It was delightful to hear Spanish in 10 Dance, but I always find it interesting how Netflix tones down the familiar and playful aggression of Spanish like by translating "maricón" to "bro" or some other non-offensive term (it's closer to "fag"), so the Spanish conversation in the bar in 10 Dance was interesting not just because I want the bartender . . .
But because the bartender is saying that Suzuki is "enganchado" as in hooked or addicted to Sugiki. The emphasis is on the nature of Suzuki's feelings, so it's not a soft love, but an obsessive one in which he keeps going back to Sugiki for more . . . like a drug.
Which makes sense because Suzuki just describe his relationship with Sugiki like this:
But Suzuki seems to take humorous offense to the bartender's comment implying he is addicted to Sugiki.
So the bartender tries a different approach saying that people "lust" ("lujuria"), sexually. In a sense, the bartender is shifting his question to make Suzuki's attraction to Suguki carnal instead of something deeper.
Which causes Suzuki to pause again before he laughs it off.
But it's clear that the bartender is actually trying to approach this in a "no big deal if you like a dude" way because he says "contigo" as if he is saying "I'm being serious with you."
And follows it up with this which is close to the word-for-word translation ("el mismo sexo también se puede sentir? -> "the same sex also can be felt (by one)"), so he is reinforcing that a man can have the same addictive or carnal feelings for a man that he could have a woman. No biggie.
But Suzuki brushes it off and calls the bartender a "cabrón" -> bastard (affectionately) rather than just merely saying "come on!"
However, the ending line of the conversation is where I get a bit confused with the translation because the bartender isn't saying to back off. In fact, the bartender is saying the opposite. The bartender says, "Bueno, si no te importa hacer un tarrudo, entonces vete" -> "Well, if you don't mind making a mess, then leave!" but "vete" implies force and finality, like a command. It's kind of like telling him "to shit or get off the pot but you have got to quit bullshitting about it because nobody is holding you back from fucking a man, coward." Like, "vete" is heavy.
Then, the music in the background reinforces what the bartender just told him.
So when he leaves the bar and immediately sees Sugiki dancing, he approaches.
And I think that Spanish conversation is the reason he gets upset at Sugiki. He has just been told to make a mess with a man if he wants and he has been sitting in that this entire time only for Sugiki to leave the conversation and their interaction with simply asking him not to mention his previous bad treatment toward Fusako to her. That's the secret he wants Suzuki to keep.
Like "what a fucking waste of a bisexual awakening, man."
¡VETE!
"Bueno, si no te importa hacer un tarrudo, entonces vete"
pairing: oscar piastri x gn!reader (one mention of reader wearing heels but you can just skip it)
summary: oscar's favorite ways to show you he loves you.
warnings: i had a vision, i started yapping, i couldn't stop (sorry not sorry!)
a/n: pls let mclaren get their strategies right in hungary 🙏🙏
masterlist !
⋆ ˚ ｡ ⋆ ୨୧ ˚
three years ago when you started dating oscar, you noticed he had quiet but meaningful ways of showing you he cares and loves you.
lately you've noticed he has his favorites.
¹
you had dragged oscar with you to the mall, since your best friend came down with the flu over the weekend. he agreed, happy he was able to spend more time with you over the summer break.
after you exited the first store, he insisted on carrying your two bags, full of new clothes and accessories.
"are you sure?"
"positive," he sends you a warm smile, after taking the bags out of your hands.
"i could carry at least one you know," you try to reason.
he responds by sliding his hand into your own, "doesn't mean you have to."
now every time he joins you for a shopping trip, big or small, he always carries your bags. doesn't matter if it's one, or up to seven. he always tells you his hands or arms don't hurt from the weight, considering the training he does. you simply react by kissing his cheek whenever he takes a bag. a win-win, if you ask oscar.
²
every race weekend your able to attend, oscar and you are attached at the hip.
if he's walking into the paddock for media day? you're walking with him, hand in hand. (once he carried you on his back because of rain. he was worried your heels would get ruined!)
he just wants company while walking to go tell zak or andrea something? he wants you to be there with him.
he's eating lunch with lando and their managers? he's positive you'll be there in less than five minutes, once you notice he's not in his driver's room.
you wait at the egde of the stage during fan zones. the biggest smile adorning your face as you watch oscar and lando answer ridiculous questions from fans. your heart warms whenever someone asks about you two. with a picture displayed on the screen behind the boys, usually from your recent instagram posts, featuring oscar.
nine out of ten times during races you're found in the mclaren garage. the other one time you're most likely in oscar's driver's room. the team even got you your own pair of papaya headphones.
² ½
whenever oscar is in the garage, he's always near you.
secretly, the admin of the mclaren account loves it. he always seems to snap pictures and take videos of you two together. recently, he's gotten three moments on film that the fans absolutely adore.
once was during one of the practices. oscar and lando were both told to wait for the rain to stop, so they could get clean laps in. meaning everyone was just waiting in the warmth of the garage.
oscar was sitting down in a chair, with a few mechanics beside him, as they listened to lando yap about whatever his brain could think of in the moment.
you walk over to oscar, giving him his water bottle as you stand beside him. he silently thanks you by leaning his head against your stomach. you can't help but smile and run your fingers through his hair, as you're now stuck listening to lando's nonsense.
another instance the admin was happy to be in the right place at the right time, was right after a race.
oscar had started in fifteenth position after having a bad qualifying due to extreme winds. he managed to turn the double digit place start into a podium, as he parked in front of the third place sign.
as soon as oscar got out of his car, you were pretty sure you were screaming the loudest for the australian. after getting weighed, he ran right towards you. the team around you two couldn't help but swoon as you wrapped your arms tightly around oscar's neck. you saw oscar's squished cheeks and crinkled eyes through his open visor, and took the opportunity to kiss his nose through the small space. (that picture is pinned on the opeightyone account, due to oscar's request.)
³
oscar loves waking up next to you. his arms are always wrapped around you, whether your facing him or not. he wants nothing more than the feel your warmth, and the comfort of his bed, as he starts his day.
as soon as he wakes up he pulls your body into him, instantly making you the little spoon. it doesn't always wake you up, and even if it does you never mind.
"osc," you groggily giggle as his hands roam over your stomach under his borrowed shirt.
in response the boy shoves his face into your neck. he makes sure to remind you how warm that body part is, and if he could get buried there he would. you always laugh, never believing him. even if this is your routine almost every morning.
"can we just lay in bed all day?" oscar asks, his voice slightly mumbled from his mouth pressing against your skin.
"i thought you and lando has plans today," you remind him, only to hear him groan.
"i can just cancel. tell him i'm sick or something."
you turn around in oscar's arms, sleep still very evident in his eyes. but he still looks at you as if you're his whole world.
"he's one of your best mates. you can't just cancel last minute."
he starts to make up another excuse, but you're quick to beat him to it by bringing your lips to his.
he simply places his head back in the crook of your shoulder and neck. you shiver as his nose brushes lightly over your skin.
"ten more minutes," he states.
you silently agree by running your fingers through his hair. a habit you've picked up over the past few weeks. a habit oscar can definitely get used to.
⁴
the most meaningful way oscar has shown you he loves you happened last week. the gesture hasn't left your mind, and you can't help but get all giddy inside just thinking about it.
every time your parents come into town, they always take you and oscar out for a nice dinner. they both absolutely adore oscar. they always have, since you introduced him to them on your second day of ninth grade grade. they only loved the boy more once you two started dating. they saw how much you two loved each other, and it reminded them of how they acted when they were younger.
tonight was no different as oscar opened your door for you, walking in behind your parents to enter the restaurant your father picked on the way here.
you and oscar sat on one side of the table, with your parents sitting on the other. your mother noticed the loving eyes oscar would send your way when you told a story, or when you were just listening to something silly your father was explaining.
the night went on nicely, and you were about to finish and pay for your meals. you suddenly dropped your fork when something loud crashed from behind you. servers began picking up the trays and smashed plates and bowls, while you leaned over to pick up your fork from the floor.
oscar was quick to reach his hand towards the corner of the table, covering the sharp edge. he continued on with the conversation with your parents as you began to sit back up right.
your heart warmed immensely at the action oscar seemed to do so naturally. you placed your hand over his, rubbing your thumb across his knuckles, silently thanking him before he moved his hand into his lap. yours of course staying intertwined with his.
Scenario: in which lando norris’ history with his new teammate leads people to believe they don’t like one another, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. (requested)
Pairing: lando norris x male!reader
A/N: we need more rep for male readers 🙌🏻 had so much fun making this one and as per usual, shout-out to @renarots for fueling this
⌕ www.formulatimes/ynlnmovestomclaren
Anyone who’s an up-to-date F1 fan knows all about this rivalry, but just in case you don’t, here’s a quick rundown.
It all started in their karting days. Every race they would go wheel to wheel, and often finish right behind the other. They pushed each other, both metaphorically and physically. In one race, a desperate attempt to overtake YN saw Lando Norris taking himself out of the race.
A few years later, the two would be promoted to Formula One, in which Lando signed to Mclaren, and Yn signed to Alpine - a mistake, if you ask me…or any other fan of his. That being said, it wasn’t Yn’s first choice. Mclaren was openly considering Lando Norris AND Yn Ln, but ultimately chose to sign Norris, with Daniel Ricciardo occupying the second seat. This only fed into their rivalry.
During their rookie year, they fought at the back of the pack as they learned the reigns of F1, but as Norris improved throughout the seasons, Yn was left behind. There’s a lot to unpack in regards to that, but in the simplest of terms, his team has constantly prioritized Pierre Gasly, their second driver, despite him being the inferior talent between the two. We’ve seen this happen with other teams, and that never ends well.
All of that leads to this shocking revelation: Yn Ln is joining the Mclaren Formula One Team. While we can’t say for sure how this will play out, we can speculate. Will they move past their differences and become the ultimate team? Or, will they become the next brocedes?
Published: December 12, 2022
yn_ln
liked by landonorris, pierregasly, maxfewtrell, logansargeant, and 234,761 others
yn_ln new year, new start. thanks @/mclaren and @/landonorris 🧡
view all 3,456 comments
maxfewtrell so happy for you man. you deserve it.
landonorris happy to be teammates with you (finally)
⤷ yn_ln 🫶🏻
⤷ landoland FINALLY?
⤷ rizzciardo lando fans finding out that he and yn are actually really good friends: 😱🤯 they’re one step away from being boyfriends
mclaren great job in bahrain, yn! 🧡👊🏻
ynsworld THATS MY BOY ‼️ so proud of you yn, this is gonna be such a good year for you.
norrisnation i may be a certified lando lover, but i would die and kill for yn.
⤷ landonorris same
papayabull LETS GO I WAS PRAYING FOR THIS DAY (i was manifesting yn to redbull but this works too)
lando.jpg
liked by yn_ln, maxfewtrell, charles_leclerc, riabish, and 245,652 others
lando.jpg when in australia…
view all 3,456 comments
yn_ln rate my photography skills on a scale of 1-10
⤷ lando.jpg 10
⤷ yn_ln wrong. its 12.
