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All of my heart for all of my life.

Today the earth brought me back to a place I haven't been in a long time. My yoga mat. It wasn't in a fancy studio, on a far away cliff or in the middle of my favorite park like it has been before. It was on a beat up, ugly, black, uncool yoga mat in my living room with Spotify on, a sleeping baby, a loud toddler and a husband that laughed at the sight of me on his way out the door. As I sat with my head on the ground and asked my heart and mind to quiet enough for me to set an intention befor my practice, I was rushed with all the things I was asking to quiet. Thought. Emotion. Warmth. Goosebumps. I momentarily considered throwing in the towel right then. "I can't do this." I thought. "I'm not in a place to quiet my brain. To shut off thoughts. Or slow down. Or open up. Or whatever I'm supposed to be doing. I'm not there." And the truth is, I'm not. I didn't walk away though. I struggled through the first couple minutes of heavy, quick sandy, thoughts and poses. With the day at my feet and my palms to the ground I didn't set an intention; I was one. A culmination of every intention I have ever set before today. Every class. Every breath. Every pose. Every sticky, sour, sweet, struggling second and I don't just mean in yoga. All the times I set my intention SO clearly before today, it was to be closer to this. So here I am, an hour behind, realizing that the balloons I hung for a birthday party two weeks ago are losing air but I'm glad they are still lazily hanging from my view because this is so clearly where I am. Living in the sweet shadows of all the intentions that I set days, weeks, months and years ago and then left in a yoga studio or in a suit case or in the back of my head to grow and harvest. My life is a yoga mat I suppose and these creatures I'm raising and loving are better teachers than any instructor I could find in a studio. My intention was to complete 45 full minutes of yoga in peace today but I'm seeing that sometimes peace doesn't always mean quiet and I'm #lucky for that. This might be my favorite new studio even though one of the teachers cut class short from her crib across the house; I'll be back real soon. Mamastè 💋👦🏻👧🏼👶🏼🙋🏼

#lucky