19.11.15
I think I need to start a new blog.
Don’t get me wrong, I love this blog, but I’m going through something totally new and I feel like I need to start over. Besides, I’ve been meaning to create a travel blog recently and this new one could be a self-help, positivity, travel kind of blog.
Honestly right now I’m just kind of rambling. I’m aimless today. In therapy I keep talking about how much I miss writing but I don’t know what to write. Kenzie told me about her idea to eventually open a self-help/lifestyle type store/gym (it’s hard to explain) and I can definitely envision that happening. I would love to turn that into a story somehow, but I feel like story ideas like that just turn into me turning my thoughts into weird fiction.
I could write about John. Lol. It’s weird. Everything is weird lately, to be quite honest. John is a sweet guy. He got me flowers. I just... I don’t know if I’m just comparing the two because I am bitter or what but being around John just makes me miss Tristan even more. I know Morgan said John is a good distraction but wow he likes me a lot and it’s scary and I don’t know if I want it to be happening. I thought I wouldn’t want to be around Tristan three years ago but I fell for him pretty quick. When I think about John I’m just kind of like, “Great. He likes me and I have to put up with this weird stage of being super cheesy and gross and off-putting.” Like wow am I really that bitter? Apparently I am.
I need more time for me. And I’m gonna have to make that clear. I’m in no way ready for anything serious again. But I haven’t fully let go of Tristan and I can’t give any of myself to someone else if that task isn’t complete.
I hope all of this is making sense. I’m kind of just rambling to write, but at least I’m doing it. Maybe I’ll try to make a new blog after I post this. Or maybe I’ll just continue watching Bob’s Burgers. Who knows. Productivity and I aren’t the best of friends, you know.
