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I am very happy and excited to meet you already,
Xo.
-Cora
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Pairing: Taxi/Cab Driver!Bucky Barnes x Passenger!Female Reader
Summary: Youâre Buckyâs favorite passenger. He knows your schedule by heart. The same day, time, and location. Youâre kind. You talk to him like heâs more than just the man behind the wheel. You always tip well.
He canât help but fall for you.
But heâs just a cab driver. You deserve better than that. Better than him. So, he keeps things professional⌠until you lean on him one fateful night when the world feels too heavy.
He doesnât just want to drive you home anymore.
He wants to be someone you can come home to.
Word Count: Over 12.2k
Warnings: Pining, mutual pining, slow(ish) burn, a bit of idiots in love, hurt/comfort, angst with comfort, slight jealousy, flirting, emotional breakdown, crying, insecurities, sick family member, Bucky Barnes (his POV and he's a warning, okay?)
A/N: @tavners suggested Bucky as a cab driver ages ago and the Barbie Dreamhouse helped bring him to life. Huge thanks to @miraclediviner for putting it together and for being patient and letting me submit this late and @stantastic-association for letting me participate. â¤ď¸ Beta read by the lovely @mumbles411, but any and all mistakes are my own. Dividers by the talented @saradika-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
The city sky was still light as Bucky pulled onto your street, a smile touching his lips briefly. Every week for the last three months he picked you up to take you to your brotherâs apartment. Same time, same day without fail. He knew the route by heart. Could do it in his sleep.Â
Thursday had become his favorite day of the week thanks to you.Â
His favorite passenger.Â
Someone bright and soft during his long shifts and rough nights.Â
He came to a stop in front of your building, making sure he adjusted the heat so you wouldnât be too cold. There was a blanket in the back just in case it wasnât enough. He also changed the radio station to something he knew youâd enjoy but kept it low enough in case you wanted to talk.Â
He liked it when you talked to him.Â
âDo I look okay?â he asked himself, checking his hair in the mirror before he chuckled.Â
Bucky didnât dress up a lot since he drove a cab for a living, but he tried to take a bit of pride in his appearance. Clean clothes and a subtle amount of cologne. Beard and hair kept neat, too, even with the bit of gray showing more in his chestnut strands these days.Â
He liked to think it gave him a refined look.Â
Something you might notice.
The steady hum of the engine grounded him as he looked at the door, his breath catching when you stepped outside. You paused on the top step, your gaze sweeping along the street as you adjusted the bag on your shoulder. Something warm bloomed in his chest when you spotted him and gave him that familiar soft wave and smile. He wanted to believe that smile was reserved just for him.Â
Get it together. Youâre just her driver. Nothing more.
It didnât stop him from hoping.Â
He straightened up when you made your way to the car and opened the door.Â
âHappy Friday Eve, Buck,â you said, sliding into the backseat.Â
The corner of his lips twitched at the familiar greeting. Not âdriverâ or âsirâ or anything like that. Just Buck. Steve was the only other person who called him that.Â
It sounded right coming from you.Â
âYou mean Friday Junior,â he teased, trying hard not to make a show of breathing in your scent.
There were plenty of passengers who practically bathed themselves in colognes and perfumes. It was enough to choke on before he aired out the cab. But not you. You always smelled so nice. So sweet.Â
Jesus fucking Christ. Get a grip.Â
âSame thing,â you teased back, slipping your shoes off and tucking your legs beneath you.Â
The first time you asked if it was okay for you to take your shoes off, he almost laughed. It surprised him more than anything that you cared enough to ask. Like you cared about his space and him. He didnât mind as long as you were comfortable.Â
He always wanted you to feel comfortable and safe in his presence.Â
âWe made it through another day,â you sighed.Â
âAnd your prize for making it through another day is spending time with me,â he joked.
You laughed, a soft sound like music to his ears. âLucky me,â you said without a hint of sarcasm.Â
He cleared his throat, his heart skipping a beat. âBlanket back there and the heatâs on.â
âThanks,â you said, adding above a whisper, âYouâre so good to me.â
Bucky opened his mouth and closed it. âJust doing my job,â he said, the words bittersweet on his tongue.Â
âWell, I appreciate it.â You hummed a little as you dug through your bag. âAnd⌠I got something for you.â
He already knew what it was.
âProtein bar?â
âProtein bar,â you confirmed.Â
He made an offhand comment in the beginning about his favorite brand.Â
You surprised him by giving one the following week, and you have brought him one every week since then.Â
Part of him wanted to save the wrappers, but Sam shut that down by saying it was serial killer behavior.Â
Your fingers brushed his when he reached back to grab, a jolt running through his body and settling deep in his chest. âI think youâre too good to me,â he said.Â
It was a thoughtful thing for you to do.Â
âJust being a good passenger,â you said casually, but he caught the hint of affection there.Â
Something soft⌠and real.
Bucky glanced at you in the mirror, his gaze lingering longer than it shouldâve when you covered yourself with the blanket and settled into the leather with a sigh. His chest puffed out a little, a sense of pride filling him since you used the blanket. He picked the softest and warmest one he had.Â
You looked completely at ease, like you belonged there.Â
âHeading to your brotherâs place, or you gonna switch it up on me?â
âSame trip as always,â you replied.Â
Of course.
A visit to your older brotherâs place on the other side of the city. Dinner. Helping your sister-in-law with some chores. Spending quality time with your niece and nephew.Â
Every Thursday.
He knew about your routine more than he probably should, but he couldnât help but pay attention. It was nice knowing that you had family close by. Nice that you got to spend time with them.
Some nights though, you looked a little worn down by the time he brought you home.Â
He carefully pulled away from the curb and glanced in the mirror again, catching your eye. âHow was your day?â
Bucky was polite to his passengers, but didnât typically initiate small talk. It wasnât that he didnât care about the people he transported. He did. But his job was to get people where they needed to go, not force them into conversations to fill the silence. If he sensed that they wanted to talk, heâd engage. Most were glued to their phones anyway. But not you.Â
Never you.Â
You groaned, your head falling back against the seat. âWork was a pain today. Short-staffed. Didnât really get a full break. You know how that goes.â
He hummed sympathetically. âSorry you had to deal with that.â
âDonât be. Not your fault,â you said with a small shrug. âOn the plus side, weâre close to the weekend, and I can relax once I get home.â
âGlad you can still see the bright side,â he said.Â
It wasnât always easy to do that.Â
âI try.â You lifted your head with a soft smile. âHow are you?â
He swallowed hard. It was nice to have someone outside of his normal circle ask him sincerely how he was doing. âNot too bad. Some guy tried to correct my driving.â
You sat up straighter. âAre you kidding me? Youâre the best driver in the city.â
Warmth bloomed in his chest from how fiercely you defended him. You stated it like it was a fact. He wasnât one to brag, but he was an excellent driver.
âI want his name,â you added, narrowing your eyes. âIâll handle him.â
He laughed. âOh, youâll handle him, huh?â he asked, turning his blinker on.Â
âOh, yeah,â you answered, his heart racing faster.Â
âI appreciate that,â he said above a whisper.Â
You really were something.
âAnd if I canât, Alpine can scratch him up for me,â you mused lightly.Â
A wide smile broke out on his face. âAlâd make sure he never messed with anyone ever again.â
Alpine, his beautiful white cat. He found her in an alley when she was just a kitten, trying to stay warm on a chilly day. One look in her blue eyes and he knew he couldnât leave her there.Â
âMy place isnât much,â he warned her when he crouched down. âBut itâs warm and I have milk.â
She curled right in his arms and tried to burrow her face in his leather jacket.Â
She became his partner-in-crime from that day forward.
The feline flourished in his apartment, making herself right at home and sticking by his side whenever he was around. He admittedly spoiled her with toys and such, but she deserved it. She was also protective of him, quick to hiss at anyone who got too close, and could imitate his grumpy stare well. He knew sheâd adore you.
He certainly talked about you enough to her.
He talked about you with his younger sister, too.Â
âBecca messaged me a bit ago, too,â he said, smiling a little. âYou know how she likes to check in and make sure Iâm not living off just protein bars and stubbornness.â
Becca didnât live as close as your brother did, but he visited when he could. She visited, too, between work and her new boyfriend. She seemed happy, and that made him happy.Â
âAnd here I am giving you protein bars. I hope she doesnât mind.â
âNot at all,â he promised. âShe knows one extra bar a week wonât hurt.â
You smiled softly. âShe cares a lot about you, doesnât she?â
âYeah,â he said warmly. âShe does.â
And she liked that he had someone like you who cared, even when he tried to argue that you were just being nice.Â
âShe isnât just being nice, big brother. She cares.â
He liked to think so.
âHey!â you said suddenly, leaning forward in your seat. âYou know what I just realized?â
âWhat?â
âThis is the thirteenth Thursday that youâve driven me around.â
âIs that right?â he asked softly, knowing full well exactly how many Thursdays he had seen you.
Because he had been counting.
âThat is right.â You settled back into your seat with a smile. âFeels like ages⌠and not long at all.â
It seemed like only yesterday to him.
He remembered the exact shade of blue you wore on the first ride, something pleasant against the harsh city lights. How you shivered when you slid into the car, and the smile you gave him when he turned the heat on. You were so beautiful. And kind.Â
The kindest passenger he had that day.
âThanks for getting me here safely, Bucky! Happy Friday Eve!âÂ
âFriday Junior,â heâd called after you like an idiot.
âSame thing!âÂ
He was a goner.
Every week his crush grew stronger.
But every week he told himself he was just your cab driver and nothing more.Â
âThirteen Thursdays,â he said. âThat why you look so nice today?â
Your gaze flickered to your lap, smiling. âYou think I look nice?â you asked gently.Â
His heart hammered in his chest. âYeah. You always do,â he said honestly, willing himself to concentrate on the road.
Donât make it weird. Donât make her uncomfortable.Â
âThanks, Buck,â you whispered. Â
He shouldâve left it at that, but he didnât.
âYou sure Iâm taking you to your brotherâs and not some date?â he blurted out.
The air thickened in the cab, his grip tightening on the steering wheel. Something uncomfortable twisted in his gut. He paid enough attention to know that there wasnât a ring on your finger, and you hadnât mentioned having a boyfriend.Â
Not once.Â
But what if there was someone? What if one day you dressed up for someone else? What if you gave some other man that soft smile you always gave him?
His jaw clenched and he was thankful you couldnât see his expression.Â
I have no reason to be jealous. She isnât my girl. She can see whoever she wants.Â
I just wish it was me.
âA date?â Your laughter made its way to his ears. âPlease. Iâm very single.â
For a moment, all Bucky could hear was the sound of his heart slowing to a steady rhythm, effectively blocking out the moving vehicles around him. His next breath was easier, his grip loosening. It shouldnât have been such a relief to hear that, but it was.
Single. Good. Thatâs good. Stay single. Stay away from bad guys. Stay⌠here. With me.
âŚIâm in deep.Â
âHavenât dated in months,â you added.
That made him pause.Â
âMonths?â he repeated. âI find that hard to believe.â
âWell, itâs true,â you said, quieter than before and gazing out the window. âGuess I havenât caught anyoneâs eye.â
Your words wiped out his relief. You didnât have to say out loud that you were lonely. He sensed it. Recognized it.Â
It just didnât make sense to him that you were alone. You were a catch. How were guys not lining up down the block to ask you out?
Your words also werenât true. Because he was there and he saw you. Wanted you.
âOr⌠maybe you have,â he said carefully. âAnd they just havenât said anything yet.â
A beat passed. âMaybe,â you said.Â
He tapped the wheel when he stopped at a red light.
Say it. Tell her. Tell her that she caught my eye. Tell her that sheâsâŚ
He sighed to himself, the cab feeling smaller than usual. He wanted to admit how he felt, but he couldnât like this. It wasnât right when he was in the driverâs seat and you were back there.Â
âAnd what about you?â you asked, turning away from the window. âYou seeing anyone?â
He huffed out a laugh. âNo.â
Women werenât exactly fighting to date a cab driver.Â
âMy âdateâ nights are me, a book or a movie, and Al,â he told you. âThat or kicking the guys out of my place once the pizza and beer are gone.â
You smiled. âThose sound like good nights to me.â
âTheyâre not bad,â he said casually.
As if the idea of a date night with you wasnât painting a picture in his mind.
âYou know,â you said, snuggling into the blanket more. âIf you ever need anyone to critique your book or movie choices, Iâm available.â
He didnât think it was possible for his heart to trip over itself, but it did. âYeah?â he asked, keeping his voice even.
âYeah,â you said casually, but your eyes flicked to the mirror. âI mean, Iâm sure you have great taste, but it doesnât hurt to get my own confirmation.â
Bucky swallowed hard. âIâll keep that in mind.â
You smiled. âYou better.â
The cab fell into a comfortable silence after that, but something shifted. You had given him an opening that wouldâve been easy to take. But maybe you were just being nice. Maybe it didnât mean anything at all.Â
Or it might mean everything.
He eased the car to a stop at your brotherâs building minutes later. âHere we are.â
You slipped your shoes on and folded the blanket as best as you could. âThanks,â you said, holding out the cash for him.Â
He reached back automatically to grab it, feeling that spark again when your fingers touched. He didnât need to count it to know it was all there, along with a nice tip. You were generous.Â
Always.Â
âAnytime.â
You lingered when you opened the door. âHey, Buck?â
âYeah?â
âYou look nice today, too,â you said.
It was a simple compliment, but it hit him square in the chest.Â
âYeah?â he managed to ask.Â
âYeah,â you said, smiling softly. âYou always do.â
It was an echo of his own words to you.Â
Before he could respond, you slipped out and tapped the roof twice. âSee you later. Drive safe.â
âSee ya,â he whispered.
He didnât leave right away. He watched as you made your way inside safely, his hand still clutching the cash. Glancing at the protein bar on the seat beside him, he exhaled.Â
You said he looked nice. Offered to watch a movie with him. Kind of.Â
But he was just your driver.Â
Nothing more.Â
âIâm in trouble,â he muttered.Â
By the time Bucky pulled back up to your brotherâs building later that night, things felt quieter. But his mind didnât. It was too busy racing with thoughts of you and wondering how long he could keep his line drawn in the sand.Â
You waved to him when you stepped outside, your steps a little slower. Your smile wasnât as bright as earlier, but it was still soft and easy. It made sense. Family time after a long work day was tiring, even if it was nice.Â
âHey,â he said once you got in.Â
âHey,â you echoed, settling in.Â
âGood night?â he asked, easing back into the road.Â
âIt was,â you replied, laughing a little. âBut those kids wear me out.â
He smiled to himself. No way they didnât adore spending time with you. âSounds about right.â
âDid you have a good night?â
It was the best night because he got to see you again.Â
âNot too bad,â he answered.Â
You checked something on your phone and put it away. âRandom, but I have a few extra dollars in my account, so I may do takeout for dinner tomorrow as an end of the week treat for myself.â
You could have takeout with me.
âGet those noodles from the place you like on 5th,â he suggested instead. âThe number seven, right?â
Why did I say that?
âThatâs right.â You giggled. âAm I that predictable?â
He almost said, âI notice everything about you.â
âYouâre not predictable,â he replied instead, easing his foot off the gas. âI just⌠pay attention.â
Because youâre⌠you.
It was quiet for the rest of the ride.Â
He glanced back a few times and saw that your eyes were heavy. He hoped you were able to relax more when you got back to your place. You deserved the rest.Â
A pang of disappointment hit him when he got to your place, the drive seeming quicker than normal. âHere we are.â
You stifled a yawn. âThanks.âÂ
âAnytime.â
âOh. I almost forgot.â You sat up, seemingly more awake now. âI have something for you.â
He raised an eyebrow. âYou already gave me a protein bar.â
âWell, this isnât from me,â you said, handing him a folded piece of construction paper along with the cash. âItâs from my niece and nephew.â
He opened it carefully, his heart melting on the spot.Â
A drawing of a car stretched across the sheet. It was lopsided with uneven wheels and windows that were too big. There were two stick figures inside. One in the back with a large smile that was clearly you. And one in the front with brown hair, blue eyes, and a small smile.Â
It was him.Â
There was a message in crooked letters above the car, surrounded by glitter glue.Â
BUCKY DRIVING AUNTIE! YAY!
His throat tightened unexpectedly. âThatâs us?â he asked with a hint of disbelief.Â
You mentioned him to your family?
âThatâs us,â you said affectionately, making him wonder if that was for him or your niece and nephew. âThey wanted to thank you for always getting me there and back every week.â
He swallowed, his throat dry. âYou⌠talk about me?âÂ
âOf course, I do,â you said like it was obvious. âYouâre part of my week.â
He folded it back up like it was something fragile, your words slowly sinking in.Â
You talked about him. Your family knew he existed. Your niece and nephew had never met him, but still made him a card like he mattered.Â
His heart felt full.Â
And he didnât know what to do with that feeling.Â
âTell âem I said thanks,â he said quietly. âReally.â
âI will,â you promised, hesitating when you reached for the door handle.Â
You waited long enough for him to look at you over his shoulder. Long enough that his heart thudded. Hope flickered deep within.Â
She feels something, right? It canât just be me.Â
Your fingers tightened around the strap of your bag, but your eyes were soft. âIâŚâ Your gaze flickered down before looking back at him, sighing a little. âIâll see you next week, Buck.â
He exhaled, trying not to let disappointment show. Something passed between you. He felt it. It was real.Â
Or⌠maybe he just imagined it.Â
âYeah,â he said, offering you a small smile. âNext week.â
âGood night.â
âGood night,â he repeated. âAnd thanks again for the card and tip.â
You smiled softly before you got out.Â
He leaned against his seat and once again stayed to make sure you got inside safely. You didnât rush inside when you got to the door. You paused instead and glanced over your shoulder at the door, like you were waiting for him. It was an opening. Maybe.Â
But he didnât take it.
He kept that line drawn.Â
You waved before you went inside, and he closed his eyes, the quiet surrounding him once again.
His fingers brushed the construction paper in his lap.
Steve and Sam would flip when he told them about it. Hell, they already did whenever he talked about you. He could practically hear them now once he gave them the recap of tonightâs events.
Sam shaking his head and saying, âShe gives you protein bars, offers to watch movies with you, her family knows about you, her niece and nephew made you a card, and you didnât ask for her number?â
Steve, a little quieter but no less insistent, with, âBuck⌠youâre allowed to want something.â
Buckyâs jaw clenched. They acted like it was simple, like he could just ask and it wouldnât change a thing. It would change everything.Â
He didnât want to risk losing you or holding you back when he didnât have you to begin with.
For now, heâd continue driving you where you needed to go and leave it at that.
Coward. Lifeâs too short.
He set the card aside and took one last look at your building.
âYeah,â he sighed. âIâm in big trouble.â
Bucky arrived a couple of minutes early the following Thursday.Â
He told himself it was habit. Being mindful of traffic. Not because he was eagerly waiting for you.Â
Not at all.
And you also werenât the reason he spent ten extra minutes picking out a shirt.
Just because she said I look niceâŚ
He made a mistake of checking the group chat he had with Steve and Sam while he waited.
Sam: âBe a man and get her number.â
He gritted his teeth, quickly typing. He almost regretted confiding in them about you. It wouldâve been easier to keep his mouth shut.Â
âFuck off, Samuel. I am a man.âÂ
The dots appeared with both of his friends writing something back.
Sam: âOOH. Samuel. My full name. Hit a sore spot, huh?â
Maybe he did.
Stevie: âJust go at your pace, jerk. We got your back.â
Some of the tension left his shoulders.Â
âThanks, punk.â
He put his phone away and smiled just a little. They were good guys. Had been with him through thick and thin. Brothers.
Sam definitely acted like an annoying brother in the most supportive way.
And as much as he adored Becca, he didnât want to bother his little sister with his lack-of-relationship woes. She had enough on her plate. Heâd be just fine.
Eventually.
His attention snapped in your direction when you left your building and everything else faded away.
There you were again.
The same familiar sweep of your eyes along the street before you found him. The soft smile. The small wave. How you always looked incredible no matter if you dressed up or down.Â
Like tonight, you had on the same soft sweater you wore last month. It reminded him of comfort. It also made you look gentle in a way that made him want to take care of you.
The instinct hit him harder than before.
Yeah. Iâm royally fucked.
He straightened up as you walked closer, his brows furrowing. You were still smiling at him, but your steps didnât look as light as normal. There was tension in your shoulders.Â
âHappy Friday Eve, Buck,â you said, unfolding the blanket with extra care.Â
There was a touch of weariness in your tone under the warmth.
It wouldâve been easy to miss if he wasnât paying attention.Â
âYou mean Friday Junior,â he said automatically.
âSame thing,â you murmured.Â
âYour brotherâs place?â he asked gently.
âSame trip as always,â you replied just as gently.
He looked at you in the mirror after pulling away from the curb. You were already gazing out the window, relaxed but not completely. His chest tightened when he spotted the slightest frown on your face.
It didnât belong there.
Is she okay? Was work extra rough?
He waited a couple of blocks before he asked, âLong day?â
Bucky didnât want to push if you didnât want to talk, but he did want to make sure you were okay. If something upset you, he wanted to fix it. If someone upset you, he wanted to handle it.
Let me help however I can.
âYeah,â you replied after a second. âLong week, actually.â
âThose are the worst.â He tapped a finger on the wheel. âBecca always tells me to take a breath and not let the week eat me alive.â
âThatâs good advice.â Something soft and a little sad flickered in your eyes. He didnât know if his words triggered a memory, but it felt important. âEspecially coming from a sibling.â
âIt is,â he replied. âSiblings just get it some days.â
You hummed in agreement, but didnât say anything else.Â
He bit his tongue. It was times like this when he wished he wasnât driving. He wanted to turn around and give you his attention. You deserved it.
âWould it make you feel any better if I said you look nice today?â he asked, hoping he didnât sound as desperate as he felt.Â
That brought a smile to your face. âIt does make me feel better,â you said, your tone almost back to normal. âThank you.â
He smiled back gently, the sound of the engine and low music filling the space for a moment. It didnât fix your long week, but he was glad the compliment helped. Heâd consider that a win.
âYou look nice, too.â You craned your head to look at him. âI really like that color on you.â
His pulse jumped. The usual ease was coming back, the cab lighter. And you noticed his shirt.Â
I chose well.Â
âOh, this old thing?â he teased, like it wasnât a big deal. âReally brings out my eyes.â
You giggled. âIt sure does.â
He stole another glance at you when you looked out the window again. You were tired, but you were okay. Still warm. Still you.
He felt like he could breathe again.
âHey,â he said after another block, reaching into the console. âI, uh⌠made you a list.â
âA list?â Your eyebrows went up. âWhat kind of list?â
âMovies. Some I like. Some I think youâd like,â he clarified, passing it back to you before he could change his mind. âYou did offer to critique them.â
âAnd youâre taking me up on it?â You gasped, putting a hand to your chest. âIâm both shocked and flattered.â
âYou should be,â he deadpanned before grinning.
You smiled, a little tired but genuine. âThe first title has a star next to it.â
âBecause itâs my favorite and a good one to start with.â
âDid you get Steve and Samâs seal of approval?â
He scoffed. âTheyâd like it. Enough oldies for Steve, and Sam has somewhat decent taste in recent stuff⌠but heâll never know I said that.â He coughed into his hand and added, âTheyâve heard about you.â
You smiled. âIs that right?âÂ
âYeah, I talk about more than I probably should.â He shrugged, but his left foot lightly tapped. âYouâre a good passenger.â
And Iâm just your driver.
Your smile faltered, just for a second, before you smoothed it over with a laugh. âAnd youâre a good driver.â You scanned the small piece of paper once more. âYou put a lot of thought into this, didnât you?â
Warmth rushed to his cheeks. âYou should see the book list Iâm making for you,â he muttered.Â
He valued your opinion, and the lists were a way for you to think of him between rides. A way to keep you two connected. Maybe it was selfish that he wanted you to have him on your mind.Â
But maybe it wasnât.
âYouâre making me a book list, too? Oh, I canât wait for that.â You folded it neatly and put it in your bag. âIâll watch the first movie tomorrow night.â
Another Friday night with no date? I wish I could man up and change that.
âI expect a full report next week,â he teased.
âYou got it, Sarge,â you teased back.
His breath caught. âSarge?â he repeated. âYou remember my military ranking?â
Sergeant Barnes.
It was mentioned only once, just like the protein bars. A passing comment and nothing more. But you listened.Â
You remembered.
âOf course, I do.â
The same thing you said about mentioning him to your family.Â
He blinked rapidly, trying to steady the emotions stirring inside him as he drove. You continued to surprise him with your soft words and smiles, making him feel special in your eyes. You undid him in ways nothing or no one else could.
âHere we are,â he said minutes later.
âThanks, Buck.â You gathered your things before you stopped, your inhale sharp. âOh⌠you kept it.â
He followed your gaze to the dashboard. Your niece and nephewâs card was proudly on display. It was a beautiful reminder of you.
âOf course, I did,â he said, trying to play it cool. âItâs a nice drawing.â
âThatâs really sweet, Buck.â
He shrugged a little, but heat crept up his neck. âIt deserved a front and center spot.â
Your gaze softened more. âTheyâll think youâre the coolest guy ever when I tell them.â
They made him feel cool by giving him the card.Â
âGuess Iâll have to try to live up to that.â
âYou already are,â you said without missing a beat, passing him a protein bar with the cash.Â
His heart pounded in his chest. Another thoughtful gesture. More words that made him feel good.Â
Say something. Do something.Â
But he didnât.Â
There was a small pause before you sighed and got out, the door gently closing behind you. Tap. Tap. The familiar rhythm against the roof shouldâve felt normal and comforting.Â
But why did it feel like you were disappointed?
âSee you later,â you said. âDrive safe.â
âSee ya,â he exhaled.
He watched until you went inside, half tempted to hit the dashboard since he chickened out. He held himself back. There was no sense in taking his frustration out on the car. He could hit a punching bag later.
Maybe he could knock some sense into himself, too, and man up.Â
âShouldâve said something,â he muttered, running a hand through his hair.Â
Some of the frustration at himself faded when he looked at the card. He imagined your niece and nephew were the kind of kids who loved when the garbage men came by every week or drivers dropped off packages. Theyâd probably have a blast riding around in his cab, cheering him on for driving you around. If Becca ever had kids, theyâd likely be the same way.
He wondered, briefly, if youâd ever meet her, and the thought didnât scare him the way it should.
But what would your brother think of me? Would he think Iâm good enough?
At the end of the day, didnât it matter only what you thought and saw in him?
His phone buzzed.Â
Sam: âWell??? Weâre waiting.â
Bucky stared at the message before typing back. âDropped her off. Didnât ask.â
Three dots appeared immediately. He didnât want to look. Didnât need the additional salt on the open wound of his self-doubt.Â
But he looked since he was a glutton for punishment.Â
Sam: âMan, if we can even call you that, you're killing me! Iâm gonna lose the bet.â
Bet? What fucking bet?
Stevie: âThereâs no bet. Youâll do it when itâs right.â
Sam: âDonât make me get Becca and Sarah involved. Iâll do it.â
He tucked his phone away and shook his head. Tough and gentle love. He needed both.Â
And he needed just a little more time to convince himself to erase the line he had drawn.Â
The next passenger he picked up, a man complaining about the state of the economy, didnât shift his focus fully away from you. The restaurant he dropped him at seemed like a nice one to take you to, something quiet and romantic. A couple of women he drove after that mentioned an acoustic concert in the park, which made him picture you leaning your head on his shoulder while listening to music together. Every passenger was like that, managing to tie something back to you.Â
He still got everyone where they needed to go safely since that was the job.Â
He just couldnât stop thinking about you.Â
By the time he arrived to pick you up again, the city lights had taken over the streets. He spotted you immediately, your arms wrapped around yourself to keep warm. You looked about the same as when you went in. A little more tired, but okay.Â
And you still gave him a smile when you got in.Â
Smiling like sheâs happy to see me.Â
âHey.â
âHey,â he replied, double checking the heat. âKids wear you out again?â
âYou know it. They had so much energy tonight, and I almost stepped on a lego when I was chasing them around.âÂ
âOccupational hazard of being a great aunt.â
âYou know it.â You laughed a little. âThey were also thrilled that you have their card up.âÂ
That warmed his heart. âSo, they think Iâm cool?â
âThe coolest.â
He smiled at the sincerity. He believed that they believed that. It was a feeling he needed to lean into more.Â
âDid you have a good night?âÂ
âYep. Just driving. Getting everyone where they need to go,â he answered.Â
And thinking of you. Always thinking about you.Â
He turned the radio up a notch after that instead of trying to fill the silence, letting you relax. For a moment, he pictured swaying with you. Minus the quick brush of your fingers, he hadnât touched you in any way.Â
To hold you would be a gift.
âHey, Buck?â you asked once he pulled up to your place.Â
âYeah?â
You bit your lip. âI wanted to give you something.â
âYeah?â he asked, his chest tightening in anticipation as you reached into your bag.Â
You hesitated before you nodded. âYeah.â
Your hand shook a little when you passed him a small slip of paper with the cash. He unfolded it, blinking hard to make sure he was reading it correctly. He turned it over, too.Â
It was your handwriting. Your name. Your number.Â
You gave him your phone number.Â
His heart forgot how to beat before it thundered. He imagined this scenario for weeks, but he hadnât prepared himself for the reality of it. He didnât think the universe would be that kind to him.
âI just figured, this way you donât have to wait until next week for my report on the movie. You could just text me and see what I think,â you explained, trying to play it off casually. âOr if you ever want to send me pictures of Alpine. Or youâre just⌠bored.â
His pulse roared in his ears. You wanted to hear from him. You gave him another opening while he kept mentally blocking the door with his foot.Â
You trusted him enough to want a connection outside of the cab and the rules he internally created and enforced.
âBut you donât have to,â you added quickly, reaching for the door handle. âI can wait until next week to talk to you and-â
âWait,â he begged, trying not to panic. The last thing he wanted was for you to think he didnât want to reach out. âIâll, um⌠give you mine, too.â
You met his gaze in the mirror. He wanted to memorize how you looked at this moment. Hopeful. Beautiful.Â
âYeah?â
âYeah,â he whispered.Â
He found a pen and a receipt, making sure his writing was legible as he jotted it down. Your smile when he handed it over soothed his nerves. The smooth thing to do wouldâve been to put his phone number on the movie list when he gave it to you earlier. But this was better.Â
This felt more right.Â
âThanks.â You tucked it away like it was something sacred. âIâll text you.â
He nodded, his throat tight. âIâd like that.â
You stepped out into the cool air, glancing back at him. The tension was almost completely gone from your shoulders. The glow from the street lamps made your eyes sparkle.Â
He couldnât look away from you if he tried.Â
âGood night, Buck.â
âGood night.â
Once you were inside, he glanced at your number again, reading it until the numbers ran together. He reached for the phone to message the guys and Becca before deciding against it. Sam would lose his mind. Steve would tell him not to overthink it. Becca would be somewhere in the middle. He didnât need that tonight.
He wanted to hang onto this just a little longer and let it sink in that it was real.Â
Besides, it was just an exchange of phone numbers. You didnât ask him out. He didnât ask you out. He was still being professional.Â
But he did check his phone immediately when a new message popped up.Â
âHappy fourteenth Thursday. Thanks again for the ride.â
Still counting like me.Â
âAnytime. Get some rest. And let me know when you watch the first movie.â
A neutral message. Polite. Professional.Â
âIâm still in trouble.â
And he grinned like an idiot because of it.
You messaged him on Friday night. Â
He saved you under his contacts as MFP, my favorite passenger.
MFP: âHalfway through the movie.â
His fingers hovered over the screen. If he typed back too quickly, heâd look desperate. If he waited too long, heâd look aloof.Â
A full minute was enough time.Â
âAnd?â
He winced at himself. That was too short. Too blunt.Â
MFP: âThey switched part of what happened in the book. Trying to reserve my judgement until the end.â
A sense of awe filled him. You read the book. Of course, you did. That made him want you even more.Â
But he couldnât say that.Â
âI didnât like the switch at first either, but keep watching. Trust me.â
MFP: âI trust you.â
That made his breath catch.Â
He scratched behind Alpineâs ear, smiling when she purred. âSheâs watching it and texting me. Thatâs good, right?â
She meowed happily.Â
He put the movie on, too, in the hopes that he wouldnât keep checking his phone.Â
You messaged him again an hour later.Â
MFP: âMy score: 8/10. Adventurous, heartwarming, and visually stunning. I see why itâs your favorite.â
He smiled, typing out, âDinner and tell me more?â
He deleted it and started over.
â8/10? Iâll take it. What didnât you like besides the book switch?â
MFP: âA one point deduction was for the book switch. Another deduction for the bad wig. I mean, a huge budget like that and they couldnât give the lead some good hair? Tragic.â
Bucky chuckled. âYou make a good point. It was pretty bad.â
MFP: âBut movie wise? So far, so good for your taste.â
That was a win in his book.
You didnât message him again until Saturday night.Â
MFP: âIs brinner an acceptable choice on a Saturday night?â
He smiled immediately.Â
âBrinner is an acceptable choice every night.â
MFP: âI knew youâd understand. I can eat while I watch the second movie on the list.â
âI bet youâll give it a 7/10.â
MFP: âWeâll see if youâre right. Hope you're having a good weekend.â
He reread that statement twice. It felt measured. Careful.Â
âYou, too.â
He read the message again after sending it.Â
Maybe it was another message that was too short.Â
And it was too late to erase it.Â
You sent him a photo of a white cat on Sunday.Â
MFP: âIs this Alpineâs doppelganger?â
He chuckled. The image wasnât too far off but Alpine was prettier. He was a bit biased when it came to his feline.Â
âThereâs no cat like Al.â
MFP: âI believe it. And you were right, but the way. 7/10. I deducted two points for the one terrible accent.â
He tilted his head and laughed again. He had almost forgotten about the bad accent. It was amazing how one actor or actress could throw off an entire scene.Â
âMuch deserved deduction. Al would approve.â
MFP: âIâm honored.â
He didnât hear from you for the rest of the day.Â
It was his turn to message you first.Â
âHope you have water and caffeine to get you through Monday.â
He stared at it after sending. Maybe that too personal. Maybe it wasnât enough.Â
MFP: âDo I have to have water?â
He laughed, picturing you scrunching up your face.Â
âNeed you to stay hydrated.â
Because he cared.
MFP: âBut what if I try to live on stubbornness like you?â
Youâre too good to live on stubbornness.Â
âStill need water.â
MFP: âYes, Sarge.â
Oh, that did something to him.Â
MFP: âBut only if you drink some water, too.â
âI will.â
He would for you.Â
He didnât hear from you on Tuesday.Â
That was fine. You were busy. You had a life outside of him. And he didnât want to bother you.Â
But he checked his phone more than he should have.Â
You messaged him first thing on Wednesday.Â
MFP: âIs it Friday Eve yet?â
Relief hit him faster than he expected.Â
âAlmost. You surviving?â
There was a delay this time. Long enough for him to notice.Â
MFP: âBarely, but Iâm trying.â
He frowned a little.Â
âHang in there.â
He hesitated before adding another message.Â
âIâll see you tomorrow.â
There was another pause.Â
MFP: âYeah. See you tomorrow.â
He stared at it longer than he meant to.Â
Something about it felt different. Quieter. He couldâve been imagining it.Â
He sent one more message before he could stop himself.Â
âCanât wait.âÂ
He meant it.Â
Even if something told him tomorrow would feel different. Â
Bucky waited at the curb as patiently as he could, checking his hair three times. Just like every week before, he looked forward to seeing you. But this felt different because the texts had been good overall. Almost effortless.
