life. It was such an insane adjustment, going from prison life to normal life. Most people didn’t understand just how hard it was, because you could never even hope to understand what prison was like unless you’ve spent more than a month behind the wire. It was another world, entirely different from any kind of soicety outside. Even somewhere like Santa Ysabel, the lawless city, even here was still miles and miles away from the dog eat dog world of incarceration. 

It was the little things to, like how there’s been three new models of iPhone released during her sentence. How there’s a new president, how there are new TV shows to catch up on, and blockbuster movies. It was overwhelming, and really challenging her sobriety. Coming out into the land of the intoxicated was really a shot in the dark, a hope that she’d see these people off their face and realise that that lifestyle just wasn’t for her anymore. But, it did the opposite, as she spoke to this woman she was feeling nothing but jealousy. She didn’t seem to have a care in the world. That’s how Vause wanted to feel.

“The pointy part, huh?” She chuckled. “I mean, it does depend on where it hits you-- I survived quite a few encounters with the pointy parts of knives in my life, honey,” Vause shook her head a little before shrugging her shoulders. “I suppose getting shot my trump getting punched though, I’ll give ya that one...” She says, arms out just a little as the other seems to get all loose on her feet. But, no need to hold her up, she seems to readjust just fine by herself. “Sals it is, lead the way-- what’s your name?” 

[taliahvause]

mcsonhuntington​:

He looked up when the door opened to the shop and smiled at the customer who walked in. After the Halloween events, he knew many would need the release. “I’ve got something stronger in the back, if that’s what you’re looking for.”

She knew she shouldn’t be here. She had been clean for almost three years now, from everything except alcohol, and even that she barely touched anymore. But, after the carnival... After taking lives... Vause just had no fucking idea how to handle it, or how to support her wife who was going through it too. The only thing she knew, was shit had always been a lot easier to deal with when she was high. It was just supposed to be a little weed. To take the edge off. But... “Something stronger?” She asked, swallowing a little. “Yeah? What you got?”

[taliahvause]

yasetekin​:

open loc. sal’s diner - @indulgencerpgstarters​

Yasemin had her pretty smile on as her aunt picked at her food, going off on some rant in Turkish she was late for something. “Gule gule teyze,” She gave a wave as the woman all but ran out of Sals. It was becoming a repetitive thing, she wondered if this was what her mother wanted when she originally sent her here. Once out of sight from the older woman her lips dropped with an eye roll. 

    Turning in her seat to face the person behind her, “Do you know where that smoke shop is? I heard there  was one around here.”

Sal’s was proving to be one of Vause’s vices in this town. It had been so fucking long since she’d had a decent meal, literally years, and now she was fully committed to eating everything she hadn’t been able to behind bars. Like real fucking maple bacon pancakes. God, they were good here. Turns out, everyone in town loved it here because the place was packed this morning. People probably comfort eating following the carnival; hell knows she was. So, she sat up on the bar with another couple who were speaking in... Turkish? She wasn’t great with language, but she was sure that’s what it was. Then, one of them ran out and just as she was finishing her breakfast, the other turned and asked. “Oh--” she coughed a little, wiping the corner of her lips with a napkin before chucking it down onto the plate. “Well, no. I’m new to town, but fuck, after this weekend I feel like I should probably find out. You have any idea where it could be?” 

[taliahvause]

rylanxmoore​:

“Look, if you wanted some easy lay, i’m really not the one you should be talking to.” Rylan said as she kept her eyes on her beer bottle. She hated being here, but it was the only bar in town that didn’t remind her of everything that she had been losing, as well as the shit that had happened halloween night. The shit show that left the whole town scared and a lot of people dead. However, there was a very annoying patron that wouldn’t leave her alone. “I’m serious, either get lost or it’s not going to end well for you.”

@indulgencerpgstarters​

Vause had broken away from the bar to go and use the restroom, the coffee she had had went right through her. Probably because her body was realling calling for something a hell of a lot stronger than caffine right now. It was no surprise, given the circumstances of the past few days and the carnival, that there were more people than usual out getting shit-faced. She was trying not to be one of them, trying to stay sober and clean. But, fuck it was hard at the moment. Riley was working late, and being cooped up at home was counterproductive so she had gone wandering and landed herself in this bar. Anyway, coming out from the restroom she caught the tail end of what the guy said and immedately put herself between the two because she clearly didn’t want his company. “How about you try one more fucking line and see how that empty martini glass feels cracking across your jaw, mate?” She spat, squaring up to the guy who squared up back for a second. But, then Vause just straight up headbutted the dude and he ran off with his head in his hands. “Fucking men.”. 