⤷ lando.jpg right, my fault. suppose you should open a jpg account of your own in that case
maxfewtrell where was my invite?
⤷ lando.jpg so you could complain about third wheeling?
⤷ landomania AYO? what do you mean by that?
⤷ amgmclaren don’t read into it too much, that’s how it is with lando and all of his teammates
teamyn these are my babies and they’re thriving. i love them <;3
racing.news
liked by mclaren, f1, and 12,345 others
racing.news lando norris has addressed the rumors regarding his relationship with his teammate. norris, 24, said “at the end of the day, i like who i like. i don’t want to put a label on it. it being my sexuality and my relationship with my teammate - those are private matters and have nothing to do with formula one.”
what are your thoughts?
view all 3,432 comments
norrisnation i just hate that they’re wrapped up in this. even if they are dating, i wish they could just be left alone.
rizzciardo we do not give a fuck about them dating. let people love people without questioning their shit 24/7
landomania FORGET WHAT LANDO SAID LOOK AT HOW HE’S LOOKING AT YN IN THE FIRST PICTURE
maxfewtrell my thoughts are that people should mind their business, politely
⤷ norrisnation SPEAK YOUR TRUTH KING 🙌🏻 we love to see you supporting and defending them
⤷ maxfewtrellstappen I LOVE YOU 😭
mclaren
liked by yn_ln, landonorris, charles_leclerc, maxfewtrell, and 345,628 others
mclaren PAPAYA PODIUM 🤩🧡 an absolutley outstanding performance from our drivers today.
view all 6,543 comments
yn_ln super fun day. thank you guys 🧡
ynsworld anyone else noticing that yn seems less happy lately?
⤷ norrisyn YES BRO 😭 it hurts bc he was so happy at the beginning of the season after alpine fucked him over
⤷ ynlandolover honestly i think it’s bc of the rumors. imagine being there to race and all anyone can do is ask about your sexuality and relationship AND most of the questions are clearly judgemental
⤷ papayabull yeah, i feel for yn :( i hope the rumors and shit chill down bc he doesn’t deserve it
rizzciardo they’re so in love it makes me sick
⤷ norrisnation literally 😭 even if they’re just friends, they have so much love for each other and it’s obvious
verstappensboy was 100% certain they were gonna kiss
⤷ formulanorris ain’t even gonna lie, i feel like they considered it for a second. maybe i’m teaching but between their posts, rumors, landos statement, etc, i feel like they are dating
⤷ formulayn honestly same, but i’d avoid speculation online just in case they see it. they both want to keep the details private and we should respect it yk?
landonorris
liked by yn_ln, maxfewtrell, mclaren, riabish, alex_albon, and 345,621 others
landonorris i like who i like, and i stand by that. i won’t put a label on my sexuality, but i do want to be clear that yn is my boyfriend, and i couldn’t ask for a better human being to take that position in my life. i love you forever, @/yn_ln
view all 3,464 comments
maxfewtrell love you guys. so sorry the media didn’t let you do this on your own terms.
*liked by yn_ln and landonorris*
yn_ln i love you so fucking much
⤷ landonorris i love you more
norrisnation we love you so much, lando. 😭 i’m so happy for you both omg
mclaren 🧡
rizzciardo COUPLE OF THE FUCKING CENTURY
formulanorris lando be honest was this a photo shoot you did? and if so, are there more pictures?
⤷ landonorris ….maybe
⤷ ynland HAND THEM OVER PLEASE I BEG
yn_ln
my type - saint motel
liked by landonorris, alex_albon, georgerussel63, and 212,345 others
yn_ln what really happened in monaco 🤭
view all 3,456 comments
landonorris you’re just my type ;)
norrisnation GOD BLESS YOU FOR THESE PICTURES YN
formulayn this is so hot of yn and lando im ngl
⤷ rizzciardo retweet
ynsworld POWER COUPLE.
all feedback is appreciated! thank you for reading 🫶🏻
general taglist | @renarots @jsjcue @illicitverstappen @lovstappen @minkyungseokie @treehouse-mouse
SUMMARY . . . history just simply always manages to repeat itself, the artist and their tired university student roommate who just can't help but admire them in ways friends don't look at each other..
PAIRING . . . dong sicheng x male!reader
GENRE . . . insanely fluffy
WARNINGS . . . none!
WORD COUNT . . . 1.8k
NOTES . . . why is winwin so majestic tf 🙁 my wayv bias is yangyang i have NO IDEA what you're talking about, im so mortifyingly in love with winwin but not in a "i want to kiss him" way in a "i wanna bake him cookies and run my fingers through his hair" way and that's basically the same thing
sicheng has become long used to coming home and seeing y/n in the middle of another artistic project. it's usually a painting, because that's the easiest thing to do in their small apartment, one the two of them fought tooth and nail to be able to afford. on some days he'll be creating costumes out of construction paper, or he'll be sewing, or he'll just be sketching on the couch.
it's become somewhat of a staple of comfort to him, maybe it's because of how recognizable it is to come home and see y/n, eyebrows furrowed, head tilted, the slightest smudge of paint on his face as his eyes are completely focused on the canvas before him. there's always a small smile that comes to his face whenever he hears the door open, sicheng only catches it on the most certain of days, though.
and maybe it's weird that sicheng remembers every single detail of what happens after he comes home from exhausting classes where all his professor does is talk about is nonsense, this is kind of like the only silver lining to his day after hours of just nothing but life draining lectures.
and no it's definitely not because y/n is just the best serotonin every single feeling sicheng has for him is completely platonic and platonic only!
it's as he's untying his shoes, that he realizes today something is different. y/n is humming, to a song the two of them hear their neighbors blast through the walls every now and then, he assumes the tune got stuck in his head, and he just can't help but now him it to himself.
sicheng puts his shoes away, he glances up for a moment, and pauses, waiting. he then smiles to himself as he watches y/n smile himself, finally acknowledging his presence. "i didn't even hear you, the door closed so quietly".
y/n's comment makes him snicker, but his eyes still don't leave the canvas, so focused on what he's painting in fact that he doesn't register the paint on his cheek. sicheng, like he does on most days, walks up towards y/n and quickly wipes off the paint with his thumb.
y/n makes a small noise, but he ultimately doesn't shy away from sicheng's hand, almost leaning into the touch if sicheng thinks about it. "how do you never notice when you have paint on your face?" sicheng asks, going over to the sink to wash the paint off his thumb.
"an artist never strays away from their artistic craft" y/n comments mindlessly, and sicheng's eyebrows furrow just for a mere moment before he looks back to his roommate, still focused on the random color he's spreading across the canvas.
"did you just make that up, or..?" at the question, y/n finally turns around after what seemed like hours of standing in the same spot, and he snickers at the way sicheng asks it.
"yep, made it up just now".
the response makes sicheng snort, because he knows that's absolutely true considering the kind of person y/n is. "you.. your something alright" sicheng doesn't know why those words are the ones that come out of his mouth, but they make y/n laugh.
"ah thanks, you make me feel so smart, chengie" y/n looks back to the painting, stepping back just a little bit to admire it. he removes his gloves and tosses them away, yawning lightly. "does it look nice?"
sicheng blinks, glancing over at y/n, who is patiently waiting for his answer. he mindlessly stares at the painting of a snowy mountaintop as he tries to think of a compliment he hasn't said thousands of times already. "it's marvelous" y/n gives him a look of confusion, and sicheng just snickers as he does those jazz hands.
"you couldn't at least be a little bit more creative with your compliment?" y/n's face scrunches a little bet, and sicheng just shrugs, rubbing his eyes.
"i'm tired i don't have time for creativity" sicheng yawns, and y/n gives him another judgmental look. "ask me when i'm more awake" he shouts as he walks towards his room, leaving y/n to admire his painting all alone.
y/n snickers, shaking his head.
what a character you are, dong sicheng..
"do you assume van gogh was a weird guy?"
sicheng barely registers the question, because the only sound he's heard for the past twenty minutes is the horribly loud clicking of y/n's pen as he brainstorms ideas for upcoming projects, assignments, and all that other stuff. he narrows his eyes at his laptop screen before looking up at y/n, who was finally done clicking his pen and began sketching.
"what?" is his immediate response, probably because he didn't have enough time to properly assess or process that question. the other thing that being y/n's roommate comes with is having to hear the most random and weird questions. "i'm sorry?"
"i know who van gogh is y/n" sicheng clarifies, sighing. "i just— what do you think i know about the personality of a famous artist who died over a hundred years ago?" he raises an eyebrow, momentarily glancing back down at his computer screen as he hears y/n's loud sigh.
"i'm researching about him for this project i'm doing".
"you did a project about van gogh already.." sicheng mutters in confusion, and he hears y/n's pen click once again, then the slam of his sketchbook. "didn't you?"
"oh this isn't for school!" y/n exclaims. "i'm just doing it for fun!"
"what kind of psycho does a project for fun?" at the words, y/n snorts, and sicheng can't help but gaze at him. yeah, it's stupid, but he's just so cute, and sicheng has no idea why he's staring this long at him.
fuck, i probably look crazy. i'm literally zoning out on his face, what kind of moron does that?
at least he's self aware.
"nothing?"
"what?"
"on van gogh?" y/n clarifies, and sicheng blinks like an idiot, because what else would y/n be talking about? he shakes his head, and y/n pouts in an unserious manner.
"at least your here to humor me" y/n says, picking his sketchbook back up as he begins flipping through it, he pauses at a certain page and smiles brightly at what's sketched on it.
sicheng doesn't really know what y/n draws in his sketchbook. y/n is pretty big on privacy, so sicheng never made it his thing to figure out what's in y/n's sketchbook because he doesn't want him to.
though, the way y/n's smiling at his sketchbook gets him curious.
"are the sketches causing you that much joy?"
y/n snaps up, his face going embarrassingly red as he closes his sketchbook once again. he smiles, then awkwardly laughs as he looks away, lightly scratching his arm. "yeah, um.. i just really like the sketches i made".
sicheng laughs, glancing back at his computer screen. it's so hard not to constantly stare at you when your.. well— you.
but they're just friends, nothing more.
"when i was younger i always wanted a garden of strawberries" y/n states as he paints said garden of strawberries on the canvas in front of him.
y/n is always the most busy on weekends with his artistic projects. he'll legitimately spend half of his day painting, another half making a halloween costume even though halloween won't come for the next seven months, and the other half sewing a sweater he's going to wear once every few months. sicheng has seen it all, and he's gotten used to the normalization of y/n just doing another artistic craft everyday, still being able to rest a whole eight hours.
he admires his way of just being such.. what is the phrase, a hard worker, he could say. y/n was just always up, doing something, he was never bored or not doing something, he was very much just an always working person.
"strawberries? out of everything?" sicheng asks, stirring the spoon in his cup of coffee mindlessly, he's too busy staring at y/n to pay attention to his now cooling cup of coffee. y/n gives him one of the most judgmental looks ever.
"what do you mean? out of everything? strawberries are amazing!" y/n counters, and sicheng laughs at his tone of voice. "they're one of the best things mankind has ever actually made".
"okay but why a garden of them?"