Almost.Â
Tonight could be a turning point.
Bucky checked his phone again, even though he told himself he wouldnât.
Sam: âYou better not fumble this now that you got her number.â
Stevie: âIgnore him. Just be yourself.â
He huffed under his breath, locking the screen.
Like itâs that easy.
He turned his attention back to your building, his heart sinking the moment you stepped outside.
The usual sweep of your gaze didnât happen since you were looking at your feet. You hardly seem to notice or care that your bag slipped from your shoulder. When you finally lifted your gaze, you looked worn out in a way he had never seen before.Â
It was like someone took the light inside you and dialed it down.
Everyone had bad days. That was a normal part of life. But this was you.Â
It didnât sit right with him at all.
âHappy Friday Eve,â you stated with a dim smile, hugging the blanket against your chest like a pillow. Your fingers trembled just enough that he spotted it.Â
âFriday Junior,â he said because thatâs what he was supposed to say.
Same thing.
You didnât say it.Â
You looked out the window, your jaw tight enough that he could see the tension in your neck. There was no teasing either as he drove. No references to any of the messages between you, like brinner or the bad wig or accent from the movies. No jokes about staying hydrated or calling him Sarge.Â
There were no comments on anything.Â
Just the kind of silence that for the first time felt off between you two.
Something was wrong.
I fucked this up, didnât I?Â
He thought back to every message he sent like he could figure out the exact moment things flipped.Â
He responded in a timely manner. He initiated at times so it wouldnât all fall on you. They werenât overly flirty but they werenât cold either.Â
Maybe you expected more and he let you down.
Or maybe he leaned in too far with the âcanât waitâ message and now you were pulling back.Â
âHey, umâŚâ He cleared his throat, his grip shifting on the wheel. âIf I said something wrong, or if I upset you with one of my textsâŚâ
âWhat?â Your head snapped toward him, your brows pinching. âBuck, no.â
He blinked, surprised at how quickly you shut that down when his mind was screaming at him. âYou sure?â He bit the inside of his cheek. âYou just seem off, and I didnât want it to be because of me.â
He was sure he could handle just about anything but that.
He didnât want to lose the one bright part of his week because he misread a moment or sent the wrong text.
âBuck,â you said, even gentler this time. âYou didnât do anything wrong.â
His shoulders dropped. âReally?â he pressed, needing to be absolutely certain.
âReally. I like talking with you⌠a lot,â you promised, a shallow breath leaving your lungs. âI swear, it isnât you.â
The weight in his chest eased enough for him to breathe but not enough to feel okay since your voice cracked. You liked talking to him, which was good. Better than good. But if he wasnât the issue, it was something else. Something you werenât telling him.
It worried him.
âCan I ask you something?â you asked softly.
âYeah. Anything,â he said honestly.Â
âI donât think Iâve ever asked you this.â You paused to consider your words. âWhy do you drive?â
He inhaled. It wasnât unusual for you to ask about him. But most people didnât care enough to ask why he did this job.Â
You werenât most people there, were you?
Your gaze was back on him instead of looking out the window, waiting patiently for his answer because you wanted to know.
Like Becca said⌠you care.
âI guess the easy answer is having a flexible schedule, getting decent money on the right nights, and it beats being in an office with some boss hounding me.â
You gave him a knowing, very small smile. âAnd whatâs the real answer?â
He took a breath. âYou remember I served in the army.â You nodded in acknowledgement. âWhen I got out⌠there was no clear objective. No structure.â His voice stayed even, but quieter. âIt was just⌠a lot of noise.â
He stared at the taillights in front of him, lost for a moment.Â
His smile had been wrong for days when he got out. Everything seemed like too much or not enough. And the world didnât slow down just because people couldnât keep up.Â
âI had my friends. My sister. I wasnât alone,â he said like it mattered because it did. Not everyone had that support. âBut it still felt like I was supposed to be doing something⌠and I didnât know what that was.â
You didnât interrupt or rush him, so he continued.
âBut this?â He gestured around the cab. âIt gave me something again.â
A sense of purpose. A mission.Â
âI have an objective⌠orders,â he explained, tapping the dashboard. âI pick a passenger up and I get them from point A to point B. Thatâs the job.â
You nodded slowly. âThat makes sense.â
âAnd how I get you there? Thatâs on me.â He tapped his chest. âIf the weatherâs bad, I take it into account. If thereâs awful traffic, I adjust. If my usual route is blocked, I find another way.â
âSo, it gives you a sense of control,â you mused. âYou know what you have to do, but you choose how you execute it.â
He nodded. You seemed to understand. Not everyone did.
âItâs simple in a good way. Discipline and structure with adaptability.â He ran a hand along the wheel, smiling to himself. âI know what Iâm supposed to do. I know I can do it well.â
He glanced at you in the mirror, vulnerability shining in his eyes.
âAnd at the end of the ride⌠I get someone where they need to go. Safely.â
He paused, the sounds of honking horns and engines surrounding him. It was strangely comforting. But the most comforting thing was your presence and tender expression.Â
âAnd sometimes⌠thatâs enough,â he finished.Â
âIt is. It matters,â you insisted, gently but firmly. âMore than you think.â
You make me feel like I matter.Â
âI do my best.â The words came out nonchalantly but he meant it. âI canât control what others do when theyâre on the road, just like they canât control me. But if something does happen, I fix it.â
Your expression shifted. âAnd if thereâs a time that you canât fix it? You canât control whatâs happening?â
Bucky stilled before he realized it. That didnât sound like you were talking about driving. He had a good read on people, but he couldnât read between the lines of this. Couldnât figure out why you were asking that.Â
What needs fixing?
âI just keep driving,â he finally answered. âLike Steve always says⌠We have to move forward.â
You shifted in your seat. âI guess itâs all we can do,â you said more to yourself than him. âAnd for what itâs worth, you really are doing a great job,â you added.
He inhaled sharply. âYeah?â
âYeah. You help people every time you drive. You donât just drive well. You do it safely, like you said,â you pointed out, giving him a small smile. âI always feel safe when Iâm with you.â
Those words landed in the middle of his doubt in himself, threatening to tear it apart. There was trust within your compliment. It was pure in an impure world.
âGood.â He had to swallow to keep his voice steady. âIâm glad you feel that way.â
You smiled again, but it didnât reach your eyes.Â
His chest ached. Every smile seemed to take more effort than it should, like you were chipping away little pieces of yourself. He hated that.
He hated that he couldnât shoulder the weight still pushing you down, even just a little.Â
âHere we are,â he said once he stopped, quieter than before.Â
âThanks, Buck,â you said, handing over a protein bar with the cash. âAnd Iâm sorry if I made you think that you upset me.â
âDonât apologize,â he said quickly, turning around as best as he could so he could see you. âYou donât have to do that with me.â
There was no reason for you to apologize when he was the one overthinking.
âBut are you sure youâre alright?â he asked, searching your face for the answer your lips may not say.Â
Lean on me if you arenât.
Something passed in your eyes and then it was gone. âI will be,â you assured him.
His stomach dropped when you took the blanket with you, like you forgot you were holding it. You clutched it like a lifeline as you walked away from the cab. He watched you go, reaching for the door handle. You disappeared into the building before he could follow, which he had never done before.
You werenât okay.
For the first time since he met you, he had no idea how to fix it.Â
But something told him he was about to find out.
By the time he came back, he was tense. He told himself you just needed time with your family tonight. That whatever was on your mind eased with some laughter and familiar warmth.Â
It had to have helped.Â
âŚRight?
His heart didnât sink when he saw you.
It cracked.
You had the blanket around your shoulders, trying to hold yourself together as you put one foot in front of the other. The look of sadness on your face wasnât fleeting or light. It was the kind that settled in your bones.
What the hell happened?
You forced a smile when you met his eye and it twisted something inside him painfully.Â
Donât do that. Please, donât do that.
âHey.â
âHey,â you replied, your voice thin.Â
He didnât drive off right away, giving you a moment to get your bearings.Â
But you didnât.Â
You didnât slip your shoes off or tuck yourself in. The blanket stayed around your shoulders like an afterthought. Your breaths were too measured. Too careful.Â
He held the wheel so tight that his fingers ached.
You were a heartbeat away from unraveling.
âReady?âÂ
âYeah.â
The city bustled around like normal, but nothing inside the cab felt the same.Â
The air felt even heavier than earlier. The silence was too loud.. Louder than any word you ever spoke.
And you simply stared ahead like you were bracing yourself for impact.
His teeth snapped together, trying hard to keep himself in check. His job was to get you home safely. If you wanted to confide in him, heâd listen. But you didnât have to lean on him.
He was justâŚ
Your breath hitched on the next turn.Â
He made it three more blocks before he couldnât take it anymore.Â
Fuck this. Iâm not just your driver.
He switched lanes and turned down a road he had never taken on your route before. It was familiar to him, of course. Away from some of the noise. It had a soothing view, too.Â
Exhaling through his nose, he stopped the car and turned to look at you.Â
He recognized pain when he saw it. Had lived through it. He couldnât recall ever seeing you look so fragile.Â
Itâs okay to break with me.Â
âHey,â he said carefully because you needed something gentle. âI know you said youâll be alright⌠but youâre not.â
âI will be,â you said quickly, your lower lip trembling. âI have to be.â
âHeyâŚâ he whispered again.Â
You donât need to be strong tonight.Â
You shook your head automatically, your next breath shaky. âI donât want to dump this on you.â
âYouâre not dumping anything on me,â he promised, needing you to believe him. âYouâre hurting.â
Your eyes filled and you tried to blink the moisture away.Â
He didnât think when he got out of the cab, his body moving on instinct at the sight of your tears. He got in the back with you, leaving you enough space so you wouldnât feel cornered. His hands rested on his knees, making sure not to touch you since he didnât know if that would help or make things worse.
 But he wanted to be there for you.
âPlease, let me help,â he begged, his voice thick. âEven just a little.â
That did it.Â
A sob burst from your chest, your hand coming up to cover your mouth and failing to keep it in.
His heart stopped, his fingers curling to hold himself back from hauling you into his arms.
You hastily wiped your tears away that fell, like it would hide them. Your shoulders shook the more you tried to hold them in. Another broken sound escaped, the threads inside you slowly pulling apart.
âHeâs sick,â you whimpered. âMy brotherâŚâ
Your words were like a punch to the gut.
Oh, noâŚ
âHe has been for a while. They thought he was getting better, but the last couple of weeks have been bad,â you admitted, your face crumbling. âHe barely made it through dinner tonight before he had to lay down.â
His jaw tightened in that helpless way when grief felt too close and overpowering.Â
âAnd the kids⌠They donât get why their dad is so tired or why their mom looks so sad when she thinks no oneâs looking.â You hiccuped, the sound raw. âAnd Iâm trying to help when I can. Iâm trying to be strong for everyone, but Iâm scared and⌠I canât fix this.â
His throat went tight.Â
âAnd if thereâs a time that you canât fix it? You canât control whatâs happening?â
It all made sense now.Â
The nights where you looked a little worn down. Your smiles that didnât reach your eyes. Your light dimming. The talk earlier tonight.
While he had been overanalyzing his interactions with you, you were carrying this.
Alone.
And he couldnât fix it for you.
âI help cook, clean, make the kids smile, but I donât know what to do anymore,â you whimpered, looking at him with teary eyes. âIt hurt for me to smile tonight.â
Trying to smile through pain was one of the hardest things a person could do.Â
âIâve been holding this in and I⌠canât anymore.â
Bucky couldnât keep staying behind the line he drew.
Not anymore.
His arms went around you without another thought, strong and steady, pulling you in like it was the most natural thing in the world. You clung to him, your fingers curling in his shirt as you sobbed painfully into his neck. He closed his eyes, willing whatever being was watching over them to feed some of your pain into him.Â
Donât do this to her. Give it to me. I can take it.
âIâve got you,â he murmured, cradling the back of your head as your cries continued. âIâve got you.â
He didnât say it was okay because it wasnât. But he was there. Solid and real. Nothing else mattered except you.Â
âHeâs my big brother. Heâs a good guy. Heâs supposed to be okay,â you choked out between sobs. âBut he isnât, and I canât make it any better.â
He pressed his cheek to your temple. He knew how afraid Becca had been when he served and how relieved she was when he came back. If he were to get sick now⌠If anything happened to himâŚ
âYou just need to love him,â he whispered against your ear. âAnd you do. You have such a big heart.â
You cried harder, making him hold you closer.Â
âJust let it out,â he urged, rubbing your shaking back.Â
Minutes passed before your cries eventually slowed to small sniffles. Your body slumped against his, the tears wearing you out. And he held you through it all, letting you feel his warmth and comfort.Â
You lifted your head slowly, your cheeks wet. âIâm sorry I didnât tell you sooner.â
âDonât you dare apologize for that,â he said, wiping a stray tear away with his thumb. âSometimes saying it out loud makes it more real and it opens up the floodgates before youâre ready.â
Like me being a coward about my feelings for you.Â
You leaned into his touch briefly. âI didnât want to be a burden,â you said, your voice wrecked.Â
âYouâre not.â He pulled back enough to really look at you. âYou never could be.â
You searched his face, your lip trembling again. âAm I doing enough?â
Your grief already cut open his heart, but your question made him feel the blade all over again.Â
âYouâre doing more than enough. Youâre showing up for everyone. That matters,â he swore to you, echoing some of your earlier words as he held you tighter. âMore than you know.â
Your eyes shimmered again, but the tears didnât fall.Â
âAnd you can lean on me whenever you need to,â he added, giving you a tender smile. âYou donât have to do this alone.â
You smiled back faintly. âThanks, Buck.â
âYeah,â he whispered. âAnytime.â
You let go of his shirt, but didnât make an effort to move out of his arms. He didnât move either, taking a second to breathe with you and memorize how it felt to hold you. Heâd keep you in his embrace all night if he could.
âCan I just...â You glanced down, your fingers absentmindedly tracing a pattern on your thigh. âCan I say something?â
âAnything,â he answered, adjusting the blanket around your shoulders.Â
Say whatever you need to. I got you.
âSeeing you⌠talking to you,â you began. âI always look forward to it.â
You lifted your gaze, somehow more exposed and vulnerable than your earlier tears.Â
âItâs the best part of my week,â you admitted.Â
Bucky froze completely.Â
You exhaled shakily, like you said too much.Â
âI didnât want to fall apart in front of you,â you went on while his brain was scrambling to catch up. âBut everything felt heavy and I just⌠I felt safe enough that I could. So⌠thank you. For that.â
He didnât speak. He couldnât. Your words flowed through him, filing every crack he couldnât seal shut himself.
Iâm the best part of your week?Â
Not work, your friends, or even your family?
Me?
Since the beginning, he told himself to stay in his lane and keep things simple. To be professional. Driver and passenger. That was it.
But you were here in his arms, trusting him enough with something so raw and admitting that he was the one thing that made your week a little lighter.Â
Him.
And he was still acting as if there was a line he shouldnât cross?
His thumb brushed your shoulder. You looked to him for comfort tonight. You needed him in a way.Â
Maybe you wanted him, too.
If that were true, what the hell was he waiting for?
Donât rush her. Donât make this about me.
âI appreciate you telling me that,â he whispered once he found his voice. âLetâs get you home, okay?â
You nodded, your energy spent as you shifted from his hold. He felt the loss immediately, the cab feeling colder. But he didnât linger, as much as he wanted to.
He moved back to the driver seat grudgingly and started the engine.Â
You werenât too far from your place, but he drove a bit slower and checked the mirror more than he needed to. You had your legs curled up now, your eyes heavy but open. Not distant or shut down. Just tired.Â
You had a good reason to feel tired.
But you also gave him a smile when you caught him looking the last time. A small, real one. Because you felt safe.Â
Youâre safe with me.
The lights didnât seem as harsh when he turned onto your street. The breeze wasnât as strong. The world seemed to realize you needed little wins after breaking down.
Neither of you moved right away when he parked.Â
âHey.â He turned slightly in his seat, your expression glassy but more clear when you handed him the money. âIâm gonna walk you to your building tonight.â
It wasnât a question or suggestion.
Shouldâve been doing that since the first night.Â
âIâd like that,â you uttered.Â
âAnd you can take the blanket,â he offered when you started to fold it. âIf you want.â
âReally?â Your eyes widened in realization. âOh, my God. I took it with me earlier. Iâm so sorry.â
Bucky had to smile at the way you looked genuinely distressed, like you had done something unforgivable.Â
âItâs okay,â he said gently. âYou had a lot on your mind.â
You hesitated, but didnât set it down. âAre you sure I can take it with me?â
âYeah.â His gaze softened. âI put it back there so youâd be comfortable, and it kinda defeats the purpose if you donât use it.â
He wouldnât be there to hold you tonight if you cried again, so the blanket would have to do. It was a small piece of comfort. A small piece of him.Â
Warmth filled your eyes. âThank you.â
âAnytime,â he replied, meaning it in more ways than one.Â
He stepped out first, going to your door to open it. He didnât rush you as you gathered your things, letting you go at your pace. He understood how the body lagged sometimes after everything spilled over.Â
And his hand was already outstretched to help you out if you wanted it.Â
You took it.Â
Instead of the usual spark when your fingers touched, something steadier and grounding moved between you both.Â
It felt like your hand belonged with his.Â
It feels right.Â
He helped you out and fell in step beside you, matching your pace without thinking. Your thumb brushed his skin, making his grip tighten a fraction when he glanced at you. Faint exhaustion lingered in your body, but you werenât as tense. Your breathing had evened out.Â
The hurt was still there, but you were safe.
You made it to the door, the light above it casting a glow over you, but you didnât reach for the handle or let go of his hand.Â
The soft good nights usually happened at the car, but not tonight.Â
âThank you for tonight,â you said above a whisper.Â
He nodded, everything from the last few weeks pressing into his mind.Â
Sam on one shoulder. âBe a man and get her number.Â
Steve on the other. âYouâre allowed to want something.â
The teasing. The smiles. The protein bars. The card your niece and nephew made. The movie list.Â
How you quietly gave him your number. The careful texts. The deeper talks.Â
The way you trusted him and broke in his arms tonight.
The way you said heâs the best part of your week.Â
The way he was done pretending that there wasnât something there between you.Â
Time to erase the line for good.Â
He kept your hand in his, refusing to retreat into neutral territory. âI, uhâŚâ He rubbed the back of his neck and exhaled. âI was thinking.â
You gazed at him expectantly.Â
âI know things are⌠a lot right now,â he said, trying to be careful and not add pressure when you had so much on your mind. âWith your brother and everything.â
Your grip tightened on the blanket, but you nodded for him to continue.Â
âAnd Iâm not trying toâŚâ He huffed a little, almost frustrated with himself. âIâm not trying to make things harder for you.â
That was the last thing he wanted to do.Â
âYouâre not,â you said, stepping closer. âYou never could.â
That gave him just enough courage to keep going, taking one last deep breath.
Just say it.Â
âI just⌠I donât want to keep pretending that Iâm just your cab driver anymore. Not after tonight,â he said, his forehead almost touching yours. âBecause youâre the best part of my week, too.â
Your breath caught enough that he felt it.Â
âSo. When things feel less heavy, or you just need a breakâŚâ His heart was pounding now. âWould you like to have dinner with me?â
He didnât breathe as the question hung in the air.Â
Opening up and asking you out wasnât going to magically erase the pain or worry you felt. It wouldnât fix what was happening with your brother. But you didnât need to go it alone.Â
You stared at him, almost like you were afraid heâd take the offer back. âDinner?â you echoed.
âYeah. Dinner. With me,â he said, his voice low. âNo meter running or route. Just⌠us.â
Just the two of you enjoying each otherâs company.Â
âBecause I want to see you outside of the cab.â His thumb brushed your knuckles. âI want to critique movies and books with you and eat pizza or noodles or brinner and just talk. I want Al to finally see my favorite passenger in person.âÂ
A small laugh escaped you, the sound like sunlight appearing after a storm.Â
âBut only if you want, and only when youâre ready.â
You stared at him for a long moment before you smiled, one that reached your eyes for the first time tonight.Â
âIâd like that,â you saidÂ
The rush of relief hit him so fast it almost made him lightheaded. You wanted to have dinner with him. You wanted to see him outside of the weekly routine.Â
âYeah?â he asked, just to be sure.
âYeah,â you replied, tender and certain. âIs⌠tomorrow too soon?â
Bucky blinked, genuinely thinking he misheard you.Â
Tomorrow?
His heart stuttered. He expected an offer to check your schedule or something weeks down the line. But not this.Â
âTomorrow?â he repeated breathlessly.Â
You nodded, a tad shy. âYeah. I mean, if youâre free⌠and itâs not too fast or anything?â
Too fast?
Iâve been waiting fifteen Thursdays now for this.Â
âItâs not too fast.â He shook his head, a faint, disbelieving smile tugging at his lips. âItâs actually kinda perfect.â
âIt is?â
âIt is,â he said, more certain. âTomorrowâs great.â
Tomorrow meant you wanted this. Not just someday down the line, but now. Even with everything going on.Â
âWe can keep it easy,â he said, his thumb moving over your knuckles again. âWhatever youâre up for.â
âMovie?â you suggested, a small hint of your usual warmth slipping back in. âAnd noodles?â
He laughed. âNumber seven?â
âNumber seven,â you confirmed, your smile widening.Â
âAlright. Noodles and a movie at my place.â
âItâs a date,â you whispered.
A date.
You were still standing close. Close enough that if he leaned in just a fraction⌠God, he wanted to kiss you. More than anything.Â
The two of you took an important step. He finally stopped being a coward. You didnât hold everything in.Â
But he didnât kiss you.Â
Tonight wasnât about that.Â
His forehead, however, did intentionally brush yours this time.Â
âIâll text you,â he murmured.Â
âIâll be waiting.â
And Iâll be counting down the minutes.Â
You squeezed his hand before finally stepping back, his blanket tucked against your chest. âGood night, Buck.â
He memorized the way you gazed at him, basking in that glow. âGood night.â
You slipped inside, the door clicking shut behind you. There was no drop in his stomach. No nerves.Â
He didnât have to wait for another Thursday to see you again.Â
He finally turned back toward the cab, running a hand through his hair like he was trying to physically process what just happened.
Dinner and a movie.Â
You wanted to spend time with him.Â
âJesus,â he muttered happily under his breath as he slid back into the driverâs seat.Â
His gaze drifted to the backseat, landing on the empty space where you had been curled up just minutes ago, his blanket wrapped around you, trusting him with something rough and fragile.
When he picked you up tomorrow, you could sit in the front beside him.Â
His phone buzzed, his heart picking up before he even saw your message.Â
Of course, it was you.Â
MFP: âCurled up on the couch with your blanket. Thanks again. For everything.â
It gave him peace of mind knowing you made it into your place safe and sound since he only walked you to the building door.Â
âThanks for letting me help.â
He made a difference tonight.Â
He almost set the phone down when another message popped up.Â
MFP: âMy brother was awake when I reached out.â
He held his breath. Was he okay? Did something happen?
âYeah?â
Three dots appeared long enough that he sat up straighter.Â
MFP: âI told him weâre having dinner tomorrow, and he said heâs looking forward to meeting the guy who keeps me safe every week.â
He reread the message until the screen went dark.Â
Your brother, the one you were terrified for, wanted to meet him.Â
Becca would want to meet you.Â
He rubbed a hand over his mouth, trying to ground himself. Something earnest and dangerously close to overwhelming spread from his chest, the card on the dashboard staring at him. It brought a smile to his face.Â
âIâd be honored to meet him. Iâll have to make a good first impression.â
As a big brother, Bucky sensed and respected that he would be a bit protective of you.Â
MFP: âYou already have.â
The additional layer of assurance did wonders.Â
MFP: âGet some rest tonight, okay? Happy Friday Eve.â
There it was.Â
Soft, familiar, and you.Â
âYou, too. And itâs Friday Junior.â
MFP: âSame thing. Iâll see you tomorrow.â
âTomorrow,â he whispered, happiness filling him to the point where he thought heâd float away.Â
He shot off a quick message to the guys and Becca. âGot a date tomorrow night. Iâll let you know how it goes.â
With a smile, he put the phone away. He could already see Sam losing his mind and Steve would try and fail to act subtle about it. Becca would demand every detail after. Heâd wait until later to see and hear their stunned reactions.Â
For now, he was going to drive and get a few more people where they needed to go.Â
But not before taking one last look at your building and picturing you curled up with his blanket.Â
Fifteen Thursdays.
Fifteen weeks of watching you slip into his cab with tired eyes, soft smiles, and sweetness that made a difference in his day. Fifteen weeks of falling for you in steady increments. Fifteen weeks of chances he almost let slip by because it took him some time to feel brave.Â
And tonight he erased the line he drew in the sand for good because you mattered more.Â
You let him see you and it was a beautiful thing.Â
âTomorrow,â he said again like a promise, starting the car and pulling away from the curb.Â
Tomorrow there wouldnât be a meter running or rearview mirror glances. No pretending it was just another ride. It would just be you and him.Â
He was counting down the minutes.Â
And for once, he didnât feel like he needed to second guess any of it.Â
Whew! Did we make it? This isn't the end for these two. It's very much a beginning. Would love to hear your thoughts!
It's been so long since we've read a good James x Slytherin reader. Especially if they went from enemies to lovers and my favorite authors wrote it.
Ah, that would be so wonderful!!
Cora! â¤ď¸ I hope this scratches the itch (sorry it took so long) â¤ď¸ I believe I'm getting better at writing James and having another 10K+ word fic about him doesn't hurt. â¤ď¸ This was def more reader/James based and it's weird to not have many 4/4 Marauder interactions. Whatevs â¤ď¸
Hope y'all enjoy â¤ď¸ â¤ď¸ â¤ď¸
Power of a bonbon
James Potter x Slytherin!fem!reader
13.5k words
cw: enemies-to-lovers, typical Slytherin/Gryffindor hatred dynamic, allusions to sexual activities, unwanted advances, little bit of pining, some fluff, ig angst if you squint
There were few truly great Hogwarts mysteries left. Most things could be explained with magic and everyone just went with it.Â
The hatred that you and James Potter had for each other? No one knew.Â
James hated all Slytherins. That was understood. But what he harbored towards you was on a whole other level. It was known within two weeks of your first year that you two could not be sat next to each other nor paired with each other.Â
You didnât hate all Gryffindors. You didnât hate all pure bloods. You didnât hate all quidditch players. You didnât hate glasses or obnoxiously cocky people. You simply hated James for breathing and no one could figure out why him specifically.
âWow, they really let anyone into N.E.W.T. potions, huh,â you said, mainly to Dorcas, as James walked in with Sirius. âI suppose daddy dearest mightâve donated a pretty galleon to the school.â
James didnât say anything until he sat down. âAll rattle and no venom.â
âAnd he wishes Iâd bite him,â you retorted.Â
Dorcas laughed along with a few other students who had heard you.Â
Someone behind you explained it to whomever they were sitting with. âSnakes usually have to bite to inject venom, but itâs also a kinky thing. Like a sex thing.â
You raised your hand to your mouth to hide your laughter. Professor Slughorn chose that moment to exit his office and start class.Â
The beginning of sixth year had you hoping youâd have minimal classes with James. Less classes with his friends would be cool too, but avoiding James was your top priority. As you went through that first week, your schedules were revealed to be inconveniently similar. Whatever higher power there was hated you. It wanted to see you suffer.Â
By the weekend, the whole Slytherin Common Room knew about your predicament; you had whined about it several times.Â
âI can make him disappear for you, sweetheart,â Wilkes said, leaning forward slightly as he stood with you and your friends.Â
You squished his cheeks with one of your hands. âThank you, but then youâd get in trouble with old Dumbledore, because he loves the Gryffindors, and we canât be having that.âÂ
He chuckled and removed your hand from his face.Â
âIf you change your mind-â
âI know where you sleep. Donât worry.âÂ
âYou can always visit me there, even if you donât change your mind,â Wilkes said with a wink.Â
âIâll⌠keep that in mind,â you said before turning away from him and looking at Dorcas with wide eyes.
You would laugh about that later in your dorm. He had started slightly flirting with you last year, but it was nothing too direct or even actually asking you out. It was simply an announcement of interest. An invite to his bed was quite a jump.Â
âDo you feel woo-ed? Swept off your feet?â Dorcas asked through her giggles.Â
âI feel like heâll ask for my hand by the end of the year, even if I never step foot in his room,â you said heartily.Â
âI can see if Evan knows if his parents are trying to set him up with anyone. If notâŚâ Pandora said from where she was laying on her bed, âthat could be a real possibility.â
âWeâll see what heâs saying after Christmas,â you laughed.Â
If Pandora asked Evan, he could bring it up to Wilkes that your friend was asking about his marital status and that would let him think you were interested when you werenât, not really. But things could change over the length of a term. Maybe if he asked you out and was a decent date. As things stood at that moment, you were as likely to go on a date with him as you were with James.Â
Wilkesâ comments were about as frequent as they were in the spring, although they were more bold â like his invitation to his room. He wasnât the only one to flirt with you. Avery and Mulciber also said suggestive things to you. A Ravenclaw properly flirted with you in a more polite, let-me-get-to-know-you kind of way. A fifth year Gryffindor dared to ask you out; you declined.Â
âI canât wait for the first party,â Dorcas said one evening in the common room. âYouâre going to be snogging some bloke in the corner and itâll be the gossip of the school.â
âWhy would that be exciting for you?â you asked.
âYou could use a good snog. Youâve kissed, what, one guy? That Hufflepuff last year who dropped the card during Suck ânâ Blow?âÂ
âI stand by what I said. He did that on purpose,â Pandora chimed in.
You rolled your eyes. âYes, because that seventh year wanted to kiss a little fifth year.â
âHe didnât pull away! I swear he leaned in!â
âHe was drinking firewhiskey.âÂ
âI think my point still stands.â
âA halfway pretty girl and alcohol can make a bloke do a lot of things,â you said.Â
âHalfway pretty?â Dorcas laughed. âOne second!â She held up a finger and then turned to where some boys were sitting on the other side of the room. âOi! Is Y/N halfway pretty?â
âBloody gorgeous, and sheâd be perfect on my dick,â Mulciber said.Â
Others nodded in agreement. Wilkes made a similarly vulgar comment.Â
âGross but proved my point,â Dorcas said, turning back to you.Â
âI blossomed over the summer,â you said as you crossed your arms and leaned back into the couch. âOf course those horndogs are going to say Iâm pretty if it increases the slim chances theyâll ever get laid.âÂ
âYou blossomed in third year,â Pandora said matter-of-factly.Â
You and Dorcas both stared at her.
âWhat? I have a brother. And I may have heard things.â
By the end of the month, five different guys â not including the fifth year Gryffindor â had asked you out. You turned them down with an âIâm not looking for anything serious.â Most of them turned away, disappointed with your answer. All except Barty Crouch Jr. from the year below you.
âGood thing Iâm not either,â he said.Â
You raised your eyebrows slightly.Â
âIâm looking for something fun andâŚâ He gave you an obvious once over. âYou look like fun.â
You returned his once over with a smirk. âBetter question is are you?â
Thatâs how you ended up in a broom closet with him. He was also the one you spent most of the first Slytherin party swapping spit with. With how you acted around each other in between and after, it was clear that it was simply fun. There were no strings. No commitments. No feelings.Â
In the span of that same month, your foot got stuck in a false step, your bag ripped at the seam and all of your ink pots were suddenly spotless. Not just empty, spotless. It wasnât like the ink had spilled or dried out, or you forgot to get a refill. Each pot was pristine. It was so clearly done on purpose and you knew there was no one else to blame besides James. You had no proof of it but you knew. You did have proof that he tripped you and stole your Charms notes.Â
You were, however, the reason all of his cloaks were six inches too short and all of the covers on his textbooks were swapped. A few doors slammed shut by themselves in his face. You also ensured that he was insulted at least once a day. His looks, personality, family, intelligence, excuse of humor. Anything about him was fair game as far as you were concerned. It was practically a miracle you werenât at each otherâs throats with wands drawn.Â
âY/N, you got a minute?â someone asked as you made your way from the library back to your common room.Â
You turned to see a seventh year Hufflepuff walking toward you with an easy smile and confident air about him. You had a good feeling about what he was going to say. At least the general idea of it. He was going to say that you were pretty and smart and he wanted to take you out sometime. You prepared to tell him that you werenât interested.Â
âYouâre not seeing that Crouch kid, right?â he asked.
Apparently word about who you were snogging had traveled a little bit.Â
âNope,â you said, popping the âpâ. âHeâs just a good snog, you know?â
âWell, I wouldnât know. Iâll take your word for it though.â He reached out and brushed his knuckles against the side of your arm. âWhat about you?â
âWhat about me?â you repeated with a tilt of your head.
âAre you a good snog?âÂ
That got a short laugh out of you. âHow would I know that? I canât very well snog myself.â
âCrouch didnât tell you? Thatâs not very considerate of him. I think a lady ought to know. How about this â you come down to my dorm and Iâll tell you how you do.âÂ
You rolled your eyes. Your gut told you this was a joke, just a guy trying his hand at what he knew was a long short.Â
âI think Iâll be going back to my own dorm. Alone,â you said. âThanks for the offer.â
You started walking, but the hand that had been brushing against your arm grabbed it. Your immediate reaction was to pull out of his hand, but he had a tight grip.Â
âI could come to your dorm. I donât mind.âÂ
His smile shifted from sweet to something that put a stone in your stomach. You tried pulling away to no avail.Â
âI donât care if you mind. I mind.âÂ
âCome on, donât play hard to get.â His other hand reached for your other armâs elbow. âWe donât even have to go back to a dorm if thatâs whatâs stopping you. Plenty of broom closets between here and there. Empty classrooms. You can have your pick.âÂ
You kept trying to move away from him. Your wand was at the bottom of your bag and you knew you couldnât grab it without him stopping you. This Hufflepuff was too strong.Â
âMy pick is not you,â you hissed.Â
âIâm better than Crouch. Youâll see,â he said, forcing your body to turn toward him and then leaning in.Â
You didnât see James appear. Not until the Hufflepuff was pulled off of you and pushed to the side.
âBugger off, Knighton,â James said firmly.
