@taunis - Tumblr Blog

August Lanin “The Beach”. 1960 Август Ланин «Пляж». 1960

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#i broke up with my boyfriend of 3+ years #i feel broken and numb but also feels like a weight off my shoulders #it hasnt really hit me yet tho

s-ofthearted

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fodiei

holly-warbs

swim

genuine question: how do you explain feminism/independence/etc to south Asian parents who are so stuck in the mind-set that you need a man’s permission to do anything and everything? and that girls are below men and can’t do anything on there own etc. (I guess, how do you make them understand?)

I will be graduating in a few months and got a full time job offer close to home, so I will be living at home. My parents have done SO MUCH for us, so I obviously want to give back to them. They’ve asked me to take over some financial responsibilities etc since I’m gonna be making a pretty decent amount of money. I have no idea how I’m going to live in this house after having lived away from home for the last 1.5 years.

I was hoping that my new form of ‘independence’ aka my job would give me some leniency in regards to my parents, but it hasn’t. I realize parents will always see their children as being little/young, but when will they realize that I am/will be fine? I want to respect my parents rules, since I am living in their house (I’m even scared to break some rules compared to my younger sister, who lives at home). But they have absolutely the narrowest mindset and I don’t know how to help them understand/change.

I was telling my mom I want to eventually move out - which she was completely opposed to bc “why would you move to your own apartment when your job is so close to home?” ...(okay makes sense, but I didn’t even apply to any jobs away from home bc they were giving me so much pressure to stay home, so that I could help them financially. my mom always says she would’ve “let me” go away if I got a better/well paying job, but I know she wouldn’t have been okay with it). She made a comment which upset me, she said “okay wait till you get married and we’ll let you move” (again with the “let you” - as in they control what I can/can’t do). I was pretty angry about this comment at first and snapped at her (which is my fault), but then I was trying to explain to her why that comment made me upset.

I was telling her that as a mother and a woman, she should be telling me to go be independent and make a lot of money, travel here, do this, do that and pushing me to do great things for myself. Especially as a woman who has gone through so much. Our household is very patriarchal, my mother would never do anything without my dad’s permission etc. But she was not understanding it, I was really really trying to be calm and explain to her. This was her response:

“I don’t need your explanation, I don’t want to hear it. This is not how I grew up, I’m not educated and you think you’re so much better than me because you got an education. You think you’re so high and mighty because you got this new job. Do you think we’re a burden because we’re asking you to pay for things? then don’t” and she was crying. I didn’t know what to say at that point, so I just left and now I’m in my room but this is just a small example of how my parents (mom specifically in this situation) thinks.