"so i can make strawberry flavored things everyday, duh" y/n dismisses the amount of red coloring on his apron, and his gloves, too busy trying to figure out how to finish his painting of his dream garden of strawberries.
y/n narrows his eyes at the painting, studying it for a moment, like he was trying to figure out if the painting was talking to him or not. "is this ugly?"
"what?"
"the painting? is it ugly?"
sicheng furrows his eyebrows, staring at y/n like he just asked the stupidest question in the world. y/n usually doesn't care about his opinion when it comes to paintings, because sicheng isn't an artist like he is, so sicheng has no idea why he would suddenly ask him about what he thought about his painting so suddenly.
"no? your paintings are never ugly.. why would you ask that?"
sicheng's question-answer makes y/n narrow his eyes at him. sicheng assumes he wasn't expecting that answer that then turned into a question, with the way he goes silent, and with the way his face flushes so much more obviously than it usually does.
sicheng doesn't get why he notices that the most, y/n is pretty unpredictable, he gets flustered at some of the most random times, and it's only at certain moments that sicheng notices how red his face is.
it's hot in the room, that's it, that's why, there is absolutely no other reason his face is so red right now.
he's just thinking of excuses.
"thank you" he whispers, turning back to his painting as he removes his paint splattered gloves. "it's a new day, i just wanted your opinion".
"that's strange".
"well if i'm not strange then i'm not interesting" y/n hums as he puts the finishing touches on his painting, and with his back turned, sicheng can admire him fully, without worrying about him getting caught and then having to explain why he was staring for so long.
sicheng is so busy admiring him, he doesn't even notice that he hasn't taken a sip of his coffee yet.
notes: i wanted to make people sad today guys 😆 okay i didnt mean to make this my yangyang fic debut on my account and im sorry but you guys.. it's just needed okay! i need to make a whole wayv angst thing wait………(hendery is next 😈)
"what do you wanna be when you grow up?"
you whisper against yangyang's ears, eyes closed as you lean your head onto his shoulder. your arms were wrapped around his chest, leaning on his shoulders as he carried you on his back, his hands rested on your thighs. yangyang's eyes trailed over the path before him, observing the familiar rock pattern littering the ground, one he recognizes.
yangyang had nothing in mind, too focused on the weight on his back, seemingly unbothered even with how long the two of you have been walking.
"i don't know yet.." he mutters, his voice low as he continued walking, showing no signs of tiredness in his voice or actions. he continued to walk forward, venturing through the forest down a familiar path, one he'd walk down so many times when he was younger.
you hold onto yangyang tightly, scared he might be mad at having to carry you. that probably isn't the case, especially because he's never had any trouble carrying you before, but that doesn't stop the thoughts from invading your mind.
"does y/n still dream of becoming an astronaut?" yangyang asks, his shoes stepping on rocks and dust, creating sounds that echoed in the forest. his question is meant to be a distraction for you, it's meant to make you forget the pain you are currently in. the more he thought about it, the more he remembered details of your life that he thought he'd long since forgotten.
it was when you two were in elementary school, you told him that you wanted to be an astronaut when you grew up.
i want to see the stars up close! he remembers you exclaiming, so passionately, eyes shining so bright, it was like they were stars themselves.
years have passed, and that dream was nothing more than the fantasies created by a child. you created it as an escape, the stars in the sky were the only things that truly gave you hope in times where you were suffering at home.
whenever you couldn't take it, you'd find yourself at a familiar place, your safe place, as you liked to call it, a place that only the two of you knew about. a small secluded treehouse in the forest behind his parents house, where you could escape from the chaos of your home life, where you could peacefully sit and stare the stars.
you'd always make wishes on the stars, hoping that one day, your life would become just a little more bearable, that mom wouldn't be mad at you all the time, that your dreams would become a reality in somehow or another.
you had now been reduced to nothing but a fragile human being, one who couldn't be put back together no matter how much yangyang tried.
"i don't want to anymore.." you mutter, blinking your tears away as you stare at yangyang's face. you give a sad smile, and continue. "i just want to be with you forever" you whisper, hiding your face in his neck.
yangyang smiles bitterly at the statement, the chances of that happening was slim to none. it was an innocent statement, yes, but with the way you two had turned out, the idea of you two staying seemed more harmful to you than anything.
yangyang loves you, really, he does— but he can't help you.
his emotions always confuse him when he's with you, he can't control the overwhelming sadness, anger, or happiness he feels when around you.
but what can he even do? it's not like you did all of this to yourself, you were never given a happy life because your mother is a bitter women, hated seeing you turn into everything she couldn't— to the point that she'd destroy anything that made you happy.
he could never do anything to help you, all he could do was watch, observe. he would see all the new bruises on your body and be absolutely useless in the situation.
he would always offer to carry you when you were especially hurt, which pretty much became the thing for you too. there would be moments where you'd be too slow, so hurt that walking would hurt you, and yangyang wouldn't even ask, he'd just let you jump on his back and he'd carry you to your safe place.
sometimes, yangyang feels guilty, because no matter what, he can't save you.
sometimes; not always.
helping you has always been yangyang's thing, from the moment the two of you met at five, the idea of being able to help you, save you from the nightmare which was your moms house, was what constantly reassured him.
he promised you that someday, he'd get you out of there, that the two of you could run away together forever, and you wouldn't have to worry about your parents, or school, or hurting.
you were so beautiful, so innocent, you had a smile so bright it seemed that you could heal all disasters with it. yangyang never knew why the urge to protect you seemed to come naturally, but it just did, you didn't deserve to be in that kind of environment, he couldn't believe the kinds of things your mom put you through.
you were vulnerable, so easy to break.
and so is he— but yangyang would never admit it, because the idea of anybody seeing that side of him made him want to vomit, no one, and he means no one is allowed to know that, because it's stupid, it's idiotic, it's—
he can't explain it, he feels like he's wasting his time trying to come up with excuses in his mind.
he doesn't even know if he can muster up enough mind to actually look at you.
your a crybaby, weak, pathetic, stupid—
oh poor poor y/n, poor sad y/n, poor y/n who can't stand up for himself, poor y/n who still believes the stars will save him, poor little y/n whose been reduced to nothing but a fragile mess!
though the words always work their way into yangyang's mind, he could never leave you behind.
yangyang finally stops, having made it to the destination you begged him to take you too.
he originally wanted to refuse— because after all this time you couldn't just keep running away from your problems, choosing to go to some treehouse in the middle of a forest and wishing on the stars instead of confronting your issues head on, like you should be.
but no matter how hard he tried, yangyang didn't refuse, just bit his tongue and agreed. making you unhappy was the last thing he wanted to do, you were hurt, in pain, unwell, and if this was the one thing he could do for you, then so be it.
yangyang curses himself for easily being influenced by you..
"yangyang.. i love you" you whisper, voice shaky as you spoke. yangyang hums, hiking you higher up his back as he climbs the stairs to your safe place.
"i love you too, y/n.." he says back, his expression remaining empty as he gives a mere glance at your face, at your watery eyes.
yangyang slowly takes you off his back, placing you down onto the couch right beside the entrance. he performs the action gently, as if afraid of breaking you if he dropped you down too recklessly.
your obsessed, says yangyang's friends, you've become too attached to him, always clinging onto him no matter what. you shouldn't be putting all your issues onto his shoulders, being dependent on him to always help you when your in need, he deserves better, they all say, better than you.
yangyang knows you too well to even be annoyed by how you act anymore. your presence has become comforting to him, it's not exactly easy to explain, because he'd probably come off as creepy if he even tried to voice his thoughts about you, he's just so used to you being there beside him—
like there's something wrong when you aren't there with him.
people say that the love you harbor for yangyang isn't normal, your more infatuated than in love, people say that yangyang should run while he has the chance..
but yangyang knows more than they do, you could never truly hurt him even if you wanted to, you can't even hurt a fly, let alone hurt him. he's pretty much the only person keeping you up, you'd be gone if he wasn't around, you need him.
he's the only person you can count on, your mother is shitty and your father is gone.
"are we going to look at the stars?" your voice snaps yangyang out his distracting thoughts process, and you immediately circle your arms around his waist when he places himself beside you.
yangyang lets you squeeze him, your cold fingers rub against the skin of his waist, but he doesn't even shiver at the touch anymore, instead settling into the solace of it, a feeling he recognizes from you.
he doesn't respond immediately, instead pointing up at the opening in the ceiling, where they could clearly see the stars through the glass. yangyang had installed it into the treehouse himself so you could stare at the stars without having to go outside.
"orion" he states, his other arm coming to rest around your waist. "and ursa major".
"i guess were not seeing cassiopeia tonight.." you mutter, not exactly to yangyang, but more to yourself. your voice conveys disappointment, but you quickly shake off whatever thoughts you were having.
"you can still make a wish, though".
yangyang knows you, he knows you so well, it was often that you'd make a wish when you saw the constellation cassiopeia, thinking of it as a good luck charm because of it's connection to your birthday.
you lower your head, eyes pointed to the floor. "they never come true anyway.."
yangyang slowly retracts his hand and moves it to intertwine your fingers, he doesn't say any more, and neither do you, a comfortable silence settles between you two.
"aren't you afraid y/n?"
the question is a surprising one, but you don't say much about it, just let out an airy laugh, giving a little squeeze at his hand. "i'll be alright because your here".
a small smile comes to your face, but it's sad, your unwell, your sick, your sad, and yangyang can't help you, no matter how much he tries.
"what do you know about love?" "it can bruise, like a punch.."
synopsis: it's only during the new year that huang renjun learns what love is, and loves comes in the form of a charming, margarita indulging, poetry obsessed man, you. after the clock strikes midnight, you take the once love skeptical man on a journey of discovering feelings, full of polaroids, bottle cleaning, and smudged lipstick. the only real question is, what do you do end up as when new years day is over? is this all going to come to nothing in the end?
pairing: huang renjun x male!reader
genre: modern au, not a uni au they've already graduated from uni 😭, strangers to lovers, they have a fling kinda, new years day..literally, this fic takes place during new years eve and new years day, fluff, light light angst, FAST ASS BURN!!
warnings: swearing, explicit language, sexual jokes, mentions of hookups, implications of sex but no smut, mentions of drinking, mentions of toxic workplace environments, things going from 1 to 100 so soon
word count: 12.6k
notes: one of the strangest pieces of writing i have ever completed.. let me get one thing straight, i 💗 renjun, i miss him and i hope hes doing well and taking care of himself :( this fic took the shortest time to write compared to like orbit of yours or all flights are delayed, literally completed this in less than a week.. thats a new isa record i think 😣 anyway!! i decided to do smth different with this fic, instead of just writing a bunch of scenes the singular scenes alone are all about a good few thousand words long, so it might seem short in terms of scenes cause there are really only eight, but each scene is super long so you'll be praying for it to end!!! is this probably super unrealistic? yes, but it's huang renjun so idc, enjoy :)
AT 11:34 PM, RENJUN FOUND HIMSELF IN a spot he didn't want to be. after the many failures he's had on all the previous years on new years eves, he was ready to stay home, with a heavy sweater on, pop a bag of popcorn, and sit down on his couch to rewatch the last season of bridgerton once again. he did not want to go out at all, he was not planning to go out at all. no drinking, no bar dates, no stupid flings that end up with the guy not calling you in the end, just him, alone, at his place, eating a shitload of popcorn and crying as much as possible even if there was nothing to cry about it.
going out and sitting at a bar was not on the list of things he wanted to do this new years eve. it reminds him too much of past flings which didn't really end well.. god all of those guys who acted like they were sooooo into him just to drop him the moment he wanted anything other than sex.
he wants to snap all of their necks right now.
renjun was not preparing to go out today, yeah it's new years eve and shit but he doesn't care, he doesn't want to drink.
but lee donghyuck, fucking lee donghyuck just had to stick his head in and beg for renjun to go out with the rest of them. his coworkers don't really annoy him, he just wishes they would stop nagging him. all huang renjun wanted to do on his new years eve was sit down and spend his day at home, watching stupid shows about love, love he knows he'll never get to experience because all the men he attracts are assholes who'd rather die before committing to anything.
and yeah, maybe renjun is being harsh, but the world has been so harsh on him already, he deserves to be harsh, the world deserves it!
so when donghyuck showed up to his place with the offering of him to go out with the rest of the group, he was quick to decline because he knew it was going to end up the same way it always did. he'd wake up having had yet another drunken one night stand and the guy would become nothing but a memory until the next new year when he did it all over again.