When the Hufflepuff didnât leave right away, James gave his shoulder a shove.Â
âGo,â James said.Â
Knighton looked annoyed but left. Then James turned to you.Â
âYou alright?â he asked in a hushed voice.Â
You hesitated before answering, taking a moment to adjust your bag on your shoulder. You reached into it to grab your wand. If that was how boys were going to be in the corridors, youâd need to be better prepared.Â
âIâm fine. Thanks.âÂ
Of all the people to show up and stop Knighton, why did it have to be James? He probably thought that you owed him now, that you were in his debt. Youâd rather be in anyone elseâs debt but his.Â
You were visibly flustered when you got back to the common room. No one said anything as you went straight to your dorm. Barty saw you go but didnât even consider asking Pandora if you were alright. There wasnât anything between you two. The pretty girl he had been kissing was in a huff; that was something to avoid.Â
 You expected James to flaunt it in your face that he practically saved you. A few days passed with virtually no changes. He treated you like he always had. Thereâs no mention of Knighton and his unwanted advances.Â
It bugged you. Why did James bother to help you if not to hold it over you? Why would he go back to hating your guts so immediately? Something about it didnât feel right.Â
âPotter. A word,â you said after Potions.Â
He stopped just outside of the classroom. And so did Sirius.Â
âJust Potter,â you said to him flatly.Â
âYeah, I want my mate to show up to Ancient Runes alive.â
âPads, go,â James said. âI can handle myself.âÂ
Sirius looked from you to James, to make sure that he was sure, and then back to you. Then he walked away.
âNeed another rescuing?â James asked.Â
âI wouldnât call it a rescue.â A lie. âBut it is bothering me.âÂ
James let out a disbelieving huff before saying, âYou donât owe me or anything, if thatâs whatâs bothering you.âÂ
Straight to the point. It was almost funny how well James knew you. You crossed your arms.Â
âWhy did you help?â you asked, narrowing your eyes. âI thought you loved to see me miserable.â
âOnly when you bring it upon yourself. Or when I cause it.â His lips briefly curled into a smirk. âKnighton was being an arse, and no one deserves that kind of torture.âÂ
He gave you a curt nod and walked in the direction that Sirius had gone. You watched him walk away with a frown on your face. That conversation didnât soothe your thoughts. It made them worse.
So you didnât owe James anything and he didnât seem to want to hold it over you. But he wanted to be the only one to torture you? Really? It didnât make sense. You wanted to ask why. You tried to think of reasons why for the rest of the day. Nothing made sense.Â
âWhat was that about?â Sirius asked when James joined him and Remus in the Ancient Runes classroom.Â
âIncident with Knighton the other day. Itâs nothing.â
âKnighton?â Remus asked.Â
James nodded, but Remus didnât seem satisfied with that.
âWhat were they doing that she needed to talk to you about?âÂ
James looked away from the boys momentarily, running a hand through his hair.
âHe, um, was being a twat. Harassing her,â he said. âI⌠I stopped him.â
Sirius laughed, âYou stopped him? Donât you harass her every day?â
âNo, like he was forcing himself onto her.â
âHuh,â Sirius said.
âWhat?â
âNothing,â he said with a shrug. âDidnât think youâd be a knight in shining armor for her, of all people.â
âIt didnât have anything to do with her. Didnât matter who Knighton was doing that to. It was just that he was doing it.â
Remus hummed and tossed Sirius a look, which James did not miss. His friends didnât think that you had nothing to do with it.
âI didnât even know it was her until I pulled him back,â James lied.
He had heard your voice. He heard you say you didnât want Knighton and the older boy didnât back off. James knew it was you, but he stood by what he told the boys. It didnât matter that it was you. It could have been anyone and James wouldâve pulled Knighton off of them. He meant it when he said that the seventh year was an arse and no one deserved that kind of torture.Â
He just didnât linger on what he told you â that he was the only one allowed to make you miserable. He also didnât mention that to the boys. They wouldâve taken it to mean something that it didnât.Â
âWould you describe Potter as self-righteous?â you asked the girls in your dorm that night.
Dorcas hummed as she flipped the page of her Transfiguration textbook. âLots of ways to describe him. That could be one.â
âWhatâd that piece of shit do now?â Beatrice, another one of your roommates, asked.
âHe said he wants to be the only one to torture me.âÂ
âThatâs⌠something,â Dorcas said, looking up. âWhatâs the context?â
You scoffed and rolled your eyes at the memory.Â
âFucking Knighton? I think thatâs what Potter called him. Older Hufflepuff. Tried to force his way into my pants and Potter swings in ânâ makes him stop.â You shook your head. âI was going to tell him off, because I will not be in debt to Potter. And he says that heâs the only one allowed to torture me.â
âImagine if he had said he wants to be the only one in your pants,â Pandora laughed.Â
You, Dorcas and Beatrice all stared at her for a second before laughing with her.Â
âHe would never,â Dorcas wheezed.
And nothing changed. You still made it your number one mission to make James miserable, and he you. It was almost like you had an understanding. You hated each other and thatâs what it was. You were allowed to make each other wish you were never born. Whether anyone else was allowed to do that was up in the air. Boys still asked you out from time to time and you still snogged Barty periodically, but no one made unwanted advances on you. People, usually Slytherins, expressed their annoyance with James and his friends, but you were the only one who ever seemed to exact any kind of revenge on them. If you were messing with someone, James was the target.
You walked into Potions, going to take your usual spot when you noticed that not only was Dorcas not sitting there, but no one was sitting in their spots. Everyone was standing along the back wall. Someone pointed to the blackboard.Â
Assigning new seats
You went to stand next to Dorcas.
âSince when does Professor Slughorn assign seats to sixth years?â you asked quietly.
âI donât know,â she said, shaking her head. âI thought it was for a different class but Vance said she saw him writing it when she walked in.âÂ
âBut why do we need them? Arenât we all doing fine?â
âAs far as Iâm aware⌠Who knows whatâs going on in that old manâs head?â
The last few minutes before class started passed slowly.Â
âGood morning everyone!â Professor Slughorn said once he exited his office. He held a small cauldron in his hands. âGood to see everyone saw the board. Weâll be drawing numbers for the new seats.â He shook the cauldron so everyone could hear slips of paper rustling. âOne is the front left-most seat, and so on. Then seven in the second row. I donât care what order you draw in, just no switching!â He set the cauldron on the demonstration desk at the front of the room. âIf anyone ends up with who theyâve been sitting with so far, I will move you.â He clasped his hands together and smiled. âAlright, go on. We have an exciting lesson ahead of us.â
âDoubt it,â Dorcas muttered, but she led the class to the front of the room.Â
She sighed after drawing and showed you the slip. Three.Â
âFront and center,â you said.Â
You stuck your hand in the cauldron and swirled the papers around. You selected one and unfolded it. Eighteen. You showed Dorcas.
âOther side of the room. Itâs been nice knowing you.â
Dorcas only had to turn around to find her desk. You walked to the back of the classroom and began setting up. Slowly, the rest of the class picked their numbers and found their new seats. There wasnât much conversation happening.Â
âProfessor,â Jamesâ voice said. âI canât sit here.âÂ
You glanced up from your fingernails. You may have been picking at them while you were waiting. Professor Slughorn took the slip from Jamesâ hand and you were half-surprised to see him look back at you. There were two people James couldnât work with: Sirius and you.Â
âThatâs not Mr. Black there,â Professor Slughorn chuckled as he gave James the slip back. âYou two are no longer second years, Mr. Potter. I trust youâll find a way to work together.â
âProfessor,â James said, almost begging. âIâll sit anywhere else.âÂ
âMr. Potter.âÂ
James frowned. The professorâs tone said to drop it and deal with it. James walked back to your table and dropped his things on it with a thud.Â
âWow, donât act like I killed your owl.âÂ
He glared at you. âI wouldnât put it past you to.âÂ
âI wouldnât actually kill an owl,â you scoffed. âEven if it had the unfortunate fate of belonging to you.âÂ
âThis better be temporaryâŚâ James grumbled as he took his seat.Â
Once everyone was situated with Sirius sitting in spot seven, Professor Slughorn explained why they were switching seats. Part of being in N.E.W.T. level courses was being able to succeed no matter who you worked with. Everyone in the room was competent. None of them should have any issues with brewing potions if they could personally do it. Who you sat next to was a preference, but life is not about your preferences. But he claimed he wasnât cruel. He would be assigning an out-of-class project for everyone to complete with their new partner to help you familiarize yourself with each other.Â
James kept his eyes glued to his notes the whole time Professor Slughorn spoke. You watched him in your periphery. You knew youâd be fine. You were good at Potions. And you assumed James had to actually be decent enough to make it into the class, despite what you had said at the start of the semester. You knew that James was a decent student. You just also knew that it drove him crazy when you implied he paid his way through classes.Â
By the end of the period, you were ready to tell James that you could meet in the library a few times and crank out the project. It would minimize how much time you spent together. He would just have to do some extra work by himself, as would you.Â
Only you didnât open your mouth fast enough after Slughorn dismissed class. Within seconds, James was gone. You stood up and followed him out, but you and Sirius both stood outside the classroom for a second, looking for him. He really booked it.Â
Sirius glanced at you sideways. âRight⌠Bye.âÂ
Sirius met up with James in the Great Hall, where he was already shoveling food into his mouth.Â
âSo, those new Potions seats,â Sirius said as he sat down across from James at the Gryffindor table. âNot ideal, if you ask me.âÂ
âNowht idweal?â James repeated through a mouth full of food. He swallowed. âIâm not sure you saw who I was seated next to.â
âYou did rip Knighton off of her. So how bad could it be?âÂ
âYou know how bad it is.â
âYouâve never told anyone why you hate her. So, do I know?â
James shook his head. It had been pretty clear at the beginning of first year that you werenât going to talk about it and James agreed that that was the best course of action. He wasnât going to change that now.Â
âI have my reasons.âÂ
âReasons you havenât told me. Or Remus. Or Peter.â Sirius scooped some food onto his plate. âSheâs a Slytherin so I get it, but⌠I donât know. Sheâs not like Snivellus or Mulciber or Avery.âÂ
âYou donât know her like I do,â James said.
âClearly. I donât think Iâve ever seen you that miserable in Potions. History of Magic maybe, but not Potions.âÂ
You could see Sirius and Jamesâ animated conversation from across the hall. It deepened the frown that had graced your face since you exited the Potionsâ classroom.Â
âDonât let that shit get you down, lovely,â Avery said.Â
âHeâs a proper twat,â you said with an eye roll. âAnnoying that he canât seem to see that I want to be sat next to him as much as he wants to sit next to me.â
âI wouldâve thought he was smart enough to understand that you have to work together if you want to pass,â Dorcas said.Â
You shrugged. âMaybe heâll pay Slughorn off later and Iâll get someone decent⌠Actually, I wouldnât mind that.â Your face turned hopeful. âWhat do you think Iâd have to do to get him to try that?âÂ
Jamesâ attitude toward you didnât change over the rest of the day, nor did it change during the span of time until your next Potions lesson. He looked ready to completely ignore you again.
âPotter,â you said, sitting down next to him.
He didnât react.Â
âYou have to acknowledge me if you want to pass this class,â you said flatly. You saw him flex his eyebrows and took it as acknowledgement. âJust let me know which parts of the project you want to do and weâll just meet in the library once in like four weeks to combine what we got.âÂ
âIâll do the whole thing,â James said.Â
You gaped at him briefly, waiting for him to say he was kidding. James was theoretically known for making jokes all the time. But he wasnât smiling. He wasnât laughing. There were no indications that he wasnât being completely serious.
âNo? Iâm not letting you be solely responsible for my grade.â
âThen proof it when Iâm done. I donât care. Iâm just not working with you.â
You frowned. âWhat is this? Some ploy to get me deeper in your debt? First Knighton and now this?âÂ
That got James to shoot you a sour look.
âI told you you donât owe me for that.â
âI donât believe you. You wouldnât help someone like me without getting something out of it.â
âBecause Iâm just that selfish, right?âÂ
âSelfish, righteous, pompous, overblown. I could go on.â
âOf course you think Iâm all that.âÂ
âYou are.â
âKeep telling yourself that,â James said, bringing his attention back to his Potions book. âAnd you donât owe me.â
You shook your head and said, âIf I donât owe you, meet me in the library after lessons to figure out what parts of the project weâre each doing. Swallow your pride if that inflated thing can fit down your throat.â
Professor Slughorn started the lesson, allowing the silence between you and James to return. Saying that you worked together during the lesson was a gross overstatement. But, Professor Slughorn had seen that you were sort of conversing before class and he thought that was a win in his books.Â
When you were dismissed, James didnât say anything to you. He got up and found Sirius before walking out. You waited for Dorcas.
âWhereâre you going?â Sirius asked after the last class of the day when James started to turn down a different corridor.Â
âLibrary,â James answered shortly.Â
âWhy?â
âTo prove a point.âÂ
âWha-⌠actually, never mind. Iâll see you later,â Sirius said with a shake of his head before continuing on his way to Gryffindor Tower.Â
You werenât difficult to find in the library. You had picked a spot near the poisons and antidotes sections. You had the rubric laid out in front of you and a few books already pulled from shelves. Rather than saying âhiâ to announce his arrival, he dropped his bag on the table.
âActually showing up for something academic? Didnât know you could do that,â you said.Â
âIâm here so you know you donât owe me. I donât need associations with you to go beyond this stupid project.âÂ
âDonât worry, that feelingâs mutual.â You pushed the rubric toward where he stood at the edge of the table. âThe sooner we divide the work, the sooner we can leave and not work together for four weeks.â
James quickly read over the portions, which Professor Slughorn had told them to read on their own time. As he went down the page, his expression got progressively annoyed.
âDid you even read this?â he asked, putting it back on the table.
âI skimmed it.â
âWe canât work separately. Everything is⌠entangled.â
You snatched the paper and thoroughly read it until your expression matched Jamesâ.Â
âFuckâŚâ you muttered. You reread it again. âLook into the first half of the ingredients and Iâll do the second half. You book a brewing time and-â
âWhy do I have to book it?âÂ
âDonât you have quidditch and detention and whatever else you do?â
âYeah? So?â
âMy scheduleâs open. Book it when youâre available and Iâll be there.â
James made a noise that was a mix of a groan and sigh.Â
âAnd weâll go from there, I guess.â
James sat down and pulled one of the books toward him.Â
âWhy are you staying?â you asked. You had expected him to leave once he knew what part of the project he had to do.
âYou got the books. Iâm already here.â He paused. âCan you handle me sitting here or will your world implode?â
You waved your hand dismissively. âGo ahead, Potter.âÂ
You worked silently for two hours. Then it was almost time to head to dinner and James gathered the books to put them away. You waited at the table until he got back.
âSo book the brewing and let me know when. Got it?â
âYeah. Iâm not dense.âÂ
âCouldâve fooled me,â you said and then you left him to finish gathering his things.Â
âWhereâve you been?â Pandora asked when you sat down in between her and Dorcas.Â
âLibrary with Potter.â
âWith Potter?â Wilkes asked. âWhat happened to wanting him to fall off the face of the Earth?â
âOh, trust me, I still want that. Slughorn assigned a partner project and he thinks thereâs no reason James canât be my partner for it.â You looked at Dorcas. âDid you know that the whole thing has to be completed together?â
She nodded.Â
âGreat. Thanks for telling me that,â you groaned.Â
The next time James spoke to you he was telling you he booked a brewing time for 9 a.m. on Saturday. When you stared at him gobsmacked, he shrugged and said there was no quidditch game so he was open.
âAnd what about Hogsmeade?â you asked bitterly.
âThis wonât take all day. Youâll have plenty of time when weâre done.â
âJust donât be late then.â
âWhatâs that thing you say? Sooner we start, sooner we can leave? I wonât be late.â
You felt stupid for believing heâd actually be on time when you were waiting for him at 9:10 a.m. He didnât apologize when he arrived. He just threw his bag on the bag near the station where you were sitting.Â
âLetâs get this over with, princess,â he said.
âWhat happened to not being late?â you asked as you slid a note-taking sheet toward him before lighting a fire under your cauldron.Â
âOverslept. Jinx me. I donât care.â
âWow, someoneâs grumpy this morning. Iâd ask who pissed in your pumpkin juice but youâre probably into it.âÂ
âIs that fresh dittany? Instructions say it needs to be fresh,â James said flatly.
You cocked an eyebrow at his lack of response to your jab.
âYes, itâs fresh. I can read.â
He hummed and reached for a pestle to ground some moonstone.Â
The rest of the brewing session was quiet. The only talking was curt directions or comments.Â
âPass the knife.â âStir clockwise twice, then counterclockwise three times.â âDrop the shells in one at a time!â
The one time James didnât ask you to pass something, he reached over for it. He could reach it by leaning forward and over ever so slightly in your direction. The polite thing wouldâve been to ask you to hand it to him. As you had been doing for the past hour. But no. Instead, you got a whiff of his cologne, and you instantly knew that it wasnât something you could tease him about later.
It was good. Not too pungent, not gross or overwhelming. It didnât make you want to gag. It mustâve cost him a few galleons, but you thought it was worth whatever the cost. While it may not have been drawing in Lily Evans, it certainly wasnât driving away second choices for him.
The potion turned a milky color. You used a ladle to scoop a sample and let it pour back into the cauldron.Â
âThat looks right,â you said.
âGreat,â James said flatly. âBottle it and we can leave.â
You nodded and ladled a smaller portion into a vial. You stored it in a case within you bag.
âIâll hold onto it,â you told him.
You vanished the rest of the potion and walked out of the classroom. James picked the Saturday morning time, when you couldâve been in Hogsmeade. He could be the one to put away all the unused ingredients.Â
You found your friends sitting in the area outside of Honeydukes. Pandora caught you up on what you had missed so far: nothing much. James had been right about there being all day for Hogsmeade and brewing in the morning wasnât that big a deal. However, you werenât going to be the one to tell him that.Â
The boys decided it was time for lunch and led the group toward the Three Broomsticks. They were a decent amount ahead of you so you told the girls about the brewing session, including Jamesâ cologne.
âWho wears cologne to potion brewing? Itâs basically a study session. Thereâs no one to impress,â you complained.
âMaybe there is someone to impress,â Pandora said, winking at you.
âAs if!âÂ
âProbably didnât want you going around telling everyone he smells bad,â Dorcas said â she had a point. âIf what you say is true, then I wish all guys had the same taste. Averyâs is-â She shivered. â-horrendous. I have to brace myself every time he sits next to me in the common room. Which! has increased so much this term. And he doesnât know what personal space is. Pandora, do you remember when I was sitting on the couch with you and Evan and he decided that there was space for one more? Ugh, I swear he was trying to pull me into his lap once he weaseled his way in.âÂ
âOh, yeah. That was uncomfortable. Like, I like my brother. But I was sitting a bit too close for comfort.â
âAveryâs the problem," Dorcas said, shaking her head. âWhat do I have to do to get him to see Iâm not interested in the likes of him?â She sighed exasperatedly.Â
âOr any him,â you laughed.
Dorcas hit you with her shoulder. âShut up.â
âTell him you prefer blondes with choppy layers. And in Gryffindor red. Oh! Tell him you love a quidditch player and if he asks which team, you can tell him âNot yours.ââ
âShut up!â Dorcas whined playfully as she grabbed your arm, blushing furiously. âI hint at who I like once and this is how you treat me!â
âHint? You practically spelled it out for me. And you ogle her every chance you get.â
âItâs not my fault sheâs proper fit. I mean, come ooon, her arms? FuckâŚâÂ
âYou need to freshen up before we risk running into her in the Broomsticks?â you teased.
She hit your arm again.
âIâm fine. Thank you.â
The next week passed without noticeable incident. It was the usual treatment from James, except slightly less. James was over his you-limit by the time he got back to his dorm. He didnât want you to take up any more of his time after seeing you all day, so he didnât prank you or anything that required planning. Snarky comments and insults were on full blast, though.Â
You agreed to meet in the library after classes on Friday. He had no quidditch practice since the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff teams booked the pitch; they had the weekend match. Once again, James had no problem finding in you the library. You had sat in the same spot. And once again, you had already gathered all the books the two of you could possibly need and then some by the time he arrived. As you reminded him, the sooner you started working, the sooner youâd be done.Â
You exchanged minimal comments throughout the hour, only notes and pointing out sections within the books that the other might need for their section. You were amazed at his ability to hold his tongue. It was probably the most pleasant interaction the two of you had ever had.Â
Saturday brought decent weather. The Slytherin section was distracted for most of the quidditch match, not paying attention nearly as much as they would have if their housemates were in the air. You rarely paid attention to quidditch even then. It was the atmosphere that you came for. You didnât need to care about what got other people hyped to get high off of their energy.Â
Plus, today it didnât matter who won. Youâd end up at a party afterwards either way. Pandora had friends in Ravenclaw and Hufflepuffs let just about anyone in, as long as you werenât going to tattle on the contraband they managed to get their hands on.Â
It wasnât surprising that Pandora was more excited than any of your friends when Ravenclaw won. She grabbed Dorcasâ and your hands to drag you down to the pitch. She needed to talk to her friends. Once they figured out what time you should head up to the tower, you returned to the castle.Â
A few hours later, Pandora and Beatrice were leading the group up what felt like ten thousand and one stairs.
âThey gotta stop hosting their parties in their common room,â Dorcas grumbled.
âAlmost there!â Pandora called over her shoulder.
She was correct. Another one-fourth turn around the spiral and you were at the top. Pandora reached up for the eagle knocker and it gave you a riddle. Your group stared blankly at each other. Then the door opened by itself. Or so you thought until what looked like a second year peered out.Â
âPandora?â she asked.
âHi, Bethany!â Pandora said with a bright smile. âCan we come in?â
The younger girl returned her smile with a nod and let your group in. As with every party, you were met with music and the smell of butterbeer and something more alcoholic. And as always, your first stop was the drink table. You decided to play it safe with a plain butterbeer. Maybe youâd have something harder later, but right now you wanted a clear mind.Â
As you were taking your first sip and glancing around the room, an arm wrapped itself around your waist.Â
âBit of a boring drink, sweetheart,â Barty said.Â
âIf I start with troll vodka, Iâll be hurling before the fun really starts.â
âWe canât be having that.â
You looked up to smile at Barty and he was already looking at you, smirking. It was clear that he wasnât leaving your side tonight. His hand didnât leave your side as you moved to stand by Dorcas and some of her other friends. The spot also happened to have a clear view of her favorite Gryffindor. Marlene was just a group over.Â
When Barty did leave your side, it was when you had finished your drink and you asked him to grab you something.Â
âTroll vodka, right?â
âMhmm.â
Beatrice gave you a sideways glance. âI thought you werenât looking for anything serious.â
âIâm not?â
She tilted her cup in Bartyâs direction.Â
âLooking serious to me.â
âItâs not,â you said flatly. âDo you see him talk to me when heâs not latching onto me?â
Beatrice and Dorcas exchanged a look as Barty returned, handing you your drink and wrapping a territorial arm around you. You rolled your eyes before murmuring thanks to Barty.Â
You stood by what you said. There were no strings with Barty. You were⌠party buddies. When you wanted someone to snog or to dance with, you could go to each other, knowing the other would say yes. And you wouldnât be upset or mad or anything if he decided to go with someone else â the same applied to you for Barty.Â
Slowly, Barty moved from standing next to you to standing behind you, holding your hips. You were mid-sip when he dipped his head to ask if you wanted to dance. You lowered your drink to nod and then you slammed the rest. You moved over to where other students were dancing. As usual per these parties, the raunchier you danced, the closer to the middle you were.Â
You and Barty ended up dead center.Â
During your talking with friends, James and his friends showed up. If there was a party, those boys would be there. Unless it was being hosted by Slytherins in your common room; they werenât welcome there. The boys mingled and drank, and Sirius got a group of people around him as he retold a story of nearly getting caught by Filch when he was out of bed after curfew â he was embellishing, of course. Peter and Remus disappeared to talk to some Ravenclaws that they were closer to.Â
James wasnât like you. He didnât start the night with a butterbeer. The boys had taken a shot in their dorm before coming to the party and now James was on his second drink. He didnât really need the extra courage that the alcohol gave him, but he wasnât shying away from it. He didnât need to ask anyone to dance with him. He just moved into the dancing crowd when he didnât feel like listening to Siriusâ story anymore.Â
Some girl started dancing closer to him. James didnât know her name off the top of his head, but he knew that she was a seventh year Ravenclaw. With her, James got moved from the outskirts of the circle to a layer or two inside. He caught a glimpse of you and Barty in the middle. Every so often there were cheers and wolfwhistles.Â
You were enjoying yourself to say the least.Â
James couldnât say the same. He looked away from you, tried to focus on the pretty girl in front of him. But then thereâd be cheering again and heâd look at you and let his gaze linger longer than he meant to.Â
It didnât feel right to him. Something was off with your dancing. He couldnât exactly put his finger on it. Was it how Bartyâs hands were feeling up your body? Was it how you were pressing your body against his? Was it just a bit too much for a school party?Â
James stopped trying to figure it out. The more he tried to figure it out, the more he was looking at you. In the end, he decided that it was because you were who you are. Thatâs why he didnât like it. He wasnât too big a fan of Bartyâs but he also didnât know Barty all that well.Â
After a while, you tapped out. You got yourself one more drink and sat near an open window that was attempting to cool the room off. You surveyed the party as you sipped. Barty was nowhere to be seen once you stopped dancing and didnât indicate you wanted to kiss or do anything more. Younger students had started heading to bed. Some Ravenclaws were leading their partners to their dorms. Slowly, the number of people in the room dwindled and you joined those leaving.Â
There was one thing caught in your mind as you trekked down to the Slytherin Dungeons. You had seen James look at you while you were dancing several times, and it wasnât a quick glance. You never made eye contact, but he was watching you.Â
Obviously other people watched you and Barty, but it was strange that you caught James doing it so much.Â
Sunday had you working on assignments you had put off. You didnât do anything else after working on Potions with James in the library so you had a fair amount to do. At least you got to sleep in before you claimed a table in the common room. Regulus Black, Barty, Evan and Pandora joined you. You and Pandora laughed behind your hands as Barty grumbled to Regulus that he didnât need to turn in an essay. He claimed his grade was fine and he was going to get an O on the upcoming exam.Â
âJust sit down and pretend to be productive,â Regulus retorted before mumbling, âFucking degenerate.â
You got more homework done after lunch and you called it quits, heading back to your dorm for a nap. You relaxed in your room for a while and then you went back to the common room. Dorcas had come to find you so they had another player for Exploding Snap.Â
Your morning classes on Monday passed in a blur. It was just professors, lectures and turning in assignments. It wasnât until Potions that anything amusing really happened.Â
James was already sitting at the station, leaning his head on his hand and looking like he was struggling to stay awake. It was the perfect opportunity to mess with him.Â
âDid you see something you liked Saturday?â you whispered in his left ear, the opposite side of where you sat.Â
He jerked wide away. He took a second to gather himself, processing where he was and what you had said to him.Â
âEvans was looking ravishing,â he said with a nod in Lilyâs direction.Â
You hummed. âYou werenât staring at her though.â
âWho was I staring at then?â
âMe.â You grinned at him with a teasing look in your eye.Â
âHuh⌠I think youâre imagining things, L/N. You might have actually lost your mind.â
âI know what I saw.â
Rather than pay attention to what Professor Slughorn was saying during the lesson, you thought about the party. Some part of you didnât mind that James had been staring. It wasnât that you wanted him to be staring at you; you wanted him to have some kind of negative emotion. He was just jealous that someone was touching you, dancing with you, being with you in the ways that he wanted with Lily. How could it be that you got it while he didnât?
You had another library session scheduled with James early in the week. You got some of it in classes, but since your comment, James was uncomfortable. When you were sat across from him in the library, you could feel it radiating off of him. He wouldnât look at you. You suspected that he was trying to make up for staring at you during the party.Â
Every time you spoke, he jumped. He reread sections like three times before anything stuck, and you could tell that he was rereading pages. You didnât say anything about it though. You still wanted to get a decent grade on this assignment and you wouldnât get it if James was even less focused than he was now.Â
Donât tick him off⌠Itâs only thirty more minutes⌠you told yourself.Â
So you worked. You passed him notes to add to his section. He took them and added what was needed to the essay. It was a tense thirty minutes.Â
Thursday had you holed up in the library again. Sixth year wasnât taking it easy on you. You had gone straight there after classes, barely left to get dinner, and then you were back at your table. No one bothered you and you liked it that way. You were exhausted from classes and endless assignments. When you nodded off into your book, you took that as a sign that you were done for the night. You packed up your things and left the library.
Despite all your yawning, you decided to take the long way back to the common room. A little bit of walking was good to clear your brain.Â
It practically happened in slow motion. James turned the corner. He mustâve come from quidditch practice since his hair was damp and he was wearing a tight athletic shirt. You understood what Dorcas meant by quidditch playerâs arms. You raked your eyes over James before you could stop yourself, and judging by the smirk on his face when you reached the top, he saw.Â
Great.
âDid you see something you liked last night?â James teased when he sat down for Potions the next day.Â
You hummed. âIf it was anyone but you⌠maybe.âÂ
You werenât going to deny that James had an attractive body. It didnât matter though since the personality that came with it was horrendous. You had never really considered James to be attractive, despite seeing other girls drool over him. You didnât see much of a point to considering if someone was attractive if you despised them.Â
You groggily dragged yourself up to the Potions classroom. James claimed it was the best time for the second brewing portion and you could meet up with your friends in Hogsmeade afterwards. Why he moved it up an hour when he was late to the first one was beyond you.Â
âMorning,â James said when you walked in at 7:59 a.m.
You blinked slowly with a blank expression. You slowly walked over to the station and put your stuff down.
âYouâre early,â you grumbled.Â
âSooner we start, sooner we finish. Right?âÂ
You hummed and pulled out the instructions for the sessionâs potion. James had gathered most of the ingredients that youâd need. He reached under the cauldron and lit the fire. For the rest of the brewing, you exchanged minimal words. You brewed. You both took notes. You both marked areas of the essay portion of the project that would need to be reworked. After the plangetines dissolved, James rolled up his sleeves and lowered the flames of the fire so the potion could simmer. You didnât let yourself look at his arms again. You wouldnât let him have the satisfaction again.Â
James sighed and leaned back in his chair. âYou can leave. Iâll sit here until it turns purple, note it and clean up.âÂ
âAnd why would I trust you to do that?âÂ
âBecause I need to pass this class just as much as you.â
âYou would tell Slughorn that I sabotaged it and left before it exploded or whatever you have planned.â
You stood up to put away the extra ingredients. You werenât stupid. You needed to be here until the brewing was done to ensure that it was done. You took a deep breath. When you turned back to the station, James was standing.Â
âYou donât need to be so cynical. You know that, right?â he asked.
âIâm not cynical. I just know that I have to be cautious when Iâm around someone as arrogant and selfish as you.âÂ
âIf you got off your throne, princess, youâd see that people like me have a lot to offer. Everything Iâve done here is based off merit. My father hasnât paid an extra knut to Hogwarts to further me or get me any special treatment or whatever you think happens.â
âMaybe so, but that doesnât give you the right to be so boorish.â
âBetter boorish than haughty.â
âThat implies I think Iâm better than everyone,â you said with a shake of your head. âI know Iâm not, but I do know that Iâm better than you.âÂ
James took a step toward you and you squared your shoulders and stood tall. You wouldnât be intimidated by the fact he was taller and more physically fit than you. He stared at you for a moment. Then he grabbed your face and kissed you.Â
Of all the things you thought James wouldâve done when he stepped toward you, that was not it. The surprise of it had you frozen for a few seconds. Then you shoved him off of you and stumbled backwards a few steps â away from the simmering potion, thankfully.Â
âWhat the fuck, Potter?â you spat. You stared at him, somewhat expecting an excuse or a harsh laugh. He just wiped his mouth. âYeah, you can clean up,â you said before grabbing your bag and bolting out of the classroom.Â
***
You were eight and holding onto your motherâs hand as you walked into a large office building. You werenât sure where you were or necessarily why. You knew it was something for your fatherâs work. And that meant you had to be on your best behavior, not that you were an exceptionally unruly child.
Your father shook hands with a man dressed in a suit. Your mother smiled at him and he led you into a large room filled with other people. The thing that caught your eye was a snack table. You tapped your motherâs arm and pointed to it when you got her attention.
âGo ahead,â she said.Â
You dropped her hand and went to get yourself something to eat. You figured it was going to be a rather boring afternoon. The least you could do was enjoy one of the pastries and a handful of sweets. When you turned around with your snacks, your parents had moved. You scanned the room looking for them when you saw a small group of kids. Most likely other children dragged along for whatever this was.Â
âCan I sit?â you asked.Â
âDepends,â a boy with glasses and dark hair said. âWhat do you know about quidditch?âÂ
You furrowed your brows and frowned. âBrooms and three kinds of balls? My dad listens to the Kites.âÂ
âSit. James doesnât control the table,â an older girl said, patting the top of the chair next to her.Â
You sat down.
âKites arenât terrible,â James said. âNot as good as the Broomfleet, but they could be worse. At least they arenât the Quafflepunchers.â
âWhatâs wrong with the Quafflepunchers?â you asked.Â
âBesides their uniforms? Theyâre obnoxious. They donât treat the game like the art that it is. Horrendous plays and style. I could go on.â
âHm, donât?â you said.Â
A few of the other kids laughed as James frowned, leaning back in his chair. A different girl changed the subject and everything seemed fine. Hogwarts came up at one point, and everyone was saying which house they wanted or thought theyâd be in. You didnât know. Maybe Ravenclaw.Â
James laughed. âIâll be in Gryffindor. No question about it. Best of the houses, if you ask me.â
âI mean, I think we were asking everyone,â you said.
âSo?â
âYou didnât need to say âif you ask me.â Thatâs all.âÂ
âI was stating my opinion.â
âI got that.âÂ
There was a tense moment at the table.Â
Then the older girl said, âI go next year. Both my parents were in Hufflepuff so I assume Iâll be there too. What Iâm excited for is my own wand!âÂ
A younger boy said he couldnât wait to go because his parents promised him his own owl and they werenât budging on letting him get one sooner. Again, conversation continued and everything was fine.Â
James got up and went to the snack table. You followed, having finished all of your snacks a while ago.Â
âAre you following me?â he asked when he noticed you were standing next to him, looking over what treats were left.Â
âYou think youâre as important as bonbons? Please, as if.âÂ
James poured the rest of the plate of bonbons onto his paper plate.