[taliahvause]

The rain hammered against the windows, the sound of it ricocheting off the furniture on the balcony echoing through the room. It seemed fitting that it had rained pretty much every night since the carnival. Vause had been keeping a close eye on Riley since that night, since she killed someone. She was struggling with the fact that she did as well, before now her only involvement with crime was cleaning up other people’s mess. It was easy to detach from that. It wasn’t easy to detach from being the person who made the mess. In fact, she was dealing with one of the consequences right now. Vause wasn’t new to nightmares, she has had them her whole life but these were so vivid. Like flashbacks. Except worse. Except it wasn’t a stranger she was pushing the knife into, it was Riley. With a gasp, Vause bolted upright, a thin membrane of sweat coating her forehead and she looked around the room and caught her breath, realising again it was just a bad dream. Fuck. They were getting more frequent, more vivid. She swallowed thickly, shaking hands wiping down her face before she turned and... Where the fuck was Riley? Vause jumped out of bed, her heart began thudding against her ribcage thinking the worst. What if she left. What if she was taken. What if someone was in here? Paranoid; but she had been that way since getting out of prison. You had to be paranoid in prison, else you’d be taken for a mug and you’d never survive. She grabbed a deodorant spray and her lighter, neither a decent weapon on their own but together they made a pretty good flamethrower. “Baby?” She called out quietly as she glanced into the empty bathroom before looking in the spare bedroom and then heading downstairs. She could see a small light inside the kitchen and she took a deep breath before quickly stepping in, looking around and seeing no one until her eyes dropped and there was Riley on the floor. “Baby?” She breathed out, putting down what was in her hands and coming down to her level.

@rileyxvause​

[taliahvause]

indulgencerpgstarters​:

innocent-xander​:

@indulgencerpgstarters​

Xander had just arrived and he wasn’t sure what to make of this place. He was pretty sure he just saw some random guy casually standing at a bus stop snort something. It was a wild thought that something he had never been within dozens of feet before was now just being abused out in the open. Needless to say, Xan hurried away from the situation as quick as he could. 

A few moments later Xan ducked into a building that looked open and sighed, glad to be away from that situation. He chuckled when he saw someone next to him. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to something like that, huh?” He said nervously. 

Vause was in the post office sending off a few different things to different people. Despite how much they claimed to scan and search parcels, it was crazy how much illegal shit you could get away with posting in the legit US postal service. So long as it wasn’t blatent, it didn’t get stopped. Most people forgot about that old way these days, but if something ain’t broken, why fix it, eh? She had heard a crack of thunder as she was in line, and then realised it was midday and they were probably due a quick storm to clear the air any moment now so instead of doing all her texting and e-mails to confirm shipping whilst she was walking, she stayed in the foyer of the building to cover from the impeading rain.

Oddly, there were a few seats there so she sat down on one and then some guy stumbled in and started speaking to her. Vause’s eyes flicked to him and then in the direction he came, instantly noticing the guy in the bus stop and she knew exactly what he’d just seen without needing to ask. She sighed. “Guy probably has more shit going on in his life right now than you’ll ever experience, kid. Don’t be so quick to judge.”.

[taliahvause]

ftgab​:

Gabrielle might have only been in Santa Ysabel for three months but she knew even before she’d made the plunge to move here what kind of area this was. She’d heard the rumours, seen the stories. So, really it shouldn’t be that much of a shock to her that this had happened. It didn’t make it suck any less though. She let out a despondent sigh as she looked at the gaping hole where her car window used to be. ‘My poor car.’ And her poor wallet. ‘Why would anyone even break my car’s window? I don’t have anything of value in there.’