"but why not!? drinking can help you forget about that asshole jin—"
"don't mention his name" renjun scolded earlier that day, a steady glare in his eyes pointed at the younger. he heard the sigh of defeat escape donghyuck's lips, but he doesn't care, he turns back around to finish washing the dishes he'd left in the sink before. "and no, drinking isn't going to solve that problem, it'll make it worse".
"but you can't be alone on new year's eve!"
renjun turned back to the yelling lee, a deadpanned expression on his face. "yes i can, i literally will".
"ugh! you're so boring! jeno help me plead my case here!"
renjun just rolled his eyes, trying his best to ignore the insult from his 'friend'. it wasn't often that they decided to crowd up in his place, but because of the new year coming up, and his lack of interest in doing their little new years tradition, they all banded together to try and convince him to go out and drink.
"maybe going out will help you forget about your mess of an ex boyfriend".
"it never helps".
"maybe you should stop trying to get into some guys pants every time, then" jaemin judged out loud, and the older snapped his head towards him to glare once again, offended by that idea. "what? don't look at me like that, it's true!"
"it is not! you're acting like i'm some sort of sex obsessed freak!"
"well only on new years—"
"i have a knife here, do you want me to kill your right now?" he threatened, pointing the knife littered with soap at donghyuck, who shrieked and quickly hid behind jeno. he scoffed, dropping the sharp blade into the sink and drying off his hands. "i'm not going out drinking with you guys".
"so what? you're just going to sit around and do nothing?"
"that is the plan" the huang clicked his tongue, and a groan sounded from the rest of his same aged friends, which just resulted in him snickering at their misery. "whine all you want, i don't care".
"come on, renjunie!" jaemin quickly stood up and wrapped his arms around the older, a pout on his face as he stared at him, practically pleading through his eyes. "please! we won't do anything stupid we swear!" he cupped the older's face, squishing his cheeks between his hands.
renjun simply allowed for the action to happen, because jaemin would've continued to whine like a baby if he tried to push him anyway. "it's just today! you don't even have to drink, you can just sit around with us! pleaaseeeeeee?"
"okay okay get off" renjun pushed the younger away from him, lightly caressing his jaw as he tried to recover from his vice grip. "fine, i'll go out if it stops you all from being so annoying".
the gasp from donghyuck and his subsequent yell in victory made renjun roll his eyes again as he quickly dismissed his friends with a waving hand. "stop yelling or i'll change my mind".
jeno quickly nudged donghyuck, who stopped his yelling and just gave a blinding smile. "we'll see you later then, renjunie! chenle will text you the address!"
renjun was not looking forward to this outing they had planned.
so here he is, december 31st, 11:34 pm, sat at a bar as his friends all get up to their own things. when he first did arrive, he thought he'd only be there for a good hour and a half before leaving, but no, it's almost twenty minutes away from midnight and he's still here, sat at the bar, without a drink anywhere near him.
at this point, he's about to order a drink just to make himself less bored.
"excuse me?" he calls out, catching the attention of the bartender in front of him. he gives a small smile, lightly straightening up his seat and sighing. "hi, can i have a kir royale?"
the bartender raises an eyebrow, blinking at the stranger in front of him. "just that?"
"just that" he confirms, smiling when he earns a nod from the stranger before him. "thank you".
"kir royale? you have questionable taste.."
renjun startles when he hears the sound of an unfamiliar voice, while he would've been annoyed if it was one of his friends who decided to keep him company after abandoning him to go on and do stuff with other people, he probably would've preferred them instead of.. well, you.
and that's not in an insulting way, you just make everything so complicated for renjun.
"questionable?" renjun raises an eyebrow, just a little irritated by the words from this stranger who had seemingly come out of nowhere. you blink, snickering lightly as you settle down beside him, you already have a drink of your own, but renjun can't currently focus on that. "what is that supposed to mean?"
"just didn't think it would be someone's first choice.." you mutter, fingers toying with the glass of your cup. "but i can't judge anyone for they're drink choices, i can't really judge anyone for anything" you giggle to yourself, and renjun catches your smile, a smile he decides is pretty.
renjun allows for a small laugh to escape his own lips, probably the first time he ever laughed that night, it wouldn't be the last time, though. "i just want something to drink, at this point, it doesn't matter if it tastes good or bad anymore, my year has been insanely shitty".
"oh? trying to erase the mistakes of the previous twelve months with drinking?"
"you could say that" renjun replies, smiling softly at you then turning back to the bartender in front of him, he let out another small 'thank you' and slid the drink over to him smoothly. "i just don't want to drink too much" he says, beginning to dig through his wallet to pay for this little drink.
"scared of the hangover?"
"not the hangover, just scared of saying something i'll regret" he chuckles again, finally finding his card and paying for his drink. he again smiles at the bartender and places his card back in his wallet, merely glancing at you.
"hm" you respond, taking another sip of your drink. "that's understandable".
"yeah.." he mumbles, immediately looking away from you as he feels his face redden stupidly quickly. what is he even blushing for? he just met you, there is no reason you should be flustering him, you didn't even do anything. "what's your name?" he's quick to ask, and you hum again as a response, picking at your nails.
"y/n".
renjun finally looks at you as you say your name, you aren't looking at him, checking the time on your phone. he looks you up down, examining everything about you, your clothes are nice, the jewelry your wearing is nice, your hair is nice, everything about you is nice.
your lips are especially nice, he would describe them as beautiful even.
but renjun should not be staring at your lips, or even be thinking about them, he didn't agree to go out just to hook up with another guy, he is not going to do that, it'd be idiotic for him to. yeah you're pretty, very pretty, but renjun isn't going to allow for this conversation to escalate into something.. else, he's not going to surrender his pride because of a pretty guy he met at a bar.
"and you?"
renjun's face only burns more when he realizes he's been silent all this time, just marking each of your features in his head, he probably looked so stupid, just staring at you speechless. "oh! me? me! yeah uh— renjun".
"renjun" you snap your fingers as you say his name. "ren-jun, pretty, i like it".
"pretty?"
"yeah, a pretty name for a pretty guy".
renjun immediately wants to rebut with a snappy response, but he gets much more flustered than he wants to admit, because he instead begins trying to sputter out a response with his face now reddening excessively. "i— flirting with me on new year's eve, really?"
"not flirting, just telling you what i observed".
"so you think i'm pretty?"
"i'd be lying if i said i didn't" you reply smoothly, a grin tugging at your lips as you take another sip of your almost finished drink. "is it such a surprise that i think so?"
"well.. no, but it's just, i don't know, i don't want to do something i'll regret".
you raise an eyebrow, clearly puzzled by the seemingly cryptic words. "what does that mean?"
renjun lets out a small sigh, he can't believe he's going to say this, especially to you, a pretty stranger he met at a bar on new year's eve. "i can't start a new thing with another guy on new year's eve because it never ends up well, i should've learned my lesson by now".
you blink, staring at renjun for much longer than he thinks he could ever handle. you're silent for a while, processing his words and tilting your head to the side to get a better look at him. "ah, so all of your new year's eve hookups end terribly?"
"not just my new year's eve hookups, all of my attempts at love have ended terribly, can't believe love is advertised as something so desirable but every single time i try, i fail!"
"that has to do more with the people you entangle yourself with, not love itself".
"love is stupid" renjun's teeth drag against each other as he says those words, harsh words, yes, but he deserves to be harsh, the world deserves his wrath because the only thing that's ever been given to him is heartbreak after heartbreak after heartbreak! you let out a small chuckle at the sight of his gritted teeth, the words amuse you.
"is it? or have you just had horrible experiences with it?"
"okay mr love expert" renjun is quick to rebut, and the statement is enough to get yet another laugh out of you. "what do you know about love?"
you pause for a moment as you think about the words he suddenly spits, the question makes you smile, that pretty smile that renjun loves so much, he wants to punch you in the face for being so pretty.
"it can bruise, like a punch.." your quick to answer, fiddling with your shirt collar. "but it's not all bad, love can be beautiful, entrancing, when you do find someone who really loves you, it can be a magical experience, a whirlwind of joy you never knew you could feel for another human being".
"are you into all that poetic bullshit?"
"i guess you could say that".
renjun giggles, a small shake of his head accompanying the sound which escapes his lips. he won't lie, you're very funny, hilarious even. at least he has you as company on this terrible new year's eve, even with your stupid talks of love, he enjoys having you around. "are you going to try to redeem love for me?"
the words are much more flirtatious than he intends for them to be, but it seems you don't notice, because you just smile at his words. "i can't change something you don't want me to, i can only inform you on how i feel about the topic".
renjun opens his mouth to say something in return, but he doesn't really know how to respond to that. god, how have you managed to leave him so speechless even though this is your first encounter? he's about to collapse onto the floor with how surprised he is.
but somehow, renjun stands his ground, literally. "your pretty well spoken for someone so.. you".
"someone so me?"
"yeah" renjun clears his throat. "you remind me of a friend of mine, you probably have so many people falling at your feet without you even having to do anything".
"you make me sound much more interesting than i actually am" you finally finish your drink, your cheeks are dusted red, and you fiddle with the glass in your hands, tracing each of the cuts carved into it. renjun has no idea why he focuses on your hands, but he does, he intently watches as your fingers move skillfully, and his ears begin burning at just the fact that he's staring at your fingers.
oh you've hit a whole new low, huang renjun.
"so you're not some cool playboy who has seven boyfriends?"
"do i strike you as a whore?"
that made renjun laugh even harder, and he had to cover his mouth with his hand. "you're so.. abrupt".