âHey!â you complained. âYou donât need all of those.â
âWho are you, my mother?âÂ
âCan you share? I just said I wanted some.â
âNo.â
âYouâre that selfish? Geez.âÂ
âI got here before you did. Deal with it.âÂ
You reached for a pastry, but before you could grab it, James snatched.Â
âThis is mine too.â
âWhatâs wrong with you?âÂ
âNothing,â he said with a smile.Â
âMum would call you a wild animal. No mannersâŚâÂ
James took a bite and then said, mouth full, âAt leasbt I fen make frens.âÂ
âI have friends!âÂ
He swallowed. âImaginary ones donât count.â
He walked back to the table where you had been sitting. Your mother saw you and called your name. Apparently it was time to leave.Â
âI hope that wasnât too boring for you,â your father said as you left the building.Â
You shrugged.Â
âOne of the boys wasnât nice,â you said.Â
âI hope you were,â your mother said.Â
âI tried to be.âÂ
You really had tried, but James seemed to think his opinion was fact and that didnât bode well with you. He took all the bonbons and essentially called you friendless. He was rude. Plain and simple. You hoped youâd never have to see him again.Â
When James left with his parents, they asked him if he behaved. Fleamont and Euphemia adored their son, but they were aware that his mouth needed some work. James nodded. He figured heâd never see you again so he didnât need to talk about you to his parents. He didnât like how you always had something negative to say after he said something. He may have taken the snacks you wanted, but you were rude.Â
As you both stewed on it, you both decided individually that if you did see the other ever again, youâd be sworn enemies. You didnât need to associate with that kind of person.Â
***
You didnât go to Hogsmeade. You sat in your dorm until dinner, and even then, you ate as quickly as you could. The girls asked what happened to meeting in Hogsmeade and you told them you werenât feeling well. It wasnât a lie. James had kissed you. James. You didnât know what to do with that. You loathed each other; he only proved that he really was as rude, if not worse, as he was at eight. So why was he kissing you?Â
Another issue: there was a spark of something there. That brief kiss with James felt nothing like kissing Barty, nor that older Hufflepuff last year. What was that?Â
James took his time cleaning up the potions after it turned purple. He made sure to take detailed notes. He slowly walked up to Gryffindor Tower to put away his things before joining his friends in Hogsmeade. He had kissed you. You. He couldnât explain why he did it, not really. You had just been standing there, insulting him and in a huff. When he took a step toward you, he meant to intimidate you. But then you straightened your back, put your shoulders back and stared up at him. It was⌠hot.Â
You had never been hot before. This was new. He couldnât explain it. It was an impulse in the moment, and to make it all worse, he liked it. A lot. He couldnât shake that feeling.Â
Throughout classes on Monday, you and James canât look at each other. To everyone else, this isnât anything new. To Slughorn, itâs a step backwards from the progress he thought the two of you were making with the project. Sure, you still seemed to hate each other, but there was talking. Heâd heard from Madam Pince that when you were in the library together, you werenât loud or fighting.Â
In Potions, you both had scooted your chairs to the edges of the station. You wanted as much space between you as you could. Youâre grateful that it was a lecture rather than brewing. There was no way youâd be able to work on a potion with James. Not at that moment.Â
âLibrary after classes, right?â you asked, standing up but not leaving the classroom once you were dismissed.Â
James nodded. He didnât look up to see you nod as well. Then you were gone.Â
âMate, you ready? Iâm starving,â Sirius said, standing next to him.
âYeah. Yeah, Iâm ready.âÂ
That class had been as close as heâd been to you since the kiss. Every shared class before Potions, and then after Potions, you made sure to be as far away as possible. It probably seemed normal to everyone else, but James knew that there was a new reason for it. At least you were still meeting in the library later.Â
You were sitting at your usual table when James got there. You already had everything out. He sat down next to you rather than across from you, as heâd done the previous times. You donât look at him. You expected him to get to work. Sooner you start, sooner you finish was the motto of this project.Â
âAbout Fridayâ he started to say, but he stopped when your hand suddenly gripped his wrist.Â
âWe are not talking about that in the library. Not now.â
âBut weâre going to-â
âNo.â
âY/N,â he said, almost pleadingly.Â
âYouâre a right git.â You stood up and shoved all of your stuff into your bag. âI think we have enough to get a P.â
You didnât care that you got no work done. You thought you could handle an hour in the library with him. You shouldâve been working on the project with a table in between you. You hadnât been planning on him sitting next to you and wanting to talk about the fact that he kissed you.Â
You left the library. James hadnât taken anything out so he got up and followed you right away. With his longer strides, it didnât take him too long to find you.Â
âWait!âÂ
You didnât slow down. That just meant James had to quicken his pace to catch up.Â
âY/N!â
âWhat?â you spat as his hand grabbed your shoulder, forcing you to stop walking.Â
âI⌠I justâŚâ
You raised your eyebrows and lowered your chin, silently telling him to get it out. Except he didnât say anything. He lowered his head and captured your lips in a kiss. It was shorter than the first one. You stepped backwards.
âFuck,â he breathed. He took a step back and ran a hand through his hair. Then he pointed at you. âWe need to talk about that.â
âYour inability to not kiss someone?â you asked, ignoring the way your heart was pounding in your chest and your lips tingling.Â
âThereâsâŚâ He wagged his pointer finger at you.âThereâs something there. And I donât think we can ignore it.â
âWhatâs there is you not being able to keep it in your pants,â you said.
âNo,â he said, shaking his head and taking a step toward you. âThis is new. I havenât felt this before.â
You scoffed. âWhat do you mean?â
âPlease, donât be dense. Iâve kissed someone to get my rocks off. Because I thought theyâd taste good. You⌠Itâs not that.â
âItâs an established hatred.â
âNo. I thought it was, but⌠no.â
âNo? Then pray tell, Potter, what is it?â
James should have given you an answer. Thatâs not what he did. He kissed you again. He brought his hand up to caress your jaw and he slowly tilted your head back. You couldnât stop yourself. You kissed him back. There was a thud as his bag fell to the floor, and then you felt him lifting yours from your shoulder and letting it slide down more gently. His hand that wasnât holding your face found your hip and moved your body closer to him. You didnât know when you started holding onto the sides of his shirt. Apparently your subconscious knew that you shouldnât actually touch him. James seemed to have no problem with touching you though.Â
When he pulled back, James rested his forehead on yours, breathing heavily and letting his hand fall from your face. You gave him a few seconds to see if he would say anything. He didnât. He was staring into your eyes like he was searching for something. You turned your body to move out of his hold on your hip and grabbed your bag. Within seconds, you disappeared around a corner and James was left alone.Â
He ran a hand through his hair. You kissed him back this time, so why were you running away? You kissed him back so you must feel something too. He wasnât imagining that there was something there. Well, he knew he wasnât imagining it for himself, but he felt so sure that you felt something too. There was no way that this was only affecting him.Â
He stood in the corridor for a few minutes before deciding to go back to the library. He could get some of the work done without you. He owed you that much, since it was sort of his fault that you left the library.
There was a change in the air between you and James. It was palpable to just about everyone. Things had been bad between you before. Tense. Unfriendly. Frigid. This was different.
Before, you always knew how to act around James. You were always preparing something snarky to send back to him. Not now though. You were terrified that James was going to try to talk to you and end up kissing you again. And it was terrifying because part of you wanted him to.Â
James was trying to figure you out in a way he never had before. He wasnât trying to figure out the best way to push your buttons. He was trying to understand your reactions to him kissing you. You hadnât hexed him or slapped him. You left. He swore it was different than what went down with Knighton. It had to be. He also was trying to figure out how someone who used to make his blood boil on sight suddenly made him feel the need to hold you close.
âYou good, Prongs?â Sirius asked when James walked into their dorm after lessons were over.Â
James had been sneaking glances at you all day since you gave him no chance to talk about what happened yesterday. Sirius wasnât blind; he noticed that James wasnât not paying in the same way as he usually was.Â
âCourse. Iâm brilliant. Never better,â he said, not fully meaning it, and Sirius could tell.
âYou havenât asked your dearest Evans out lately,â Sirius said as he adjusted how he was sitting on his bed. âI think I saw her eyeing you today. You might have a real shot if you do it right.â
James set his bag on top of his trunk and ran a hand through his messy hair.
âI donât think Iâm going to her out anymore.â
Remus looked up from where he sat at his desk. âYouâre not?âÂ
âNo.â
âWhyâs that?â Peter asked.Â
âSheâs⌠uh, not the one, I guess. I only needed to be shot down a thousand and one times.â
âUh-huh,â Sirius said. âSo who is she?â
James quirked an eyebrow.Â
âThis new girl youâve got your eye on. Must be some kind of goddess if she has you dropping Evans.â
James took his glasses off to clean them with his shirt. The boys knew he was stalling; he rarely cleaned his glasses. Then he walked back across the room to the door.Â
With his hand on the knob, he said, âItâs Y/N.â
He left the room as quickly as he could. His friends didnât waste a second jumping up and running out of the dorm. They stopped James before he reached the bottom of the stairs.Â
âY/N? As in Y/N L/N?â Peter asked, slightly out of breath.Â
James nodded.Â
âWha-When did this happen?â Remus asked.Â
âIâm not sure. It just did.âÂ
âBut you hated her?â Remus said.
âI kissed her. Three times,â James said, starting to push past his friends. âExcuse me.â
Then he fully moved past them and finished going down the stairs. While they followed him into the common room, they didnât follow him out of it. They watched him go, each dumbstruck.Â
âHe kissed her?â Peter asked.
âThree times?â Sirius added. âWho is he?â
âNo way she kissed him back, right?â Remus finished.Â
You werenât handling it any better. You sat on your bed, picking at your nails as you replayed every interaction you had with James, how horrible he was. And then you compared those memories with how he kissed you. How you liked it. You felt disgusted with yourself.Â
âWould you mind sitting in the common room?â Pandora asked.
You stopped picking at your nails. âWhy?âÂ
âYou got bad energy. Canât focus with it in here.â
Dorcas perked up, propping herself up on her elbows rather than trying to nap. Pandora was exceptionally gifted with reading peopleâs energy. So if she said you had bad energy, you usually had something to get off your chest.Â
âSo what is it?â Dorcas asked you. âDid you get a detention we donât know about?â
âNo.â You knew that it was pointless to not tell them. Theyâd get it out of you anyways, or youâd have to sit in the common room, which was a far more public area than you wanted to be in. âItâs James.âÂ
Pandora set her quill down. You said James, not Potter. She clarified anyways.
âAs in James Potter?âÂ
âMhmm.â
âWhat did he do this time?â Dorcas asked with a sigh.Â
She and Pandora exchanged a knowing look. They thought he did something perfectly normal but youâd make it sound like he murdered kittens for fun.Â
âHe kissed me.âÂ
âHe did what?â Pandora gasped as Dorcas sprung up from her bed and launched herself onto yours.Â
âAnd I think I liked it.â
Dorcas grabbed your face and held it close to hers. âJames Potter, the boy whose throat youâve had your wand at since first year, kissed you?â
âWhen?â Pandora asked.Â
You removed Dorcasâ hands from your face and scooted toward your headboard to make more space for her on your bed.Â
âUm, Saturday, and twice yesterday.â
âSaturday? Thatâs why you were in a funk?â Dorcas asked and you nodded.Â
âWait, wait, wait, you said you think you liked it,â Pandora said, getting up and joining you and Dorcas on your bed. âDo you fancy James?â
âI⌠I donât know.âÂ
âHow do you not know?â
âPan, Iâve hated him since we were eight. It was always pure, unadulterated hate. And⌠I donât know. Suddenly, heâs not horrible looking and heâs kissing me and itâs a hell of a lot better than Barty.âÂ
Dorcas pressed her lips together before asking, âMaybe Bartyâs a bad kisser?â
You shook your head. âNo. Heâs good. Trust me. That boy knows what heâs doing. I enjoy kissing him. But James⌠Potter⌠Itâs better. I donât know how to describe it.âÂ
The other girls waited for you to continue, even though they both had endless questions.Â
âI⌠I donât even know if he hates me anymore. Which I guess raises the question: why did he kiss me in the first place? He called my cynical and haughty literal seconds before he kissed me. Who does that?â
âAnd what about Lily Evans?â Pandora asked. âHasnât he been obsessed with her since forever?âÂ
âI thought so,â Dorcas said.Â
âIf he still fancies her, why is he kissing me?âÂ
âWhoâs to say he still does?â Pandora asked.Â
A moment of quiet passed.Â
âSo what am I supposed to do now?âÂ
Dorcas laughed. âSweetie, you know we canât really answer that for you.â
âIâd say you need to decide if you still hate him,â Pandora said. âAnd thatâs not something we can advise on, not really.â
So you stewed on it. You had started hating James when you were eight. You probably hadnât changed much between eight and eleven, but you had changed a fair amount between then and now. Was there a chance that James had too? Had James changed for everyone but you because of your vowed hatred? Was there a chance that if you stopped lingering on what you said when you were actually children that something else could be there?Â
Once again, there was an obvious change in the space between you and James. You were neutral toward each other. No scathing exchanges. No glares. Nothing. You entered classrooms at your usual times, and you didnât seem to mind when James entered as well. You would go as far to say that you worked well together during your next Potions lesson. Slughorn smiled at that. While things were calm, you didnât really talk all that much.Â
Until the end of Potions on Friday.Â
âWe still need to finish the essay,â you said as you put your things away. âI know you have quidditch tomorrow, so I was thinking we could meet in the library on Sunday.âÂ
âIf⌠if we happen to lose, we could do tomorrow.â James looked up as you stood up. âNot that Iâm planning or expecting to lose. But you never know⌠Hufflepuffâs seeker could catch the snitch before I score twenty times.âÂ
âYeah⌠okay.â
You turned to walk away. Jamesâ chair scraped the ground as he pushed back from the station.Â
âYouâll be at the match?âÂ
You turned back. âYeah.â
âGood,â he said with a nod and small smile.Â
It wasnât a smirk nor cocky grin. It was a genuine smile, like he couldnât hear better news than the promise of you being at the match and possibly watching him. Â
For the first time since your first year, you truly paid attention to the match. You watched James as diligently as Dorcas watched Marlene. In the past, you wouldâve never dreamed of telling James that he was actually as good at quidditch as he boasted. Now, you were debating it. His ego didnât need the boost, but it could be an olive branch.Â
You wanted Hufflepuff to win. It wasnât so that James would lose though. Heâd be less surrounded by people if Gryffindor lost and youâd be able to find him easier, with less people watching. That part scared you a little. What were people going to think when they saw you and James being nice to each other? Not that your image mattered that much. It was more the gossip and whispers that Hogwarts was known for that bothered you.Â
To your dismay, Gryffindor won. That meant every Gryffindor and then some were going to be surrounding James. You walked with Dorcas down to the pitch. She had started talking with Marlene a little bit after classes and had more courage to talk to her. While she entered the herd of scarlet-clad students, you stayed on the side, a few steps away. You crossed your arms.Â
James had been easy enough to spot. He wasnât the tallest of the team but he had a certain energy that was reflected in those congratulating him. Marlene was nearby. When he saw Dorcas with her, he looked around. You were usually around Dorcas; he had seen you standing with her in the stands. And there you were, just outside of everyone.Â
He shot a grin at you. You returned it with a tight-lipped smile and small, quick wave. James was about to start walking toward you, but you looked away before heading to the castle. His smile flickered. Then he turned his attention back to the people in front of him.Â
You worked on homework and played Exploding Snap with your friends. Slytherins didnât go to Gryffindor parties.Â
James enjoyed the party. He did. He always did. He loved when the whole house was having a great time. There was butterbeer and snacks for everyone, and alcohol for the older students. People were playing games and dancing. It was loud and wonderful. James was usually in the middle of it all, taking shots with the team and being as loud and rambunctious as he pleased. But not this time. Instead, he was sat on one of the couches, nursing a butterbeer. He was still enjoying everything around him, but his mind was elsewhere.Â
It was lingering on your smile, your little wave. The fact that you had come down to the pitch. If you hated him for kissing you, you werenât showing it. He could talk to you tomorrow.Â
James met you in the library after lunch. Same table as always. He walked up to the table, standing at the chair to your left.
âCan I sit here?â he asked.Â
You looked up from the essay section you were reading.
âOr I can sit over there, if youâd prefer,â he added.Â
âYou can sit here,â you said.
He sat down and started taking his things out of his bag. He was prepared to work with you and focus solely on the project for Potions. At least he was sitting next to you and you werenât grimacing at his presence.Â
âSo⌠last weekâŚâ you said, not looking up from the essay.Â
James froze.Â
âYou, um, you said there was something here?â
James stumbled over his words, âOh, um, I-I, well, yes. I did. I did say that.âÂ
âDo you know how to⌠describe it, um, without kissing me?â you asked.Â
You thumbed the corner of the parchment in front of you. It was better than looking at James at the moment. Jamesâ face tinged red. He ran a hand through hair and chuckled nervously.
âI think there is,â he said. âI, um, I kissed you to be sure. And Iâm sorry about that. Itâs just, with everything between us⌠I wasnât sure what I was feeling.â
âOkay⌠And you were feeling⌠what?âÂ
âWell, itâs certainly not the hatred I was feeling for years,â he said with a soft chuckle.Â
âClearly.âÂ
âI donât know when it changed exactly. Itâs still a strong feeling, but⌠the opposite, I guess.â
âThe opposite,â you repeated.Â
âYeah.â
There was a moment of silence between you.Â
âSoâŚâ James flexed his hands on top of the table. âYou did kiss me backâŚâ
âRight. I did.âÂ
âSoâŚâ James repeated, except this time he didnât say anything more. But he did turn his head slightly to see your face. Another moment of silence. âDo you⌠feel⌠something?â
âItâs⌠not hatred.â
âOkay.âÂ
You swallowed, still looking at the parchment in front of you.Â
âYou played well yesterday,â you said, which most certainly didnât help James understand where you stood.Â
âThank? you?âÂ
âI was going to tell you yesterday.â
âWhy didnât you?â James asked, thinking back to your little wave.
âYou were-â You gave your hand a small flourish in front of you. â-in the middle of it all.â
âI couldâve come to you.â
âRight, because Gryffindorâs star chaser exchanges pleasantries with his Slytherin nemesis.â
âNemesis⌠Are we still that?â He ran a hand through his hair. âI donât know if-â
You cut him off. It was one fluid motion, you rising slightly from your chair, putting your hand on his cheek to turn his face toward you and then leaning in to kiss him. James was almost immediate to kiss you back.Â
After a few seconds, you pulled back and he leaned in further, trying to continue. You sat down with your gaze straight ahead, feeling mortified. Had you really just initiated a kiss with James Potter?Â
You cleared your throat. âSorry. Madam Pince will, um, kick us out if she sees.â
âRight, she would do that,â James said, adjusting how he was sitting.Â
Silence.Â
âI need to know. If itâs not hatred⌠what do you think this is?â James asked you.Â
âConfusing. Itâs confusing.âÂ
âUm. Okay⌠One secondâŚâÂ
James quickly stacked the few things heâd taken out and put them at the corner of the table. Then he leaned over you to do the same thing to your stuff. You watched him. He turned his chair to completely face you and then he turned your chair for you, with you still in it.Â
âTalk to me, sweetheart. Whatâs confusing about it?âÂ
You let out a short laugh. He had to be joking, right?Â
âWeâve hated each other since the moment we met? And now weâre kissing?â You shook your head. âI canât make it make sense.â
âWell, I feel strong emotions toward you and I think you feel strong emotions toward me. We both think the other is strikingly fit and kissing you isnât like kissing anyone else. So, in my most humble opinion, I think we should see what happens.âÂ
âThose strong emotions havenât been positive, like ever. And so what if we both hit puberty? That happens. It happens to everyone.â
âSweetheart, not everyone looks like you though.â
âPotter.â
âSorry.âÂ
âYou say you want to see what happens. I donât even know if I can like you. Weâve never been friends. If we⌠dated-â The word came out weird as your brain tried to comprehend the idea of you and James together. â-Iâm almost positive it would go up in flames.âÂ
James hummed. âThereâs that pessimism.â
âOnly when it comes to you.â
âWhat do I have to do to get you to take a chance with me?â He grinned at you while taking your hands in his. âTo admit that maybe we were wrong about each other all this time?â
You took a minute to think. James kept his eyes on you, patiently waiting and calculating what else he could say to convince you that he really thought the two of you could make it work. He genuinely believed that if you both felt something, it was worth a shot. Plus, he figured, you already knew each other quite well from having to learn what ticked the other off.
âAfter we finish this project, admit that youâre not as important as bonbons and get me the bowl of them you stole from me.âÂ
âThey werenât even that good,â James said.Â
âWell, I wouldnât know that, now would I?âÂ
He chuckled and then brought one of your hands to his lips.Â
âI will never measure up to a singular bonbon.âÂ
summary: When you take a shower after a tiring day, Sergei comes back home to surprise you.
(1634 Word)
At Nova's (@novaawayne) request, I hope you like it, sweetie.
Iâm quite shy about making requests, and I feel pretty rusty doing it myself, but hear me out...
The scene where Dmitri comes out of the ba
Sergei had been away for a long time. He had business as usual. You never questioned much. Somewhere you knew the answers, but you also knew it was better not to ask. You thought a hot shower would loosen you up and help you fall asleep faster as the longing seeped into every fiber of your being.
You turned off the lights in your penthouse apartment, small but with enough space for you. You light one or two candles to create a calmer atmosphere and escape the tiredness of the day. The smell of the candles instantly permeated the small apartment and the dim light lulled you into a little bit of a stupor.
You get rid of your clothes and turn the water to the ideal temperature. Finally, before entering the shower, you found one of your favorite playlists on your phone and turned it on. You let the sound of the music diffuse into the environment just like the scent of the candles. When the water was warm enough, you got in and let the tiredness of the day wash away. Once you were satisfied that you were sufficiently soaked, you lathered yourself up. You let the vanilla and cinnamon flavored shower gel envelop your entire body. You tried to console yourself with the thought that Sergei had touched you wherever the lather reached.
You continued to cover yourself in bubbles until the thoughts became more and more desperate, until the longing filled your whole soul and reached your core. Desperate, you slid your hand down your body and began to rub yourself with your fingers. You accelerated your movements as the pressure became insufficient. Finally you gave up when a moan of frustration escaped your lips. You used to be able to satisfy yourself. Then you met him and all the things he could do to your body. After Sergei, nothing could ever replace him.
You took a deep breath and decided to sleep tonight in disappointment. You rinsed your whole body one last time with warm water and turned off the water. You decided that the best thing to do was to wrap yourself in a bathrobe and spend a girly girl night in bed watching 'Sex and the City'
As soon as you opened the shower door and stepped out, you felt a pair of strong arms wrap around your waist. As your scream escaped your lips at the powerful sensation, your body betrayed you by the familiar warmth and instantly began to relax. You stopped screaming at the sound of laughter behind you and the warmth of breath on the back of your neck. A pair of full lips pressed a faint kiss to his neck.
âI'm sorry to scare you, my love, but I miss you so much.â
As soon as you heard Sergei's voice, you left his arms and immediately turned around to meet his eyes. Your breathing became ragged as you felt his blue eyes on you again. Your eyes welled up and you didn't want him to see you like this, so you wrapped your hands around his neck and buried your face in his strong body.
"Hey ŃовгиНиП, won't you let me see your beautiful eyes?â
You let out a deep sigh, still holding on to Sergei's strong grip. You buried your face in his chest, feeling it rise and fall with each breath. The rhythmic sound of his heartbeat brought you back to peace. âCовгиНиП, I heard the moans coming out of your beautiful little mouth.â She sighed with disappointment. âWere you touching yourself while I was goneâŚâ Shaking her head no, you pulled back to meet your eyes.
âSergeiâŚâ, your heart, filled with longing and need, couldn't form a coherent sentence. More like a whimper escaped your lips. âY/N, ŃовгиНиП,â he took a deep breath and re-established eye contact. âWe talked about this.â He moistened his lips with his tongue, as if he couldn't decide exactly what to say or do. âWe agreed that you would wait for me, didn't we?â His voice was not angry or resentful. Every word came out of his lips with great care. You nodded quickly in agreement. âI miss you, I knowâŚâ he interrupted with urgency. You were in no position to continue explaining yourself when his tongue slid into your mouth.
Finally he pulled back to let you breathe. After his eyes lingered on your lips for a while longer, he made eye contact again. âI know, I know, my dear.â He leaned in again for a small kiss. Then he continued. âBut I thought we agreed on this, no self-pleasuring without me.â He waited a moment to make sure you could understand his words. âAnd there must be some punishment for breaking the forbidden, right?â
You gasped with excitement and anticipation. Your heartbeat quickened. âAnyway, I couldn't do it without you, these,â waving his fingers in the air, âwere a disappointment.â He couldn't hold back his laughter at your words. âI missed you, Sergei,â you said, leaning in closer after accompanying his laughter.
He knew it, but your confession reawakened more primal feelings in him. His breathing changed for an instant. You could feel the intensity in their flow towards you, as evidenced by the amber color of their eyes. You could bring out the animal in Sergei. And you were always proud of it. The so-called âhunterâ turned into a lion when he was with you. Your lion.
"Y/N" Sergei made a sound mixed with a growl. He could feel his hands trembling. He could feel the tiny ants moving in his stomach.
Finally, he took a few steps back and leaned himself against the sink. With his hand he pulled you towards him. Step by step you let the towel you were wrapped in slip from your body as you approached him.
Sergei held his breath, watching your skin being exposed second by second. He was mesmerized by your perky breasts, which were not too small.
A mischievous smile appeared on your face as your towel fell completely to the floor. âShould I be afraid, Mr. Kravinoff?â you asked coyly when Sergei gave a grunt mixed with a growl.
Sergei leaned down and kissed your lips. âMaybe you should be a little scared.â
When Sergei was about to pull back, you put your arms around his neck and pulled him back to you. Both of you were making unexpected moves at an unexpected moment.
Your hands ran through your lover's hair while one of his hands had already found his chest.
Sergei pulled back and this time began to run his lips over the fully exposed breasts. At first he ran his lips over the beginning of the breasts, where they began to rise slightly. Then, when this was too little, he supported your breasts from below with his hands and raised the tips higher.
He wasted no time in cupping the tips of her breasts with his lips as his eyes glowed with the pink he saw on your nipples.
His eyes glowed with the pinkness he saw at the tips of her breasts and he wasted no time in grasping the nipples with his lips.
You were trying to stop your moans with Sergei's every movement.
Your biggest moan came when Sergei crushed your nipples with his teeth. âShh, beautiful, you have to be quiet, we don't want to wake the neighbors.â You had no idea how to be calm and quiet. Sergei was all over you.
Sergei's fingers moved to your waist. His lips trailed warm kisses down to your crotch.
He stepped back for a few seconds as if he wanted to memorize every detail of her body. And he studied every inch of her eyes. It wasn't the first time you were naked in front of him. But you blushed every time he looked at you like that. Finally, he decided that he had examined you enough and said âokay, it's time for us to be equalâ and took off first his t-shirt and then his boxers and pants.
When he leaned in to kiss you, you pulled back. When he looked at you confused, you bent down. As he looked at you with disbelieving eyes, you moistened your lips with your tongue and reached for your favorite dessert. Sergi's eyes had both pride and disbelief in them, but it didn't last a minute. He was already saying something incoherent as you started to lick your man.
"Oh, there's a good fuckin' girl," he groaned, collecting whatever hair he could in a makeshift ponytail; looking down his nose to watch you. His cock was overwhelming, but you were determined to earn the pleasure he would surely bring; mouthing around his cockhead, using one hand to pump what didn't fit, the other alternating between holding his hairy thigh for balance and cradling his balls.
A few times, you held his eyes with yours as you removed his cock with a pop; licking his shaft up and down like it was a popsicle on the Fourth of July. His jaw would clench each time, sputtering his breath. His veins were pulsing, prominent under the skin; making your cunt contract as his throat bobbed as he swallowed harshly, groaning.
âCome here before I lose my mind,â he said, pulling you to your feet.
He chuckled and reached down to help you up, instantly searing you in a wet, messy kiss as he backed you into the sink counter; tasting himself on your tongue. It was erotic, something you were vastly not used to - no man ever being okay with you kissing them after having their dicks in your mouth.
Except your wild lion.
And you knew that your lion was hungry and this was just a preparation for dinner.
Hi! Would you ever consider do anything that was Aaron Taylor Johnson x reader? (his celeb self I mean.) Maybe something like theyâre working on a movie together (y/n is younger) and get to be friends and then something transpires between them? Ahh!!
Aaron Taylor-Johnson x Fem!Reader (Young Actress Reader - Request)
MY MASTERLIST! - EVENTS! - HOME!
This is an original story and may not be copied or translated into another language without permission!
warning: claustrophobia, age difference, dirty language, nickname, divorce, coworker, action scene, car accident, creep, expectation.
summary: You're doing test shoots for action scenes with the lead of your new movie. You always thought you were like a sister to her until you find out that he is now a single man.
(2632 word)
Hope you like it sweetie, I try the write as soon as possible :) @smallmarvel
It was one of the new weeks in your new project. The reading rehearsals had been over for a few days. But post-production had taken a long time. Or maybe it's because it's your biggest project and you've never experienced this kind of crew and work discipline before.
The cast had been in camp for months and all of them had been working out constantly to change their bodies for their roles. In the last days you have been working on your choreography. Your screen time would be about fifteen to twenty minutes, but the opportunity to work with such a cast made it all worthwhile.
You had two fight scenes, one big and one small. Although it wouldn't be right to call them both fights. Generally the bad guys were chasing you and our hero was there for you, but there were still moves you had to memorize.
When you first read the script, you thought that since it was an escape scene, it wouldn't challenge you and you would just run. But it wasn't like that. You had to jump, jump, sometimes crawl and even fight one-on-one. To make the scene more realistic, you were choreographed to fight for your life. At first you hated it, but once you learned the moves and started doing them much faster, you started to enjoy it.
Today was the day of the test shoot.
It was the first time you and the rest of the crew would act out the scenes together. Of course you had all met each other. You had rehearsed readings, the director had organized some nights for you all to get along better. One of them was a movie night where you watched some of the old crappy horror movies. It was a milestone day when you couldn't be afraid to laugh and you started to feel comfortable around each other as a team. Another night was a silent movie night. It was through events like these that you formed good friendships.
Aside from being friends with the crew and spending time together, today was the first day you were going to be in front of the camera. And it was for the fight scene. You were the last name in the cast and you were the least famous of them all. In direct proportion to that, you were not the main female character of the movie, but all your scenes were with the hero of the movie, the leading male character. Aaron Taylor-Johnson, who is going to save you from the bad guys in today's the test shoot.
Aaron was a very funny and kind man. He would come to your workouts to make you feel comfortable, give you feedback and often praise you on how well you were doing. In addition to these interactions, he was usually quiet on set. He would share a laugh with certain people, but he was very kind to the whole set and the staff. A true English gentleman.
When you arrived on set, you put on something comfortable. Leggings, a sports bra that covers your breasts and makes the whole action scene easier for you, and a loose t-shirt with the logo of your favorite band. Since it was a test shoot, you were wearing air force sneakers. You were determined to at least make this test as comfortable as possible until the main shoot.
Aaron came into the field right behind you. He was similarly dressed in comfortable clothes. He arrived in gray sweatpants and a basic t-shirt. They rocked back and forth with their hands in their pockets, talking to the director about the scene. You'd have to be blind not to notice the movement of his muscles with each swayâŚYou reminded yourself that you were a married man and tried to focus on your scene.
After he finished talking to the director, he came up to you and said, âGood morning, baby.â He pulled you into a hug. You knew he gave you that nickname because of the age difference. You reminded yourself that there was nothing to be excited about and accepted his hug.
When he pulled back, with an energetic smile on his face, he asked, âAre you ready for today?â His smile must have been contagious because you were smiling back. âAs much as I can,â you replied, shaking your legs - in a pose as if you were about to run a marathon.
His grin was still on his face. âWe'll try not to push you too hard today, but we still want to go through all the scenes. But if there's any scene or movement that makes you uncomfortable, we'll definitely stop shooting,â he explained with great care. You had to admit that you were very lucky to be working with someone so kind and understanding. âThanks Aaron, I really appreciate it, but I don't think we'll have any problems, we've been rehearsing these moves for weeks.â You reassured him. âHoney, the shot might feel different though, remember to stop if you have trouble.â He insisted. âI promise I will stop the scene if it feels uncomfortable,â you reassured him. All the while trying not to get hung up on the new nickname...
The first test shoot went quite well. The more complicated scene was next, but you decided to do it tomorrow. Or rather your director decided so. This decision was made because he wanted to shoot tomorrow with full make-up and clothes. Because it is necessary to decide whether the costumes in the movie will cause any problems in the scene and choreography and what precautions should be taken if necessary. So tomorrow you will enter the set as if you are shooting the first scene of the movie. Lights, camera, makeup, hair, costume⌠Everything you can think of will be prepared. To be honest, you're very excited about it.
But this was tomorrow's subject, today's subject and a new movie night. The leading lady of your movie had invited everyone who was doing a test shoot today to a movie night at her house because her house was quite close to the set.
You decided to change at the set before going back to the hotel and go with Aaron. Because he had arrived by car and you didn't want to waste time looking for a taxi.
The ride was peacefully silent until the sound of Aaron's cell phone connected to the car filled the air. âExcuse me, this is important. If you don't mind-â As soon as I saw the word lawyer appear on the screen, I said, âNo, no, please. I don't mind at all.â
When he picked up the phone, the loud, booming voice of the lawyer on the other end filled the car. âHey, buddy, how you doing?â Aaron's fingers were turning white as he gripped the steering wheel. His grip on the steering wheel was tighter than it had been since he'd called the lawyer. âPlease give me some good news Kev,â his lawyer, Kev - you probably think it was Kevin - noticed Aaron's nervousness and started to chuckle. âRelax man, you're a single man now. Sam accepted the deal and signed all the papers. Congratulations man, enjoy your new life.â Aaron let out a deep breath at the sound of the phone hanging up. âI'm sorry this is really-â before you could finish the sentence Aaron's laughter filled the car and you heard him say something like 'oh shit' but you didn't dwell on it. His happiness was contagious and the awkward silence in the car was gone.
You couldn't say the same about movie night, though. They had chosen a really terrible movie this time and you were constantly screaming and disturbing the whole crew. One or two people who were really enjoying the movie were a bit annoyed by this, but the crew was having a lot of fun with your reactions.
When the lead role was finally placed alive in the coffin, you felt your breath catch in your throat. âI think I-â the incoherent words came out so quietly that no one even realized you were about to have an attack of claustrophobia. As soon as you started to fidget on the couch, an arm grabbed you around the waist and pulled you towards him. You couldn't see who it was in the dark room. With one hand still on your waist, he grabbed your neck with his free hand and held you against his chest. You immediately inhaled the familiar scent. You relaxed yourself in the safety of the warmth. âShh, calm down doll, I'm here.â His low voice and the sound of him moving around your waist were enough to calm your nerves. But his lips barely touching your ear sent a shiver down your spine. You were about to remind yourself that this was wrong when you remembered that he was now a single man.
When you arrived on set, you went straight to your trailer for makeup. While you were lost in the memories of yesterday, your makeup was finished and your hair was being done.
Shortly after the movie ended, you and Aaron said goodbye to your friends and left. You were staying in the same hotel, so you went on the car ride together again. He made fun of you a little during the ride and finally you agreed to watch a comedy movie together. When you arrived at the hotel, he insisted on escorting you to your room even though your rooms were not on the same floor.
After opening the door to your room, you wished each other good night. Before you parted, you shared another hug. It was the longest hug you had ever shared. Sure, it was a minute hug, but it usually lasted no more than a few seconds and no, every time you hugged Aaron you didn't calculate how long it lasted. âGood night, baby,â he whispered in your ear as his hand circled your back. Then he left after leaving a vague kiss on your burn.
While your hair was being done, you were drowning in memories. You told yourself you were exaggerating, after all, he always called you baby. You were like his little brother, that's what you had been telling yourself for weeks, except you didn't know then that he was about to get divorced and that he was now a single man. Yes, there was an age difference, but it wasn't twenty years. You were just a couple years younger.
You came out of your daydream with Aaron's voice. âHello baby,â he winked at your image in the mirror. âGood morning Aaron,â you smiled. When you were called from inside to put on your costumes, you waved âSee you in a minuteâ and headed towards the cabin.