@indulgencerpgstarters​

Vause was spending some time getting to grips with a new city, with Riley in appointments all afternoon she was really in no rush. Just aimlessly wandering. Wasn’t there a saying about the only way to get ‘found’ was to get lost in the first place? That all seemed a little too deep for Vause, but, hey, perhaps getting lost in this city was the best way to find out all the quirky little cut throughs and shortcuts. She was actually just coming out of an alleyway cut through when she heard someone... Speaking to their car? She couldn’t judge. Though, as her eyes caught the huge hole in the window she understood. “This town is full of little fuckers, huh?” She said lightly as she approached. “Though, can’t say I get why they chose to send that brick through your window when that beauty is parked across the road,” she nodded up the street to where a Porshe 911 was parked up. Shrugging, Vause’s hands went into her pockets. “Hey, just be thankful they ain’t taken it for a joyride and torched it, kid. Hell knows that’s the type of shit I’d of done back in my youth years,” she joked lightly.

[taliahvause]

rileyxvause​:

after so long of being alone and waiting for the day that her wife walked through the doors, the day was finally here and riley was thrilled. they had so much catching up to do. riley could only satisfy herself so much alone, and nothing was as good as the things vause could do to her. she wanted to show her wife that despite everything over the past two years, nothing has changed with them. she is was vause’s always and forever. not matter how much time had passed, that was never going to change. a small moan slips into the kiss at the three words that meant the world to riley. “and you’re mine,” she replied as vause took her shirt off and admired her. when they first got together, riley was so timid and uncomfortable with herself. but now, there was nothing she loves more than watching vause’s eyes taking her all in. she wanted nothing more than to have vause make up for all the lost time. hell, she’d cancel all of her appointments in the morning to not have to leave their bed. a shiver ran up riley’s body as her wife’s hands trailed across her skin. and next thing she knew, she was flipped and down on her back. her hands went for vause’s hair, tangling through it. “why can’t we do both?” riley sighed, pressing her hips against vause. “you have no clue how much i’ve missed you.”

She didn’t know what she did right for the universe to, for once, go in her favour. Being released early was the exact opposite of what she had expected considering her luck over the past few years inside. She half expected to be gate arrested, and slapped with even more federal charges and put away again. Even on the plane she was expecting to get off at LA and be put straight into cuffs. Even on the bus down to Santa Ysabel, she was waiting for it to pull over and armed officers to storm on and get her. Even opening the door... She hoped that wouldn’t last too long. But, right now, she couldn’t even think about any of those worries. All she was focused on was Riley; her wife. The love of her life, and the calm to her storm. “I love you...” She says it again, because lord knows she hasn’t been able to say enough. Riley’s body shivered, and it brought an exhale from the ex-con. “Oh, we’re gonna do so much more than both, baby...” Vause murmured back, coming up just to look at her for a minute, blindsighted with love as her hands feely roamed her body. Then she bends down and kisses her stomach, trailing kisses down to the waistband of her pants and then back up, hands gliding up and over her tits as her mouth passed them and went to her neck. Vause moaned softly as she adorned her wifes neck with lovebites, hips rolling down to pin Riley’s against the bed as she presses them up against her. “You have no clue how much I’ve longed for this moment...” She whispers in her ear as her hands leave her breasts and slide down to her pants, undoing them with ease.

[dailydeanoru]

[taliahvause]

dahliarxmano​:

–

Dahlia’s lack of rational thinking comes evidenced in the form of her nodding her head at the stranger’s question. “Yes. Not serial killer, per se, but someone who can definitely do a shank and go.” Her words come out faster than she intends and she’s pretty sure it comes off as a ramble of some drunk woman. It’s fine; the embarrassment is to be felt by future Dahlia, anyway.

At the offer of a hand, she takes it with no hesitation, pulling herself up to a standing position and making sure that she doesn’t fall onto the woman. “Food. Yes. Food. Do you know a place that’s still open around here? I’m craving everything.” Something to ease the liquor that slices through her stomach would work. 

Vause’s head tilted as a smirk appeared on her features when the woman responded in a much more susinct manner that she’d anticipated to expect. “So you’re not blackout, total loss of rationality drunk, good to know,” she chuckled as her hand delved into her leather jacket pocket and produced a carton of cigarettes. “Smoke?” She offered as she placed one between her lips and then quickly lit it. “With the shank thing though, not really my style. Weapons are cheating in my opinion. If you ain’t prepared to solve an issue with your fists, you ain’t fired up enough about it.”. Vause shrugged, cloud of smoke puffing out. She helps the stranger to her feet, giving her a little reassuring tap on the shoulders when she managed it without falling face first into her chest, or rather onto the floor before Vause would not have made the effort to catch her. 