"i like to think that's one of my best traits" you respond, clasping your hands together before focusing your full attention on renjun, attention which immediately makes all of renjun's senses heighten. "so, any interesting new year's resolutions?"
renjun groans at the question, playfully rolling his eyes. "i have to stop making mistakes when it comes to the men i choose to love".
you hum, finger beginning to circle around a small spot atop the counter. renjun has to use pretty much all of his inner power to prevent his eyes from falling down towards your fingers and staring at them. he really has no idea why he's resisting these very needy urges, he doesn't want to seem easy to you, he doesn't want to seem easy to anyone.
but there's something about you, something that makes him want to stay instead of leave, this is something different, not like the other encounters he's had with cute guys at bars on new year's eve. "and what about you? what is your resolution?"
"probably to quit my shitty job".
renjun snorts, finding the statement amusing. "that's a good one, much better than mine".
"i would disagree, yours seems full of much more ambition".
"well i do pride myself on my ambitious spirit" renjun hums, unabashedly checking you out right in front of you, maybe it's the one drink getting to his head, but he's no longer ashamed anymore, he's doing it in broad daylight. "i think you're pretty too".
renjun has no idea where those words came from, but they definitely have an impact, because a small red hue settles on your cheeks, and renjun smiles in victory, he flustered you, he's so proud of himself for that. "oh really? you think i'm pretty, renjun?"
you lean closer to him as you say those words, allowing for your breath to fan against his face, and getting a close up few of his striking features. your eyes cast down towards his lips, but you quickly look back up to make eye contact, not wanting to distract yourself.
renjun, on the other hand, finds himself frozen in place. you're close, you're so close, and renjun can see each of the pores on your face. he can't move, so he doesn't move, he allows for his eyes to drag around your face and mark each of your very features.
"yeah" he responds, voice frail and barely above a whisper. "arguably the prettiest guy i've ever met at a bar on new year's eve" his response gets a small smile out of you, and you click your tongue as you merely glance away.
"rich of you to say, you're probably the prettiest guy i've ever met point blank".
"don't try to one up me".
you raise an eyebrow, that annoying smile still on your lips. "i just did".
renjun just bites his bottom lip, he can't help but stare directly at yours.
he is unashamed.
AT 11:57 PM, RENJUN FOUND HIMSELF IN an unfamiliar spot, but a familiar situation. his hands tangled in your hair, your fingers caressing his waist under his shirt, nothing against your back but the steel of your sink and the feeling of his lips on yours, renjun found himself amused by his current circumstances. what did he say again earlier? right, he wasn't going out to end up in the same place he always did on new year's eve, but here is, history truly has a way of repeating itself. renjun doesn't care if he comes off as desperate, it felt horrible trying to contain himself out there, he can't believe he actually did end up surrendering his pride to you, the pretty guy he met at a bar.
well, that's not exactly it.
having the sudden need for air, you pull away, chuckling at the way renjun doesn't really move away from you, his fingers in your hair settle for a moment, and they begin gently running through it, as if he's trying to coax you into a slumber or something. "is this how you spend your new year's eve? making out with a guy in a bar bathroom?"
renjun scoffs, registering your red face, he wants to laugh, but his is probably not better off, so he stops himself. "did you want to make out outside?"
"i think you wanted to make out outside, did you think you were slick?"
renjun frowns, it's not a serious frown, it's a playful one, and shoves your shoulder lightly. "i should've never kissed you.."
"aww" you pout, over exaggerating your expression to amuse the man in front of you. it seems to work, because renjun snorts at the way you're looking at him. he simply tightens his hold in your hair and pulls you closer to press your lips against his once more, making you squeak lightly in surprise.
"you're so annoying.." he whispers against your lips, he wants to act on his hearts desire, but instead refrains from kissing you once again, though your lips do look tempting, he already did it enough in the span of a few minutes. "you're lucky your cute".
"thank you" you hum happily, a pretty grin tugging on your lips as you stare at him. "you're cuter, though".
that results in a tch from renjun. "corny".
"cornier".
renjun snickers, preparing a new rebuttal as he continues running his fingers through your hair. you decide you like the feeling, so you don't tell him to let go of your hair, just allow for his fingers to relax and cart through your it. "can't believe i ended up here with you.." he mutters under his breath, and you simply smile as you pretend you didn't hear that.
unconsciously, your fingers again disappear under his shirt to caress his waist. renjun settles into the touch, your full hand isn't exactly wrapped around his waist, but you still manage to cover most of it, even if what your doing is just feeling his skin with the touch of your cold fingers. "where else would you want to be, right now?"
"at home, in my bed, under a mountain of blankets".
you tilt your head, staring at him. you find it funny how casual everything between the two of you seems after having a nonstop make out session where he quite literally pressed you against the sink, his duality is simply admirable. "i can't say that doesn't seem completely alluring right now".
renjun lets a smile come to his face, but a whole new realization suddenly dawns on him. it is new year's eve, the countdown should be starting soon. "what time is it?" he asks you, words rushed and simply spat out in a moment of clear confusion.
you glance down at your watch, narrowing your eyes at the numbers presented on the miniature clock. "a minute till midnight, not sure about how many seconds are left though".
renjun opens his mouth to ask another question, but is quickly cut off by the sound of someone outside shouting about the ten second countdown to new year's day. he looks at you again, and a smile comes to your face. "guess we won't be counting down with the crowd".
you now fully wrap your arms around his waist, easily pulling him closer to you as you hear the crowd of people outside begin counting down. ten, nine, eight; "don't you find this fun, though? spending new year's with a pretty bar boy?"
then seven, then six, renjun can't really focus properly on anything. "eh, it could be better".
he drops his hand from your hair and starts down with his index finger, stopping at your shirt collar that he quickly begins to fiddle with. five; the numbers are practically burning into his head at this point.
you seem to notice him thinking, and you nudge him, squeezing his waist gently. "hey" you call out, a small whisper, you remove one of your hands from his waist to lift his chin with your index finger, making eye contact with you. "don't think so much, just be in the moment".
four, three, two.
renjun allows for a sigh to escape his lips, trying his best to push all of his anxieties away as he looks up at you. he, again, tilts his head and leans closer to you. just at the last shout of one, he barely whispers it, seemingly just a lingering breath on your lips. "happy new year".
and again, renjun initiates the kiss between you two. if anyone saw him right now, they'd think he was dying with how urgent he seemed. it was like he'd die if you didn't put your lips on his, kissing you like a man on death row. he kept himself pressed against you, as if the idea of not feeling every single part of you was unfathomable.
you weren't much better off, though not the one initiating the kiss, you slowly take over the control, transforming it into less of a heated moment and more of a soft one, nothing but a few press of the lips, less rushed and more thought out. your fingers continue to caress his waist, ignoring the growing butterflies in your stomach.
surely this can't be anything serious, this is just a random guy your making out with in a bar bathroom on new year's eve. why would it ever be serious?
you refrain yourself from thinking too much about it.
when renjun finally pulls away, catching his breath in the process, his eyes immediately look down onto the floor, avoiding eye contact with you like you would turn him into stone if he even looked you in the eye. "sorry, i.. i don't know why i did all that".
you chuckle lightly, just smiling at him. "it's fine, i mean— you do know how to handle things your passionate about".
renjun laughs at the joke, still not looking at you. you want to take his jaw in your hands and move him to look at you, to make eye contact with you, but you stop yourself from doing that, the last thing you want to do is make him uncomfortable because you want him to look at you. "happy new year, renjun".
the soft spoken statement makes renjun finally turn to look at you. he has no idea why, but his face heats up upon seeing the small smile painted on your features, your smile is very pretty, he can't stress that enough today.
he doesn't stop himself from moving up his hand and touching your cheek, beginning to caress your soft skin with his thumb. this is strangely intimate, much more intimate than he usually gets with guys he meets at bars on new year's eve, what's with you that's so different? what is it about you that has his stomach flipping in strange ways?
"happy new year, y/n" he finally answers, sharing the same soft smile with you that you shared with him. it's a strange moment, the air isn't thick, it's not suffocating you two, everything feels..just right.
his lipstick has probably gone to shit by now, all smudged and messed up, he can see the marks on your neck, marks that make his stomach squirm in ways he can't explain. he doesn't really know if he wants all of this to end right now, and as his eyes zero in on your lips again, he blurts one of the first things he can think of.
"i don't— i mean.. come home with me?"
the question makes you blink, and even renjun seems confused by the words. why did i ask that? why the fuck did i ask that? he's literally about to die from the second hand embarrassment he feels.
"are you sure you want that?"
"we don't have to do anything!" he immediately shouts defensively, face so red he might collapse from the excessive heat of his cheeks. "we could just talk and stuff, i don't know, i just want your company i guess.."
renjun doesn't look at you as he mutters those words, again way too embarrassed to look you in the eye. how did you even manage to get him like this? he doesn't think he's ever been this flustered by a guy he just met ever.
it's so embarrassing.
"well i can't disagree with such an offer, can i?"
renjun attempts his best unbothered scoff, but he is already so bothered by you, if his red face is anything to go by. "shut up before i change my mind".
and all you do is chuckle.
AT 12:10 AM, RENJUN FOUND HIMSELF ON a walk down the sidewalk with his hands laced together with yours. the streets are much more crowded on this day, and at this time, that's a rare sight. he can see all the people giggling, drunkenly making their way across the streets and down the sidewalks, friends helping other friends support themselves, girls walking while carrying their heels because their feet have begun to cramp, strangers giggling and going on with their lives. renjun allows for himself to observe everyone doing their own thing, stars in the sky shining brightly above him, but even with his focus on the other people around, his attention quickly floats back to you, and he notices that you're too lost in your own world of observation.
though he asked you to come home with him, renjun didn't really think the whole thing through, it was a weirdly impulsive decision that he would usually always overthink before making, but with you.. you just have this unsaid affect on renjun he can't explain, you have this ability to turn his brain into mush.
of course, he couldn't just go home with you without telling his friends he was going home. donghyuck was already passed out by that point, so renjun was spared from his teasing, but that didn't mean jaemin and chenle went easy on him, with their raising eyebrows and tormenting tones of voice.
you charmed those two immediately, impressing them by doing literally anything. they both exchanged enticed glances as they sent renjun a few frivolous looks, looks that he chose to respond with glares as he tried to ignore his quickly reddening face. jaemin made sure to take extra time shaking your hand (a handshake which renjun laser focused on), even squeezing it for extra measure.
so renjun was sort of right, you do easily have people falling at your feet.
renjun pretended to not notice the way you clearly enchanted the two, and he also pretended not to notice the snicker you let out as he quickly dragged you away from his friends, midway through one of his jaemin's pick up lines.
no he wasn't jealous, and even if he was, he was not going to admit that to anyone, not even to any of his friends (the little 'lucky' text he got from chenle was funny, though, he'd admit that).
"the stars are beautiful tonight".
renjun snaps out of his whirlwind of thoughts as he hears the small mutter from you. the two of you are still holding hands, when did you even begin holding hands? renjun has no idea, but for some reasons, it feels right, like your fingers slip together so perfectly, just your hand in his is the perfect feeling, like it was the missing piece of a puzzle.
you're staring up at the sky, eyes practically lit up in interest as you stared at the luminous balls of gas in the night sky. renjun lets out a small laugh at how engrossed you are in the stars shining in the sky, and you notice that small laugh, because you finally stop your stargazing to look over at renjun. "what's so funny?"