After changing your clothes, you took one last look at your image in the mirror and went to the set area. It wasn't a superhero movie so there were no weird tights and uncomfortable costumes. It was a chase scene where you would be chased by the 'bad guys' after you left work and then it would take place on the streets of the city. He was wearing tight fabric pants, a white shirt and stilettos. When the scene first started you would run in heels. Then you could switch to sneakers because they would not be visible in the camera angles. But neither the shoes nor the shirt made you unhappy. The only thing that bothered you was the lacy bra. You were looking for the comfort of your sports bra from the day before.
On the director's orders, you started the test shoot. You came out of your model building, realized you were being followed while walking down the street and jumped into the first taxi you saw. The team chasing you rear-ends your taxi with the car they are driving and you get stuck in the vehicle. At this moment, Aaron arrives and performs the fight scene with the men chasing you. After he rescues you from your trapped position, you take him by the hand and run together. At this point you were planning to change your shoes but you didn't want to stop shooting and you wondered how long you could go on.
After all, it was a test shoot. If you failed, you wouldn't try something like this next time. As you ran hand in hand, your heel caught on some fake stones. As Aaron checked you were okay, you gave him a sign that you could continue. As you continued your scene, you realized that the shoe was hurting you now. And the more you stepped, the more it hurt. But you were still shooting and you didn't want to give up on the first try.
You squeezed the hand that Aaron was holding. Immediately he turned to you and a low whimper of âAaron,â escaped your lips. He immediately checked you with his eyes and tried to figure out what was wrong. âI don't think I can go on in these heels much longer,â As he was about to signal the director to stop the scene, he shook his hand once more and said, âPlease don't stop the scene, we are almost finished. I don't want it to be cut because of me.â As you were quickly looking for a solution, the camera was coming towards you from the backstage area.
As you wondered what to do, you felt yourself being swept off your feet. As you let out a little scream of surprise, you could tell that your director was enjoying the moment and was pleased with the image that was being captured on camera. Aaron embraced you bridal style. And he was running towards the area where your final scene would take place. âWhat are you doing!â you whispered after your astonishment had subsided a little. âI couldn't let you writhe in pain Y/N,â she said, giving you an angry look. âOh, I thought you would enjoy watching me writhe in painâŚâ you snapped.
When you got to where you needed to be, he took you off his lap and you did the moves you had memorized for your scene. With the fake explosion planned on the set, you ducked down and crawled together to where you were supposed to hide. The camera went back to filming the extras fighting. You had time to lie down for a few minutes.
You tried to forget the pain in your feet as you lay on your back where you were crawling. You were a little stressed by the narrow space you were in, but your breathing was regular.
As the shouting and explosions continued in the background, Aaron crawled to where you were. Since you had decided to lie on your back, he was now standing over you, leaning on his elbows. He never took his eyes off your eyes for a moment. âI enjoy you squirming Y/Nâ he said, and you realized that he had returned to the previous conversation. âBut I'll make sure it won't be in pain.â Your breath began to betray you as his gaze slid to your lips. He leaned in even more, closing the distance between you a little more. âBut I will also show you that we are away from the cameras,â his words sent a shiver down your spine and a warmth to your core.
He immediately noticed when you involuntarily squeezed your legs together. He leaned down until his lips touched your earlobe before leaving his spot for his scene. âI knew you were made for me, baby.â He said. And he left his location to continue shooting. Leaving you there to daydream with all your wetness and anticipation.
eventual james potter x fem!reader; inevitable angst and annoyance as james slowly matures over his time at hogwarts. slowburn. total word count: 56.3K
NOW, dear readers and followers, I want to share a fanfiction I read in one sitting yesterday.
The incredibly talented @marauroon has woven this story together with great skill.
The story consists of seven chapters, each describing a year at Hogwarts. As you read each chapter/year, you grow with the characters. You fall in love, you hate, you drown in homework stress, and you experience all the ups and downs of friendship.
I never imagined this story would draw me in so much. I thought I'd read it to pass some time, but now I can't get it out of my head, and I think I'll read it again from the beginning.
The childhood excitement and arrogance of the early years leave a sweet smile on my face, but especially after the fifth chapter, the fifth yearâlook, I can't describe it, you have to read it ! Each year is so appropriate for that age. We experience childhood, then adolescence. Priorities and worries change, and it's all so naturalâso typical of that age. Even though the last two chapters / last two years are amazing, my heart is still in the sixth chapter/sixth year :))
YOU HAVE TO READ IT. I DON'T KNOW HOW ELSE TO PRAISE IT!!
I'm not sure if this counts as a mini spoiler, but even though the reader is a Gryffindor, being in the Gryffindor common room gave me peace. And yes, as a fiery Slytherin. THIS PERSON KNOWS THEIR STUFF!!
P.S. Sorry, but I think you'll be seeing me in your wish list for a while because I'm currently experiencing the excitement of discovering an amazing author.
Series Summary: You have been best friends with the Marauders since you were in nappies, and you've loved James Potter for just as long. However, when he start dating his long-time crush Lily Evans everything is different now.
Summary: Because of an incident with Snape, feelings between you, James, and Sirius become even more complicated than they were.
Genre: Fluff, angsty
Warnings: friends to lovers, unrequited love, misunderstanding trope, violence, harassment, Snape is a little shit, James is oblivious, James x Lily, James is jealous, MESSY (this should always be a warning lol), conflicting emotions
ONE / TWO / 3 / 4
Charms class is usually your favorite class. It's your favorite because for seven years, you've had Charms with James. You can still remember how, knowing you were nervous for your first class in first year, James had enchanted a paper crane, a smiley face with the words; "you're amazing," scribbled on the inside. He'd sent you a wink from across the room and the class had gone smoothly. That was the moment you realized something was different.
The moment you started loving him.
This year, Lily Evans is in your class too. Now, the seat next to James that was once engraved as yours is hers. And as some form of torture, you're sitting at a nearby desk, watching them smile and share love sick giggles, which each feels like a dagger to your heart.
"Y'a know, you should just consider what I have to say," Severus Snape murmurs from beside you, nails scratching the wood of his desk. His voice is low, sharp. His hair hangs oily over his cheekbone, and he's watching James and Lily like a snake waiting to strike. "You want James, and I want Lily. I don't understand what you don't understand, Y/l/n?"
"Shut up," you mutter, returning to read the lesson as you pull your book closer to you, flipping a page. You'd been partnered with Snape this time around, which was worse than torture.Â
Severus just leans closer, his breath against your neck. "I guarantee you, the moment lover-boy over there," he nods towards James, "finds out you and I are dating, he'll be falling all over himself to chase you instead of Lily. It's pathetic, really, how quickly he'd abandon whatever fairytale he thinks he's built with her for a shot at having you."
You recoil inside, his words making you sick, but don't give him the satisfaction of a full reaction. You don't even look at him when you say, "You shouldn't talk about things you don't know, Snape. It makes you look stupid."
Severus laughs, low and bitter. He rambles; "Is that so? Well, I'm not as stupid as you, Y/l/n. At least I'm not the one living in some fantasy where I think no one loves me. Oh poor Y/n, so alone. You're too blind to see the truth." He leans in, his lips so close to your ear you shiver, "I see the truth. How you've got those two blood-traitors wrapped around your little finger. And yeah, I don't know why. You're nothing special."
You freeze, tensing up. Does he mean Sirius? "You're a liar," you rasp.
Then his hand latches onto your arm. Tight. Unrelenting. He yanks you closer. His hold on you is so hard it's painful. He looks angry. Angrier than you've ever seen him. "I am not a liar. You must really be stupider than you look," he hisses.
You narrow your eyes, pushing him away. "You're hurting me. Let me go," you demand, slipping a little from the stool you're sitting on as you yank away from him.
And then, the stool titters backwards, and you fall.
Your head hits the floor, disoriented from the fall, and you gasp as you sit up, staring up as Severus hits the ground as well, blood pouring from his nose. A heavy book floats momentarily in the air before crashing onto his hand with a sickening thud.
He yelps in pain.
You look around. No one understands what just happened.
"Y/n!" Lily exclaims. She's suddenly kneeling at your side. "What happened?" Her gaze darts from you to Severus. There's something odd in her gazeâlike some distant concern for him but she pushes it down.
You wonder if, in some other reality where she wasn't dating James and Snape wasn't such a prick, she might have run to him instead.
James stands behind her, his fists clenched. His ears are pinker, and he looks furious. He's glaring at Severus and your stomach churn. You lift your hand and touch where your head is throbbing. Your gaze follows his arm before he can hide it in his robe.
You swear you saw his wand.
Did he enchanted the book that had taken Severus down with you? Did he hurt him on purpose? He doesn't even look sorry. You look at Severus again. You wince as he smiles eerily through bloodied teeth, as if he'd planned this and somehow won.
Your head spins.
Later, you sit quietly in a hospital bed, your spoon swirling in untouched pudding as you stare at the old tiled floor. Sirius sits up from the bed beside you, still recovering from his injury. He seems surprised to see you back so soon.Â
"What's with the ice?" he asks casually. "Did ya miss me that much?" His grin fades when he notices your expression. You look confused, maybe. Sad. Angry? He isn't exactly sure.
"I bumped my head," you whisper.
"Oh?" He leans in. "How'd that happen?"
You hesitate, not wanting him to worry. "I tripped in the hallway because of my shoelaces."
Sirius chuckles, and raises an eyebrow. "Or me thinks you just subconsciously want to spend more time with me."
You don't respond, but you crack a small smile. You look up at him and he catches the smile instantly.
"Aha!" he exclaims, pointing. "I love that smile."
You pause.
"Yeah?"
"Of course I do. It's yours."
Your cheeks heat up like they're on fire. You're certain you're about to explode as Sirius keeps smiling at you in ways that confuse every feeling you've known. However, the feeling quickly disappears when James rushes in. He's alone and he looks concerned.
"Is your head okay?" he asks urgently, standing way too close as he cups your cheeks, inspecting your head. You stare at him, unsure how to respond to his worry.Â
"Um, yeah," you nod, your voice squeaky, glancing nervously at Sirius. "Charms isnât over yet. What are you doing here?"
James frowns, opening his mouth to explain but the arrival of another student interrupts you. It's Severus. He's groaning and holding his hand, which is still bleeding. The one that had been mangled by the book. He'd refused to walk to the Hospital Wing with you, but it seems his injury warranted a trip anyways. Madame Pomfrey rushes over to him the moment she sees his hand and ushers him to his own bed on the opposite side of the room.
"Bloody Hell, I don't care if Charms isn't over. I wanted to see you." James mutters, his thumb stroking across your cheek.Â
"What happened to that wanker?" Sirius asks casually, looking toward Severus, the spoon of his own pudding dangling from his mouth.
"I crushed his hand with a book," James says in a whisper, his gaze hard.
Your heart drops. "James!" you reprimand him, your voice squeaky again.Â
He'd actually been the one to do it.
"You did?" Sirius half-whispers back. He looks confused and slightly proud.
You grab James's arm, turning him to look at you again. "Why? Why would you do a thing like that?!" you demand, sounding stern and James's hazel eyes soften. He brushes your hair gently from your forehead, brushing his thumb on your eyebrow now. "I saw him, Bug. He hurt you. He put his hands on you."
"What?" Sirius exclaims, narrowing his gaze now. "Y/n said she tripped."
"Nah, that blimey git was being a real prick. I had to teach him a lesson," James snorts, looking at Sirius and he looks proud of himself now.Â
Sirius looks a little hurt, his attention on you now. "Why would you lie to me about something like that?" he asks seriously.
"I didn't want to tell you," you mutter. Severus's previous words ring in your ears.
"And why the fuck not?" Sirius demands. He sounds more urgent now and James looks confused by the sudden shift in mood.
"It doesn't matter, I'm fine. It didn't need to be mentioned because it wasn't a big deal and you don't need to be so worried. Both of you." You stand up and James gives you some space.
Sirius shakes his head and tries to stand as well until Madame Pomfrey's voice interrupts his plans; "Mister Black, you stay in that bed." Sirius ignores her and tries to follow you out as James does the same.Â
"Sirius, you shouldâ" James whispers, turning to stop him.
"Y/n, wait," Sirius calls but you've disappeared. Sirius pauses, feeling James's hand on his shoulder. James sends his best friend a sympathetic smile.Â
"I'll talk to her," James says and motions towards the hospital bed. "Just focus on getting better, okay? She'll be alright. I'll make sure she is." Sirius's jaw clenches but he nods, he knows running after you isn't the best thing to do.
Plus, you'll listen to James more than him.Â
Outside in the hall, James runs after you, catching your arm. "Hey, Bug, please. Can you hear me out?"
You turn, looking more than a little annoyed at him. "You really hurt Snape. I was fine, you didn't need to make such a fuss. What did Lily say?"Â
James laughs. "Bollocks, he was being a real shit," he says as he walks closer, his hand still on your arm. "I did what I did to protect you. I don't care what Lily thought, not in that moment."
You look at him, your heart pounding in your chest. "Protect me? I'm not yours to protect."
James frowns, his hand faltering on your arm. "What? You're my best friend," he justifies. Your heart feels heavy and you can't tell if he truly doesn't understand what he's saying or he's messing with you. He drops your arm and reaches for your cheek, moving closer, and you don't dare push him away.
"I adore you," he whispers, leaning over you as he plays with a strand of your hair. He's so close. Your eyelids flutter. James barely processes it himself as he leans in, his lips so close to yours. He isn't thinking. This just feelsâright.Â
"You're my best friend and Iâ" he repeats, eyelids closing as he almost kisses you.
You turn your head, your palms pushing on his chest as you catch your breath. "Yeah. I know I am. I'm your best friend, Jamie, not your girlfriend. Lily is. You should remember that," you say, your voice low, watching his eyes open and he looks ashamed. He pulls away, blushing. It breaks your heart to push him away but you have to.
For Lily's sake. She deserves better than whatever this is.
"I- I'm sorry, I shouldn't haveâ" he starts, looking around awkwardly.Â
You nod, a horrible pit forming in your stomach. "Yeah. I know. It's okay," you say.
"It didn't mean anything," James adds, almost in a panic, and he says the words as if he's trying to believe them himself. As if he knows he's lying. But you believe them and you feel like crying.
You back up further against the wall and nod, biting your cheek. "I know, James. I won't tell Lily. Promise."
For a while now, I haven't been able to update any sections, nor have I been able to log in and read the content I've tagged and followed. All that aside, I haven't even had time to log into the platform for weeks, to be honest.
Unfortunately, my personal life and work schedule have been very busyâthough, from my perspective, these were very valuable and beautiful days. However, that doesn't change the fact that I've been away from you all.
I've returned to the country I currently live in, and it doesn't look like I'll have many visits or trips ahead of me for a while. So, I'll be around here.
I've missed you all so much.
My priority is to read all the notifications that came in while I was away, and I'm proud to say there are quite a few.
After that, I'll get back to the stories as soon as possible.
Hey sweetie, as news about the new series comes in, my excitement is reaching fever pitch. And I think this is the first time in my life that I'll be looking forward to a James Potter story.
Before Lily and James' relationship began, the marauders could make a bet among themselves. Within a certain period of time (it could also be a specific event, such as a deadline), would James be able to charm a Slytherin girl and kiss her?
If we're talking about marauders, this Slytherin girl might have a last name starting with 28âjust to make things even more impossible :D
Throughout this process, the reader might start to develop feelings for James and then find out after the kiss that it was all just a bet. (I admit I've been watching too many classic teen movies lately)
Any happy or unhappy ending is acceptable to me.
If you like the idea and writing it is okay with you, I'm eagerly awaiting it.
Cora â¤ď¸ I have finished this! I'm not the most happy with the ending? It feels rushed to me, but I also cannot write conversation for the life of me today so it is what it is.
Hope y'all enjoy â¤ď¸ â¤ď¸ â¤ď¸
Getting a girl
James Potter x Flint!reader
5.2k words
cw: fluff, angst, unhappy ending
It was only 8:30 p.m. when James tucked himself into bed. He was feeling defeated.Â
After dinner, he had gone with just about everyone else in his year outside to one of the courtyards to enjoy the warm evening air. He had been feeling good. Morning practice had felt rewarding and classes were a breeze. So, he decided to try his luck, once again, with Lily. He walked over to the girls.
âEvans! How are you this fine evening?â he asked, running a hand through his hair before leaning against one of the stone columns.Â
She barely looked up from her conversation. âBetter before you opened your mouth.â
âWell, I can make it up to you. Letâs go for a walk, just you and me. Iâm sure the grounds look almost as lovely as you do.âÂ
âIâd rather eat Marleneâs vomit. No thanks,â she said with an annoyed expression. âCome on.â
She grabbed Marlene and Mary and walked away from James. He stood there for a moment. She had turned him down time and time again, but for some reason, this one hit him right in the chest. It strangled something within him. It didnât make sense that her simple refusal made him feel like this. He sighed and gave his limbs a little shake. He returned to his friends for a little bit, not feeling into being around people. Then he headed to his dorm alone.
His friends werenât oblivious to his sudden mood change, and when they came into the dorm to see him already in bed, their suspicions were confirmed.
âSulking over your Lilyflower?â Sirius asked, leading Remus and Peter toward Jamesâ bed.Â
James made a groaning noise.Â
âYou know there are other girls out there. Other fish in the sea. Or, I guess, other flowers in the garden?â Remus asked, sitting down on Siriusâ bed.Â
âSure, but itâs not like James could woo them if he wanted to,â Peter said.
âWhat do you mean? Heâs a proper catch!â Sirius said, defending James for him.Â
James moved slightly so his face wasnât buried in his pillow. He groaned again.
âThen why canât he get a girl?â
âNot that he canât. He just doesnât want any one beside Evans,â Sirius said.
âI think itâs canât,â Peter said, crossing his arms with a smirk on his face. He didnât mind playing devilâs advocate; it was fun.
James sat up. âI can get a girl.â
âYeah? Care to prove it?âÂ
âPick one. And when I get her wrapped around my finger, youâll owe me ten galleons.â
Peterâs smile twisted into a mischievous smirk. âY/N Flint. Get her to kiss you before we leave for Christmas. Has to be her making the move.â
Jamesâ expression fell just slightly before he masked it. Peter chose a challenge. This wasnât just if James could get a girl, it was if James could get an unattainable girl. You were about as likely to go out with James as Lily was.Â
You practically had your own guard: Evan Rosier, Anthony Avery, John Mulciber and Stefan Wilkes. Sometimes Severus Snape, Barty Crouch Jr. and Regulus Black would be there too. You were always around one of them, usually more. It made you not the most approachable person. James couldnât just walk up to you.Â
So, he started with baby-steps. The first being observation. Was there ever a time when you were alone? Or at least without the boys. James figured he could try talking to you if it was Dorcas, Pandora or Samantha. To his dismay, you were never alone.Â
He reminded himself: baby-steps. In his observing, he realized he learned your schedule fairly easily. He could attempt to catch your eye and wave to you. Part of the challenge was getting you to come onto him so why not get you to do the work from the beginning?Â
The first time you caught James looking at you, itâs across the Transfiguration classroom in the middle of McGonagallâs lecture. He smiled when he realized youâre actually looking back at him and he held your gaze until you looked away. You caught him looking at you a few more times throughout lessons that day. It hit the point where you approached him after Arithmancy.
âWhat are you looking at, Potter?â you asked, voice level and uninterested, like it was a chore to ask him.
âThought it was pretty obvious,â he said with an easy smile.
âThen why?â
âTo get you to talk to me. Worked, didnât it?â
âAnd why do you need me to talk to you?â you asked, crossing your arms.Â
âWell, your friends are a bit⌠unnerving.â James stood up with a misguided notion that you were actually going to stand there and chat with him.
âUnnerving? Huh, I thought Gryffindors were supposed to be brave.â You gave him a quick once over before adding, âCute.â Then you looked over to where Dorcas was just getting up from her desk. âCome on, Dorcas.â
You walked out of the classroom with Dorcas following closely behind. The latter glanced back at James confused.Â
âHear that, lads? Iâm cute.âÂ
âDonât think she meant it as a complimentâŚâ Remus muttered.Â
James waved a dismissing hand at Remus. It was part of the process. James didnât expect you to be falling all over him because he simply looked at you. He knew you werenât that type of girl. He planned to prove to you that he was worth your time and once you decided he was, youâd be kissing him in no time.Â
âWhat was that with Potter?â Dorcas asked as she walked with you to the dungeons.Â
âNot sure. But apparently youâre unnerving.â You smiled at her.
âDid he say me specifically? I would hope Iâm more, ah, whatâs the word, daunting.âÂ
âHe said my friends.â
âThen I think heâs referring to the idiots who couldnât make it into N.E.W.T. level Arithmancy.âÂ
âDropping Arithmancy was a choice,â Evan said, making himself known. He had been silently walking behind the girls with Stefan.Â
âHi, how was class? Study hall was a bore,â you said overenthusiastically. âClass was great, thanks for asking, Evan.âÂ
âWhy would we ask when youâre just going to do it for us?â Stefan asked, stepping forward and putting an arm around Dorcasâ shoulders.Â
She quickly shrugged him off.Â
âItâs called manners. And you both could use to learn some.âÂ
Evan dropped into a deep bow. âPlease accept my deepest apologies, your majesty. How may I ever make it up to you?âÂ
You gave Dorcas a look and the two of you kept walking towards your common room. Stefan nudged Evan and they were followed, giving you a little more space than before but not enough that theyâd have to give the password again.Â
At dinner, you let curiosity get the best of you. You glanced toward the Gryffindor table a few times, and every time, James was already looking at you. This had to mean that he wanted something other than just getting you to talk to him. You had talked to him. He didnât say anything worth listening to.Â
You let James get in your head too easily. How could one person looking at you constantly be enough to get you to be quiet at dinner? It wasnât like people never looked at you. You were a Flint, one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight, and you liked to think you were both smart and pretty. People noticed when you walked into rooms.Â
âThinking about something?â Pandora asked when you and your roommates were getting ready for bed. âYouâve been quiet.â
A soft laugh escaped your lips. âOf all people, James Potter.âÂ
Samantha and Pandora both stared at you, wide-eyed and waiting for an explanation. Dorcas had at least seen you talk to him today, but was interested nonetheless.Â
âGo on,â Samantha said.Â
âJust been staring at me all day. Bit weird.â
âMaybe heâs moved on from that mudblood heâs been chasing,â Samantha said. âYouâd be quite the upgrade.âÂ
âBecause thatâs what I need, Potterâs undivided attention and affection.â
You gave James two more days of staring at you before you would talk to him again. This time, it was after Potions. You put your hand on his book and looked at his friends.
âMove on, boys.âÂ
James smiled at his friends as they finished putting their things away at an ever-so-slightly quickened pace. You took your hand off Jamesâ book and leaned against his station with your arms crossed once the boys were gone.Â
âYouâve been staring.âÂ
âYeah. Ever heard of the phrase âkeep your eye on the prizeâ?âÂ
You nodded slowly, tilting your head from one side to the other.
âI have. I have⌠But I fear it doesnât apply in this situation,â you said.Â
âWhat would apply? Enlighten me.âÂ
You rolled your eyes with a sigh. âIf you want it, you got to work for it.â You stopped leaning against his brewing station. âSimply staring wonât get you anywhere in life. Enjoy the free advice.âÂ
You were about to walk away when James grabbed your wrist. You looked at him impatiently. You could see Evan, Anthony and John over Jamesâ shoulder. Your âunnervingâ friends could be at your side in an instant if James made the wrong move, not that youâd actually need their help.Â
âIâll put in the work. Iâd go the extra mile.âÂ
âIf thatâs so, donât be afraid of my friends. Theyâre harmless.â You smiled sweetly. âUntil theyâre provoked.â
You pulled your wrist out of his hand and left the classroom. Evan, Anthony and John walked closer to Jamesâ desk than they needed to as they trailed behind you.Â
James stood there for a moment. Until theyâre provoked. Right. Because all the times heâs pranked your friends over the years hasnât provoked them.Â
You didnât see James staring at you across the Great Hall during dinner. You thought you had escaped whatever he was trying to do. It relaxed you. Usually whatever James was up to was no good and you had no desire to be on the receiving end of one of his pranks or schemes or jokes or whatever.Â
James was simply gathering himself. It was an embarrassing amount of repeating to himself that your friends were harmless. Then he had to figure out when he would talk to you again and what he would say. His previous conversations with you were short. He had to admit that he didnât actually know much about you.Â
His staring dramatically decreased the next day. You were convinced that James really was scared of your friends. But then he approached you during study hall, despite the fact that you were sitting with Severus, Anthony and John. The boys stared him down as he stood next to you for a few seconds without saying anything.
He cleared his throat. âHey, Y/N.âÂ
âHello, Potter,â you said as you continued to work on the Ancient Runes essay you had in front of you.Â
âI was wondering if youâd done the Herbology worksheet,â James said slowly, as if testing the waters.Â
âI think Iâm about halfway done with it.â
âOh, brilliant. Would you want to work on it together?â James asked, already sitting down and opting to ignore the increasingly intense stares of your friends.Â
âMight as well,â you replied with a shrug before reaching into your bag to putt it out. âAny chance you actually pay attention?â
âOccasionally, but Iâve become quite skilled at finding answers in the book.â
A brief, quiet laugh escaped your lips. It was enough to make James smile and take a breath of relief. You had somewhat hoped James had taken notes in class so the sheet would be more fill-in-the-blank, but instead, he had pulled out the textbook and set it between you. Yours was back in your dorm. It was a thick tome that you couldnât be bothered to carry, even when Professor Sprout requested that students bring it to class.Â
âFirst question, did you get four glossy, smooth-edged leaves?â you asked.
âYes. And two should be itchiness and swelling.â
âUntil asphyxiation.â
James chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. âErm, yeah, I suppose. Or until an antidote is applied.â
âNo guarantee anyoneâs around to apply it.â
âOkay. Um, number three, underwater fiery petunia weed?â
You hummed affirmatively. âAnd false for four. I stopped there last night. Got bored.â
âFive should be blooms once every four years,â James said, flipping back a few pages in the textbook and pointing to a section under a diagram of a flower. âAnd six might just be bees? Iâm not sure if sheâs counting manual pollination.â
You leaned over to see the section he was referring to in order to copy down the answer. In doing so, you caught a whiff of his cologne. It took you by surprise. It was nice. It was different than what your friends usually wore, but in a good way. It was a warmer scent that didnât scream This costs one hundred galleons.Â
As you worked on the rest of the worksheet, you and James shared his book, both of you scanning the sections at your own paces and letting the other know when you were ready for a page flip. Youâre certain you finished it faster and more correctly than if you had done it on your own. James muttered a few comments here and there that made you smile. Even though your focus was mainly on the worksheet, you could still feel Jamesâ eyes occasionally drift to you and linger. So he was still staring.Â
âOh, that was the last question⌠Not so bad,â James said, flipping over the double-sided sheet from back to front to back. âThanks for working on it with me. Iâll let you get back to whatever you were doing.â
He gave you a wide smile and moved to stand up, but you grabbed his wrist. He gave you a questioning look.Â
You rose just enough to whisper in his ear, âYou smell good.âÂ
Then you let go of him and sat back down. His smile widened even more. You returned it with a sly smile. He nodded and went back to his friends. John watched James leave with a wary expression before turning to look at you.
âWhat was that?âÂ
âHerbology homework.â
âI meant-â
âI know. Not exactly,â you snapped. Now you had to work on your Ancient Runes assignment before you lost the motivation to do so.Â
Now that James had sat at the same table as you with your unofficial guard, he felt more confident. The next day, he was saying hi to you when he passed by in the corridor. He was still staring at you from across the classroom, but now when you caught him, he flashed you a brilliant smile, one that was more happiness filled than cocky, and a wave.Â
After Herbology, he stopped by your station and said, âJust bees was correct. Glad I didnât change it.â
âShame she didnât include asphyxiation though,â you replied.Â
Pandoraâs curious expression when he walked away was priceless. It was understandable though. James had never exchanged little comments like that with you before.Â
He made it clear that he was no longer intimidated by your male friends. A few days later, he approached you after lessons and asked if youâd want to work on homework in the library with him.
âYou know where the library is, Potter?â you asked.
âItâs that big room that I usually avoid,â he said, lips twitching into a smirk. âIf I didnât know where it was, I might wander in there by accident.â
âBut youâre offering to go there now? Willingly?â you asked with an overly-sweet tone.Â
He shrugged and adjusted his bag on his shoulder. âIs that not where you usually do homework?âÂ
âCommon room, actually. But you canât go there. So, sure. Lead the way to the forbidden land, Potter.â
Dorcas and Anthony watched as you left them to go with James.Â
âThis is weird, right?â she asked him.
âVery.âÂ
âIâm going to find Pandora. Weâll keep an eye on him,â Dorcas said.Â
All the two girls would see in the library would be you and James sitting next to each other, textbooks spread across the table as you worked on homework. Every once in a while, one of you would say something that would make the other laugh. It appeared simple, innocent, friendly. That made it all the more suspicious to them.Â
âYou know heâs not a threat,â you hissed, breaking the two girls out of their zoned out state. You had spotted them a few tables away and excused yourself.Â
âWhat?â Dorcas asked. âAre we not allowed to work on homework in here?âÂ
You looked at their table. Dorcas had a Defense textbook open and Pandora was doodling.Â
âHomework. Right.âÂ
âYup. Iâm going to turn this in for extra credit. Sprout will love it,â Pandora said with a nod.
âOkay,â you said, shaking your head.Â
It would take a few more asking you to study before your friends stopped questioning it. Well, they still questioned it, but they didnât bring any attention to it. You agreed to go with him. You seemed in a decent enough mood when you came back to the common room or to the Slytherin table for dinner.Â
âY/N, can I ask you something?â James asked as he tucked his Potionsâ essay into his bag.Â
You hummed, still finishing yours.Â
âIf I asked you to Hogsmeade, what would you say?âÂ
âIn a hypothetical, Iâd say no.â You saw his face fall in your periphery. âBut thatâs only a hypothetical. Too many variables.â
âOh. Um, okay. Y/N, would you like to get butterbeers with me in Hogsmeade?â he asked, unsure if thatâs what you were saying with the hypothetical and variable talk.Â
âLike a date?âÂ
âYes?â
âIâll go on a date with you. Tomorrow?â
âTomorrow,â James said, now smiling with a new brightness in his eyes. âMeet you at the Three Broomsticks?â
You nodded.Â
âGreat, Iâll see you then.â
James was extra smiley when he got back to his dorm. You agreed to a date. He could get a date. It wasnât like you were going out with just any bloke who asked you. This was something. James could get a girl. Just not Lily apparently.Â
You kept your date with James under wraps. Your friends, who already disliked James, didnât need to know that you were going to be spending more time with him. So when it was time to meet James in Hogsmeade, you slipped away from your friends. They were in an intense argument about something or other.Â
James was waiting for you outside the Three Broomsticks. His face brightened when he spotted you.Â
âYou came,â he said as you got closer. He opened the door for you.
âI said Iâd go on a date with you. I keep my word.â
âIâm glad.âÂ
âUp to you to ensure I donât regret it,â you said, picking a table to sit at. âWas this why you started staring at me?âÂ
âIf Iâm being honest, yes. I knew I had to be your friend before I could dream of getting you here.âÂ
âYouâre not the only one whoâs dreamed about dating me,â you teased.Â
âI would be surprised if I was. Youâre beautiful.â
âAnd a damn good time,â you added with a smile.Â
âThat Iâve come to know,â James said. âNever been upset when Iâm with you.â
âIâm waiting for you to piss me off. Feels like it happen eventually.â
âIf you think Iâm going to piss you off, why did you agree to come?âÂ
âSee how long it takes.â
âAnd here I was hoping that you might actually like me.â
âIâm debating it. You havenât been as bad as I was expecting.â
âComing to see that Iâm a delight?â he asked.
You laughed. He was proving to be alright. He could make you laugh and make time pass by quicker. He didnât seem to care about little status things, which you were debating if you liked or not.Â
âSpeaking of delights, Flitwickâs exam? How do you think you did?â James asked.Â
Itâs strange how easy it is to talk to James. This was more continuous conversation, only broken up by sips of butterbeer, rather than the miscellaneous comments while you worked on homework. You talked about the exam and the homework. You joked about your friends and their arguments. James talked about some drama that was going down in the Gryffindor Tower.Â
By the time youâd gone through a few cups of butterbeer, you had decided that James wasnât too bad. He didnât piss you off. He listened to your stories. He laughed at your jokes. Despite some hesitancy, you would admit that you liked spending time with James.Â
You figured he must feel the same since he kept finding time to be near you. You studied together even more frequently. He walked with you to classes you had together, even if your other friends were with you. They didnât really warm up to James. They simply tolerated him for your sake.Â
Then he didnât split up from you when you reached the Great Hall. He followed you all the way to the Slytherin table. You expected him to turn around when you sat down, for him to cross the hall to Gryffindorâs table. But when you sat down, so did he.Â
âExcuse me?â Severus snapped.Â
James looked at you, silently asking if it was okay that he had sat down.Â
âBugger off, Snape. Heâs with me,â you said, giving James a soft smile.Â
The boys around you, besides James, exchanged glances that you chose to ignore. James had become your friend and was steadily working toward something more. The boys would have to get used to him being around. Dorcas and Pandora were a smidge warmer to James. So at least he had that.Â
Dinner ended up only being slightly awkward. You acted like nothing was weird. It was just all your friends together and you could bridge the gaps in the conversation. Soon enough, your laugh was being met with those of your friends. James bumped shoulders with you and shared smaller smiles with you.Â
He became almost like a shadow to you. Walking you to class, carrying your books, studying in the library, hanging out in alcoves. You stood next to him during the Hufflepuff versus Ravenclaw quidditch game. James sat at the Slytherin table from time to time. Dorcas and Pandora accepted that he could keep good conversation, but the boys still held out on him. But one thing was certain: you and James were something. You didnât define it or put a label on it, but something was there.Â
It was a few days before students were to leave for Christmas break. James had yet to kiss you. You almost wanted to throw it in his face, saying that he was some Gryffindor if he couldnât kiss the girl heâd been going around with. You didnât. Maybe he was waiting for the right moment.Â
âJames!â you called across Central Hall. You laughed as you got closer and saw that he was holding a small box. âWe had the same idea, didnât we?â
You held out your own small box for him. He smiled and swapped the two.
âI didnât want to risk not seeing on the last day,â he said.Â
âUnlikely.â
âI know. But go on. Open it.âÂ
You untied the ribbon before peeling the edges of the wrapping up.Â
âA box! Perfect!â
âYour favorite, I know.â
You opened the box and your smile grew twice the size. It was a simple necklace with an amethyst pendant.Â
âYou ranted about being tired of diamonds once and I know you like purpleâŚâ he muttered, like he needed to explain his gift choice.Â
You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him.Â
âJames, itâs perfect,â you breathed as you took a step back. âWait, wasnât that diamond rant from before you started staring at me?â
He smiled sheepishly. âJust because I wasnât looking doesnât mean I wasnât listening.â He shifted his weight. âBut you really like it?âÂ
âI love it. Will you put it on me?âÂ
He took the small box from you to remove the necklace. You lifted your hair so that he could clasp it around your neck.Â
âArenât you going to open yours?â you asked, turning back around.Â
âI mean, I donât need to. You already gave me the best gift.âÂ
âOpen it!â
âOkay, okay,â he laughed.Â
He didnât take nearly as much care with removing the wrapping and when he opened the box, a small broom zipped out and flew around his head. James reached out to catch it and turned it over in his hands, careful to not let it escape.
