blake kathryn
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Peter Solarz
oozey mess
tannertan36
almost home
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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Acquired Stardust
hello vonnie
JBB: An Artblog!
ellievsbear
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
h
Discoholic 🪩
Andulka
taylor price
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@tazficrecs
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Do you remember that Aussie sword guy who used to talk about medieval weapons?
And, like, he seemed pretty good at talking about swords and shit. He seemed to have a good grasp of the history and tactics. He'd analyze movie weapons for their realism and that was fun. He did demonstrations with real weapons. For a time I really looked forward to his videos popping up in my feed.
He seemed like a harmless sword-fighting aficionado.
But then I guess he wanted to spread his wings. So he started down an anti-woke path. Giving questionable critiques about media and feminism. He started defending boob armor by showing historical examples even though most of those were decorative and not battle ready like in the games.
Then he admitted he was a fan of The Daily Wire.
And that was disappointing.
I missed him nerding out about swords, ya know?
Well, Shad decided to spread his wings again.
He has become...
*bad French accent* An artiste.
You see, he types words into a little box. Then a little robot does a google image search and steals a bunch of art. Then that robot reconfigures that art to be nearly indistinguishable from the source material. Well... aside from the occasional artist watermark.
Whoops!
A.I. art is very difficult. Sometimes when you type words into the box you get a woman with 5 lopsided anime tiddies. Or 20 fingers on one hand. It takes time and effort and experience to type in the perfect magic words so that you get something close to your imagination that doesn't belong in some sort of Lovecraftian horror ripoff.
For example, check out this cool "pirate hat" I asked A.I. to place on my head.
Clearly, I am not skilled enough at typing words into a box to get a proper pirate hat.
It. Is. Not. Easy.
I heard someone say you have to type things in a box for 10,000 hours before you start getting truly masterful generations.
I mean, you can't type "marathon runners" and expect that to actually work.
THIS REQUIRES SKILL, PEOPLE.
And I am a lowly amateur. I can only dream of becoming the box-typist Shad has honed himself into.
The thing is... Shad is very upset.
He is upset that you don't like his "art" and he is ready to die on this hill.
So... before he croaks on a mound of bullshit, he has something to show you. He has created something truly brilliant and when you see it, he is convinced you will validate his considerable efforts.
Before I show you his "Not. Easy." artistic masterpiece I'd like you to sit with what he has said for a second.
Ruminate in the verbiage.
Process the ideas and points of view presented.
Digest his plea for you to accept and love his hard won battle after typing words into a box to manifest his imaginings.
.
.
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.
.
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.
.
Have you sat?
Ruminated?
Processed?
Digested?
Okay, here it is...
I'm not sure I digested this well.
I've never played a more perfect card in the 10 years I've been playing this game
The Director leans forward over her desk, her face drawn and intent. “So I suppose you’re wondering why I called you three in h–”
“Actually, Madam Director,” Taako interrupts, “I’m wondering how you got this lavender tea so right.”
The Director blinks. “I simmer the lavender blossoms in a saucepan with water and honey, because I’m not a fucking barbarian. Twenty minutes, dash of vanilla, the whole thing. Anyway–”
“It’s good tea,” Merle pipes up.
“Thanks, Merle. So–”
“Hold up, hold up. Holllld up.” Taako actually raises his hand. “How– okay, I mean, what the hell, that’s exactly how I make lavender tea, how’d you know?”
“I know everything, I’m the Director.”
“Are you spying on us?” Magnus says, suddenly interested.
“I can, uh, no, I can’t confirm that, or, deny, that horrific breach of employer-employee confidentiality. I probably just know that stuff because of all the cool superpowers you get when you’re in charge of a secret moon-based operation.”
Merle waves his hand enthusiastically. “Hey, what’s tattooed on my butt!”
“Kenny Chesney, which I know on account of you came into my actual office with your whole entire ass hanging out.”
“It was like three quarters, max,” Magnus says. “Hey, what’s my favorite tea?”
“You think tea is for chumps.”
“I do,” Magnus says, earnestly pleased.
“Does anyone have any non-tea related questions?”
Merle waves his hand again. “Do you know about our secret st—“
“Taped under Magnus’s bed. Yes.”
“Aw,” Magnus says to his tea.
“For someone with such extensive woodworking proficiency, I really thought you’d have, like, a secret drawer somewhere,” the Director says thoughtfully.
“Hey, taped under the mattress is a classic,” Taako says.
“It’s very, mm, very college hijinks, reminiscent, very Animal House.”