“’m new to town, but this place seems to never sleep. I’m sure there’s some dive bar selling snacks still open or a diner some place near. I’ll join you-- be good to get to know a late night food place. Or, well, early morning.”.

[taliahvause]

rileyxvause​:

there were times when riley and vause first got together that people didn’t understand why they were dating. so many people told riley that she couldn’t change her, that she wasn’t gay enough to be with vause and that she should go back to men. but riley didn’t listen to them, she didn’t care what anyone had to say about their relationship. she loved vause and surprisingly, vause loved her too. she didn’t want to change her, she just wanted to be with her. no matter how many fights she had with her parents or how many times she cried over them, vause was always there by her side. and she was worth it, she was worth everything. and here they were, years later, happily married and riley wouldn’t change a second of it. well besides that vause ended up back in prison. those two years apart were hard, but she never stopped loving her. she couldn’t even imagine her life without her wife. she was loyal and committed and counted down the days until she could be in her arms again. 

sure, she wished vause could have left her old life completely. but she understood that she couldn’t. there was a time when vause left the life and was on the straight path. but then her mother passed away and riley watched as her wife fell apart again. slowly she started going back to her criminal past and while riley didn’t like it, she wasn’t going to hold her wife back. plus there was a weird part of her that gets turned on by hearing about the things her wife was doing. they always had a healthy sex life, but nothing made riley want to jump vause more than after she finished a dangerous job. she didn’t care about how or why vause was released early, all she cared about was that she was here now and riley was never going to let her go. she let out a laugh at vause’s words, she was completely elated to have her home finally. “i don’t care the reason, i’m happy you’re home,” she replied as vause’s lips moved down her jaw and neck. moving upstairs to the bedroom, riley was nearly buzzing with excitement. “mm, you have a lot of catching up to do. two years was far too long,” she mumbled as they reconnected on the bed, riley taking her place on vause’s lap. 

As she pulled Riley closer onto her, sitting them down on the bed, it was like those two years had simultaneously flown by and lasted an eternity. Just the feel of her skin, the smell of her, the way she breathed, the way the light caught her eyes... Riley was her home. She was thousands of miles away from Harlem, but she was home. “I love you..” She mutters into the kiss, those three words that she hasn’t been able to say anywhere near enough over the past 2 years. Vause was stuck between wanting to take her wife with all the passion and intensity that had built up, and wanting to savor every last fucking moment of this. “You’re my home, baby...” Vause leans back, locking eyes with her wife as she lifts her top up and off and then tucks her hair behind her ears with a smile. “And you didn’t leave my mind once.”. Vause unclipped her bra and let it fall to the ground, eyes dropping down and taking in every last inch of her perfect body for a moment. She had to take a deep breath to compose herself, hands teasing up her sides and then coming onto her chest, thumbs just briefly gliding across her nipples. Then, with a sudden movement, they grabbed hold of her hips and she changed their position, throwing Riley down onto the bed and crawling in between her legs, wrapping them around her waist with a smirk. “I just can’t decide if I want to fuck you like I need to show you how much I missed you, or take in every last inch of you for hours and hours....” 

[taliahvause]

730 Days? | Self Paragraph

DAY ONE

“How was your journey here? Did the escorting staff treat you good?” There was supposed to be some kind of empathy in the tone of the Officer, but they had been on shift since 7am and it was now almost 10pm. Vause just nodded, she understood what it was like to be tired. She felt exhausted herself. After spending hours crammed in what can only be described as a mobile metal casket travelling from Manhatten to the federal prison on the edge of the state line, all she wanted was to knock out. To forget she was even back in this shit hole. “Sign here, here, and here. Then we’ll get you in to the nurse, get you some clothes and down to the wing--” 

“She knows the drill.” Another, older Officer pitched in, making Vause look up from the paperwork. 

“How are you not retired yet, Hunt?” 

“Yoga. Keeps the mind, body, and soul young, Vause. You should give it a try.”. 