âOh, this is brilliant!â he said. He let it go for a few seconds before grabbing it again.
âThe handle is a switch. You can adjust it so it doesnât fly or so it just levitates in one spot,â you explained, toying with your new necklace.
James fidgeted with the handle until the tiny broom hovered over his hand without flying off.
âThis is so cool.â He glanced at the library. âDid you have homework, orâŚâ
âI donât have any. Jusâ was looking for you.âÂ
James slid the broom into his pocket and grabbed his hand. âThen letâs go to the greenhouses. Itâs warm in there.âÂ
You let James lead you there, finding a bench in the upper levels. He put his arm around your shoulders as you sat together.Â
âGot anything planned for break?â James asked.
For a while, the two of you talked about your familiesâ holiday traditions. When he had to go, he kissed your hand and winked. You stayed in the warmth of the greenhouse for a bit longer, playing with the pendant and smiling to yourself.Â
âI hear you got your kiss,â Peter said the moment James walked through the door of his dorm.Â
âCough up your galleons then,â Remus said. âI believe you agreed to ten.â
Peter went to dig for the coins.
âDonât worry about it yet, Peter. I havenât broken up with her yet.â
âWhy not?â Peter asked, hand rummaging around his trunk.Â
âBecause that would be rude? We just exchanged Christmas gifts and you kissed me. See you? Iâll end it later.âÂ
Remus and Peter left it at that. Except, James didnât break things off with you before break started. The more he thought about it, the more he didnât want to break your heart. Before Christmas, right â that part was important. He could end things when you got back in person.Â
Sirius was told that James won the bet. After that, no one mentioned you. You didnât come up on the ride to Kingâs Cross. Sirius didnât bring you up to Jamesâ parents when they came to pick the two boys up. And for the first few days of break, Sirius didnât see who James was writing letters to. He assumed his friend was writing to Remus or Peter or Marlene or someone else on the quidditch team.Â
âJames, you got mail!â Sirius yelled from the kitchen one morning. An owl had already been by with the post. Sirius flipped through the letters and stopped on one with a heard on it. âWhoâs this one from?âÂ
James, having just walked into the kitchen, took the letters from Sirius.Â
âOh, thatâs from Y/N.â
âWhy is she writing to you? And with a heart? Couldnât get over you or something?âÂ
âNo,â James said, shaking his head. âI didnât break up with her.â
âYou didnât end things? You proved yourself, mate. You donât have to waste your time on her anymore.âÂ
âNot going to ruin her holiday. Thatâs cruel.âÂ
James left the kitchen to read your letter in privacy. He thought that he shouldâve corrected Sirius that he wasnât wasting his time. He actually enjoyed spending time with you and looked forward to your letters. You were complaining about a dinner your parents dragged you to. You were the only one there under 30. James immediately went to write back.
Sirius started checking the mail every day. There was always a letter from you. He had no clue what you and James were talking about that could warrant daily correspondence like this. Especially when James was going to break up with you.Â
A few days after Christmas, he opened one of the letters. You were writing from your grandparentsâ house and saying that James would love their cooking. It didnât even seem like James had planted a seed of uncertainty in you. From the letter, it looked like everything was good between you. So Sirius took things into his own hands. He wrote back to you and burned the letter you had sent.Â
In the letter Sirius wrote posing as James? He broke up with you. He wrote how it had started. A bet to rebuild his confidence after a painful rejection from Lily. And since he had gotten his kiss, he didnât need you anymore. But, Hope we can still be friends.Â
You stared at the letter when it arrived. Your chest felt empty as you sat on the guest bed you had claimed as your own. You had been used. Your friends were right to be wary of James. You should have listened to them. You ripped the necklace James gave you off your neck, breaking the chain. You felt bad about hiding in your room at your grandparentsâ house, but you didnât want to see anyone. Not while you were crying and heartbroken.Â
What made things worse when you got back to school was James really leaning into the âHope we can still be friends.â He tried talking to you, walking with you, waving to you across corridors. You ignored him. You didnât know how he thought he could be your friend after using you like that. After making you like him.Â
âHey, Y/N!â he called, jogging to catch up with you as you quickly left the Transfiguration classroom. âWait up!â
You didnât. You kept walking. He broke into a full-out sprint to get to you. You only stopped because he grabbed your arm.Â
âHey, I was wondering if you wanted to study together, but somethingâs off with you.â You rolled your eyes. âDâyou want to talk about it?âÂ
You yanked your arm out of his hand.
âTalk about it? Why would I talk about it with you?â
He stared at you for a second. There was bite in your voice and anger in your eyes. He wasnât expecting that from you, although he supposed your letters did stop rather abruptly.Â
âI⌠I donâtâŚâ
âYou were using me to get over Evansâ rejection. You did it,â you snapped bitterly. âI donât know why youâre still talking to me. You made it pretty clear in your letter that you didnât need me. So, just, fuck off, Potter.â
You stalked away from him, leaving him standing there. In his letter? He hadnât written anything like that to you. He knew he was going to have to tell you eventually that it started as a bet, but he really enjoyed your company and wasnât planning on ending things. He was so confused. He had grown to like you. Really like you. And you had looked like you would murder him if he tried to talk to you again. He was fucked and he didnât know why.
âI fear sometimes that people sort of see me a certain way from some of these roles, and I canât wait for the opportunity to be like, âIâm such a dork!â Really, really â Iâm such a dork. I just pretend to be cool.â
Highkey don't remember how different the Battle in the Department of Mysteries is in the movies vs books so... enjoy part iv â¤ď¸
3.2k words
cw: age gap!, Y/N, angst, fluff
You donât heal overnight. Thatâd be a miracle. At least by the end of the week, standing up doesnât hurt as much and youâre able to walk. You had a few visitors here and there as news got around. Molly stayed to take care of you until that first week was over; then she left and Remus and Sirius took over.Â
After the second week, Severus came back to check on you, bringing another bottle of potion for you. He seemed disappointed that you were still at Grimmauld Place. Except he didnât express that directly to you.Â
âSheâll only be here a few more days. Then sheâll move back to her flat and Bill or Tonks can check on her,â Severus told Remus, and technically Sirius as he was in the kitchen with Remus.Â
âY/N is welcome to stay as long as she likes,â Sirius said.
âI assure you sheâll be going home.âÂ
Remus sent Sirius a warning glance, silently begging him not to start something.Â
âAnd if she doesnât? What if⌠she wants to stay?âÂ
Severus scoffed. âNo one wants to stay here.â He paused. âEspecially with you.âÂ
Siriusâ chair scraped loudly against the floor as he stood up. He fully intended on crossing the room to tell Severus some of the things you and him did. But then you appeared in the doorway.Â
âDad, you can leave now. And Iâll leave when I feel like it,â you said, calm yet firm.
âYouâll leave when you finish that potion.âÂ
âNo. Iâll leave when I want to. And thatâs not something you will choose for me.â You took a few steps into the kitchen as you spoke. âThere is no need for you to play the role of protective father. Not now, not ever.â You shook your head and let a bitterness lace your voice. âYou barely played the role of father. Go back to Hogwarts and Iâll be wherever I want to be with whomever I want to be with.â And then a softness as you glanced over at Sirius. âMind you, thatâs Sirius. Just to be clear.âÂ
Severus took a sharp breath. âI did the best I could for you.âÂ
âYou turned away from me.âÂ
âThat was-â
âIâm sure it wasnât once. Just get out.â Severus didnât move. âLeave!âÂ
Severus glared at Sirius and spat, âLook at what you did.â
Then he moved past you to leave out the front door. You scoffed and shook your head before moving to put the kettle on the stove. You could feel Remus and Sirius watching you. Sirius had a look of admiration. Remus was worrying that you were destroying whatever relationship you had with your father for one with Sirius. He had seen how happy you apparently make each other, but he wasnât sure if it was worth it in the long run. Clearly, Severus was one for holding grudges and he doubted that would be any different for his daughter, even what just happened.Â
âEither of you want a cup?â you asked.Â
âMight as well,â Sirius said, his smile audible in his voice.Â
Remus sighed. âIâm alright.â
As expected, you didnât go back to your flat after you finished the potion your father brought you. You opted for sleeping in Siriusâ bed and keeping him company. You were pretty sure that the two of you were driving Remus crazy, not that you were going to do anything about it.Â
You had written to your friends at some point. You told them you had a mishap with a potion you were tinkering with, something to imply that you were injured but not enough to warrant visits. You read your letters out loud to Sirius and told him about each friend. You recounted your Hogwarts adventures. Sometimes you felt like your time being an unsanctioned potions dealer paled in comparison to Siriusâ time sneaking into Honeydukes and pranking his classmates in ways that outshined the Weasley twins. But Sirius listened with rapt attention to each story, taking in each and every detail of your life.Â
The letter that caught you by surprise was one from Fred and George. Yes, you had been discussing logistics and possible partnerships, but the most recent letter said that they left school. Sirius barked a loud laugh. Loud enough that Remus came up to the sitting room from the kitchen to see what that was about.Â
âThe twins! Set of fireworks all through Hogwarts! And left on brooms!â he recounted to Remus through his laughter. âI knew I liked those two.âÂ
âThey said they stopped by my shop but saw it was closed,â you added.Â
âRemember you canât tell them anything in a letter,â Remus said. âIf they come here, fine. But you know the rules. Nothing in writing.â
âYes, professor.â
Remus rolled his eyes and left you alone again.
âYou know he hates-â
âIf heâs going act like one, Iâm going to call him professor.âÂ
When you wrote back, you told the boys that your shop was closed for the time being as you recovered from an injury. You didnât need to say from a âpotions incident.â They were at least Order-adjacent and could put two and two together.Â
And they did, being that they showed up to headquarters the next day. They got the short and sweet version of what happened to you. Went on a mission with Tonks and ran into unexpected Death Eaters. Got hit with a nasty spell and Iâve had to stay here to heal up. No mention of where you actually went with Tonks, no mention of Marcus Flint â although his presence there might have been just sheer coincidence â no mention of how you werenât conscious when Tonks brought you back. And the obvious leaving out that at this point you were actively choosing to stay at Grimmauld Place.Â
âSounds like youâve been having as horrible of a spring as we have,â George muttered before going into a rant about Umbridge.Â
Then they talked about how things were going with moving into the flat above the storefront they secured for their joke shop. They had started setting up a layout for the store and ordering products. They even had an estimate for when theyâd be able to open. Nothing was set in stone â too many things could set them back. But they were excited and you shared in it.Â
Within the week, you did go back to your flat. It was nice to shower in your home shower again. It was nice to have full choice of your wardrobe again; you had Tonks grab you some clothes not long after the mission. You started opening your shop again a few days a week and brewing regularly to keep stock up. You still spent a lot of time at Grimmauld Place with Sirius. It was just now you had to return to the you had before you got hurt.
---
You were in the sitting room, curled up on a chair with a book, when the fireplace crackled. It spurted. You nearly jumped out of your skin.Â
âSirius!â a voice called.Â
You scrunched your face with confusion as you closed your book and set it down. You cautiously got out of your chair.
âSirius?âÂ
âHello? Harry?â you asked, now crouching down next to the hearth. âAre you okay?â
âY/N? Whereâs Sirius?â Harry asked, rather than answering your question. His face was a bit jarring to see in the ashes.Â
âUpstairs. Harry, heâs just upstairs. With that hippogriff,â you said, feeling his urgency.Â
âAre you sure? Are you sure that You-Know-Who doesnât have him?âÂ
âYou-Know-Who? Harry, what are you talking about?âÂ
âI saw him torturing Sirius somewhere with prophecies.â
âUnless the attic got a drastic makeoverâŚâÂ
âY/N, can you go get him? I need to see him. I need to know that heâs not in danger.â
âIâll be right back. Donât worry, Harry. Heâs okay.âÂ
You stood up and left the room. You take the steps multiple at a time until you reach the attic where the hippogriff was kept. You didnât know about it for a while, which you found so odd given how much time you ended up spending in the house. Sirius was standing up from the hippogriff when he saw you standing in the doorway.
âWhatâs wrong?âÂ
âHarryâs-â
âHarry?â Sirius practically ran into you at the mention of his godson. âWhatâs wrong with Harry?â
âHeâs in the sitting room, needs to see you.â
âHeâs here?â he asked, hurrying down the stairs with you following close behind.
âNo. Talking through the floo network.âÂ
Sirius burst into the sitting room and sprinted to the fireplace.Â
âHarry?â he gasped.Â
No response. Harry wasnât there anymore.
âI swear he was there,â you said.Â
âWhat did he say?âÂ
âHe thought You-Know-Who had you. That he was torturing you. Something about prophecies?âÂ
âWe need to tell the Order,â Sirius said firmly.Â
You and Sirius talked to Remus, telling him what little information Harry told you. Remus figured out that Harry mustâve snuck into Umbridgeâs office to use the floo network, given that all the other fireplaces were being watched. He communicated with other members of the Order that there might be activity at the Ministry of Magic, specifically the Department of Mysteries. Remus went with the other after ordering you and Sirius to stay put. Grimmauld Place was safe.Â
Itâs a long evening. You and Sirius returned to the sitting room, except rather than sitting with Sirius or with a book, you started brewing. Healing potions and numbing potions and sleeping draughts. Anything you thought might be helpful when the Order members returned. Sirius watched you with careful eyes as you stirred, chopped and mixed. He knew you needed to be doing something. He wished he could be doing something helpful too, rather than just sitting and watching.Â
âThey should be back by now,â you said with a frown after a while.Â
âTheyâll get back when they get back,â Sirius said, trying to sound comforting despite his own worry. âMaybe they returned to the Weasleysâ or somewhere else.â
You shook your head. âTheyâd come here. Headquarters. ⌠What if Remus-â
âRemus will be fine. Everyone will be fine.â
Sirius had to say that. If he didnât, heâd start to believe otherwise and he refused to lose Remus to some mission. You finished your last batch of healing potions and then you went to sit with Sirius, curling into his side and wrapping your arm around him.Â
âAt least Harryâs safe,â you mumbled and Sirius hummed in agreement.Â
Time took its sweet time passing and it was well into the morning by the time the front door opened and voices carried up the stairs. You had fallen asleep on Sirius. He gently propped you up against a pillow and went downstairs to see what had all happened.Â
Remus recounted what happened. Without Harry there, the prophecy couldnât be moved, but when the Death Eaters realized that the plan failed and that they were facing Order members rather than a mere teenager, all hell broke loose. Someone got pushed into a shelf and they fell like dominoes, causing hundreds of prophecies to be destroyed and never heard again. But that wasnât the kicker. No. Voldemort actually showed up in what Remus called a desperate attempt to maybe find his prophecy among the wreckage, but Dumbledore made an appearance. Dumbledore was able to hold Voldmort at bay for a while and then Fudge arrived with other members of the ministry. Somewhere in all of the commotion, the Death Eaters and Voldemort disappeared. The point was that Fudge saw. Fudge knew that Harry and Dumbledore werenât lying.Â
Youâd be told all of this in the morning, although Sirius made the smart choice to preface the story with âNo one was gravely injured and no one died.âÂ
As the end of the school year approached, Sirius seemed to vibrate with excitement. His name still hadnât been cleared with the ministry so he was still supposed to be hidden within Grimmauld Place, but his offer to Harry about maybe having the boy move in stood. Dumbledore didnât seem too pleased with it, but Sirius would not drop it. Not until the old man compromised. If Harry could start the summer at the Dursleys and then spend most of it with the Weasleys, then Harry could start with his aunt and uncle and then move in with his godfather.Â
âWeâll tell him after he moves in and gets settled, yeah? Oh, this is going to be brilliant! Then weâll get my name cleared and I can get a motorbike again and then we can travel or something!â Sirius ranted as he marked off a day on a calendar counting down until Harryâs arrival.Â
âThe summer is only so long, Sirius. He is going back to school in September,â you said smiling.Â
Sirius waved his hand dismissively. âI know that. But thereâs Christmas and next summer and the rest of our lives!âÂ
âRest of our lives, huh?âÂ
âRest of our lives.âÂ
The day that Harry arrives, you hang back. To your relief, Remus and a few others were around to ensure that the move went smoothly. It wasnât just you and the two boys. Sirius showed Harry to the room that would be his, a different one than heâd lived in last summer. This one Sirius insisted that Harry decorate and make his. Watching Sirius with his godson brought a joy to you that you couldnât quite place. Sirius just lit up around him and you knew part of it was making up for lost time.Â
Dinner was a big ordeal with everyone around and then slowly, the house emptied out. You had discussed with Sirius that it was probably better if you werenât spending the night right away when Harry got there. Let him get used to living with Sirius before adding you into the picture. So, you left with the Weasley twins, being that you were both going back to Diagon Alley.Â
âHave you always hugged Sirius?â George asked as the three of you walked down the front steps and turned down the street.Â
âHm?â you hummed.
âI saw you hug Sirius before we left,â George said. âHave you always done that?âÂ
You didnât answer right away. You were going to tell people about you and Sirius. This could be your first time telling someone, being that Sirius told your father.
âI mean, not always, but I sâpose itâs been a while?âÂ
The boys exchanged a glance.
âYou donât hug Professor Lupin,â Fred stated.Â
There it was. They had a feeling and you knew they had a feeling.
âHe prefers it if you call him Remus.â
âFine, Remus. You donât hug Remus, but you hug Sirius?â Fred asked with a roll of his eyes.Â
âYes. Iâm⌠closer with with Sirius.â
âCloser how?â Fred pressed.Â
âIâm seeing him,â you said quickly, keeping your gaze straight ahead. You didnât really want to see the twinsâ reactions.Â
âYouâre seeing him?â George repeated.Â
âYes.â You paused as you walked. âBeen seeing him since September.âÂ
âThatâs why you spent the night in his room after Christmas!â Fred exclaimed. âI knew there was something bogus with that!âÂ
âI was trashed, thank you very much. But, erm, he may have been lying when he said he slept on the floor.âÂ
George laughed. âDamn, Snape, youâre really dating one of the âmost dangerousâ men according to wizardkind.âÂ
âYou both know heâs innocent!âÂ
âNot of cradle robbing,â Fred said.Â
âItâs⌠itâs not like that.âÂ
âOh? So heâs not the same age as your father? The same age as Remus who also taught you?âÂ
âNo, he is. Itâs just⌠Different.âÂ
âIâm sure he is,â George said. âBecause youâre letting him put his-â
âAnd we are changing the subject!â you said firmly, feeling yourself turn pink. âBut, um, we havenât told many people. Namely, Harry. So donât bring it up around him, yeah? Not until we have a chance to talk to him.â
âYeah, you can deal with that dumpster fire.âÂ
Youâre not over at Grimmauld Place every day. But it does return to the point where youâre there multiple times a week. Days that you have your shop open are the ones you tried to stay fully at home, but sometimes you still stopped by for dinner or to drop off a new book for Sirius. Two weeks pass before you spend the night with Sirius again. You and Sirius talked about Harry and how he didnât seem to mind you being around. Sirius assured you that the boy would take it in stride when he told him.Â
In the morning, you left a sleeping Sirius in bed to make your morning tea. You sipped it slowly as you skimmed the Daily Prophet. You didnât look up when Harry entered the kitchen; out of habit, you had thought it was Sirius.Â
âNo offense, but why are you here?â he asked, making you jump.Â
You set the paper down. Straight to business and no good morning. So much for him not minding you being around. His green eyes stared at you, waiting for your answer.Â
âCanât you have tea at your own flat? Or with the twins or something?â he continued when you didnât have an answer right away.Â
âI mean, I can have tea at mine, but I like to have it right when I get up. You know, I donât like going somewhere for it when itâs right here?â
âBut you came here?âÂ
âI came downstairs, yes.âÂ
âNo, you came here. To Grimmauld Place.âÂ
âHarry, uh, I came here yesterday. You remember that, right?â He nodded. âI never left. So thatâs why Iâm here, I guess.â
âYou spent the night? Why?â Harry was remembering when you were too drunk to leave around Christmas, but last night, you hadnât been drinking at all.Â
âIâm in a relationship with Sirius?â you said, hating how your voice lifted at the end, making it sound more like a question than a statement.Â
Harry stared at you wordlessly for what felt like five minutes. You brought your cup to your lips to take a sip. Anything would be better than him staring at you like that, but it also felt wrong to pick up the paper to continue reading.
âWhat?â he finally asked.Â
âIâm dating Sirius. Uh, have been for a few months.â Few. Right, you could correct the timeline later.Â
âYouâre⌠but you were in school with me, right? Few years ago?âÂ
You nodded, knowing exactly where Harry was going. It was the same place the twins went.Â
âAnd youâre aware⌠Snape and Sirius⌠they hate each other.â
You laughed. âIâm very aware of that.â
âAnd they went to school together. With my dad.âÂ
âYes.âÂ
Harry watched you for a second before saying, âGross.âÂ
Without taking anything from the kitchen, he walked out and you heard him go back upstairs. You assumed he was going to his room. You sighed and picked up your paper again. It couldâve gone worse. He couldâve spat in your face like Severus did to Sirius. Also like with your dad, it probably wouldâve gone better if the other half of the relationship broke the news.Â
âI told him,â you said quietly when you looked from the paper to see Sirius entering the kitchen and making a beeline for the kettle.Â
He hummed. âAnd?â
âHe said gross.âÂ
Sirius barked a laugh as he poured himself a cup of tea. Then he took the seat next to you and kissed your forehead.Â
âNow the big three know, yeah? And guess what, I still love you.â
And because he did not leave headquarters during the Department of Mysteries Battle, that section where we can all sleep peacefully, thank u sweetie @marauder-misprint This story has turned into a dream come true, thanks to you.
Your manifestation has worked! And I know I said in part 2 that it would only be three parts. I lied. I need at least another part for telling Harry. â¤ď¸
Thank you for all the love the Snape Spawn series has gotten so far â¤ď¸ â¤ď¸ â¤ď¸
It got quiet around Grimmauld Place after the spring term started up. Fred and George took you up on your offer for advice via letters; you had gone with them to look at places in Diagon Alley and you thought it went well. You were excited for them. Once Arthur was doing better, he and Molly went back to the Burrow.
It was back to being mainly Remus and Sirius at Grimmauld Place. And you. Sirius told you that Remus put two and two together on Boxing Day. You werenât sure how you felt about his reaction, despite it being exactly what you expected. Sirius was definitely much more relaxed about it than you were.
Sirius sat down with you in his room with you tucked under his arm, nestled up against his chest.Â
âDo you want to stop telling people for a little bit? Just leave it at Remus?â he asked, gently running his fingers up and down your arm.Â
âNo, no. We said weâd start telling people,â you said with a soft sigh. âItâs just Professor Lupin.âÂ
You could feel Siriusâ chest rumble as he chuckled.Â
âProfessor Lupin. Pretty sure heâs asked you to stop calling him that.â
âHe has.â You sighed more heavily. âItâs the same thing as before. Heâs your closest friend and my former professor. His opinion matters.âÂ
He hummed and gave your shoulder a squeeze. âDonât worry about him. I love the man, but I also love you. Heâll come around.âÂ
âI love you too,â you murmured into his chest.Â
Sirius pressed a kiss to the top of your head. One thing he really liked about Remus knowing was that you could sit like this in his room with the door open. There was less sneaking around. Although there was still sneaking when you wanted to spend time in your flat.Â
âOi, people are coming over,â Remusâ voice came through the open door.Â
His body passed by the doorframe seconds later, not looking in. He moved quickly. Sirius groaned quietly as he lifted his arm away from you. You knew that there was an Order meeting. You just wished that you had more time under Siriusâ arm right now. He was warm and you were comfortable.Â
âCome on, heâs right,â Sirius said, moving off of his bed and offering you his hand.Â
âWhat if I said Iâm comfy?âÂ
âMy bed will still be here after the meeting,â he said before leaning in to briefly kiss you and whisper, âUnless you want to skip the meeting and let everyone know that weâre together in one go.âÂ
You practically jumped off his bed. âRight! Dadâs coming to this one and while I havenât figured out how to tell him, that is not it.â
Sirius smirked and led you out of his room.
âJust an idea, love.âÂ
You closed the door to Siriusâ room before following him down to the kitchen. Remus barely spared you two a glance.Â
âTea?â he asked as he reached to grab a mug for himself.
âIâd love some,â you said, sitting down at the table next to Sirius.Â
Remus nodded and pulled down a second mug. Youâd been over enough that Remus knew which tea you liked and how you took it. He placed the mug in front of you and sat on the other side of Sirius. You figured that was because he still felt weird seeing you and Sirius sit close together.Â
Slowly, members of the Order arrived at the house and filed into the kitchen. Tonks took her usual spot on your other side. You barely made eye contact with your father when he came into the room. You could feel his eyes watching you even after the meeting started, and it turned out to be more than his eyes. Once again he was trying to get into your brain. You took a deep breath and steadied yourself, emptying your brain. You focused on keeping Severus out of your thoughts and memories.Â
You nearly broke when Sirius looked at you. It was only a subtle side glance, but it told you that he noticed you tensed for no apparent reason. You took another breath and glared at your father, meeting his gaze. There was no emotion in his intense stare. You decided to up the game.Â
Then you werenât sitting in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place, listening to Mad-Eye Moody talk about missions you werenât involved in and the vague information gathered from them. No, you were looking at a younger version of your father. You recognized where you were. You, and younger Severus, were standing outside of the house where you spent a decent amount of time growing up: the house of the couple that watched you while Severus taught at Hogwarts. Severus stood just beyond the front lawn. He bounced on the balls of his feets, watching the house. You glanced between him and the house. Surely, you were inside with the people you called Auntie and Uncle.Â
You watched as Severus shook his head and turned away. He walked away. You pressed your lips together and felt something break inside of your chest. Your father had been debating coming to see you and he just didnât. He walked away from you.Â
Just as suddenly as you appeared in front of the house in Hogsmeade, you were back in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place, between Tonks and Sirius. However, both you and your father had abruptly stood up with loud scraping noises as your chairs slid backwards.Â
The eyes of the room shifted between the two of you. You and Severus were having a new stare down and he looked furious at you.Â
âAm I, ahem, needed at this meeting? Or can I be excused?â you asked, breaking eye contact and looking toward Shacklebolt and Moody.Â
âYou are needed,â Moody said. âYouâre being assigned another mission.âÂ
You sent another glare toward your father before sitting down and crossing your arms across your chest. Under the table, Sirius nudged your foot with his. You knew he was asking if you were okay, and you hated that you couldnât reassure him right now, not with Moodyâs eye in the room. Moody described the missions you were to be going on; you were to pair with Bill Weasley and Tonks. Youâd be trying to get information out of people whose stances were unknown. You three were young enough to not have participated in the first war and you were lesser known among known Death Eaters.Â
Once the meeting was over, you disapparated. You felt horrible for leaving Sirius without saying bye, but you needed to get out of there. That memory you visited filled you with rage and hurt. Even if just to say hi, why hadnât he gone inside? It couldâve been a short visit, but it wouldâve been a visit. He rarely did that. If he had gone all that way, why did he turn around? Were you just not good enough for him? No, you knew you never were.Â
You paced around your flat until you felt like your legs were turning into jelly. But even with as exhausted as you were, sleep didnât come easy and when it did, it wasnât restful.Â
You started canvassing Diagon Alley with Bill. Whenever he had a break from Gringotts, heâd let you know so you could close up shop and help. Sometimes it was just watching as he talked to various people, or vice versa. You occasionally ventured down Knockturn Alley and a few of the other adjourning streets. The most that happened was you pointing out a man who you believed to be Mr. Nott; you told Bill that he had a son at Hogwarts that looked very similar. Bill turned you in a different direction so you didnât run into him.Â
âNot someone to be taken on with just the two of us,â Bill whispered.Â
You frowned, but went along easily. Once again, you felt your dueling skills were being underestimated, but you knew it wasnât a good idea to be starting duels in a shopping district, even if it was Knockturn Alley.Â
Your expedition with Tonks was more exciting. She had heard whispers about an underground animal auction happening and after running it by Moody, you were told to go. Sheâd be in disguise but you were good to go as is. You werenât an employee of the ministry.Â
It wasnât too difficult to find the auction grounds. You walked a bit through a dense forest, following seemingly meaningless ribbons tied to branches until you came across a clearing. There was a cloaking shield at the edge of it, but you and Tonks walked right in. It was bustling with people and cages; animal cries immediately filled the air. You and Tonks scanned the crowd. Nothing stood out to you. Tonk told you to find a seat and sheâd catch up to you in a little bit. You watched her casually stroll up to a porky man with a clipboard in hand and a quill behind his ear. You gave the crowd another scan, unsure of where to go.
âMerlinâs bloody beard, is that Snape?â a family male voice called.Â
You turned and laughed. âFlint, what are the odds?âÂ
Marcus walked toward you and pulled you into an uncomfortable hug. You hadnât seen Marcus since school, and even then, you werenât exceptionally close. That didnât stop him from smiling at you and unabashedly checking you out. Â
âHavenât seen you at one of these before. Looking for something?â he asked.Â
You shrugged. âYou know how things areâŚâ You glanced at the ground, smiled and picked something up. âIf sellers are going to let perfectly good potion ingredients fall on the group, why shouldnât I collect them?âÂ
âStill doing potions then?âÂ
âGot a shop in Diagon Alley. What about you?â
âMetal charmer by trade, little league quidditch official by hobby.â
You laughed and shook your head. âSome things never change, eh?â
âYou here with anyone?â
âYeah. Friend from a neighboring shop,â you said, pointing at Tonks.Â
However, instead of looking at Tonks, Marcus looked at your hand, grabbing it in awe. You were wearing the new gloves that Sirius got you; if you were to get into a duel, it would be on one of these missions you went on with Bill and Tonks.Â
He let out a low whistle. âNo way youâre affording these by yourself.â
You snatched your hand back and gave Marcus a rather insulted look.
âNot that it matters, but they were a gift.âÂ
âSomeone must really like you.â
âYeah. They do.âÂ
You looked back at Tonks, seeing if you could make an excuse to leave Marcus. She was already making her way toward you. She had a sour look on her face.Â
âWeâre leaving,â she said as soon as she reached you.
âWhy? Bidding hasnât started?â Marcus asked, looking between the two of you.Â
âWe werenât the only ones who heard about this,â Tonks said firmly, keeping her eyes on you.Â
You nodded, knowing what she meant. Death Eaters were coming and she somehow got that information out of the man with the clipboard.Â
âCourse you're not,â Marcus said as he placed a hand on your shoulder. You tensed as his fingers curled around it. âThatâs how auctions work. There needs to be more than one bidder.â
âFlint, it sounds like Iâm leaving. It was good seeing you,â you said politely, but he held onto you with expected force.
âStay. Come on. We should catch up.â
âSnape, we need to go.â There was more urgency in Tonksâ voice and you really didnât like it.
âMarcus,â you warned.
You tried to take a step away from him, but it was too late. Figures in dark cloaks and masks started shoving their way through the crowd. They werenât there to bid, but they were definitely leaving with the magical creatures. Marcus let go of your shoulder with shock on his face. He immediately ran toward where you assumed his friends were. You and Tonks exchanged a quick look before you both drew your wands and sent spells flying at the dark cloaks.Â
Those attending the auction to bid quickly disappeared into the forest. That made hitting your targets easier, but that also meant that the Death Eaters were getting a clearer view of who was hitting them. You saw a few Death Eaters stumble, fall over and cry out as spell after spell hit your targets. You havenât had a good duel like this since school. It was exhilarating.Â
Then a red-orange burst hit you in the back and you fell forward. You couldnât breathe. Your face hit the dirt and you couldnât bring your arms up to break your fall nor push yourself up. From the heat you felt, you assumed it was some kind of altered fire curse. You could feel your body spasm. It hurt. It hurt so bad. You tried to scream out, but when you opened your mouth, there was no sound. Then it hit you that there was no sound. No light â you couldnât see. And you couldnât feel anything.Â
Was that it? Should you have tried to pull out of Marcusâ grip harder when Tonks told you that you needed to leave? Was this how you went out? Without a goodbye to Sirius?Â
---
âRemus!â Tonks shrieked as she apparated into Grimmauld Place with your more-or-less limp body. It spasmed periodically.Â
She thought you were doing exceptionally well being how out-numbered you were and that you didnât have auror training. She hadnât seen the spell that hit you, but she heard you fall. And when you stayed on the ground, she knew you had to get out of there.Â
Remus, Fleur and Bill came running out of the kitchen, and Sirius descended the stairs as fast as he could. Sirius had to grip the handrail to prevent himself from falling down the rest of the stairs when he saw your body. His breath hitched when he saw that you were wearing the glove.Â
Those were supposed to help.Â
âBill, weâll need Severus,â Remus said firmly to the ginger. âLetâs get her upstairs.â
Bill rushed to the nearest fireplace to contact Severus and then Dumbledore to explain why Severus needed to leave Hogwarts immediately. Remus and Fleur helped Tonks bring you upstairs. Tonks was sobbing as she recounted what happened. Remus assured her that she did the right thing.Â
âSheâs alive?â Sirius croaked, standing in the door of one of the guest rooms, watching them lay you on the bed.Â
âI-I have no clue what spell hit her. She has a pulse,â Tonks managed to say weakly.Â
âItâs something. Weâll be able to do more once Snape gets here,â Remus said. âWatch her, will you?âÂ
Sirius nodded, moving a chair in the room to be right next to the bed. Fleur took Tonksâ arm and helped her out of the room. It was very jarring for all of them to see Tonks like this; she was a bold and bright personality, an excellent auror and trained to keep her cool. Remus lingered in the guest room with Sirius for a minute. He watched his best friendâs sullen face. Remus turned away when he saw a tear run down the side of his face. He didnât need to see Sirius like this. He didnât want to see Sirius like this. Even if it was so bizarre for Remus to acknowledge, Sirius was happier when you were around. He acted more like a human rather than a shell of one.Â
And now you were laying in the closest thing to a hospital bed, unconscious and barely alive. But that was the important part: you were alive.Â
âHeâs coming,â Bill told Remus when he came down the stairs. âFleurâs getting Tonks a cup of tea, but sheâll need a calming draught. Albus⌠he didnât want Snape to leave Hogwarts. Something about Umbridge.âÂ
Remus closed his eyes and rubbed his temples.Â
âYeah, yeah, sheâs a nightmare, but itâs his goddamn daughter for Merlinâs sake. We need him here. She needs him here.â
âI told Albus that Snape already left. He left before I even told him everything.â Bill glanced at the door. âI expect heâll be here any minute.âÂ
The two men went to sit with Tonks and Fleur in the kitchen while they waited. Sirius, in order to convince himself that you were just sleeping, brushed your hair off of your face and took your gloves off. He held your hand and gently rubbed his thumbs over your knuckles. Youâd be okay. Youâd be okay. Youâd be okay. Youâd be okay. Youâd be-
The front door opened. Remus stood up from the table in the kitchen. He had been sitting in a spot where he could see the front door. Severus and Remus didnât exchange any words. They made eye contact and Remus pointed up. Severus didnât nod. He showed no emotion as he silently turned and made his way to you.Â
Severus stood in the doorway when he found you. He wasnât sure what was more shocking, disturbing even: you, laying motionless and eerily pale, or how Sirius was sitting with you, hunched over and rubbing your hand. After what felt like a few minutes, he entered the room.