“Bullshit, you never watched Animal House,” Merle says.
“I may— I might have. You don’t know.”
“Name one— name one scene! Just one! Gimme a quote!”
“I don’t have to, because I’m your boss. Can I get back to telling you about your new incredibly important mission to save the whole— basically the whole entire world, already, or do you want to waste more time playing Fantasy fucking Trivia?”
The three Reclaimers look at each other, and then Taako uses mage hand to pour himself more lavender tea.
“What’s Merle’s favorite tea?” he asks, grinning, and the Director drops her face into her hands.
“Chamomile,” she says, in the grave, sorrowing tones of one who must bear the unbearable, year after thankless fucking year. “He thinks it’s sexy.”
Garfield the deals warlock: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “voidfish ichor” 😳💊 you’ll be knowing what they don’t want you to know 💯👨💻
Tres horny boys: yeah whatever. i don’t feel shit.
5 minutes later: dude we gotta stop the hunger from eating the universe
The red robe hovering ominously in the corner: Lucretia is lying to you
the wizards pondering their orb or whatever i didn't watch the adventure zone
ID: First image is digital art of the IPRE crew gathered around the Light of Creation, a pale blue ball of light, currently resting on a table. They are all dressed in red robes and appear to be having an intense discussion. On the far left is Lucretia, a human woman with short, curly hair. She is holding a book in one hand and pointing at the light with a pencil. On her right is Davenport, a gnomish man with neat looking hair and mustache. He is leaning one elbow on the table and resting his other hand on his hip. On Lucretia's left is Lup, an elven woman with shoulder-length curly hair, slight build, and freckles. She in angrily thowing her hands up in the air. To Lup's left is Magnus, a human man with short hair, muscular build, and thick sideburns. He is leaning on the back of a chair and is starin at the light of creation with the only bored expression in the group. Next to Magnus is Barry, another human man with a chubby build, short hair, and glasses. He is vaguely gesturing with open palms. Next to him is Taako, an elven man with long, curly hair, a slight build, and freckls. He is rubbing his forehead with a hand. Next to Taako is Merle, an older dwarvish man with a beard and a receding hairline. He is gesturing one hand at the light. The second image is a close up of Magnus with everyone around him blurred out. A caption pointing to him reads, "zoned out 20 minutes ago." End ID
yall, beauty and the beast AU where Merle finds himself trapped in a creepy castle inhabited by Final John (who, once Merle breaks the curse with his love, turns into regular John)
I can’t stop thinking about this sdgsdgfdsgfd
it’s all downhill from here
original post / part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7
bonus:
Hey what’s up I made a Beacon prop for my Duck Newton costume
if there were six of the seven birds on the moon and one of them erased the other’s memories with a voidfish would that be fucked up or what?
*lucretia voice* taako ive said that im sorry
i haven’t ever taken my own advice on this so don’t @ me but i think the best way to write the raven queen “in-character” is to just make her sound exactly like griffin mcelroy. like she’s never gotten a scene “on-camera” so to speak but i just think that if u write her the way u think griffin would play her… then that’s the best possible goddess of death
like
trq: kravitz.
kravitz: you called for me, my lady?
trq: you met with the wizard?
kravitz: i - i did.
trq: and how did it go?
kravitz: he made a very… interesting case, my lady. he believes that the people have of refuge have been punished enough, and -
trq: kravitz.
kravitz: i - yeah? [clears throat] yeah?
trq: how did it go? i see you made a vase. did he do the thing from ghost? from fantasy ghost?
kravitz: well - i mean -
trq: kraaavitz. don’t lie to me, kravitz. i am your queen. did he do the thing from ghost?
kravitz: … yeah. yeah. [mumbling] he said he liked my skeleton.
trq: it’s a nice skeleton! good bones. good bones for a - for a good boy. very sturdy.
kravitz: thank you, my lady.
this post is only funny if you imagine them both with griffin’s voice
“Okay, fuck, marry, kill: Avi, the Director, and, uh,” Taako says, “the red robe!”
He’s lying on Lup’s bed, his head hanging off the side and his feet up against the wall. She’s sat on the floor next to the bed, clutching the bottle of wine they’ve been working their way through.
Lup thinks for a moment and says, “kill… Avi.”
Keep reading
i was drawing some pride headcanons for the thundermen but then. i got distracted drawing these. also i didn’t like my firbolg design so i decided to give him 300% more hair and i don’t regret it.
@collaberal-damage
She's hiding a gay flag under her bi flag
Magic!