"you just look so into the stars" he replies, a small smile coming to his face as he looks into your eyes. "your fascination is admirable" he whispers, saying the words in a low voice like it's a secret he wants to keep only between you two.
you blink, staring at renjun as if you were in love with him or something, a look that makes him feel much more giddy than he'd like to admit. then, though you're clearly flustered, you clear your throat and try your best to not make your red face obvious. "really? i think my interest in stars is nerdy".
"nerdy?"
"that's what everyone else says".
renjun lets his face fall in just the slightest, the words upsetting him lightly. still, he doesn't say anything about it, instead answering something else you mentioned. "your interest in stars is cute, i like seeing people so passionate about things".
you raise an eyebrow, only focusing on one specific word in that sentence. "cute?"
"it was the first word to come to mind".
"hm" you swing your hands back and forth, scooting closer to renjun as you do so.
you're close, you're so close, renjun is unsure of how he's even able to continue breathing with the way your shoulders brush against each other, he squeezes your laced hands, trying to brush off any other thoughts he might be having at the moment. "is stargazing a hobby of yours?"
"it's only really a hobby i do on certain nights, nights when i know certain constellations can be soon, or a shooting star is happening".
"ah" renjun loves that response much more than he can express with words. "you always talk about your hobbies as if you're in love with them".
"well it's just how i get when i'm very into something, i can't really just express things normally when it comes to shit like that".
renjun lets out a laugh at the words, catching view of his tall apartment building and tightening his grip on your hand, making you squeak in surprise as he jolts you forward with a hard tug of your hand. you could easily overpower him, make his life harder by refusing to be dragged, but you allow him to drag you forward towards the doors of his building.
"jeez, don't yank my arm off, huang" you chastise playfully, using his surname to aggravate him, but he only shoots a small glare at you. "what's the rush?" you inquire, frowning lightly as his hand slips from yours, you settle beside him in the elevator, watching him as he presses the five button with his finger.
"there is no rush" he lies, a clear, bold faced lie. he does nothing but smile at you, anxiously swaying back and forth as he stares at the elevator going up one by one. "don't give me that look".
you chuckle at his sudden scolding. "what look?"
"the look where you start reading my inner most thoughts" renjun states, as if he was sure of the kind of look you were giving him. when he sees the puzzled look in your eyes, he sighs. "it's a look i've gotten from many of my friends, feels like you're seeing through my head and know what i'm thinking".
you smile at his explanation, finding the words to be humorous. "well you do think so expressively, i feel like i can hear your thoughts running".
"should i be worried about how you described that?"
"definitely not, what are you thinking so hard about?"
renjun pauses at the question, the dinging of the elevator at floor two, doors opening to welcome in two drunk college students, two drunk college students who press the floor eight button and move to a corner of the elevator to keep themselves wrapped in each other's arms. renjun blinks at the sight of them, unconsciously moving closer to you, bumping into you in the process.
you move your hand down to intertwine your fingers with his, an action that renjun questions, but doesn't rebel against. the students are much too interested in their own conversation to care about you two, so you nudge renjun, who finally looks back at you. "answer my question, what were you thinking so hard about?"
the volume of your voice is much lower, you probably don't want to disturb the also muttering students in the elevator, but it's also because you don't want to expose renjun's answer to these two strangers he probably doesn't want to share his thoughts with. "it's a secret" he responds with a small whisper, leaning closer to you as says those words, the words a whisper against your ear.
his sudden closeness is enough to fluster you.
seemingly glad that he caused your newly reddened face, renjun leans away from your ear and smiles happily, swinging your laced hands back and forth. if you think about it, the two of you kind of look like a couple, the thought is enough to amuse you, because you really just are strangers who enjoy kissing each other, you didn't even know each other two hours ago, and now he's bringing you home with him.
if this is the story you think it is, the ending seems pretty clear.
it seems that the time flies by, because you look up at the counting numbers and the elevator dings, floor five. you barely have time to react before renjun's grip on your hand tightens, and he drags you by your hand once again, this time out of the elevator and towards his unit.
you swear you hear those drunk college kids giggle at the sight of you two.
"this place is nice" you comment absentmindedly, reading off each of the numbers placed on each of the other doors. "better than anything i could afford on my own, what do you do for work?"
"i work for a graphic design company".
"what's your position? do you run the place or something?"
renjun snickers at your surprise, finally stopping the two of you in front of a door which reads the number 'fifteen'. he begins digging through his pocket for his house key, though acknowledging your question as he does so. "i'm just good at my job i guess.. pay has always been good for me".
after finding his key, renjun attempts to open the door, but he struggles a few times to put his key in the key slot, an annoyed groan escaping his lips as he turns his key over again.
you chuckle at his little battle, catching his scrunched nose and furrowed eyebrows. "need some help there?"
renjun sends you a quick glare. "haha, very funny" he says, looking back to his front door and finally, after what seemed like forever, he unlocked the door of his home, gesturing with his head for you to come in.
you blink at him, but as you watch him step forward, you also step forward, letting yourself into his space. you pause as you begin looking around the expanse of an area. it's a nice place, yeah it lives up to the pristine outside of the apartment building, save for a few empty bottles littering the floor. the place is cozy, the air in the room is comforting to you, it isn't thick or anything.
you feel comfortable here.
"you gonna stand there forever?"
you laugh at renjun's inquiry, continuing to look around his complex, picking up on the many art pieces pinned against the wall. "what else am i supposed to do?" you ask back, allowing for renjun's home decor to catch your attention, it's all strangely him, they all describe his personality so well.
"come with me".
"is that an order? or.." you get an answer to that question when you turn to renjun and he stares at you with that pointed look, so you know better than to question his words, and like a lost puppy, you follow behind him to his room.
renjun doesn't say anything more, just takes off his jacket and falls face first onto his bed. you sort of just stand there awkwardly, fidgeting with the zipper on your jacket. renjun turns over, eyes staring up at the ceiling, they then flick over to you, a soft look in them dedicated towards you.
you simply blink at him, chuckling at the display before you. renjun doesn't speak, just gestures you over with his index finger. when you step closer, you simply sigh and sit down on his soft mattress, you were about to fall back and go to sleep yourself, but you stop from doing such things. "what's up with you?"
renjun sighs, and that sigh quickly forms into a soft whine. "i'm so tired y/n" his head rests against his pillow, and his eyes begin drooping shut slowly.
you smile, he's so cute. "then sleep".
renjun seems to want to comply with that, but he thinks about it before answering. "are you still gonna be here when i wake up?"
the question baffles you, it's a question asked with pure exhaustion in his voice, a look in his eye that's so tempting you just want to dive in to kiss him at this very moment, but you stop yourself from acting on such desires, trying to seem not as desperate as you felt. you shrug at the question, which makes renjun frown. "it depends on if you want me here when you wake up".
"if i wake up in the next few hours and i don't see you right there beside me, we are going to have serious issues y/n".
his demanding tone and the serious look in his eye is enough to get another chuckle out of you. renjun then makes himself comfortable, patting the pillow beside his. "lay down with me".
"you're so bossy" you laugh, and renjun is too annoyed to punch your shoulder, so he lets out a tiny irritated grunt in response. you let your jacket fall to the floor, laying your head down onto the soft material of the pillow, almost falling asleep right then and there.
renjun reaches out and begins caressing your cheek with his thumb. again, it's strangely intimate, a satisfying touch against your face which begins to relax you. renjun has no idea why he keeps doing this, but you would tell him if you felt uncomfortable, and you aren't, you like the feeling if you say so yourself.
but just as you were about to doze off, getting coaxed to sleep by the smooth ministrations on your cheek, renjun asks one last question.
"you sure you're still gonna be here when i wake up?"
through your sleepy haze, you nod and let out a tiny chuckle, eyes closing against your own will. "i will, promise".
"promise.." renjun mimics, it's not a question, not a statement or anything, he just whispers the word into the air, continuing to stroke your cheek as he stares at you, slowly slipping into a deep sleep.
sleep quickly takes him away as well, but not before he smiles at the sight of your tired face.
AT 8:03 AM, RENJUN FOUND HIMSELF IN the same spot he fell asleep, which he very much expected. he only rubs his eyes in the slightest, they take a little too long to adjust to the light permeating through the window, though only a small crack of sunlight, it's enough to make his eyes close once again, taking a few more eye openings for them to adjust to the sight of his surrounding room. when they finally to adjust, he's quick to glance over at the spot beside him, and he smiles as he sees you in the same place he left you. you had kept your promise of still being there when he woke up, and though renjun would probably call himself stupid for this on most days, he stops and stares. he keeps his head laid back comfortably onto his pillow and watches you sleep.
that sounds pretty creepy in hindsight, but at the current moment, renjun feels like he has to stare at your snoring figure. your face is half turned into the pillow your laying on, your cheeks dusted red as they press into the soft fabric of the pillow. he giggles softly as he watches your chest rise and fall, the only sound he can hear being the inhales your taking in and the exhales your letting out.
ah, so you're not a snorer, renjun finds the fact to be surprising. it's not that he expected you to have monster snoring habits or something, but he expected at least some sort of loud noises from you while you slept, but no, you sleep so gently.
you sleep like a baby, and you also look like one in the dimly lit room. sun shining on your face, highlighting your features, your pink lips parted as you let out short breaths, your cheeks a rosy red, he can't help but smile at the sight of you sleeping in front of him.
you look so cute, so serene, renjun wants to pinch your cheek and never let go.
but then he's struck with the realization that he has to wake up, a realization that makes him frown as he lets out a small groan.
the sound emanating from his lips seems to be loud enough that you startle out of your slumber, shifting slightly against the mattress. renjun almost jumps back in surprise when he sees you shift again, rubbing your eyes and letting out a small groan. renjun doesn't take his eyes off you, though, just watches you stretch awake, then close your eyes once again.
after what seems like forever, your eyes open and you blink a few times at the male in front of you. when you stop blinking, you smile at him, as he makes no effort to even try to look away from you. "hi" you greet, taking a deep breath as you sigh against the material of the pillow under your head.
"hi" renjun greets back, unable to resist his giggle as he stares at your tired morning face.
you try your best to tilt your head, humming at his greeting. "were you watching me?" you ask immediately, trying your best to tease him even with the rasp of your voice.
"yeah".
"you creep".
renjun does nothing to confirm or deny the claim, simply hums and gently flicks your forehead, making you let out a wince of pain, a wince he's sure you're faking. "you sleep like a baby".
you furrow your eyebrows, seemingly confused by that statement. "what is that supposed to mean?"
"you sleep so peacefully, like you have no responsibilities in life".
the statement makes you snicker, and you turn more into the pillow to hide your quickly reddening face. renjun giggles again, fulfilling his desire of pinching your cheek, an act of affection that you quickly flinch away from, clearly flustered but instead feigning annoyance.
"that's a stupid way to describe it".
"was just describing what i saw".
