Miss Geenone

[pandaaamonium14]

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[skrillcholas-cage]

oh my god these are great

[princemetalthunder]

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes

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made me laugh 😆

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A note.

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bcos 2016 is just hours away 😊

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the place you'd like to visit also 😍

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👤

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naturally beautiful 😍

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hi bae 😍

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You'd really appreciate "art" more if you visit this place. Chingkeetea forever and ever. 😍

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You can check me here also.

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Capsulization

State of the Nation Address or commonly known as SONA is the annual address of the President and delivered every 4th Monday of July at the Batasang Pambansa. It is a way of the President to inform its countrymen or the nation about the country’s economic, social, and political condition. It is also the President’s way to share his contributions or accomplishments and his plans for the growth and for the betterment of the country.

President Benigno “Noynoy” S. Aquino just delivered his fifth State of the Nation Address last July 28, 2014. It took almost two hours for the President to broadcast his speech. Charts, figures, and videos were provided to aid his accomplishments under his administration. PNoy also recognized the people who contributed so much and lend a hand to accomplish all his projects and programs. 

Some of the highlighted topics in PNoy’s fifth SONA are the following:

Upgrade in investment-grade ratings

Benefits of DAP for the scholars of TESDA

The Expanded Conditional Cash Transfer Program

Poverty rate went down

Tax collections

Recapitalization of the Central Bank of the Philippines

International Civil  Aviation Organization

Budget for Infrastructure

Rehabilitation efforts

AFP modernization

Education

The Philippines was upgraded to investment grade status. This will give the government to borrow funds for projects and programs at a lower interest rates. Investors will be attracted in our country and, with this, there will be more businesses that will open in our country. Then the countrymen will be benefited with this.

DAP has been so controversial after the Supreme Court declared some portions of it as unconstitutional. The executive department defended the DAP through its contribution for the economic growth and insisted that it was done in good faith. However, some critics said that ‘good faith’  doesn’t make the DAP correct. Some of the scholars of TESDA has been interviewed and said that the program helped them to have a work. TESDA’s Training-for-Work Scholarship Program was funded by the DAP. 

Lots of poor people are complaining about their situations. They said that life has been so tough to them and the government should give more attention and help them to abscond to their uncomfortable lives. But according to National Economic Development Authority (NEDA), the poverty rate of the country went down and millions of Filipinos have been lifted out of poverty. 

I won’t be tackling more about the other topics discussed by PNoy in his SONA, for I know that everyone had already watched his broadcasted annual address.

Comments were spilled after PNoy’s fifth SONA. Both positive and negative feedbacks were lashed online and offline. The comments were not only focusing on the speech delivered by PNoy but also to the ones who attended the event. The netizens have different takeaways about the occasion. And I think some of their statements don’t even have anything to do with SONA per se. Some criticized the outfit of the government officials who attended the said event. I don’t think there’s a problem in showcasing their best attires or best dresses. For me, it’s just a way to show their respect to the grand event and also to the President. Do people want the government officials wear a baggy jeans in the event? A t-shirt? Short pants? Mini-skirts? Skorts? or whatever-outfit-there? Senator Binay was bashed due to her unfortunate-outfit-choice. Yeah, her outfit was somewhat like an upside-down hot air balloon. So what? Does it affect the SONA or the economy of the country? I don’t get it why people need to  be mean just to grab an attention in social media or whatever. So absurd, yknow. To the netizens, just promote love instead of hating people.  

Back to President Noynoy’s address. Okay, I’m not an anti nor pro-administration here. PNoy is not a magician that he can turn the lives of his countrymen to a mega-cozy-life in just a single snap. Of course, it will take time to fix everything and to correct all the flaws of the government. I can see the effort of the President for the amelioration of our country. And yes, there are positive and negative sides of its programs and projects. But we know that his only main goal or the core of his term is to help alleviate the country’s problems and to put into effect his promises to the Filipinos. “Hindi na ipapamana pa sa susunod…" This line is referring to his projects. Does this mean that his projects will be accomplished before his term ends or what? This is somewhat implies that his plans should be accomplished before he leaves the position. It makes also sense that he won’t run for the next election when he gave an advice to the Filipino voters that they should elect the right one who will continue his "tuwid na daan” legacy. 

President Noynoy’s fifth State of the Nation Address became emotional when he discussed about his parents and the obligation given to him. All in all, he has delivered his message properly and cited all his contributions and his officials for the improvement of the country. He said that he’s already contented with the accomplishments of his administration. Well, I’m just hoping that his present/future projects and programs are/will be implemented accordingly. And the corrupt officials will be exposed anytime soon and face the consequences for their wrongdoings.

           The thing that I won’t forget in his fifth SONA is when he said, "Hangga’t buo ang ating pananalig at tiwala, mapapatunayang “The Filipino is worth dying for, the Filipino is worth living for. Idadagdag ko naman po, the Filipino is definitely worth fighting for.” Hoping that the last line will move the Filipinos and will prove to the President that they are indeed worth fighting for. As Filipinos, we should not depend only to the President. We should also strive on our own and do our best to help improve ourselves so as our country.

P.S. I do not own the photos. 

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thebeautyofislam:

“‘Do you really believe that God expects you to show Him your respect by repeated bowing and kneeling and prostration? Might it not be better only to look into oneself and to pray to Him in the stillness of one’s heart? Why all these movements of your body?’ As soon as I had uttered these words I felt remorse, for I had not intended to injure the old man’s religious feelings. But the hajji did not appear in the least offended. He smiled with his toothless mouth and replied: ‘How else then should we worship God? Did He not create both, soul and body, together? And this being so, should man not pray with his body as well as with his soul? Listen, I will tell you why we Muslims pray as we pray. We turn toward the Kaaba, God’s holy temple in Mecca, knowing that the faces of all Muslims, wherever they may be, are turned to it in prayer, and that we are like one body, with Him as the centre of our thoughts. First we stand upright and recite from the Holy Koran, remembering that it is His Word, given to man that he may be upright and steadfast in life. Then we say, “God is the Greatest,” reminding ourselves that no one deserves to be worshipped but Him; and bow down deep because we honour Him above all, and praise His power and glory. Thereafter we prostrate ourselves on our foreheads because we feel that we are but dust and nothingness before Him, and that He is our Creator and Sustainer on high. Then we lift our faces from the ground and remain sitting, praying that He forgives our sins and bestow His grace upon us, and guide us aright, and give us health and sustenance. Then we again prostrate ourselves on the ground and touch the dust with our foreheads before the might and the glory of the One. After that, we remain sitting and pray that He bless the Prophet Muhammad who brought His message to us, just as He blessed the earlier Prophets; and that He bless us as well, and all those who follow the right guidance; and we ask Him to give us of the good of this world and of the good of the world to come. In the end we turn our heads to the right and to the left, saying, “Peace and the grace of God be upon you” - and thus greet all who are righteous, wherever they may be. ‘It was thus that our Prophet used to pray and taught his followers to pray for all times, so that they might willingly surrender themselves to God - which is what Islam means - and so be at peace with Him and with their own destiny.’”

— — An extract from ‘The Road to Mecca’ by Muhammad Asad (via baluchx) Read this book if you haven’t. (via thegreaterjihad)

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