âMake yourself useful and set up the potion station, Black,â he said coldly.Â
Not looking up from you, Sirius said, âItâs in the sitting room. There was never a point to put it away.âÂ
Severus stepped toward the bed and glared at Sirius. âGet out. I need to examine her so I know what she needs.â
Sirius didnât move. He wasnât sure if he wanted to leave you alone with him. Yes, Severus was your father, but⌠No, Sirius didnât want to leave you alone but it wasnât because of Severus. It was all him. Sirius didnât want to leave you alone. Period. Full stop. He looked at your face, somehow both peaceful and pained at the same time. Sirius knew he had to leave.
He stood up slowly and walked out of the room, not looking at Severus once. He debated going to his room. He could wait in there with the door open and listen for when Severus left your side so he could return. But then the front door opened again. Sirius let the sound direct him downstairs â heâd sit in the kitchen and hear what everyone else thought about the situation. He was met with Arthur and Molly in the entryway.Â
âDumbledore called,â Arthur said, seeing Sirius.
âIs she upstairs?â Molly asked, looking up the stairs, and Sirius nodded.Â
Sirius and Arthur continued to the kitchen.Â
âMolly said something about a motherâs touch. Something no one in the house has,â Arthur said.Â
Sirius tried to chuckle, but he couldnât bring himself to. He needed you to wake up and then he could smile and laugh again. Until then, he didnât have that option. Remus watched Sirius reach for a whiskey glass.Â
âPadfoot, Iâll take a tea if youâre putting the kettle back on.âÂ
Sirius stilled midmotion. He knew that Remus knew he wasnât going for the kettle. At least, he wasnât. Now that Remus said something, Sirius knew he had to. He nodded silently, put the kettle on and grabbed two mugs.Â
âAnyone else?âÂ
âMight as well. Bill too,â Arthur said.Â
Two more mugs. They would all drink tea. While waiting for the kettle to be ready, Sirius moved cups to the table along with sugar and cream so everyone could make their cups as they liked. He needed to keep moving, keep himself distracted or heâd really want to reach for the whiskey again.Â
Molly stepped into the room where Severus was looking over you. He was tracing his wand along your limbs.
âWhat can I do to help?â she asked. Her voice was steady but kind. The way she asked the question said that it wasnât really a question; she was going to help and things would be a lot better if he just told her what she could do.Â
Severus stood up straight, tucking his wand away. He wasnât finished with his examination; he couldnât tell for certain what spell was used on you. He rummaged through his brewing kit. He pulled out a small jar containing a rather basic soothing salve. He held it out for Molly.Â
âApply this to all her burns. I need to start brewing.âÂ
He hesitated in the doorway, giving you one last glance before heading to the sitting where Sirius said the potion station was. He silently got to work. As soon as he was out of the room, Molly did the same, taking the lip of the jar. The moment the salve touched your skin, it started to glow and seep into the burns. Molly was vaguely familiar with this salve. She had similar ones at the Burrow, ones specified for scrapes and cuts. She needed to adjust how you were laying so she could apply the salve to your back. She gently rolled you over and pulled your shirt up. The burns were horrible.Â
âI see where you got hitâŚâ she muttered to herself.Â
She kept applying the salve until every burn was properly coated. Then she sat down in the chair. There was nothing more she could do until Severus came back.Â
Sirius kept glancing toward where they kept the whiskey. His cup had been sitting empty for a while now. Everyone else in the kitchen was more relaxed than him, engaging in conversation and offering to refill his cup. He shook his head each time. You were upstairs and only Remus truly knew how much it was killing him.Â
Everyone looked up when Molly entered the kitchen. She didnât have to say anything to the roomâs attention and her soft smile was a comfort to all of them before she even spoke.
âSheâs awake. Severus is reassessing her.âÂ
Tonks jumped up and left the kitchen immediately. They could hear her footsteps all the way until she reached your room. Remus gave Sirius a warning look; he didnât need Sirius barging into the room while Tonks was talking to you and possibly with Severus still in there too.Â
âHow are you feeling?â she asked, not caring that Severus was looking over your arm.Â
You gave her a weak smile. âLike a dragon roasted me.âÂ
âThat seems about right,â Tonks said with a weak chuckle.
She sat down in the chair and let Severus continue to look you over.Â
âYou know, Y/N, youâre kind of wasted in your apothecary,â she said.Â
âAm I?âÂ
âWicked duelist. If only there had been less of them⌠more of us⌠something.â Tonks choked up briefly. âYou wouldnât be like⌠this.âÂ
âOh, shut up,â you said with a slight laugh slipping through your lips, which had you suddenly gripping your side as pain radiated from that spot.Â
âSit still,â your father snapped.Â
You rolled your eyes and Tonks smiled at you slyly. You were still yourself. Thatâs what mattered. But you listened to Severus; you tried your best to sit still.Â
âSo what happened?â you asked.
âI was talking to that guy, Watson, getting a feel for the auction. Sketchy. Unregulated. Undocumented. I could see you talking to some guy.â
âMarcus Flint. I went to school with him.â
Severus humphed. You didnât know what he thought of Marcus and you didnât really care. You didnât like Marcus all that much so why would it matter?Â
âThen I heard someone say the Carrows were arriving soon. And Rowle, Yaxley, Macnair were all thrown around. It was too many. We couldnât take them on.â
You nodded.Â
âBut that boy wouldnât let go of you until it was too late and we couldnât just leave. I think we created enough of a diversion that some people were able to escape, but then you got hit. I didnât see by what or who. Not with their bloody masks. I⌠I couldnât let you just lie there. I got us out of there, and well, now weâre here.âÂ
Severus walked out of the room without saying anything. You had no idea if it was because of his ties to Death Eaters or if he had to go brew something else for you. You winced as you tried to sit up.
âNo, stay laying down,â Tonks said firmly. âYouâve been through a lot.â
âIâll be fine-â you started to say, wanting to say more but she cut you off again.
âYes. You will be fine. If you stay lying down and let us take care of you.âÂ
You groaned as you adjusted the blanket around yourself.Â
âThank you. For getting me here.â
Tonks nodded and reached out to squeeze your hand. She sat there for a few more minutes with you before getting up. Shortly after she left, Remus and Sirius came in. Sirius immediately took his spot in the chair and Remus leaned against the wall just off to the side.Â
âYouâre alive,â Sirius said softly.Â
âYeah, I am,â you breathed.
The two of you just stared at each other for a little bit. Sirius had such a soft expression; you had that effect on him. You were glad that you were alive and you were glad that Sirius was here for you. If you werenât bedridden, youâd be hugging him.Â
âY/N, do you need anything?â Remus asked.
Like everyone else, he was glad you were going to be okay. He felt that he didnât need to be in the room with you and Sirius if you were trying to have a moment. You were adults. You didnât need him acting as a chaperone.Â
âIâm alright, Remus. Thank you,â you said with a weak smile.Â
He nodded and left the room, heading back to the kitchen. Sirius moved some of your hair out of your face again, letting his fingers gently trace down your cheek before coming to rest on top of your hand.Â
âI havenât been scared like that in years,â Sirius said.
âThere werenât supposed to be Death Eaters there.â
âI know.â
âSome idiot I went to school stopped us from leaving.â
âYou mightâve saved some lives.â
âFelt good to be in the action⌠UntilâŚâ
Sirius chuckled softly, rubbing his thumbs over the back of your hand.Â
âThat tends to be how it goes, Icarus.â
âThere werenât supposed to be Death Eaters there,â you repeated. âIf they hadnât appeared, we wouldâve been-â
âYou wouldâve been okay. And you saw Tonks already. Sheâs okay.â Sirius leaned forward so he could press a kiss to your hand without moving you too much. âAnd you will be okay. Just donât expect to be going back to your flat until you are.â
âRemus going to make me sleep in here?â
âThereâs a possibility.â
You sighed. âBut itâs not as comfortable as yours.â
âReally? I couldâve sworn my parents got better beds for guests than me and Regulus.â
âThe mattress is fine, I suppose,â you said, wiggling your body slightly. âBut itâs missing you.â
Sirius leaned forward again and kissed your forehead before whispering, âWeâll see whoâs all staying here tonight, hmm? Maybe Padfoot can keep you company.âÂ
You grinned. That would suffice.Â
However your happiness was short-lived as someone cleared their throat from the doorway. Severus.Â
âBlack, donât make me tell you to leave this room again.âÂ
Once again, Sirius was slow to move at your fatherâs request. And once again, he didnât want to leave you. Youâre awake. He didnât want to leave your side until youâre feeling better. He looked at you and you gave him a tight-lipped smile.Â
âYouâll be okay?â he whispered and you nodded.Â
At that, he stood up and left the room. Severus closed the door to the room and then handed you a tall glass of a thick purple liquid that smelled like bubotuber pus.Â
âDrink.â
âObviously,â you said dryly. You tipped the cup up and the liquid slid down the glass like sludge. It tasted like bubotuber pus. You gagged, setting the empty cup on the bedside table.
âYou need to rest. Iâll make more. Youâll need to drink it every evening for a week.â
You didnât say anything. Severus left you alone in the room, closing the door behind him again. This time, Sirius had gone to his room rather than the kitchen. He fully intended on sitting with you again once Severus left the room so when he heard the door open and close, he left his room. He wasnât expecting Severus to be waiting for him.
âBlack. Stay away from my daughter. She doesnât need to be corrupted by scum like you,â Severus hissed. The words burned as they left his mouth. They were words he never imagined having to say to a former classmate.Â
ââFraid I canât do that, Snivvy,â Sirius said.Â
âOnce she is healed, she goes back to her flat and youâll keep your goddamn distance.â
âAnd what if she comes back here?â Sirius crossed his arms over his chest. He knew full well that you wouldnât stay away from him if your father asked.Â
âItâll be for meetings and meetings alone.â
Sirius smirked. âShe comes âround here more often than we have meetings.â
âWhatever friendship you think you have with her, itâs over.â
âDearest Snivellus, itâs not a friendship. Itâs a relationship.â He took a step closer to Severus. âA courtship.â Another step. âA partnership.â Another step. âAnd I love her, so no, I wonât be staying away from her.â
Severus spat in Siriusâ face. âIf you lay a hand on her, I will personally tell the dementors where you are.â
Sirius wiped the spit from his face, preparing a retort, but Severus had already turned and disappeared into the sitting room with a slammed door. He pressed his lips together. While that couldâve gone much worse, it probably wouldâve been a hell of a lot better if it had been you telling Severus about the relationship. Two out of three people you were worried about knowing of the relationship, Sirius had told and both hadnât gone great.Â
Sirius rubbed at his face again, trying to dry it off a bit more. Then he went back to your room and closed the door behind him.Â
âI heard,â you said, scooting over on the bed just enough so that Sirius could sit next to you. âIâll try to talk him down⌠eventually.â
âDumbledore wonât let him turn me into the dementors. Especially as long as I stay here, glorious, glorious headquarters.âÂ
Still laying down, you wrapped your arms around Siriusâ waist and rested your cheek on his thigh. He absentmindedly started playing with your hair.Â
âAnd that leaves HarryâŚâ
âMy godson will want me to be happy. You make me happy.â
âIâm the daughter of his least favorite professor.âÂ
âAnd the lovely girlfriend of his godfather. Whatever he thinks, just like Remus, wonât change how I feel about you. And on the bright side, I think Remus is coming around. Told you it takes time.âÂ
You hummed. Your eyelids fluttered shut and it didnât take long until you were asleep. Sirius waved his hand to dim the lights to help you rest. He hoped no one would come in and bother you, especially Severus given his threat and Sirius immediately ignoring it. No one did come in and you got your wish of Sirius staying the night with you.
Okay HELLO I just want to say 1) I love your writings and 2) holy cow your sirius x snapes daughter fic has infected my mind since I read it. I never would have expected how into it I am. Would you ever consider writing a follow up for it? I cant stop thinking about them realizing that,, this is actually working out and now they have to figure how to tell remus, harry, and.....Snape himself. I just love the thought of them sneaking around and having to dodge their thoughts (Snape and legilimency YIKES) but surprisingly still getting away with it. I feel like Tonks despite (or maybe because of) her own pining would be the first to catch on. I just love the secret dating/forbidden romance trope and this is so so fun and I love the OotP timeline set up. I kept wondering too if reader would get a chance to show her defense skills and not just potioneering. If you're not up for it no worries!! But just know that you have me seated and ready, sippin my drink and entirely invested
Hi! Thank you for all the love â¤ď¸ â¤ď¸ â¤ď¸ This story is hitting harder than I was anticipating, but the people ask or a part 2, I give a part 2. And there will be a part 3 at some point. When? That is up to the writing gods.
Hope y'all enjoy â¤ď¸ â¤ď¸ â¤ď¸
Snape Spawn ii
Sirius Black x Snape!reader
part one, part three, part four
5k words
cw: age gap!, Y/N, sneaking around, fluff
You closed the door to Grimmauld Place quietly behind you. You had Chinese takeaway in your arms as you scanned the entry. No Remus in sight, which was good you thought. Youâre not sure how youâd explain why you were here. You hadnât gotten that far. You headed up the stairs and knocked on Siriusâ bedroom door.Â
âNot feeling great, Moons. Iâll eat something later,â Sirius called through the door.Â
You turned the handle, barely pushing the door open. âWould some Chinese make you feel better?âÂ
Within a moment, Sirius was pulling you into his room and closing the door. The containers of food landed on the desk. He held you at armsâ length, debating if it would be appropriate to hug or kiss you; frankly, he wanted to do both.Â
âYouâre actually here.â
You tilted your head. âWe made plans, Sirius. And I figured eating here would be better than eating alone in my flat again.â
He chuckled and let his hands fall from your shoulders.Â
âDid Remus see you?â
âNo. Donât think he heard me either. I tried to be quiet.â
âDidnât set my motherâs portrait off. Thatâs a good sign. Although, Remus might smell our dinner⌠Iâll figure something out to tell him.â
Sirius gives you a smile before turning toward the containers and looking through them, seeing what you all got.Â
âWasnât sure what youâd like so I got a few things. All things I like so take whatever and Iâll be good.âÂ
âHmm⌠Appears you have good tasteâŚâÂ
He selected a container and set of chopsticks before sitting on the floor. You mirrored him â his back was to the wall and yours to his bed. You sat in silence, eating for a minute or so.
âTell me âbout yourself,â you said in between bites.Â
Sirius doesnât answer right away, opting to take another bite of his food. You supposed it was probably the first date that heâd been on in a long while, but surely heâs had to get to know people since escaping Azkaban. It wasnât like he was alone in Grimmauld Place all the time.Â
âIâm a scorpio. Like dogs and motorcycles. Used to have one, you know. Before⌠everything.â You nodded, encouraging him to keep going. âMy best friends are dead, a traitor and probably in the sitting room. James Potter, Peter Pettigrew and Remus. We used to have such a good time together. Complemented each in ways that had McGonagall pulling her hair out.âÂ
âWhat did you do?â
âSome harmless pranks, kid stuff. Except we were all brilliant and a tad reckless.â
âAnd something tells me some of them werenât harmless.â
âPossibly mortifying for some? If you want to see one of the ugliest sides of me, just talk to, ahem, Severus.âÂ
You gave a dry laugh. âI donât think Iâm going to be asking Dad about you any time soon.âÂ
Sirius smiled at you.Â
âAlso, I like that your first thing you said was your zodiac sign,â you laughed before telling him your own. âDo you believe in sign compatibility?âÂ
He shrugged. âOnly if ours are compatible.âÂ
âGood answer,â you chuckled. âDid you take Divination?â
âMerlin, no. Ancient Runes and Arithmancy. Loved Runes-â Sirius gestured to himself and his collection of rune-related tattoos. â-if that wasnât obvious. Arithmancy, not so much.â
âHmm. Besides your pranks, were you a good student?â
âI passed,â he said nonchalantly. âIâm good with a wand, I know my spells. Not as good at brewing as you are and Iâve killed my fair share of plants.âÂ
âOh, sure, flatter me.â You shake your head slightly.Â
âWhat? Itâs true! After Severus, youâre the only other person we could ask to brew Wolfsbane.â
âIâm a part of the order,â you said, pointing your chopsticks at him.Â
âYes, but you brewed it perfectly. Even with⌠a distraction in the room.â
âA distraction that kissed me, mind you. Thatâs certainly one way to distract me more.â
âAnd you still brewed it perfectly.â Sirius flashed you a cocky grin. âSo tell me about yourself. What do you do besides immaculate potions?â
âI mean, it does take up most of my time. My shop, you know. I live above it so I donât have a commute. I hang out with my friends from school sometimes, but they are all pretty busy with their jobs. We still find time to get a drink at the Leaky Cauldron from time to time. Erm⌠Been trying to read more lately. Some fun muggle books that I find in secondhand shops.â
âSecondhand book shops, you should suggest some to Remus. Heâd appreciate it,â Sirius said with a nod. âWhat book are you currently reading?âÂ
âThereâs this mystery series, Sherlock Holmes. Only four actual books, but there are so many short stories about him.â
âOh? Youâre liking it so far?â
You nodded.
âYou should bring me one. Iâll read it.â
You started talking about other books youâve read recently and Sirius listened more intently than you expected him to. What surprised you even more was when Sirius talked about the books he read in time after Hogwarts and before Azkaban â he was an avid reader. He said he missed having access to bookstores and libraries, yet another downside to being trapped in Grimmauld Place.Â
After you finished eating, you moved to sit next to Sirius. You asked him what this neighborhood was like when he was growing up; he told you stories about him sneaking out to walk the streets and visit muggle stores. He didnât like being trapped in the house back then and he still doesnât. You rested your head on his shoulder, listening to his voice. Subconsciously, your hand found his and traced lazy shapes on the back of it.Â
After a while, you yawned and said, âItâs getting late⌠I should probably get going.â
âYou are always welcome to stay the night,â Sirius said with a hint of hopefulness in his voice.
âYou know I canât. Not yet.â You looked up at Sirius with a sweet smile. âWalk me out?â
He nodded, standing up and extending his hand to help you up. Sirius opened his bedroom door quietly, looking up and down the hallway and stairs. As you followed him out, you could tell that sneaking around his house was an old habit. Itâs evident in how he moves. Only he was escaping from his parents when he was younger; now heâs hiding you from Remus. He pressed a kiss to your forehead before cautiously opening the front door for you to slip out. Grimmauld Place successfully had a visitor without anyone else knowing.Â
Within the month, you were visiting Sirius multiple times a week. Sometimes you hung around Remus, just sharing dinner with other members of the Order or having tea. It was easy to brush off you being around Grimmauld Place at times, saying that you donât want to miss anything so youâre hanging around Order Headquarters. Other times, Sirius came up with various excuses for Remus to not disturb him for the evening and then would slink out of the front door. Youâd be waiting around the block, ready to apparate the two of you back to your flat. Sirius often laughed that it reminded him of being young again.
In your flat, you could do more things than you could in Siriusâ room. You cooked together, baked together, watched muggle TV and movies, listened to music, read and just about anything you could think of. It wasnât going out to shops and restaurants where Sirius ran the risk of being recognized, but it was something. The most difficult part of it was getting Sirius to leave and go back into Grimmauld Place. You understood it the more you knew him.Â
Your friends picked up that you were seeing someone, but you kept it quiet. You shared so few details about Sirius that if you hadnât been spending so much time with him, they might not have believed he existed. He also wasnât the greatest at putting love bites in places you could cover easily. Good thing your customers didnât care what you looked like, as long as your product maintained its quality. It did.Â
Getting to see Sirius, even if visually platonically, made Order meetings something you could look forward to. No one seemed to question your friendship with Sirius. You assumed it was because you had spent a fair amount of time during missions together at Grimmauld Place. So when Sirius greeted you with a hug before the first November meeting, it didnât draw anyone's eyes. Except for Severusâ.Â
Your father frowned deeply at the sight. Like usual, you sat next to Tonks at the meeting. You avoided looking at Severus and only cast Sirius occasional glances. You didnât want to be too obvious. Periodically throughout the meeting, you felt a presence in your brain; you immediately knew what it was. You cleared your mind and forced Severus out. You put up walls and focused on that for most of the meeting.
âY/N, weâre going to need you for this one. You, Lupin, Tonks,â Shacklebolt said, ensuring that you three were listening.
You perked up immediately. This was going to be your first real mission and youâd be damned if you messed it up. Without looking, you knew that Sirius was smirking at you and your obvious excitement. You were finally getting in on some of the action. Your excitement only shrank slightly as Shacklebolt went into the missionâs details, but it was still something.Â
You talked briefly with Tonks and Remus after the meeting. You needed to make sure you were all on the same page before the actual mission was to take place in a few days. When you turned to find Sirius, hoping to talk to him before you needed to leave, you spotted your father lingering in the hallway outside of the kitchen. You steadily walked up to him.
âStay out of my head. If I have something to tell you, I will,â you said firmly, looking into his cold, dark eyes. You knew that if you didnât look him in the eyes, he wouldnât believe you.Â
âWill you?â he drawled.
âYes.â
Then you continued out the door. If you stayed any longer, Severus might have interrogated you and youâre not sure if you could have kept up a front for all of that. You just hoped that Sirius had enough common sense to go to his room and avoid your dad. Being a Snape, you had a natural ability for Legilimency and Occlumency; being Severusâ daughter, he made sure you knew how to utilize both. He didnât predict that he would need to use it on you. Sirius, on the other hand, hadnât been raised by Severus and wasnât trained in Occlumency as far as you knew. If Severus tried to delve into Siriusâ mind, you werenât sure what heâd find.Â
You didnât hear anything from Severus in the days leading up to your mission. You also didnât see Sirius in that time. Any nerves you had about Severus finding out disappeared when you walked into Grimmauld Place to meet Remus and Tonks before your mission. Sirius winked at you before disappearing upstairs. Luckily, Remus and Tonks were chatting in the kitchen so they didnât witness that.Â
The mission, as bland as it was, ended up being a success. You went undetected and obtained the information you needed. It wasnât great news for the Order, but it was necessary. You hated how you were disappointed that you didnât have to defend yourself at all, but when you recounted the whole thing to Sirius the next day in his room over American takeaway, he made it feel so action-packed. Then when you told him the mission felt rather boring, he comforted you and said there would be more chances to prove yourself in the future, whether that was for better or worse.Â
The week leading up to Christmas was eventful with Arthur Weasley getting attacked while patrolling the Department of Mysteries. Molly and Arthur essentially moved back into Grimmauld Place and when he was released from St. Mungoâs, you were spending more and more time at Grimmauld Place as well. You practically had a permanent potion station set up in the sitting room, ensuring that Arthur never went without a healing potion. While you reminded them that youâre not a healer, you could provide the potions that they needed.Â
By the time the Weasleys, Harry and Hermione arrived for their Christmas break, youâre all but living at Grimmauld Place. Fred and George were excited about this. All of them complained about the current Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, which youâd heard things about at Order meetings. Dolores Umbridge wasnât someone you wanted to meet.Â
You tried to keep your distance from Sirius while everyone was around. This was time that Sirius could spend with his godson and you didnât want to take any of that away from him. There was also a higher risk of someone catching you two together with so many people in the house, including the various members of the Order who popped in.Â
âY/N, can you help me with something upstairs?â Sirius asked you after dinner on Christmas Eve.Â
âErm, yeah. One second,â you replied.Â
You were helping Ginny, Tonks and Molly clear the table when he asked. You finished that, wiped your hands on your jeans and followed Sirius out of the kitchen. You grabbed a small package from where you had hid it under your coat as Sirius continued up the stairs.
In the millisecond you looked away from him, he disappeared. You went up the stairs, trying to find where he went, and you wanted to laugh at yourself when you arrived at his room and the door was slightly ajar.Â
âSirius?â you asked softly, pushing the door more open.Â
He pulled you into the room and closed the door behind you. On his bed was a wrapped present.Â
âHappy Christmas, loveâ he whispered into your ear before kissing you.Â
âHappy Christmas,â you mumbled, smiling into the kiss.Â
You kept it brief, not knowing how long you could be hidden in Siriusâ room before people got suspicious. You broke the kiss and revealed your present for him.
âIs it okay if we exchange these up here? I, erm, didnât get anyone else anythingâŚâ
Sirius chuckled at that. âThatâs why I brought you up here. I mean, and so I could kiss you. But thatâs beside the point.âÂ
He took the present from your hands and sat on his bed. You sat next to him, picking up the present on the bed and holding it in your lap. He tore into the paper. You watched his face light up as he flipped through a few pages of the book.Â
âI wasnât sure if youâd read it before. Shakespeare is really popular with the muggles and Iâve read this one a few times over. Itâs one of his comedies.â
âA Midsummerâs Night Dream, no, I havenât read this⌠Thank you,â he said.Â
âItâs the same edition I have so, erm, if itâs not too cheesy, I thought we could do a little book club with it? Itâs a play so we could plan to read certain scenes before we see each other and then talk about it?â
Sirius set the book down in his lap and held your face so you looked him in the eyes. âIâd love that. And I canât wait to read it. Really, thank you.âÂ
You smiled as he leaned in to place a quick peck on your lips. Then he nodded at the present sitting in your lap.Â
âAlright, sweetheart, open yours.â
You peeled the tape up carefully, completely different to how Sirius opened your present. There were two boxes placed on top of each other. The smaller one was a green velvet box; inside of it was a silver necklace with a small pendant with an engraved constellation. You held it up to your face to get a closer look.Â
âItâs canis majorâŚâ Sirius said, sounding nervous for the first time since youâve met him. âI was debating not giving it to you, though it might be too soon for something like thatâŚâ
âItâs beautiful, Sirius. Help me put it on?â
You gave him the necklace before lifting your hair so he could clasp it around your neck.Â
âHowâs it look?â
âYou look perfect.â
You blushed slightly as you returned your gaze to the other box from Sirius. You took the lid off to reveal an embroidered set of dueling gloves.Â
âOh my MerlinâŚâ you muttered as you tried on the left hand glove. âThese mustâve cost a fortune!â
âTheyâre for when you go on more missions.â
For a moment, the two of you sat in silence. You were examining the gloves and Sirius was watching you do so. When you looked up, you pulled him into a hug and whispered thanks into his ear.Â
âWe should probably head back down though. Weâve been gone for a while,â you sighed.Â
âJust one more thing,â Sirius said before kissing you again.Â
You giggled into his lips as his hands held your waist. He smiled brightly at you when he pulled away. The book got left in his room. You put on the necklace, tucking the pendant into your shirt as the two of you descended the stairs. Sirius then went ahead to the kitchen while you hid the gloves in your jacket. No one would be any wiser that you and your boyfriend had just exchanged gifts.Â
The rest of the evening went by without a hitch and soon enough you were wishing everyone a good night and heading out the door with Tonks. You made sure to give Sirius one last smile before leaving. Before you even got off the stoop, Tonks put her hand on your shoulder.
âY/N, there something going on between you and Black?â she asked, direct and to the point.
You tilted your head, feigning confusion. Although some of the confusion wasnât fake â how had she picked up on it when you were being so discrete?
âNo? What do you mean?âÂ
She let her hand fall and shrugged. âThought I saw a look between you. And he needed your help with that mystery task earlier. Neither of you said what it was.â
âIf thereâs any look, itâs because weâre friendly. We chat before meetings, when Iâm brewing. He makes alright company. And he wanted me to help clean up around my brewing station. No biggie.âÂ
You really hoped that no one was asking Sirius what the task was. He would likely give them a different answer and then youâd have to explain why. You and Sirius hadnât actually talked about when youâd tell people that you were seeing each other. You were still sneaking around, albeit part of that was because Sirius wasnât supposed to be leaving Grimmauld Place. But you exchanged presents in the privacy of his room. That had to mean something.Â
You stayed in on Christmas Day, using the day to relax and catch up on stuff around your shop. Between brewing for Arthur, spending time at Grimmauld Place in general and spending time with Sirius, you were letting your stock run lower than you usually liked. It was good for you to catch up beyond just needing to have products on your shelves. You could let your mind go blank when you brewed, or you could use the time to think.Â
You did think. You decided that you needed to talk to Sirius about telling people. You couldnât keep your relationship a secret forever, especially not if you wanted to get serious. You listed off people who would be priority: Harry, Remus, Severus. The big three. And then youâd tell your friends and so on. But those three would need to be the first you told.Â
You went over to Grimmauld Place on Boxing Day, and you were greeted with a chorus of voices. You headed straight to the sitting room to brew Arthurâs potions. It didnât take long for Sirius to find you. You knew he was listening for your arrival.Â
âHey, can we talk about something?â you asked, glancing at the door.
âOh, um, yeahâŚâ Sirius looked uncertain but closed the door and cast a muffling charm. âWhatâs wrong?âÂ
âNothingâs wrong, per se,â you started slowly, âbut Tonks did ask if there was something going on between us. And that got me thinking. Itâs been a few months and I donât want to sneak around forever.â
Siriusâ uncertainty melted into something softer, caring.
You continued, âI think we should tell people soon. Probably start with the Big Three.â
âThe Big Three?â he asked with a smirk. He had moved to be standing next to you as you worked on the potion.Â
âYes. Remus. Harry. My dad.â You swallowed thickly. âFrankly, I have a feeling theyâll all hate it but for different reasons.â
Sirius scoffed. âSo what if they hate it? They arenât a part of this.â
âNo, they arenât. But they are large parts of our lives. They are important.â
âDarling, they can get over themselves. What they think isnât as important as you might think.â
You shook your head, adding some mushroom stems to your cauldron.Â
âI donât want you to push away Remus and Harry for me. I know they mean the world to you. And my dad⌠Well, heâs family.â
âHey, hey, hey,â Sirius said, now crouching next to you and gently reaching out to turn your chin toward him. âRemus and Harry do mean a lot to me, but what they think about us, together⌠It wonât change how I feel about you. And, Y/N, I love you.âÂ
You stared at him with wide eyes. Neither of you had said that to each other yet. You expected it to come after you told people that you were dating, certainly not before. Siriusâ eyes were searching your face for some reaction. Whether or not you said it back didnât change how he feels about you, and it wasnât like he was going to walk away from you. You were asking about telling people so you mustâve been happy with him.
âLove?â he asked after what felt like an eternity of your staring.
âYeah?â you breathed.
âAre you okay?â
âYeah⌠Yeah, Iâm good.â Your voice came back to you. âI just wasnât expecting⌠that.â
Sirius stood up and put his hands in his pockets as he watched you continue to work on the potion.
âSo weâll start telling people,â Sirius said. âJust like if it comes up or is relevant? I mean, unless you want some formal announcement?âÂ
âAh⌠Erm, give me one second,â you said, counting out loud how many times you stirred the cauldron counterclockwise. After you hit twenty, you stood up and barreled to Sirius to hug him. âI love you too,â you murmured into his chest.Â
He barely heard it, but he did. You loved him. He placed a soft kiss on the top of your head.
âSo, big announcement or casual conversation, love?âÂ
You looked up at him, eyes sparkling. âCasual conversation and hope that people donât talk too much.â You chuckled. âImagine my dad hearing it from Harry or Remus⌠I donât think he would ever talk to me again.âÂ
After that, Sirius opened the door, dissipating the muffling charm. He sat in his usual chair and watched you finish brewing the first potion. You poured it into a bottle, set it off to the side and began preparing for the second potion. Every so often, you looked up to make eye contact with Sirius. You mirrored each otherâs wide grins. You were also sporting a subtle blush, that you would blame on the heat of your cauldron if asked about it.
âOi, Snape, you up there?â Georgeâs voice called from somewhere outside of the sitting room.Â
âYup! Brewing!â you yelled.
Within seconds, the twins entered the room, eyes briefly flicking from you to Sirius and back to you.
âWe have questions for you,â Fred said.Â
âAlright.âÂ
You saw Sirius stand up to leave the room out of the corner of your eye. When the twins didnât acknowledge him leaving, you knew their questions werenât about your relationship status.
âWeâre looking into starting a joke shop in Diagon Alley. Got someone to showing us a few places next week before we head back to school.â
âOh, thatâs brilliant! Be nice to have some younger shopkeeps around.âÂ
âYeah. We were wondering if youâd come along? Make sure the rents and such sound okay?â George asked.
âErm, yeah. Just tell me what day and Iâll make sure Iâm available.â
âAnd we want to pick your brain on some business plans,â George continued.
âIâm here all the time. You can pick my brain now, later, whenever. Even when you go back to school, you can write me.âÂ
âFantastic,â Fred said before launching into questions about how reliable their business plan was sounding.Â
You delivered the finished potions to Arthur and Molly and got roped into a game of exploding snap. You ended up staying at Grimmauld Place longer than you originally intended. They insisted you stay for dinner. And that led to several bottles of elfmade wine being drained along with you flaunting your ability to craft delicious cocktails.Â
You hadnât planned on drinking that much, but the energy of the night kept you drinking glass after glass. You hit a point where you were in no state to walk or apparate home. You tried to leave but Sirius stopped you.
âY/N, love, youâre staying here tonight. Come on,â he muttered, face close to your ear.Â
Then he helped you upstairs and to his room. You collapsed onto his bed before he could even close the door behind him. Sirius dug through his closet until he found something you could sleep in. He helped you change, despite your protests that you were now too comfy to even move, and then he tucked you under the covers. He kissed your forehead as you drifted.Â
When you woke up, you were disoriented. You didnât immediately recognize the sheets. You certainly didnât recognize the clothes you were wearing. But you knew the arm that was draped over your middle and when you actually looked around you, it dawned on you that you were in Siriusâ room. You had spent the night. Your headache was a reminder of how much you actually drank last night.Â
âMorning, beautiful,â Sirius said groggily.Â
âGood morning,â you said, rolling over so you could see his face. âHmm, this is something I could get used toâŚâ
âWhat is? Waking up hungover?â
âNo⌠Waking up next to you.â
Sirius smiled, pulling you into his chest. âI certainly donât mind it.â
When you rolled out of bed, Sirius dug through his closet and armoire to find you something else to wear. You told him you could wear yesterdayâs clothing, but he insisted on finding you fresh clothes. Once dressed, you headed downstairs for breakfast. You didnât even consider that the rest of the house might be up.Â
âY/N? I didnât hear you come in,â Remus said when you sat down at the table.Â
âOh, umâŚâ You struggled to answer.
âActually, I donât recall you leaving last night. Did you sleep here?â Fred asked, pointing his fork at you.
âI-â
âYou did!â Fred exclaimed. âYou so did!âÂ
âWhereâd you even sleep?â George asked.
Siriusâ room. Nope. You couldnât just say that. Yes, you said that you would tell people about your relationship with Sirius. Breakfast with Remus, George, Fred, Ginny and Hermione didnât feel like the right time.
âMy room,â Sirius answered for you. âTurns out I have a very comfortable floor. Who wouldâve thought?âÂ
âRightâŚâ Remus said, taking in that you were wearing Siriusâ clothes.