"okay then responsible adult, go get up and do responsible adult things".
renjun rolls his eyes, shoving your shoulder and rising from his comfortable blanket, stretching his arms above his head. he slaps your thigh, eliciting a small yelp from you. "come on, let's go".
you seem puzzled by that order. "let's go where?"
"to the bathroom, we have to go brush our teeth".
"we?"
"yes we, get up i have an extra toothbrush for you".
so, again like a lost puppy, you rise from your place on renjun's bed and follow behind him to the bathroom.
you find it laughable how easily you fall under his control.
"do you enjoy ordering me around?"
"i think you enjoy being ordered around" renjun is quick to accuse, an accusation that you just chuckle at, which is all he needs as confirmation. he gets into a familiar spot in front of his mirror, picking up his toothbrush and turning on the sink. "you never question my orders, you always follow me around, do you like that in guys?"
you laugh at the words, clearly amused but clearly not offended. he picks up an extra toothbrush and hands it over to you, having to resist the urge to smile at the sight of your messy hair. "you could say something like that".
renjun scoffs softly. "you're gross" he comments, rolling his eyes as he begins brushing his teeth, staring at you through the reflection of the mirror. renjun focuses less on brushing his teeth and more on how pretty you look, even having just rolled out of bed and hair pretty much messed out of proportion, you still look so beautiful in his eye.
you notice his eyes on you, and seeing as he's currently brushing his teeth, you decide to take your chance. "if you like how i look that much you can just say so".
renjun almost bites down on his toothbrush upon hearing the words. clever asshole, he says in his head, irritated by how you took that opportunity to make a witty comment.
you grin in victory, beginning to brush your teeth just as renjun spits out the toothpaste formerly in his mouth. "you think you're sooo smooth, huh?"
he's annoyed, most definitely flustered, though, if his red cheeks are any indicator, but he's not going to give the satisfaction of flustering him (even though you definitely did). you nod at his question, proud of your flirty little comment.
"you're so annoying".
"and cute right?"
the two of you make eye contact through the mirror reflection again, and you use that opportunity to wink at him while he has his eyes on you, only making renjun scrunch his nose again.
"you're not cute".
"i think you'd disagree, seeing as how you were literally devouring me back in that bathroom".
renjun sends you a glare, immediately flipping you off as he sees you wink again in the reflection of the mirror.
"at least be nice to me".
renjun rolls his eyes so much that he's sure they're going to get stuck in the same spot.
oh you're so good at annoying him.
AT 10:48 AM, RENJUN FOUND HIMSELF IN a spot he'd rather not be in. he lets na jaemin get away with things way too often, because there are way too many bottles on the floor and at least half of them were drank by him. still, he can't just leave the mess on the floor, it's not like it'll clean itself up. after eating breakfast, and making sure to insult your favorite cereals, renjun stared at the hefty bottle mess on the floor for what seemed like years. he then rolled his eyes and let out a groan knowing he had to clean it all up. he can't really make an excuse now, so, he starts his picking up the empty bottles off the floor, cursing in his head as he finds himself starting to get annoyed once again.
"renjun! do you see this?"
oh right, you're still here. renjun pauses to look over at you, and he lightly chuckles at what he sees. your standing there (in one of his sweaters by the way holy shit) with a polaroid camera in your hands. it's a camera renjun recognizes, he used to love that thing when he first got it, but he forgot about it after a while. "where'd you find that?"
"in your room".
renjun raises an eyebrow, a grin tugging at his lips. "were you going through my stuff?"
you look baffled by the question, and you quickly stutter through your response. "no! no! i wasn't i was just looking for a sweater because you told me to and i found it in your closet!"
renjun finds it easy to laugh at your display, and the frown on your face is so cute he has to resist the urge to kiss you right then and there. "okay then, what's so interesting about it?"
"well nothing in particular i just really like polaroid cameras!"
you're so.. cute? adorable? precious? all of those adjectives describe you perfectly. you're always so giddy about the things your into, even the hobbies most people would consider "boring" you talk about with such interest, renjun has no idea why he notices you this way, it's never been like this with most of his new years flings. yeah most of them have made it to his home, but it's simply something about you, you make renjun feel a sort of way he never thought he'd feel for a guy he met at a bar on new years eve.
you don't feel like just a fling, you feel like more than that, you sort of feel like home in a way. he would love to go out with you sometime, even if the new years eve bathroom makeout session never happened, he thinks a date with you would be perfect, he can already envision it now.
but wait, why is he doing that? why is he standing here, staring at your pretty face, and thinking about dating you? there's no way he feels anything serious for you, right? it's not like he's in love with you, he can't be! you don't fall in love with someone you've only known for a good eleven hours!
he isn't even sure if he knows what love is, but he knows he can't be in love with you.
renjun snaps out of his thoughts when he hears the click of a camera, he immediately turns to over to you, and he frowns as he sees your fingers on the button of the camera. "y/n".
you blink, catching his frown, any playfulness in your tone immediately disappears. "what? did i do something wrong?"
"why'd you take a picture?"
you again seem baffled by the question, because you let out a small snicker. "you looked very pretty in the moment".
"i don't think that's true".
"it is! you're so photogenic are you kidding me!?"
you stare at the polaroid containing the picture of renjun in your hands, smiling softly at what you see. renjun smiles at the words, feeling his cheeks flare up as you gaze down at the polaroid. "you're so corny".
"and you're still cornier".
renjun snickers, but he doesn't say anymore, turning away from you to focus back on picking up the bottles on the floor. you finally look up, placing the polaroid of him on the counter. "you seem very into that".
you hum, stepping closer to him. "i told you! i really like polaroid cameras!" renjun turns back to you, and he almost falls onto the floor realizing how close you are.
you stare down at the camera, playing with the several buttons. "i don't have a polaroid camera back at my place, but i have a point and shoot camera! maybe i can show it to you sometime".
you smile as you say those words, immediately turning around and going to place the camera on the counter, you miss renjun's reaction to your words. what did you mean by sometime? does that mean you're still going to talk after this? does that mean you're planning to take him to your place at least once? he can't help but overthink the words instantly.
but before he can ask you about it, you gasp. "you've been cleaning on your own the whole time!? let me help you!"
and renjun doesn't exactly know when to bring up his many thoughts, so the two of you begin cleaning the bottles together. you make sure to slip out a few more flirty comments in that time, comments that renjun makes sure to combat with steady glares and muttered curses, even with how red his face becomes.
for some reason, this feels.. right. renjun finds cleaning with you to be fun, he's enjoying even the smallest of moments he can share with you.
it sort of feels like you two are dating.
renjun spends way too much of his time staring at you. staring at you pick up bottles from the floor, staring at you ramble about cereal, staring at you take many more polaroids of him, polaroids you stated you'd "cherish forever".
this is strange, it's strange how he feels. it's strange how you make him feel, he doesn't remember the last time he ever felt this way for any guy, for anyone.
so, as renjun watches you wash the dishes, listening to your ramblings, he wonders if this is what love feels like, if this is what you were talking about back at the bar when you first met. you snicker at something you said in one of your random stories, but you stop as you notice renjun zoning out, clearly not paying attention to you.
"what are you thinking about?" you ask, drying off the plate and placing it back in the rack. renjun again snaps out of his daze, immediately breaking eye contact with you as he feels his face burn. "come on! renjunie~"
your wet finger touches his cheek, making him bite his inner cheek. "just.. something".
"you're not going to tell me about this something?"
renjun shakes his head, uncharacteristically silent. "i don't know if i'm ready to tell you about my stupid thoughts".
you get his words, so you don't press on. "alright, if you ever do want to tell me, you know i'm here".
renjun can only really stare at you, it's then that the realization dawns on him. oh god he likes you, he likes you so much that he might die if he doesn't spit it out instantly.
and when he sees you smile again, he has to use every ounce of energy in his body to not collapse onto the floor.
AT 6:17 PM, RENJUN FOUND HIMSELF IN a little bit of a crisis, a crisis that's begun all because of you. he feels his palms begin getting sweaty, and he can't stare at you for too long or he'll literally melt from how heated his face is becoming. it's literally january, it should be so cold that he's frozen, but he's burning every time he stares at you. he feels so embarrassed just saying something to you, and you can clearly tell you're getting to him because your smiles slowly begin to turn into smirks, smirks that burn into his brain and make his thoughts turn into mush in an instant. now he can't really tell you about his thoughts, because he's afraid of spilling his true feelings if he does.
renjun doesn't feel like any of this is intentional, you're not stringing him along just so you can break his heart and never contact him again.. at least, he hopes you're not. renjun feels like he's been through this exact process so many times, but none of the previous times have ever transpired like this before. you have to be an alien of some sorts, renjun has never met someone like you.
he hears his inner voice laughing in his mind, making fun of him for falling so easily into your hands. you do this each time, renjun, you say it's going to be different this coming new year and it never is, how long until you stop falling for these guys who don't care?
a pit forms in his stomach at the thought, and renjun finds himself upset much more easily than he thought he'd be.
love is weird, love has always been weird. it's never been easy for renjun to ever get love, either he got backstabbed by someone he thought he was on good terms with, or they would ghost him because they weren't interested but couldn't say it with their own fucking words.
why does he assume it'll be any different with you?
why does he assume that you're probably just as into him as he is you? what if he's reading everything wrong and you're really only here for one thing? what if you're just playing the long game?
renjun feels like he has no idea what's real or what's not. he can't read you and it makes him much more anxious than anything, he doesn't want to think that you're just like everyone else but considering his luck with love on new years, you probably are.
he feels like he's about to throw up.
"are you really going to quit your job?"
renjun asks that question out of desperation, out of the need for a conversation. your eyes flick over to him, and a smile comes to your face as you register the question. you look so pretty, the lighting in the room accentuates your features. "with the way it's going there? yeah".
"aren't you afraid of not being able to find more work..?" he bites his inner cheek, he has no idea why he asks that, he doesn't have control over your actions, you could quit whenever you want to, what difference would his opinion make.
"no, i have backup plans for that".
renjun didn't really expect that as an answer, but it's a good answer nonetheless, because he finds himself smiling at your words. "what's with your job that's shitty? is it the people? is it your coworkers?"
"that place is making me feel like garbage under someone's shoe, can't do anything without being yelled at or cussed out by a higher up because i'm being slow, customers lay their hands on me and i can't even do anything because the customer is always right!"
your frustrated, genuinely, probably the first ever time he's seen you frustrated since the clock struck twelve. just seeing you so frustrated is enough to weird him out, so he quickly tries to change the subject. "i hope you succeed at your resolution, that place sounds like hell".
"it is hell, the moment i can escape the confines of that place i'll be free, but anyway, what are you going to do to make your resolution come true?"
renjun blinks at you, mind suddenly blank. "what?"
you shift in your place on the other side of the couch, focusing all of your attention on renjun, who is struggling not to melt under your stare. "your resolution was to stop making mistakes with people you love or whatever, how are you going to fulfill that?"
renjun pauses, silence enveloping the room, he doesn't exactly know how to answer that, yeah he said his resolution with confidence, but that might've just been the alcohol that was in his system at that moment. how was he supposed to stop making the same mistake over and over again if he was currently doing it right now? he's sitting here with you, the cute guy he met at a bar on new years eve that he couldn't resist, it's a repetitive cycle that will never end.
renjun feels like an idiot, a hypocrite, how did he manage to fail at his whole resolution on new years day? he can't believe how easily he surrendered himself to you.
but when renjun glances up at you, catching your eyes in the process, he almost wants to fall into your arms and never leave them, he wants to wrap his arms around you and never let go.
