this is a little long for a tumblr post, I'll put a "keep reading" for everyone's benefit. By the way, I appreciate it that you chose me as a transmed you chose to send this somewhat-hate-ask to. (Dislike ask? Can we make that a word we use?)
Its not about how others view me. It never was, and isn't for most transmeds, and if it is, they should probably reevaluate their opinions. Its about not associating with certain types of individuals I do not agree with. It's to distance myself from people I hate claiming a shared "identity", despite myself having nothing in common with them. It hurt, the belief that sort of "identity" tied me to them. I was like this for about half a year, and after a while of it, I ended up with some pretty awful thoughts about myself and others, and very deep internalized transphobia. This, eventually, was noticed, and I had to go to therapy. That made me realize not everyone sees it as an identity, and there is more than one view on this. Around the same time, I found out about transmedicalism from a video criticizing it, and immediately began to support it, as it provided a perfect explanation of most things I had already thought of. Transsexualism being a condition, a belief I had come to around the end of therapy. It also provided a neat term I much more agreed with, transsexual, as transgender, implies gender can change, however, mine did not. I was always a boy, mentally, and it is only my sex which I am seeking to change. At first, I labeled myself a "transmed supporter", as i wasn't fully, but then realized my beliefs are close enough to just say I am. That is why I am transmed. Not for some weak opinion of another. Now to adress your other point, "throwing other trans people under the bus". There's two different points this statement makes. Firstly, that the people I am "throwing under the bus" are trans. I do not believe they are. (This first statement is more of an insult than a real argument I'm making.). Secondly, that I am throwing people under the bus. I actually am not doing anything to them, simply I am refusing to stand by them, and disagree with what they are doing. At the end of the day, however, they can do what they want, and I cannot stop them, and wouldn't, as that is immoral due to the fact we are all people with our own beliefs about every little and large thing there is. In a perfect world, we would be two different groups, so we could move forward, and all get our own thing. This is why I actually already have a few tucute friends, one even being on this very website. There is nothing wrong with my heart, it is only the fact you think what I believe is immoral. It is only the fact you assume I've done anything other than be a mild annoyance to others, and if this particular item is your argument, I only offer the same oppertunity in return. It states in my description that tucutes are very welcome to interact and bother me, because I think it's funny, and they can do so back. If this is due to some harsh statement I made, please do point it out. I get mad sometimes and say things. Perhaps it is something I would regret. If so, I apologize.
Oh, also, in regards to "dead and alone", that too is quite curious, as I've experienced quite the opposite. Ever since transmedicalism, I am now far less suicidal, have a supporting community which I find funny, charismatic, and mutually caring for eachother, and now even have a lovely transmed partner. Things are actually turning up for me. They have been for over a year, and for over a year, it's been helping me improve myself to become the person I truly want to be. I am much less hateful now then I was then (though I still have my outbursts.)
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