Life is a game @taraaa512 - Tumblr Blog

They say the universe has a great sense of humor. That sometimes having your dreams come true can feel like a nightmare. Because getting what you want always come with strings attached.

#gossipgirl #xoxo #dreams #nightmare

Well after a week of impatientce and emotional rollercoaster and negative energy... Today after the first applications started to come back and the dejavu( thats how i know i am on right path or that there this vison of that moment means something) well yes after that i feel so mich better, much calmer and much more positive. So after that i feel that everything will go in the right direction. Because if i dont have this dejavus and dreams( i dreamed about the dentist also..that everything will be ok..and it was) then i feel like i am not living my life. Because everytime of my decisions i had visions and thats why i feel more calmed now. And even with the dreams of mom...i knew whats going to happen...it shocked me..but i knew this is how it supposed to be...so i accepted it...kindnof. well after death you dont even have another choice. I mean sometimes its hard to accept of cpirse bit then i look all the reasons and how its better like that anyway and it is what it is. Well i just had tp write these thpughts down and thats it.

MY DEBUT ALBUM #DL1 IS OUT NOW!!! A massive thank you to everyone buying and streaming it 🌹🌹🌹 THANK YOU MY LOVES 🚀💖 https://wbr.ec/dualipa-album Follow me on...

and uTalkin' in my sleep at night, makin' myself crazy (Out of my mind, out of my mind) Wrote it down and read it out, hopin' it would save me (Too many times, too many times) My love, he makes me feel like nobody else, nobody else But my love, he doesn't love me, so I tell myself, I tell myself One: Don't pick up the phone You know he's only callin' 'cause he's drunk and alone Two: Don't let him in You'll have to kick him out again Three: Don't be his friend You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning And if you're under him, you ain't gettin' over him ...

And its too relatable...? And I do make rules to myself and I break them all the time also...

and i see pattern..and I never learn...

And i feel like i am self sabotaging? Why? So much insecurities

The new album 'Communion' out now. Buy all formats here http://po.st/YYAlbumPreorder Connect with Years & Years: Facebook - http://po.st/yyfb Twitter - http:...

All of my thought always come to life. A..he did text me and things happend. Well nothing serious but. And ts..like i knew that at some point he will call me...and the other day I had this midnight crysis..when i cried for a day and in the night and i didnt knew what to do..and in the moemnt of weaknes..i almost called him..well not almost. i was just thinking about it..even i knew its pointless...and in one part of my mind..i was hoping he calls me..and few days later..he does...and i do call back and we get to see each other..and only< then I see how much i have grown in only these 3 months...and changed..and he didnt ..like nobody here did. Because you cant grow...well you can..but it takes much more energy because veryone and all around here us is pouttiign ypu down..so the enviroment we live in is not giving the perspective to grow...

and i am happy that i had that seat back...back in february and i am glad that i went for these 3 months because i needed that. and i am happy i met ben..and that i have another ben in my life and as much as i was unlucky last year this year it alll changed around and i hope it stays this way and that my mom is protecting me from heaven and just playing thses strings right or my guardian angels..

I AM HAppy with myself and with my life at th emoment and grateful for everything...even if i dont have my mom here to celebrate all good things with me...she is here in my heart and i hope besides me as an angel..reading this and giving me light...

because i was in the dark too long...

Official audio for "Naive" from the album ‘I See You’ Deluxe available now. Subscribe to The xx’s channel to stay up to date with all their latest videos. SO...

Something's wrong, but I choose to be naive Can't tell no one what it means to me Something's wrong, but I choose to be naive And the longer that I leave it, I can feel it taking over me

Well I dont know what is wrong but I feel this weird feeling...he is ignoring me? Is he? Acting so weird..one moment we plan a trip together and the other one he is cold and ignoring me..I dont know what to think..and I really try to be fair here and not mess this up..but all of this? Do i deserve this stress? To stress over someone again like this? And then my destructive thoughts come out again..maybe I should just be a bitch and play all of them.But the other part of me is like..its all going to get back to you...welll I guess it already is..I suffer anyway..so what does it makes sense anymore?

Am I naive? I really am? I dont really know whats happening here? I am in this cloud of not knowing anything. But fuck ..I was sure about it..so sure...cause I have never been so sure about anything and anyone..

And now this thing with pill..which I am not sure about it anymore either...cause i had like a little digestion problems so i dont know if i am pri dont know if i am protected..well fuck everything..i have exam in couple of hours so i will go study...

New song by Disciples. I own nothing nor claim to.

All I do every night is think of you

Are we lost or is this love that I'm feeling? Your burning touch is something that keeps on healing

And we can talk about it, wake me up if I'm dreaming Are we lost or is this love that I'm feeling?

You stay on my mind, on my mind every night You stay on my mind, you're on my mind every night

Only us, nothing else that I'm needing <3 It's you I trust, the only one I believe in

well this song, this lyrics...it all reminds me and it all feels...

I feel like I have been waiting for this all my life, like tjis was really meant to be..and I have never felt like that about anyone or about anything. And I think I am inlove and I think I am scared cause maybe it was meant to be..and its not anymore...and now I am back home and I cant stand to see all these familiar faces and to know everything about them cause I feeel I am back to all the negativity I have been before.