She scoffed, rolled her eyes and then scribbled her name on the last dotted line. She saw the doctor. Traded in her stuff for orange. Then glanced around the reception area, the one she won’t see again for 2 years. 24 months. 730 days... It was only 730 days. 

DAY SEVEN

Honey Brown. 1h. 6 s, 2 c. 23a. The note was stuffed in her pocket from the laundry workers and Vause sat down on her bed, holding it with both hands and staring at the writing. It had been seven days, seven days of those ringing fucking alarms, of torches shining through the glass waking her up every other goddamn hour. Just one hit, just to sleep for a night properly. She looked up and across at the picture on the wall. The one of her wife and her jaw tensed as she crushed the piece of paper in her fist. Then she glanced at the calander. 723 days. 

DAY THIRTY ONE

“Are you fucking kidding me?! I’m not moving!” Vause protested, shaking her head as she backed into the corner of her cell. “You can’t move me onto B wing, that’s Brooklyn fucking territory, you KNOW what they’ll do to a Harlem girl, come on!” She yelled as the Officer’s, padded up in full riot gear spilled into her cell. “Fine!” Vause pushed her sleeves up. “You want a fucking fight, assholes? Let’s go!” She screamed, running at the shield and rolling over the top of it, kicking one guard in the face and headbutting another as she landed between all of them. Fists flew, connecting with whatever they could until there was a winding thud in her back and all the air was forced out of her lungs as she was sandwiched up against the wall by the shielded screw. 

“Take her down to the fucking block.”.

The bang of the cell door closing was the start of the silence, of a seven day stretch with nothing but a metal bed frame, a shitty pillow and these four walls. 699 days.

DAY FIFTY THREE 

The segregation was tough, but it was over and it did its job. She didn’t get moved to B, instead she went to F wing with the rest of the Harlem lot. She’d made a few connections, a few... Friends... Though, she didn’t trust anyone. She knew from past experience that this place was a dog eat dog world. Everyone was out for themselves. The moment you get in someone’s way, or you become a burden to them you become nothing. “Eh, Vause, you’re on the visitation list you know,” one of those tender connections strolled into her cell. 

“What? No I’m not, it’s too far out for my wife to come. Don’t fuck with me man, I’ll roll your head off,” she threatened loosely with a suck of her lips and a shake of her head. 

“Nah, nah, man, you on there, go check it-- thousand sticks, V.” That was a bit of saying around the wind. Thousand sticks, meaning an a thousand cigarette bet. Vause’s eyebrow raised and, with a heavy sigh, she rolled off the top bunk, throwing the rubber band ball back up onto it and walked out the cell to the notice board. 

“Well shit...” For the first time in fifty three days, Vause smiled. This created quite the rally of cheers from her ‘friends’, who jokingly pushed her around a little in front of the board. “Fuck off everyone,” she groaned though the little smile on her face made it hard to take it seriously. 

Later that day, walking through those doors and seeing her wife’s face for the first time in months, despite it being through bulletproof glass, her heart skipped a beat. Then it sunk, though she hid that part because this was hard enough already. But, 677 days seemed like a lifetime. 

DAY ONE HUNDRED AND SEVEN 

Her head hung over the letter. She noticed the little things in it that weren’t words. The way some of the letters were uncharacteristically slanted. The few red droplets at the bottom of the letter. It was the first of two birthday letters she was going to recieve in these cold four walls, and she could tell Riley had been drinking when she wrote it. Vause gasped for a breath of air when she realized she hadn’t taken one in a while as a few of her tears joined those small red marks at the bottom of the page. “I’m sorry...” She whispers as her knees come up into her chest and she hugs the letter into her chest, falling back against the wall. 623 days...

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND EIGHTY NINE

“What do you mean ‘what is this’?! I ain’t ever seen that shit in my life!” Vause argued, hands in the air as the searching Officers stood before her asking where she had got the mobile phone from that they had just found in her pillow. “Unlock it, I won’t know any of the contacts in there. It’s not mine.” She wasn’t even lying, but of course they didn’t believe that. 

“What so someone just put a mobile phone into your pillow?” 

“There’s weirder fucking shit happening in this shithole!” Vause snapped back as she felt her breathing get heavier and heavier with anger as she thought about who the fuck had set her up. Was it the women that had tried to bring her into the drug ring that she turned down? Was it one of the women who wanted her to be their prison wife that she’d told to go fuck a cactus? Was it a fucking Officer? 