"i think that resolution will take a while to reach, love is complicated and all.. i really just need time, i guess".
"time?"
renjun is afraid his voice is going to sound too quiet if he speaks. you stare at him with those eyes again, you stare at him as if you're in love with him, and renjun thinks that's crazy, because why would you ever be in love with him? the idea is a stupid one, he should cast it aside.
"yeah time, time is precious.. love takes time, i think this year, i'll be willing to wait for it".
the words strike you in a way you don't expect, and renjun picks up on it, because you pause for a moment and stare at him for a while. you stare for so long that renjun swears he's going to melt under your gaze, you then smile, your smile so pretty that renjun swears he's going to fall to the floor.
"how long are you willing to wait?"
"as long as it takes".
your about to respond again, but renjun quickly stands up, changing the subject. "do you like coffee ice cream?" he immediately asks, glancing at his fridge as he tries his best to pretend he's unaffected by your pretty eyes staring at him like that.
your eyes light up, clearly entertained by the idea of an ice cream party happening. "yeah, i like all ice cream flavors".
renjun snorts, clearly amused by your response. "weirdo".
you furrow your eyebrows, feigning offense at the words. renjun smiles at the perturbed look on your face, walking over to his fridge to go get the ice cream he had mentioned. "your calling me weird? you're so mean to me".
renjun doesn't listen to your complaints, he snickers at your tone of voice. you frown as you hear him laugh, crossing your arms stubbornly and turning away from him when he comes back with pints of ice cream. "are you mad at me?"
you don't respond.
renjun scoffs playfully, sitting down across from you. he blinks at you, watching you resist the urge to smile. "y/n~"
"shut up i'm trying to ignore you".
"you can't ignore me! or no ice cream!"
you gasp at the words, immediately giving him all of your attention. "hey! you can't do that if you offered it to me!"
"i can! and i will!"
"come on huang renjun!"
renjun only giggles as your complaints skyrocket in volume.
AT 11:34 PM, RENJUN FOUND HIMSELF ON top of the world. okay, not literally, but he felt like he was at the very moment. you had stayed for much longer than the both of you intended for you to, you kept saying that you would leave whenever, stop making renjun feel uncomfortable (did you really think you were making him feel that way? oh you have no idea), but he continued to deny your claims, he denied it until 11 o'clock rolled around and he found himself back at the time he started, except it was all different now. renjun is on the rooftop of his apartment building, staring up at the sky and the shining stars that create a line of luminosity across the airspace. the only reason renjun is on the roof right now is because you convinced him.
you managed to convinced him so easily, pleading eyes on display and pout enormous.
"renjun?" you asked as you walked into the kitchen, staring outside the open window at the night sky, lightly shivering at the cold air that hit you. "can i ask for a favor?"
renjun turned to you, running a hand through his hair as he stared at you. he's probably do you a million favors, how hasn't he done you one today?
"yeah, ask away".
you paused for a moment, staring at renjun for a what seemed like forever (in renjun's metrics), a seemingly anxious look in your eyes. "are we allowed to go to the rooftop of the building?"
renjun furrowed his eyebrows, puzzled by the question, why would you be curious about that?
"uh.. why?"
you stayed silent for a while, the longest you've ever gone without talking to renjun this day, that's weird, he's used to you running your mouth all the time. your eyes casted to the side, and renjun narrowed his own, noticing your sudden nervousness.
"i wanna go look at the stars.." you muttered, not looking at renjun as you said those words.
renjun let out a small laugh at the realization of what you wanted, but you seemed to think he was making fun of you, because you looked away again, clearly embarrassed by his laughter. "you know what we don't have to just pretend i never asked that i'll go now—"
"no no no! don't take it that way, i think it's cute, i'll go with you".
renjun likes describing your fascination for stars as 'cute', a fact that you made sure to note as you watched him grab his jacket. "what are you waiting for? come on!"
and what do you do when the huang renjun gives you an order? you obey like a mind controlled robot.
so, you allowed for renjun to take your hand (an action that flustered you much more than it should've) and lead you up to roof of his apartment building, the cold january air doing nothing to deter him from his mission, the mission he wanted to complete because of you.
your fingers are still intertwined when you make it up there, but your now less focused on his warm hands and more on the luminous lights in the night sky. your jacket is unzipped, barely protecting you from the freezing temperature of the outside, but the stars are much more appealing to you.
renjun chuckles lightly, feeling you squeeze his hand as another breeze of cold air rushes past you. "you're so into them y/n" he teases, nudging you with his shoulder.
"they're so pretty" you mutter, your eyes practically sparkling with amazement.
renjun watches you for what seems like forever (in his own metrics), distracted by your face. he admires your pure interest, it makes him smile, a smile that you clearly notice, as he catches your glancing eyes.
you then sigh, shivering lightly from the cold air outside. "renjun, i have a question for you".
your tone is much more serious than he expects it to be, and a pit forms in his stomach almost immediately. "you have to answer it with complete honesty though okay?"
renjun almost can't look you in the eye, and you grab both of his hands, facing him as you begin swinging your laced hands back and forth. renjun nods, almost a little too enthusiastically, but he can't exactly worry about that right now.
"do you like me?"
god of course i do, are you stupid?
but renjun bites his tongue, just chuckling and looking to the side. he squeezes your hands, looking back at you with an indescribable expression. "yes".
you look surprised, which surprises renjun himself. "yes? like actually—"
"y/n i don't know what you think has been transpiring today but— i don't know i really do like you, i'm not sure if it's love yet or whatever but i don't want to just let you go, i don't want for this day to end and for us to go back to being strangers again i.. i want to keep you in my life".
you blink, baffled by the words. your face reddens, you hope you can use the cold as an excuse for that. "really?"
renjun lets out a silent laugh, you're so cute. "yes really, was i not obvious?"
"was i not obvious?"
renjun realizes the irony of the situation, and he giggles again, looking down at the floor. "you're so dumb y/n" he pokes your cheek with his index finger. "but yeah, i'd like to go out with you sometime.. like, on a date".
your about to fall to the floor.
"alright, we can start with that.. dates, no labels, no rushing, we can take time with this".
renjun likes the sound of that, and he communicates that thought to you with another squeeze of your hand, smiling prettily at you. "i can get behind that" he leans closer intentionally. "can i still kiss you though?"
you roll your eyes, he's adorable, you lean forward and press a kiss to his lips, your way of answering his question. "yes, you dummy".
renjun scoffs softly, ignoring how quickly his face is heating up. "you're corny".
"and you're still cornier".
renjun would fight with you on it, but he thinks he'll let you have this win tonight.
RENJUN IS EATING HIS LUNCH WHEN JAEMIN brings it up, he wasn't really listening to his friends converse all this time, distracted by something else, or someone else.. he supposes. his head finally shoots up after a good twenty minutes of him ignoring his friends conversation about if mark could beat jeno in a fight, and he's met with a smug smiling na jaemin, a look he's quick to furrow his eyebrows at. jaemin snickers as he sees renjun's confusion, ready to ask a completely idiotic question. "renjunie? how did you and your little fling turned out?" the question is one jaemin probably should've asked a week ago, but he's asking it now that january is coming to a close? how amusing.
renjun blinks, chuckling immediately at the question. "what do you mean?"
jaemin scowls, slapping his arm lightly. "that cute guy you took home on new years eve! what happened between you two?"
"oh the cute guy?" chenle is quick to inquire as he turns to the older, jaemin nods in response. "yeah him! what was his name again..? y/n?"
"oh right! he was cute! did he let you hit?"
"excuse me?"
"i can't believe i passed out!" donghyuck whines in frustration, earning a small pat on the back from jeno, who was trying his best to stifle his giggles. "i wanted to meet renjun's cute guy" he pouts, sinking into his seat with crossed arms.
"oh he was so cute, hyuck, renjun got lucky with him".
"and funny too! funnier than the asshole from our last new years eve outing!"
renjun simply watches as jaemin and chenle go on to rave about you to donghyuck, who seems impressed even though you aren't even there, he laughs in his head at the fact, you're so charming you don't even have to be present to impress his friends.
"he sounds better than the other guys".
"he is!"
jaemin then turns back to renjun, forgetting about his first mission entirely. "soooo renjunie? how'd it go with your guy? did you sleep with him?"
renjun's face flushes at the question, he is very much embarrassed. he rolls his eyes, face practically on fire. "..yes".
"was he good?"
"don't ask that!"
jaemin yelps at the slap he gets from renjun, pouting as he stares at him. "asshole" he's quick to say, sticking his tongue out at the older, who just rolls his eyes again.
"so what happened after that?"
"what?"
chenle is clearly very invested in this. "did he just leave after that? did you get his number? are you two still in touch?"
"and if you aren't can you give me his socials?"
renjun gives jaemin a side glare, answering the question with almost a minute of silence. he hesitates before saying anything, earning weird looks from his friends. "well.."
"come on! spit it out!"
"don't rush me" renjun grits his teeth, fidgeting with the collar of his shirt as he thinks about you, a small smile coming to his face as he does. "were going on a date later today.."
chenle gasps, jaemin yells, donghyuck slams his hand onto the table, and jeno begins silently clapping. "real shit!?"
"yeah.."
"oh my god!" jaemin squeals, shaking renjun out of pure excitement. "congrats renjunie!"
renjun just lets him at this point, laughing at his energy. "don't get so up, it's not official yet were just going out".
"still! progress is being made!"
renjun can't resist his smile, and he looks down to avoid eye contact with his friends.
"renjun!"
renjun snaps his head towards the voice, seeing the front desk clerk walking up to him with a bouquet of peonies in his hands. "hi, do you need something?"
the clerk smiles, extending the bouquet towards him. "a guy came here and dropped these off, he told me to give them to you".
renjun blinks, slowly taking the bouquet of flowers as he pieces the puzzle together. "thank you" he whispers, staring at the flowers in his hands as his face heats up quickly.
as he examines the bouquet, ignoring the teasing of his friends, he finds a note, a note that he immediately smiles at upon reading.
a little birdie told me these were your favorite flowers? i can see why :) anyway, eat well, i'll see you tonight pretty!!
love, y/n ♡
oh you're so sweet.
jaemin gasps as he reads from the older's shoulder. "i can't believe it! you hit the jackpot with this guy renjunie!" but renjun can't even find it in himself to get mad at jaemin for being nosy, he's too busy trying to not cry at this gesture.
renjun can't believe he has you, he feels so lucky, like the happiest guy in the world.
"why can't i get flowers from a cute guy? when is it my turn?!"
renjun only chuckles at chenle's complaints, much too distracted thinking about you.
Send to 10 other bloggers you think are wonderful. Keep this going to make someone smile. ☆💛 (for you cuz your deserve that!!! quoting Mark Lee "God is our Lord and Savior")