And I feel like with him like literally my dreams came true, but not the ones I dream ah the day, but really the dreams I dream at night. All this feelings so unreal, but I felt them..and how is my life going to be in the future...well I really wish he would feel the same towards me and he would express his feels and we would live hapyily ever after and as I believe you can get anything in life I believe this should also come true...I will just keeep the feels in mind...omg the euphoria...and if we are really the same..he should feel the same as me..hope for that <3 I just remind myself now at the first bov I was inlove with in primary school since the first year and for about 5 years..omg sooo inloveee...and now i am feeling just like that..if this isit and that i am inlove, cause i am...i know i am..there is no doubt about it...

After midnight thoughts

Well here I am..crying..over that fact that I am never the person they choose,no matter the facts. With T. I was like ok he knew things about me that were not lovable but and things happened and we were attached but in the end of all.stpry now he still didnt choose me...and M.last year ge literally chose another girl over me...ok lets remember the break up he said he doesnt desrves me...so ok. That was good enough and well deep down I knew he is not for me anyway , not ever in million years. Even though he is a good person. Well and here we are again, attached? Inlove? Idealists? Well what are we? He said he has needs, that I am not his girlfriend,well ok. I get the picture. Again I am not the chosen one. Again I was just a station , and I was used, I wanted to be, but its just how I feel in the end now and I dont know if its the new moon talking or the hormones..which i also dont know whats going on with them, but I feel shit and I feel horrible. I am happy I had this illusion it was perfect. And in the end I think i desrve more I deserve love and respect and fuck that fuck. I just need to realize I need to focus on myself and do my things and thats it. Cause I just end up crying anyway.

The new single Worship, out now Download on iTunes http://po.st/WorshipiTYT Listen on Spotify http://po.st/WorshipSPYT Listen on Apple Music http://po.st/Wor...

I worship, high praises My longing drives me crazy for you My kingdom for your graces I'm not gonna tell nobody I'm not gonna tell nobody bout you

#erasmus #erasmusexchange #erasmuslove #love #inlove #years&years #worship

rhianonns-deactivated20220809

i cost a girl her life because i was afraid to love her.

arthetic

There ain't language for the things I've seen. And the truth is stranger than my own worst dreams. The truth is stranger than all my dreams. Oh, the darkness got a hold on me. I have seen what the darkness does. Say goodbye to who I was. I ain't never been away so long. Don't look back them days are gone. Follow me into the endless night. I can bring your fears to life. Show me yours and I'll show you mine. Meet me in the woods tonight.

#13 reasons why #darkness #lordhuron #meet me in the woods

Order Strange Trails featuring "The Night We Met" now: http://smarturl.it/iLHStrangeTrails http://www.lordhuron.com http://www.facebook.com/lordhuron http://...

Well discovered the song before The 13 reasons why. Loved it the first instant I heard it and loved in the series and I am loving it at the moment and just every moment. Even though I dont feel like the singer feels...I dont want to go back to the night we met? Or do I? Well we would probably do things differently if we know the outcome of sitiuations before...but we dont...so thats life. and everyone has their own lessons and has to make their own.

Welll since I have been here I havent written here yet. So let me just catch up on things...

Before I left..the end of the most fucked up reltionship in my life..new begining with A. and another resume with T. and then the feeeling I had before I came...I was just thinking to myself I havent felt that good in my skin ever before..so confident..so happy..despite of everything that happened in the year before. and that was also probably the magic of new year and the magic of new beginnings new years have. and I was so full of hope. Well I still am..much more than I was ever in my life.

And yes he left me again when I was already here..but lets be real...he was never really mine and he didnt deserve my time or me...the beauty of my soul..to know it.

And here I was in a couple of days in my lonelines...as always I find victims. And really didnt expect too much. Nothing at all. just to fill the emptiness and meet people and have fun. As much people as I meet not everyone inspires me. But omg him. Fun, interesting and hot. And the s....as I always thing I cant feel anymore after T.s. you cant believe you can feel things you never felt before..only in wildest dreams..life its my first time I feel. seriuosly...scary. And so in this moment we are infinite. And forever just last a second sometime. And I will enjoy this second and I know it will hurt me to leave. Because there is attachment. But lets be real..all of the suffering comes from the feeling of attachment. So what I have to overcome is to attach!

But even though I was attached really bad to things back home, and in comfort zone I have to say I got really comfortable here, but again found another kind of attachment..but what if thats life? What if we always, whenever we go..look for something to attach our souls to?Thats our curse I guess...

The worst and the best feeling

Well i think I have never written about that. But first, the worst feeling in life for me... As you know i lost my mother, I was inlove and I lost my boy which i thought is love of my life and we have something special( now i guess that was just an attachment). Well...the moment when you wake up in the morning and realize the cruel and brutal reality you just woke up to..especially if you had some lovely dreams. And my dreams are usually so extravagant and so real I live for sleeping and dreaming..even though I also have nightmares sometimes..And yes that feeling of emptiness of hoplessness..its a feeling you cant describe, but yet I am just trying to...and this anxiety. Its just unbearable...this pain of reality sometimes. But I am here now waking up to new day, and every day is new chance for me, to be better, to make her proud and to make me proud and improve myself and thats the point I guess. And yes the best feeling at this very moment in my life is..I passed all exams, so I dont have any deths when I will come, because for example my very as they seem geeky friends didnt passed them and I did like the first time..so that gives me some kind of confidence that maybe I am not doing soo bad...and after all that has happend I am moving just forward. Well with the exeption of T .S. but also in this field I am, I guess? I was on a date last night with a guy from college...went to the cinema, had a lovely night and kissed...so yea that actually gives me a feeling of excitement, and adventure. But the biggest adventure of this year I guess will be me going to Wales..and just like 4 more dayss 🙊🙊🙊

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Life is a game