idk how my mom didn't know im gay
When I was in 6th grade (13 ish), I really got into kdramas. Like I already have an addictive personality and there was so much to watch at the time. My first one was Secret Garden, still recommend. BUT also at that time (like 2011) all the kdramas were v straight and v male abusive behavior as a sign of 'I like you.' The whole trope was big back then but also it's timeless amongst the str8s. "I'm going to pull your pigtails, because I have a crush on you," bs is all toxic masculinity and that was clearly present in kdrama and korean culture. I saw it at home w my parents so I really thought everybody was like that.
FLASHFOWARD, to Coffee Prince. My mother finally allowed me to watch it bc it ends kind with after bingity bangity scene (it was rare to see at the time and it still kind of is). And I fell in LOVE with gender hiding tropes. Girl pretends to be a guy and it's like v gay wo saying that it's gay but I think I really liked it bc of the gender equality that's clearly displayed when it's two boys/men. They don't pull each other's pigtails (balls?) and there's always some gay realization scene where the guy looks up 'Am I gay??' on Naver or he sits by a lake and ponder of the person he really likes that happens to be a guy. They tend to be overly sweet in a bro way until it's not and there's some kind of calmness that happens instead of reactive violence.
My mother knew that I enjoyed this trope and she sent every recommendation or new drama with this concept. I ate it all up. I talked about it, avidly. Worst part is that w my anthro degree, I feel like I know exactly what happened and why me and my mom were walking two v parallel lines on this line of kdrama. She wasn't a fan btw.
When I came out she was all surprised and hated it. Still hates it when I mention my ex gf or the fact that I might marry a woman. I sometimes hate being korean and that their politics and mindset on this is clearly recorded in kdramas like some archive.
I also thought for the majority of my life that Korean people just weren't allowed to be gay. I thought it was a white ppl thing and that it just wasn't in the korean genes so I drooled at men only to realize that I only do that bc theyre fake and they can never touch me or harm me.
I choose the bear, folks.
But if two men decide to make out, maybe I'll stay and watch.
tl;dr my mom recced me gay ass kdramas and had the audacity to be surprised when I came out.