“You know phone finds mean two weeks in the block, Vause.” 

“IT’S NOT MINE! I CAN’T GO TO THE FUCKING BLOCK. C’MON, DANIELS, YOU KNOW I ADMIT TO SHIT WHEN I GET CAUGHT-- THIS AIN’T MINE! I HAVE A VISIT ON FRIDAY, IT’S MY ANNIVERSARY, I’M NOT MISSING IT!” She punched the wall, and instantly regretted doing that as she felt her knuckles crack. “FUCK!” One of the Officers grabbed onto her arm and she instantly tensed up and pushed him away from her. “FUCK. OFF. Don’t fucking grab me! I’ll fucking walk!” She spat, looking between them both before kicking the chair across the room causing it to smash and break against the far wall before storming out of the cell. Anything that wasn’t bolted to the ground on route from her cell to the segregation block was kicked or thrown in rage. “WHOEVER SET ME UP, I’M HAVING YOUR FUCKING HEADS!” She yelled out as she was escorted off the wing and down the stairs.

Once again, the heavy cell door slammed shut and once again she was left with nothing but the knowledge that there was only 441 days left... Only.

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND NINETY THREE

She had fallen onto her knees in front of the steel door, hands balled into fists pressing against the cold metal. Her cheeks were lined with streams of tears, head hanging as she thought about Riley sat in the visitation booth waiting for her. She had been screaming for them to let her out, to let her go, that she’d do anything, for the past four hours. The visit session would have been well over by now. It was their anniversary, the first one they’d not seen each other one and she felt like someone was ripping her heart out. Her body violently shook as she thought about who the fuck planted that phone, her nails digging into her palms and drawing blood. She couldn’t even write to Riley to tell her not to come. She couldn’t even warn her... What if it was an asshole Officer up there? What did they tell her?

I’m sorry... I’m sorry... 

437 days.

DAY THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN

Vause was still shaking as she stood in the shower and watched the water mix with the blood that washed off from her knuckles. She focused on controlling her breathing, her teeth gritted together as she scrubbed the marks and evidence off her body. It had taken her no more than three days out of confinement to figure out who had planted the phone in her cell, and under the cover of most of the wing being out on the yard, she had paid them a visit and left them in a ball on their cells floor with a bloody face and a few cracked ribs. If it wasn’t for the one person she actually trusted being on lookout and seeing her start to loose control, and so intervening and pulling her away, she probably would have killed her. She made her miss her anniversary. She was lucky to still be alive. Vause stepped out of the shower, dried off, and pulled her clothes back on before wrapping her knuckles in toilet paper and then putting gloves on. Luckily, the prison was fucking freezing and it was the middle of October. It wasn’t exactly suspect to be walking around in a coat and gloves; in fact it was more suspect to not be. She wondered whether the guards knew anyway, whether they supported what she did, because she was never so much as questioned about what happened to that woman... Perhaps her luck was turning. It was about time. 415 days...

DAY FOUR HUNDRED

“Congrats, Vause. You’re going up a level, pack your stuff, you’re shipping out to inner state,” the Officer switched her light on and Vause initally groaned before registering what he had said, bolting up on the bed. 

“Wait-- I’m going back to the city?” 

“Yep. Good behaviour lessened your security level, you get to move on and we get a bigger asshole in to take your spot. They don’t know how easy they got it in state,” he rolled his eyes as he threw a few bags onto her bed. “C’mon, transport goes in an hour... Unless you’d stay, of course.”

“Yeah, fuck that,” Vause scoffed, throwing the covers back and jumping straight up onto her feet. “I’ll be ready in ten-- wait, my wife is--”

“Already told you’ve moved. Ten it is. Better get packing.”. 

She was going back to the city. Closer to her wife. Less restrictions. No glass between them at visits... Vause smiled. 330 days wasn’t sounding so bad... And they weren’t, until...