Remus had known Sirius for too long; he knows that Sirius hates sleeping anywhere but a bed. There was no chance that Sirius slept on the floor. He let the topic drop for breakfast but made a mental note to talk to Sirius about it later.Â
When everyone scattered throughout the house doing their own things, Remus found Sirius in his room with the door open. He was reading the book you got him for Christmas. Remus stepped into the room, closing the door behind him with a soft click.
âDid you shag her?â His voice was quiet but steady.Â
Sirius didnât even look up from his book. âNo.â
He knew Remus meant last night â that was the only thing keeping his answer from being a lie. Remus narrowed his eyes at Sirius. He was searching for Siriusâ tells, but there werenât any.Â
âSo she just slept in your bed. And you slept on the floor.âÂ
âI⌠may have been in the bed with her. But we didnât shag.âÂ
Remus tutted. âSheâs Snapeâs kid.âÂ
âAnd?âÂ
âYouâve been getting close with her.â
âI have. Weâre quite close. It happens when you spend a lot of time with someone,â Sirius stated, closing his book. âIâd say Iâm rather close with you too.â
Remus stayed quiet for a moment as he studied Sirius. He shook his head.
âYouâre not telling me something.â
âWhat am I not telling you?â Sirius asked, unable to prevent his smirk from forming.
âMerlin, sheâs Snapeâs kid!â
âMoony, what are you asking?â
âAre you⌠Merlin, Padfoot⌠Please tell me youâre not.â
Sirius barked a laugh. âWe are.â
âYou have to be kidding me⌠FuckâŚâ Remus ran a frustrated hand down his face, briefly turning away from Sirius. âHow long has this been⌠a thing?â
âFew months.â
âMonths?â
âMonths.â
âThatâs why sheâs been spending so much time here.â
âPart of it, yeah.â
âWho all knows?â
âYou.â
Remus choked on air. âMe? Thatâs it?â
âWeâre getting ready to tell people. Just waiting for the right time.â
âYou⌠You should not be so relaxed about this! Iâm sorry, Pads, but I donât see how it lasts. And, Merlin, this is Snivelyâs kid. You know that, right?â
âIâm very aware. She wants to be the one to tell him, so donât go bringing it up.â
âThatâs the best plan for your survivalâŚâÂ
âSo, you good? Or do you need to yell at me?â
âI⌠I⌠I donât know,â Remus stuttered. âJust⌠ugh. I donât know. It feels wrong.â
âNot to us.â
âThat⌠doesnât help.â
Remus walked out of Siriusâ room. Sirius picked up his book with a small smile playing at his lips. One person down, two to go.Â
Here I am again, my favorite Harry Potter fandom writer :)
I saw something on TikTok, but I lost it because the page was refreshed before I could watch the end and see the creator of the video. But it gave me an idea:
Severus Snape's daughter x Marauders (which you know my preference is always Sirius đ)
Severus doesn't have much love for his child since Lily is not her mother, but as a father who is aware of his own family history, he makes sure that his daughter lives a relatively happy life in good conditions. She will probably have a natural talent for potions and defense against the dark arts.
In this case, I honestly didn't think how to connect her to Sirius, there would probably be an age difference problem⌠ah but I want to hope that my favorite author can do something about impossible love đâ¤ď¸đ
Cora! â¤ď¸ This did become an age-gap fic (approx. 16 years between reader and Sirius). I spent so much time on HP wiki trying to figure out canon birth years. I set it in OotP with a post-Azkaban Sirius.
Hopefully this works for impossible love â¤ď¸ I mean, Sirius is always gonna hate Severus but that doesn't mean Sirius can't love his daughter!
Snape Spawn
Sirius Black x Snape!reader
part two, part three, part four
6.7k words
cw: age gap!, Y/N, pining?, snog, fluff if you squint
In the aftermath of losing Lily for calling her a mudblood, Severus became a pathetic mess. He lived more and more inside of his head just to survive. When he went home for the summer, he didnât have the respite of Lilyâs company when his parents became too much. To put it shortly and concisely, he found comfort in some girlâs arms, a girl also tempted by Voldemortâs preaching.Â
When he returned to Hogwarts in the fall, she wrote to him. He was going to be a father.Â
The girl didnât survive much past your birth. Your grandparents took care of you for a few years, until they reached an age where they were unfit to do so. They returned you to Severus, being that he was now of age and able to fulfil his role of father.Â
He did so, although not gratefully.Â
You were raised in a tolerable home. Severus knew he couldnât bring up a child in a home similar to the one he was raised in, so he did his best to ensure that you were happy. He found himself wishing you were the offspring of Lily, rather than some girl who wouldâve joined the ranks of Voldemort. He kept you in the dark when he did join the Death Eaters. You were to be protected.Â
When Voldemort fell and Severus became a double agent, you were still unaware of everything. He took a job at Hogwarts as the Potions master, per Dumbledoreâs request. You were watched over by a couple in Hogsmeade while he worked.Â
When you came of age, you attended Hogwarts, being sorted into Slytherin. Some people immediately questioned if Severus was fair when grading your assignments for his class; you had only received Oâs from him. Despite your high grades across the board, next highest being Defense Against the Dark Arts, there was enough suspicion for Dumbledore to step in. When the headmaster deemed that your work was exceptional and far above the rest of your peers, the concerns settled down.
Your expertise in potion making rivaled that of your fathers, as did your passion for it. You made plenty of extra potions in your spare time. You had a complete collection of potions in your dorm. You would sell some for non-academic purposes, the most popular being various healing potions. You also supplied the veritaserum for Truth or Dares at parties. Despite being the daughter of the least-liked professor at Hogwarts, you were fairly well liked.Â
After you graduated, you opened an Apothecary in Diagon Alley. You and Severus spoke less and less. As he saw it, you were no longer his responsibility. And really, you werenât. You didnât reach out to him. Just the occasional letter to him at Christmas and his birthday and you received a letter on yours.Â
Then you got a letter from Severus that confused you. It said âHappy Birthdayâ but your birthday had passed and you had already received your annual letter. There was something else off about the letter: several words were misspelled. Out of curiosity, you wrote down the correct letters and it spelled out a potion. It was one you always had in stock, although it was particularly difficult to brew. You knew it was a long shot and probably wouldnât do anything, but you took the potion and poured it over the letter.Â
A short message appeared at the bottom.Â
Danger lies ahead. Meet me.
And then an address appeared with instructions.Â
You were quite confused when you arrived at 12 Grimmauld Place. You followed the directions left for you. You were even more confused when after you knocked on the door, you heard screaming from inside and then Remus Lupin opened the door.
âErm, Professor?â you asked.
He stepped aside and let you in.
âSnape, sheâs here!â he yelled down the hallway and then up the stairs, âSomeone shut that portrait up!âÂ
âY/N,â Severus said, standing in the doorway at the end of the hallway. âYou came.â
You held out the letter before saying deadpan, âItâs not my birthday.âÂ
You looked past your father into a kitchen filled with people. Most of them were adults older than you, closer to your fatherâs age and older. Nymphandora Tonks was probably the person closest to your age. You looked back at Severus.
âWhat is this? What danger-?â you started to ask.
âBring the girl in, weâll fill her in with the door shut, please,â a firm, female voice said from within the kitchen.
Severus turned and you followed him into the kitchen, along with Remus. You recognized Molly and Arthur Weasley from graduation. You were in the same year as Percy, who was absent. The only other people you recognized were McGonagall and Mad-Eye Moody, from his picture in the paper.Â
You took a seat at the table and crossed your arms. You were waiting for an answer.
âSo this is your spawn, Snivelly?â a smooth voice said from the end of the table that had been out of view from the door.
You turned your head to see Remus sit down next to Sirius Black. He looked more sane and put together than he did in all of his mug shots that littered the Daily Prophet two years ago.Â
âMerlin, when did you sire her? Sheâs older than Harry,â Sirius continued, eyeing you up and down.Â
It only made you narrow your eyes at him. The arrogance that he emanated didnât sit well with you. You had a feeling that you werenât going to like him, no matter how handsome you were beginning to think he was.Â
âNone of your business,â Severus snarled, taking the seat next to you and putting himself between you and Sirius.Â
âSheâs of age. Otherwise she wouldnât be here and we wouldnât be about to tell her about the Order,â Remus said.Â
The way that Remus looked at Sirius told you that Sirius would be filled in on you later. Remus had been one of your favorite professors at Hogwarts. It certainly helped that he taught your favorite subject and did a much better job at it than Lockhart did. Severus had warned you the moment Remus was hired that he was a werewolf. He had made you promise to remain in your dorm during full moons. Even with his Wolfsbane potion, Severus wanted Remus nowhere near you.Â
âThe Order? Is someone going to explain? I had to close up shop early,â you said as you looked around the table.Â
âThe Order of the Phoenix. Dumbledore founded it when You-Know-Who first rose to power. And now that heâs backâŚâ Arthur said. âArthur Weasley, by the way.â
âSo he is⌠he is back?â you asked, looking at your father for confirmation.Â
He nodded.
âWe fought him once and weâll fight him again,â Moody said gruffly.Â
You folded your hands in front of you. You swallowed thickly, once again looking from person to person around the room.Â
âWhere do I come into this?â you asked quietly.
âThey want you to join,â Severus said. âThey assumed youâd want to fight. Particularly, Lupin.â
You leaned forward to get a clear look at Remus and cocked an eyebrow when you made eye contact.Â
âYouâre a talented witch, Y/N. Youâll want to be on the right side of this,â Remus said.Â
You thought about the idea of fighting. If Voldemort really was back, you knew there would be another war brewing and which side you would support.Â
âHow do I help? What do I need to do?âÂ
âTold you sheâd agree,â Remus told Severus, a smirk appearing on his face.Â
Mad-Eye and Arthur went into a deeper discussion about what the Order did, how secretive they needed to be, how they would communicate with you. Remus added a random comment here and there. You nodded as you listened intently. You gave Severus the occasional glance but he sat with a stoney expression. Beyond him, Sirius watched you with an amused look that you didnât like. In your opinion, this meeting of the Order was no place for an expression like that.Â
After the delegation of assignments and missions, Molly looked at you and said, âYouâre welcome to stay for dinner if youâd like.â
âOh, um, I donât knowâŚâ
Severus put his hand on your shoulder, grabbing your attention.
âIâll see you at the next meeting,â he said before disappearing out of the kitchen.
You briefly turned your head to watch him leave. You chuckled to yourself. Typical.Â
âMeetingâs over?â Hermione asked, entering the kitchen.Â
âMum, what is for dinner?â Ron added, following her.
You and Molly moved to the side to allow for the new people entering and the members leaving. Then two pops could be heard from the hallway before Fred and George came in. Their eyes locked in on you.Â
âSnape! Long time!â George called, wearing a grin that matched his twinâs.Â
âWeasley one and two. Howâd you two survive last year without me?âÂ
âDreadful. Had to find a new way into the Slytherin Common Room,â Fred answered. âAre you staying for dinner?âÂ
âI guess I am now. Didnât know you were here.âÂ
âWow, we rank that high?â Fred asked, giving you a wink and earning an eye roll from you.
âYou rank because you funded the first few months of my shopâs rent,â you deadpanned before breaking into a smile. âAnd I want to know why you needed so many wiggenwelds.â
As the people in the kitchen shifted, you found yourself sat at the table again. This time, as you sat across from the twins with Tonks to your left, you felt older, less like the child in the room. Arthur, Molly, Remus and Sirius were the only other members of the Order who remained.Â
You turned to Tonks and muttered, âI thought this was going to be more of a⌠Order meal.â
She shook her head and gave Molly a weary glance. You both knew you werenât supposed to talk about Order stuff around the younger kids, but you thought it was safe enough.Â
âNot many stay. Molly invites them every time.âÂ
Then the twins took over your attention. They told you about what they got up to your last year at Hogwarts when they bought healing potion after healing potion from you. They recounted the Triward Tournament and everything that happened last year. At one point, you explained to Tonks how you let the twins into the Slytherin Common Room on several occasions so that they could prank some of your more foul housemates.
Sirius wouldnât admit it, but he was listening intently to your conversation and stealing momentary glances of you.Â
Some time after you left and everyone had dispersed throughout the house, Remus sat with Sirius in the drawing room.Â
âWhen did you find out Snivellus had a kid?â Sirius asked.
âWhen her name appeared on my roster.â
âYou taught her? And you didnât tell me?â
âI hadnât seen you in twelve years, Padfoot. It didnât seem important. Why do you care so much?â
Sirius didnât answer. He didnât know why your existence was so intriguing to him. Maybe it was the shock that Severus had actually managed to be intimate with someone. Sirius had watched you all through the meeting and then practically all dinner. Seeing you interact with Tonks and the twins, and everyone really, made it clear that you were a much different person than Severus.Â
âYou said sheâd want to join. What made you think that?âÂ
âYou remember how Severus was in school, with the dark arts?â Remus asked. âShe had that same intense interest, except in Defense. Wasnât a better student in her year. I was shocked when I heard she wasnât going for an Auror position.â
âDidnât she say something about a shop?â
Remus nodded. âFollows Snivy in that sense. Runs an apothecary in Diagon Alley.â
âIâm still not over that Snivellus has a kidâŚâ Sirius muttered with a sigh.Â
---
Over the next few weeks, you met more and more of the Orderâs members. Each meeting was a different combination of people. Molly, Arthur, Remus and Sirius were the only consistents. The Weasleys were fine, as was Remus. He insisted that you call him by his name, being that he was no longer a professor and you were no longer a student. It took time.
And then there was Sirius. This handsome man who looked at you with ever-changing expressions. One day he would be intrigued by you and the next he would be disgusted. You exchanged very few words with him. He was always on the other side of the room. And yet, your eyes often locked with his.Â
âRemus, we need you to come with us,â Molly called from the door. âY/N, can you stay? Weâll need healing potions when we get back.â
âErm, yeah. Yeah, I can stay. Is there-â you started to ask.
âPotions station? Upstairs. Have Sirius show you,â Remus said before following Molly and Arthur out of the house.Â
Once the door closed, you sighed. You hadnât been on a mission yet, and you knew it was because of how young you were. It was a bit frustrating. You were of age. They asked you to be a part of the order. And here you were, staying behind to be a potioneer. Yes, you were good at it, but you were also exceptional at dueling. Remus had told you that before.Â
You looked around for Sirius. He wasnât in the kitchen or anywhere on the main floor. You checked the various rooms as you ascended the stairs. You asked the Weasleys and Hermione if theyâd seen him and all you got were shrugs in response. Great.Â
Then, with a sigh because it was so obvious, you knocked on his bedroomâs door.Â
âWhat?â his voice bellowed from inside.
âSirius, I, erm, I need a potion station? Profess-, ahem, Remus said to ask you for it,â you said loudly to ensure your voice carried through the closed door.
There was a moment of silence before the sounds of him grumbling and getting up before he opened the door. He was more casually dressed than you had ever seen him. You were caught off guard by how effortlessly handsome he was.
âWait in the drawing room. Iâll bring it down.âÂ
You nodded. Sirius turned to go higher up the stairs and you went the opposite direction. You paced around the drawing room while you waited for him to return. You set up your travel package of potion ingredients. You knew that the Order had some stock, but something told you that your personal stock would be of higher quality and you preferred it when you knew where each ingredient came from. The sources could really affect the effectiveness of a potion.Â
You jumped when the potion station clanked through the door, followed by a string of swears from Sirius.Â
âSorry, just this damn thingâŚâ
You looked at it with a subtle gasp.
âMerlin, thatâs ancient.â
Once it was in the room, you took over levitating it toward the middle of the room so you would have plenty of room to maneuver around it.Â
âWell, it was my parents soâŚâ Siriusâ voice trailed off, his eyes studying your every move. âCanât say how much it actually got used around here.â
âI keep forgetting this is your parentsâ place. Must be strange to have it turned into headquarters when you grew up here.âÂ
You started a fire and immediately went into work mode, starting a large batch of classic wiggenwelds. Sirius unceremoniously fell into a rickety armchair before getting comfortable. Surely watching you work would be more entertaining than staring at the ceiling in his room.Â
âStrange doesnât even begin to cover it.â
Without looking up from the cauldron, you asked, âHow would you describe it then?âÂ
âHorrible,â he said quickly. He didnât even pause to think about it. âItâs a prison. It was when I was growing up here and it still is. Different kinds of torture, but it boils down to the same pain.âÂ
You glanced at him through your eyelashes, only briefly as to keep the majority of your attention on the potion that was beginning to simmer. He looked utterly at ease in the chair.
âThey say we canât risk you getting captured. Dementorâs kiss and all.â
Sirius chucked. âThey say⌠Like staying here isnât sucking my soul out all the same.â
âItâs not exactly⌠cheerful.â
âMy damned house elf was never a good housekeeper. Nor was my mother an interior designer. Parents took too much pride in their family heirlooms to consider taste.âÂ
You hummed. âI take it you think you have taste, then?â
âOh, I know I do. I mean, donât take my room here for example. If you could see my room at the Potter Manor?â He shook his head with a sigh. âAnd I had barely settled after moving out when⌠when it all happened.â
You sat back on your heels, turning a muggle cooking timer you had in your pack. The potion needed to sit for some time.
âDo you want to talk about those years? Or should we change the subject?â you asked, placing some of your tools back into their case.
He barked a laugh and tilted his head back against the chairâs fraying material.Â
âChange the subject. Thereâs not much to say about sitting in a cell and rotting for twelve years.â
âSays the only man to escape Azkaban.â
âDifferent subject, darling.â
âOkay, okay. Can I ask why it feels like youâre always staring at me during meetings?âÂ
âEasy. Because I am.â
The casualness in his answer took you by surprise. Who admits to staring at a person?Â
âWhy?â
âYouâre Snivyâs kid,â Sirius said like it was an obvious answer, but it made you frown.
âI take it you and my dad didnât get along.âÂ
âI wouldnât say we were friends, no. But the feeling was mutual.âÂ
âSo Severus is my dad. Why does that make you stare?â you asked, standing up and crossing your arms over your chest. This time, it was you studying him, taking in every detail of his features.Â
Under your intense gaze, SIrius sat up in the chair and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.
âTrying to figure out how much like him you are.â
You hummed. âIâm sure someone told you it doesnât matter if you like dad or me. Thereâs a bigger problem at hand that doesnât require us to be friends.âÂ
Sirius flexed his eyebrows in mild annoyance.
âItâs not friendship Iâm looking for from you,â he said, sounding irritated that he had to explain this. âCan I trust you? Can we trust you?â
You scoffed and took a step backwards.Â
âWhy wouldnât you be able to trust me?â
âBecause I donât trust your father. I donât care if Dumbledore does. I donât care he claims to be a changed man. Once a Death Eater, always a Death Eater.â
Suddenly, your expression changed into complete shock and disbelief. It hit Sirius that perhaps you didnât know of your fatherâs history and the mark he bore on his left arm.Â
âOh, you didnât knowâŚâ
âDad was⌠is⌠wasâŚâ you stuttered. âNo⌠He-he canât⌠What?âÂ
âIâm sorry, I wouldnâtâve said anything if I knew you didnât knowâŚâ
âNo,â you said, holding up a hand to silence Sirius. âIâm glad you told me. You really would think I would know that about my own father⌠MerlinâŚâÂ
Sirius stood up and took exactly one step toward you. Then your timer went off. The cauldron captured all of your attention again. You removed it from the fire, stirred it and added the final ingredients. Sirius didnât sit back down. He was too distracted with how you turned off your emotions to deal with the potion. It was like you suddenly didnât care that a portion of your fatherâs identity had been hidden from you for your entire life because you had a duty, a duty to be prepared when the members of the Order returned.Â
âSirius,â you said after a few minutes. âThank you for telling me about my father.â
âTheyâre back!â Ginny yelled from downstairs.
âGreat, help me take this down to the kitchen?â you asked, gesturing to the cauldron.Â
âYeah, Iâll bring it. You go ahead, assess the damage done.â
You chuckled softly. âIâm no healer. Just a potioneer.âÂ
---
Slowly, you started talking to Sirius before and after meetings. The ones Severus attended, you avoided his eye. You had never questioned some things before, and now you were. The more you thought on your childhood, things that previously seemed odd made sense, given Siriusâ revelation.Â
Severus wasnât oblivious to your sudden coldness to him. He cornered you after one of the meetings.Â
âAre you feeling alright?â he asked.
âWhat?â you replied, barely able to bring yourself to look at him.Â
âYouâre avoiding me,â Severus said plainly. âItâs unlike you.âÂ
You shrugged before crossing your arms.Â
âSo what if I am? Youâre not who I thought you were.â
âIâm your father,â he hissed, leaning forward like he was trying to assert his dominance over you.Â
You kept your head held high. âRoll up your sleeves then, Father.â
Severus stood up straighter, taking a step backwards. He glanced around the room. Then he grabbed your arm and pulled you out of the kitchen.
âCome with me,â he snarled, dragging you up the stairs until you reached the drawing room. He closed the door behind you and casted a muffling charm. âWho told you?â
âDoesnât matter. It should have been you.â
âIt does matter, Y/N.â
You scoff, turning away from him. You didnât see why it mattered who told you, just that it hadnât been him. You knew now and you didnât know how you could trust your father. You agreed with Sirius on that point; it didnât matter if Dumbledore trusted him. You decided that your father had to re-earn your trust. You were his daughter, his own flesh and blood. How come he wasn't the one who told you?
âYou made yourself a liability,â he said.
âOh no, whatâs going to happen? I canât go on missions? Oh, wait, I havenât been on one.â
âYouâre starting to sound like⌠MerlinâŚâ Severus said.
Severus stormed out of the room and practically flew down the stairs. Even from upstairs, you could hear his threats.
âAre you trying to turn her against me? Do you ever think about your actions?â
âI didnât know Y/N didnât know!â Siriusâ voice replied, carrying as much anger as your fatherâs did. âShe deserved to know.âÂ
âSeverus! Sirius!â Molly yelled.Â
You could imagine what the kitchen looked like. Severus at Siriusâ throat. Despite the anger in his voice, Sirius would maintain an even expression, or it would be masked with a casual grin. Molly was certainly trying to get in between them.Â
âMolly, donât you agree that Y/N should know of past alliances?â Sirius asked.
âY/N, maybe. The rest of the house? No.â
You rolled your eyes as you left the drawing room and went down the stairs. You slipped out the front door before you could overhear any more of the argument. Something flipped in you and you didnât feel like seeing Severus or Sirius in the aftermath of that meeting. You also didnât want to talk to Molly and explain your part in it. You knew you wouldnât be able to avoid it forever; there would be more Order meetings. But that wouldnât be for a week, and people would be able to settle down.Â
The next week, you arrived early. Youâre not sure why, but it felt like the thing to do. The Advance Guard was gathering. You werenât a part of it, surprise surprise. You knew that Severus wouldnât be, but he would arrive as close to meeting time as he could. Sirius would be around.Â
âY/N, youâre not needed until later,â Remus said as you walked through the door and hung up your coat.
âI know,â you said casually. âBut I can have tea in my flat, alone, or I can have tea here.âÂ
You walked past the guard, which proved more difficult than it should have been as they stood in the narrow hallway. There was no one in the kitchen, which you found odd. It was usually the life of the house, especially before meetings. You knew the kids liked to linger in attempts to be overlooked so they could attend a meeting. Molly always spotted them and kicked them out. âMembers only,â sheâd say to their protests as they declared that theyâd like to join.Â
You put a kettle on and milled around, looking for the various things you need. Cup, tea leaves, sugar. Maybe a biscuit if they had some. You find everything you need just as the kettle whistles, and then you settle at the table.Â
It doesnât take long before Sirius enters the kitchen, smiling when he sees you. He took the seat next to you. After a minute, he reached over to grab your cup and took a sip of your tea. He made a face as he placed it back in front of you.
âGot enough sugar in there?â
âNot a fan of this blend,â you deadpanned, which was a partial truth. You also just liked your tea on the sweeter side. âYou excited to see Harry?âÂ
Sirius tensed slightly but then he nodded.
âYes. I wish he couldâve come sooner or we couldâve written him any kind of informationâŚâ He gave you a soft look. âItâs not like with you. He doesnât have the ability to solve a riddle and brew up some potion to counteract a cursed piece of parchment. Bloody muggles he lives withâŚâ
âIâve heard stories,â you muttered. âThey put bars on his windows at some point.â
Siriusâ eyes widened at that.
âThey did what?â
âThe muggles, um, Fred and George said they rescued him from some horrible situation a few years back. Youâd have to ask them âbout it.â
Sirius nodded and the two of you fell into a mostly comfortable silence. Slowly, other members of the Order started to fill the kitchen and the seats at the table. The murmur of small talk broke up the silence. Then there was a commotion by the front door â Harry had arrived.Â
You remained seated as Molly and Sirius went to greet him and the Advance Guard. You made brief eye contact with Harry before he was ushered upstairs and Molly closed the kitchen door so the meeting could start. Sirius sat down next to you, but the air around him was changed.Â
You stayed for dinner again. In exchanging Order Members for the non-members, Sirius got up and sat down next to Remus. The spots on either side of you were filled by Fred and George. You sunk into your seat as Harry asked question after question about the Order as Sirius encouraged him and Molly shut him down. It was tense. You just wanted a warm home cooked meal, not an argument if the Harry Potter should be allowed into the Order and who was his family.Â
The meal took far too long in your opinion. You barely took the time to say goodbye before hurrying out the door and making your way back to your flat. You sighed in the darkness. You didnât bother turning on the lights, not needing it to cross the small distance to your room. The emptiness of your flat reminded you that you liked the solitude of it. It wasn't busy or filled with raging arguments. It was calm. It was quiet. It was you.Â
The next few meetings, Sirius didnât sit near you. He didnât bother to say hello or bye. You practically glued yourself to Tonks, given she was the only person in the room who currently didnât make you feel like a child. Yes, you were the baby of the group, but you didnât need to feel like that. It didnât help that you still hadnât been chosen to go on a mission. Your main and only task was to stay behind and prepare potions in case the worst happens on the mission.Â
âIâm not a healer,â you reminded everyone time and time again, only to be dismissed.Â
You started leaving Grimmauld Place in a huff more often than not. Then you heard about the group selected to accompany Harry to Kingâs Cross. You didnât even bother showing up to headquarters on September 1. No one was going to attack the boy at the train station, and you knew there would be no need for potions when the Order members returned. Youâd hear about how Sirius tagged along in his animagus form during the next meeting. Great. Even Sirius technically got to go on a mission.Â
Your attitude toward the Order was worsening. You knew that it was the side to be on. You knew you signed up for this, but it really wasnât living up to any expectations that you had. Then, Remus approached you with a desperate request. You couldnât turn him down.Â
Sirius sat watching you as you worked on preparing the Wolfsbane potion. Remus was running out and Severus claimed to be too busy to brew it. You couldâve brewed it at your shop but something drew you to headquarters. So you sat in the drawing room with the ancient brewing station, a wide variety of ingredients and a potions book. You could feel Siriusâ eyes on you, taking in every motion.Â
âDo you need something?â you asked, an air of impatience to your voice.Â
Sirius doesnât respond right away. He had been in his thoughts thinking about how when Severus was that intensely focused on a potion, Sirius wouldâve made fun of him for it, but when it was you, it was fascinating and beautiful.Â
âNo,â Sirius said firmly.
You spared him a glance. It barely lasted a second. Sirius made no effort to pretend that he wasnât staring at you. You sighed. You werenât a huge fan of having someone watch your every move while you brewed a potion. You were no longer in school; you didnât need supervision.
âIf you donât need anything, why are you in here?âÂ
âItâs my house,â he replied flatly.Â
âLook,â you said, standing up and brushing yourself off before slowly walking over to him. âI know you and my father donât get along. But Iâm brewing that-â You gestured back toward the cauldron. âFor Remus, who is your friend. And I really donât need any distract-â
You were cut off by Siriusâ lips pressing onto yours as he leaned upward. You hadnât realized you were standing close enough to his chair for him to do that. You took a shocked step backwards. Sirius stood up with a smirk on his face.
âThanks, on behalf of Remus. Iâll leave you to finish that. Uninterrupted. And if you need me, Iâll be in my room.â
No distractions. That is what you had been asking of Sirius and instead, he gave you one of the biggest distractions that he could. You watched him leave the room and then tried to regain your focus. You had a task at hand. A rather important one, if you asked anyone who knew of Remusâ condition. The liquid started to bubble and you swore, hurrying to stir in the next ingredient.Â
Your mind kept drifting back to Sirius and the fact that he kissed you. And then left? Well, you had been in the middle of asking him to leave, but still. You donât kiss someone and leave. Not like that.
You finished brewing the Wolfsbane and poured it into a collection of vials. You took your time cleaning up, debating what you wanted to do. You were still debating it as you went to find Remus and give him the vials. The upcoming full moon was already taking effect on him. He looked more tired and weak than usual. You knew the potion helped but it was still a far cry from a cure-all.Â
Then you found the door that said âSirius Orion Blackâ on it. You stood outside it for at least a full minute before raising your hand to knock on it. But you didnât knock. Not right away. You let your hand fall. Then you raised it again, and let it fall. On the third try, because third timeâs the charm, you knocked. You could hear movement from inside the room and then he opened the door.Â
Sirius watched you with curious eyes as you walked into his room. He closed the door behind you. You scanned the room, scoffing at the posters of motorbikes and girls in bikinis.
âClassy,â you said. âThis is the taste that your parents didnât have?â
âIf I recall, I said to not count my room here. I put all this up when I was like 13? 14? Give or take. And permanent sticking charms are more powerful than most people give them credit for.â
âAh, thatâd be the lack of understanding for the word permanent.â
Sirius chuckled at that and leaned against his desk. Once again, he was watching your every move. He couldnât help the smirk that pulled at his lips as you cautiously sat down on his bed. You were still taking in the time capsule of Siriusâ childhood when you spoke.
âSo, um, what was that? Downstairs.â You knew you sounded confused, unsure of how you felt about it.
âWhen you said that I donât get along with your⌠with Severus,â he started, saying your fatherâs name with a moderate level of disgust, âyou werenât wrong. Apparently, I have strong emotions for Snapes. For him, itâs⌠ahem, not good. But you?â He took a breath and shook his head. âI canât get you out of my head. At first I thought it was because youâre his kid. But itâs not that. Itâs⌠Merlin, youâre something else, you know?âÂ
You just stare at him. You didnât quite understand what he was saying. This time it was your turn to watch him as he stood up from leaning against his desk and made his way toward you. He stood in front of you for a moment, running a gentle finger along your jaw from your ear down to your chin.Â
As he sat next to you, he added, âAnd I tried to stop what I feel for you. Bury it deep. But, fuck, Y/N, youâre irresistableâŚâ
âSo August wasâŚâ
âThat was me telling myself this would never work. Youâre a Snape. Thereâs no way you could want me like I want you.â
You wanted to laugh. Sirius was devilishly handsome and you found he was easy to get along with. You liked how he didnât treat you like a child and understood why you felt less than in the Order, since you were both consistently left behind.Â
âWhat made you⌠change your mind?â you asked, turning so your body was angled toward him.
âI may be very much reading into it, but I donât think so since youâre here now. But you brewed Remusâ potion here rather than your little apothecary shop. Thought that it might be because Iâm here. And then you were about to call me a distraction.â
This time you did laugh.
âCocky much? Assuming a distraction is a good thing?âÂ
He leaned in so his face was only centimeters from yours. âIs it?â
You hated how your breath caught in your throat. You hated how Sirius obviously noticed with his smirk growing into a wide grin. He leaned in more. His lips werenât quite touching yours but you swore you could feel them move as he spoke.
âIt is, isnât it?â
âJust kiss me again, Black,â you breathed.
That was all he needed to press his lips to yours again. You didnât pull back this time. You leaned into him, kissing back with passion you hadnât felt in years. Sirius had one hand cupping your face and the other holding onto your waist, holding your body in place. The voice in his head kept saying that any moment now youâd remember that Sirius is the same age as your father and it would disgust you. You kept proving the voice wrong with each passing second.Â
Soon enough you were no longer sitting on Siriusâ bed. You straddled him, pressing your body against his. Both his hands were traveling your body, feeling the softness of your skin under your shirt. You simply had an arm around his neck and a hand in his hair.Â
You felt like you had fire in your veins as Siriusâ lips left yours but kept pressing wet kisses to your skin. He moved to your jaw and down your neck until he found the sweet spot near your collarbone.
A firm knock on his door froze the both of you where you sat practically intertwined.Â
âPadfoot, Iâm going for takeaway. Want anything?â Remus called through the door.Â
You pressed your mouth against Siriusâ shoulder to prevent yourself from giggling. There was something so utterly teenage about almost getting caught snogging. You and Sirius were both adults, but being walked in on by Remus would still have felt mortifying.
âNah, mate, Iâm good,â Sirius yelled back. His hands were still holding your side and back under your shirt.Â
âAlright.â There was a pause. âDid little Snape leave? I didnât hear the door.âÂ
You pulled back from Siriusâ shoulder with wide eyes. You didnât know what you wanted him to stay. If Sirius said you were still here, Remus would probably ask if you wanted anything or where you were since you clearly werenât anywhere else in the house. If he said you were gone and Remus decided to come in for some reason, Sirius would have to explain why he lied. Well, it would be obvious why he lied, but still. You figured it would be better if Sirius said you were gone and then you could sneak out while Remus was gone.Â
âSheâs quiet, that one. Mum wouldâve liked her,â Sirius replied and you nodded approvingly.Â
âRight. Okay. Iâll be back.âÂ
You and Sirius sat silently. You listened to Remus descend the rest of the stairs and leave the house.Â
âIâll have to be gone before he gets back,â you said.
âOr you could stay,â Sirius offered. âSay you forgot something or another.â
You placed a kiss on Siriusâ cheek. âYeah? And then what?âÂ
âThenâŚâ Sirius drew out the word as if pondering your question. âYou spend the night?â
You let out a dry laugh. âOh, Sirius, I donât fuck on the first date.â You patted his cheek gently before removing yourself from his lap. You tried not to look at the tent in his pants, the result of having you. âHow about you make me dinner sometime?â
Sirius had frowned when you got up but it was quickly replaced with a smile when you suggested dinner.
âAnd if Iâm no chef?â
You shrugged. âI could pick up takeaway. Or, if youâre really nice, I could make something.âÂ
Then, realization hit you and you sat back down next to Sirius.Â
âIf this happens,â you said, gesturing between you and Sirius, âweâll have to tell my father.â
Siriusâ grin only grew, something wicked flickering in his eyes. âI canât wait to tell him.â
âThatâll help you mend your past,â you muttered, earning a bark of a laugh from Sirius.
âI think weâre well past being able to mend anything, sweetheart,â he said. âBut I can be cordial if it means I can have you.â
You jam a finger into his chest. âDonât get ahead of yourself. So far all you are is a good snog.â
âA good snog, eh? High reviews.â
âThink youâre open on Friday?â you asked, standing up again and straightening your shirt.
âLetâs see,â Sirius said, mock-pondering. âTomorrow, Friday, next week, next month⌠Iâm open.â
âRight, sorry.â You gave Sirius a small smile. âChinese sound good? Iâll pick it up and be over âround 7?â