DAY SIX HUNDRED AND TEN

Leaving surgery behind... Switching to therapy... Moving away from the city. Vause’s head was spinning as she paced around her cell, going over everything they had spoken about in the visit. It was something that they had joked about before; running away from NYC the moment she was released, going and hiding away from the world and becoming one with nature. But, when Riley said she had given up her position at the hosptial... When she said she was going to switch to therapy. It just didn’t seem like Vause was in on the full story. She could tell Riley was drinking more than just a nightcap these days, but she didn’t exactly have a leg to stand on in speaking out against it. She was in fucking prison... Everything just seemed so-- out of control. Everything felt like-- she was in the eye of a hurricane. Then a note slid underneath her door. Cocoa puff bowl. 20stick. 2-12. Her breath caught in the back of her throat. That would make her stop pacing. Stop overthinking this. She was almost out, anyway, right? She was almost done. There was only... 120 days.

DAY SIX HUNDRED AND FIFTY TWO

She must have been convincing when she had spoken about Riley moving down to their new town before she was released, because the blonde eventually got on board with it. Vause had come to terms with it all over the past few months, she realised that New York was her home but now it was the place where she would end up either incarcerated for the rest of her life; or dead. They had to get away from the Apple. Clearly, they both needed a fresh start, and if Riley could get away from the city before she could? Vause knew she wasn’t happy here anymore, in New York. Of course, she wanted her to stay so she could keep getting the regular visits but it wasn’t worth it... Vause didn’t want to let go of her today, and she didn’t until the final warning from the Officers. “I love you... Stay safe for me, I’ll stay out of trouble for you, baby...” She wasn’t supposed to, but Vause kissed her wife before reluctantly letting go, hands going in the air as she looked to the Officer with a little smirk. She walked backwards out of the visit hall, eyes staying softly on her wife, taking in every last detail of her features as if it was the first time she was looking at her; or the last... Well, it was the last time for a while. Vause blew Riley a kiss with a smile before finally turning around. It was going to be okay... There was only 78 days left. 2 and a half months. It was going to be okay. 78 days.

DAY SIX HUNDRED AND SIXTY NINE 

“Release day, Vause! Up and at em!” The sudden light made her pupils dilate and the early morning hours and breeze from the door made the statement even more confusing that it already was. She wasn’t due out yet. There was still more time to go. She blinked her vision into focus and saw that it was one of the asshole Officers and she groaned, rolling her eyes and falling back onto her bed. 

“That’s not fucking funny, Georgeman,” she muttered.

“What do you mean funny? You’re getting out, here--” he threw the clipboard at her which made her groan, sigh and sit up. She was going to lose her shit with this guy one of these days. Asshole. Vause pushed on her glasses and froze for a second. He wasn’t fucking around. There was her name, her prison number, and in big red letters RELEASE. 

“Well fuck-- that-- came around quick...” Vause swallowed, playing along, just waiting for the sike to come but then he threw the bags into the room and continued down the corridor to unlock the next release. She scrambled up to her feet and stuck her head out, half expecting him again to be stood out there laughing. But, he wasn’t, he was carrying on with his job... She was-- well, fuck, she was getting out early.

61 days early. 

That was 5 days ago. 

TODAY

Now she was down in Santa Ysabel, she was back with her wife. But it was strange... She still felt like she should be counting down the days. She still heard the sound of boots patrolling and torches switching on and off when she closed her eyes. She was still listening out for alarms. Everyone that passed her on the street a little too close almost got pushed back onto their ass. She had to control herself though. This wasn’t prison anymore. She was free. This was her home now... Riley was her home. It didn’t matter where they were. But, it was hard to readjust... And she couldn’t fucking sleep. Maybe she’ll sleep better in 56 days... When she was supposed to be out... Maybe she’ll stop dreaming about feds kicking down their front door and dragging her away from her wife again then... She can’t lose her again. She won’t.

[taliahvause]

rileyxvause​:

despite everything that came with loving vause, riley wouldn’t change any of it. all the fights with her family, the hard times because of her wife’s past, the troubles with work. she wouldn’t take any of it back. because as long as she could spend the rest of her life in the arms of the woman she loved, none of it mattered. she was so young when the two of them met. it started as a hook up, the first woman riley slept with. and by some higher power, the two of them couldn’t get away from each other. they kept coming back. they were so different yet meshed together so well, like two pieces of a puzzle coming together to make a full and beautiful picture. 

vause didn’t need to tell her twice because riley would always gravitate to vause’s arms. two years of visitations with guards watching them like hawks, separated by glass and speaking through phones. riley couldn’t believe she was actually here. vause picked her up, riley’s legs wrapping around her waist. she never wanted to let her go. “what happened, how are you here?” she mumbled as they kissed. her head spinning with a mix of lust and confusion, but she didn’t want to stop kissing her wife for more than a second. 

There were many moments in their past where Vause would question why Riley stuck around. She wasn’t exactly an easy woman to be with. She was a criminal, a drug user for a time, someone with a significant sexual past, and she wasn’t exactly timid and controlled back then either. When Riley’s parents first found out, and threatened to cut her off from the family name and money, Vause was ready to take the hit. To leave. But, Riley stayed, and she chose her over her family. It was really the first time that she had been specifically chosen over something better. It was the first time in her life that she really felt like she mattered, and that someone actually gave a shit about her. She had tried to help the situation with her family, she’d even written to Riley’s Mom before but... Some people are too stubborn to get through to. But, at least they had each other.

Vause calmed down a lot as they got more and more serious. Though her criminality never really stopped, she started doing less dangerous jobs for the gang, and stopped getting involved in such high liklihood of violence deals. It didn’t keep her out of prison, but it did keep her from going six feet under. She also stopped doing the drugs too, and has been sober for over five years now. Though, there was a few times in prison where she almost cracked. Now Riley was back in her arms, she thanked whoever was in charge that she had the strength to not go back down that road. God, Riley felt so good in her arms. She couldn’t stop breathing her in. “People are idiots...” She breathed into the kiss, turning around and carrying her back up the stairs to the bedroom. “Someone messed up my calculation-- put the wrong date on the forms. Obviously I didn’t say shit when they came to get me for release yesterday morning,” she smirked as her lips left Riley’s and traced along her jawline and then started leaving kisses down her neck. But, she couldn’t stay away from her lips for long. “I missed my fucking wife-- and fucking my wife...” she smirks as she rejoins their lips, sitting down on the bed as she slides her hands up the back of her top.

[taliahvause]

rileyxvause​:

life in santa ysabel had been lonely for riley. with vause still in prison, she didn’t like to be home alone for long. their house was big and nice but far too quiet for just her. so she liked to spend her time else where. either at the office long after her last client had left or at the local bars. today, it was the former. she filler her time catching up on notes and getting things ready for the next day. all boring work, but it was better than sitting at home for yet another boring night. she should be used to it by now, it had been two years since vause had been taken away. 

she had finished everything she could possibly do around the office before finally giving up and deciding it was time to head home for the night. the drive home was filled with thoughts of what sad frozen meal she was going to heat up for herself and if it was going to be a white claw or liquor night for her. she had a few morning appointments, so probably best to not turn to liquor. she opened the door, kicking it closed as she walked in and dropped her keys in the bowl by the door. unaware of the presence coming down the stairs until she heard the cough, riley froze. “babe? i- how- what-?” she couldn’t finish her thoughts as she tried to figure out just how vause was here months early. instead she just ran to her wife, wrapping her arms around her body. her face buried into vause’s neck, taking a deep breath of her scent before pulling away to kiss her. “i missed you so much,” she whispered into the kiss. 

Riley owned the first thought of every day, and the last thought of every night from the moment she was taken away in handcuffs. Those nights that she couldn’t sleep because everything was just too loud, she zoned out the noise and focused on picturing her wife. Vause never imagined she would ever find anything like this. Before Riley, she’d fucked her way through most of the lesbians and bisexuals in New York city, and their were a lot of them. But, Riley was the first and only woman to take her heart and she still didn’t entirely understand why. She also made no effort to fight it.

Seeing her again was like seeing her on their wedding day. Her heart throbbed and the smile on her face felt like it could never disappear, especially when she turned around and that adorable look of surprise lit up behind her eyes. “Come here...” She made a little ‘come hither’ movement with her hands and braced for impact as Riley started running at her. Laughing, as soon as Riley’s arms were around her, Vause lifted her up off the floor and held her tightly, one hand under her ass to hold her up, the other on the back of her head as she breathed in deeply. “Fuck, I missed you,” she murmured before joining their lips in a passionate kiss.