WORK.IN.g PRO.gress @tbuscuit-esq - Tumblr Blog

Who gives a fuck about what europeans think about us?? “Oh brazilians dancing is disrespectful” bitch WHO are you? We all know you gringos lack passion and rhythm but that’s a YOU problem

And last but not least, mama aqui glub glub

Me wondering where I can go vent besides Twitter. Then oh yeah “hey tumblr”

tiktoks-for-dead-pope

amyygdalaaa

omg you do not understand how rare it is to see queer desi weddings this is beautiful

Let's be friends in Pokémon GO! My Trainer Code is 3853 5843 5187!

ashiftingmentalmenagerie

Hi, I saw your post about just being diagnosed with Aspergers ... I think I have it too, and I'm kind of terrified. But I just really wanted to ask: what prompted you to get diagnosed? How does it show up in you? I know Aspergers presents differently in females from males, and I'd just like to know how it affects you. Sorry, I know it's kind of personal, but it's something that I can't stop thinking about ...

Hello nonny :)

Firstly I want to say I empathize (a most common misconception of people on the spectrum is that we lack empathy - which is entirely untrue) a great deal with feeling terrified, I know some people have compared being diagnosed with ASD (autism spectrum disorder, aspergers) - especially as adults - as being like going through the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance), which warrants some merit and can apply to being diagnosed with anything major and life-changing. Letting go of who you thought you were and embracing who you are.

Anyway, I just want to let you know you’re not alone in your fear and I hope in some way I’m able to give you some insight.

Secondly, I’m going to tackle your first question. I won’t bore you with my childhood history, but needless to say outside and inside forces in my life instigated a sort of mental/emotional downhill for me beginning around the age of 8. Eventually I appeared to have developed Depression, which went untreated for a while for many reasons, however within the last year/two it got to a point in which it could no longer be ignored. I went to the doctor, got referred to a Councillor and eventually a Psychiatrist. The process was long, but eventually he diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (more specifically, aspergers) and Generalized Anxiety Disorder with Depression and Dermatillomania.

It is extremely common for people who are eventually diagnosed with ASD - especially those with Aspergers, to get treatment and help for something else, especially a mood disorder, and end up being diagnosed with ASD - typically once everything else has been ruled out. People on the spectrum are more prone to develop co-morbid disorders like Depression, especially when you go un-diagnosed into adulthood.

As for how it shows up in me, I will preface that by saying that Autism is referred to as a spectrum for a reason; no two cases are the same. Though there are commonalities, no two people exhibit symptoms the same way. Everyone is different. People on the spectrum fundamentally have a brain that works differently than people who don’t have some form of Autism.

Here are the ways in which my Autism/Aspergers predominantly shows in me:

Repetitive movement/stimming (flapping hands, restless leg, randomly tapping my face/body or twisting my hair, rocking, bouncing)

Repetitive behaviour/routine (this is a BIG one for me, I like to do many of the same things the same way over and over again, what food I make, how I make it, the activities I do, I have to know whats going to happen and when and how it’ll happen, I’ll watch the same shows/movies over and over again, read the same stories/books, and I hate/get panicky whenever my routine is abruptly changed in some way, I hate being interrupted)

Difficulty maintaining/making eye contact

Both Hypersensitive and Hyposensitive (For the former: certain sounds bother me to the point where I’ll feel like I’m in pain and will explode in irritation and anger if they don’t stop immediately, vaccum cleaners high pitched dog barking the vague buzzing of certain electronics etc, I don’t like to be touched in any way, those are a few examples, for the latter: I’ll often forget to eat, not because I’m not hungry but because I just…don’t notice I need to, hygienically I don’t always notice when I need to bath, I am hypersensitive to hot but hyposensitive to cold - I can tolerate very low temperatures without it distressing me greatly)

I am very, extremely dedicated to a limited number of interests to the point where I will become entirely absorbed in them to the exclusion of all else, I am obsessive and will hyperfocus on what I’m doing. I like to know everything about my area of interest, often I’ll hold that interest for a while but sometimes I’ll jump from one to another frequently. Often the interests are considered weird or odd by a lot of people.

I have difficulty communicating socially: Personally I am very introverted, insular, I feel anxious out in crowds, I don’t like talking to strangers or on the phone if I can avoid it, I often don’t get the subtleties of tone/facial expression (mostly with people I don’t know, if I know someone really well I learn their personal cues over time), I have very few friends (which I am fine with), I have to try very hard to remain focused on someone I’m talking to but if something hits on a topic of interest however I can go on and on and talk really fast when I do and I generally won’t notice if someone grows disinterested in what I’m saying, I have a lot of anxiety and much of that stems from not knowing/not being comfortable with what is considered “normal” social interaction

I am very easily overwhelmed, emotionally, physically, mentally

I have difficulty regulating my emotions: this is largely related to the point above, often people will see closed off, even perceived cold behaviour by those on the spectrum and assume this is because they lack empathy or don’t feel as much. This couldn’t be further from the truth. We feel, we feel intensely, deeply, we feel so much that we have develop defensive mechanisms to protect ourselves from becoming overwhelmed. This is why those on the spectrum - including my self - are easily overwhelmed, we are unable to control our emotions and how we express them the same way those not on the spectrum do. I have a lot of empathy, but my difficulty in reading people can make it seem like I don’t. I feel it, I just don’t always express it where seemingly appropriate or in the same way other people do.

I will have intense meltdowns (mine generally consist of crying, angry loud groaning, frantic pacing, hitting/hurting myself and things) usually triggered by intense emotion, something not going the way its supposed to in my mind or loud noises that don’t stop, for me these (the big, big meltdowns) are few and far between (mainly because my environment is often well suited to my needs)

I have poor short term memory, but great long term memory

I daydream, zone out/detach a lot, when I’m in a conversation or alone

Honestly, there are so many more and those are just the big ones for me that I can think of at the moment. As I said before, everyone is different. I have been labelled as being on the more high-functioning end of the spectrum, I’m learning to scrape by and live a world that so often feels foreign and strange to me. I’m pretty sure I’m only being diagnosed now because when I was younger I unknowingly developed coping mechanisms that masked by ASD (this is quite common), but outside forces happened, trauma and such, and I started to breakdown to the point where I couldn’t cope the same way anymore - which made my difficulties more apparent once I seriously started to get treatment initially for Depression.

I know that was a lot, and I hope in some way it helped, if you’re honestly feeling that Aspergers is resonating with you than read more about it, talk to someone if you can. I know it’s hard, and it will require courage, however, in my opinion, no matter how hard and terrifying it is, knowing without a doubt what is going on is much better than living in a state of maybe limbo. Much of the world and society may be narrow-minded, filled with ideas of stereotypes and not understanding, but there are those who aren’t and so many resources for people who need help in learning to cope and manage with their lives. I may be new to this too not unlike yourself but feel free to message me any time nonny. ASD or not, I am willing to listen and will respond if you have any more questions.

No matter what, remember this unequivocal truth: different, not less.

witchesversuspatriarchy

A ballerina and a witch

paperstorm

Australian comedian Jim Jefferies points out the ridiculousness of American pro-gun arguments. x x

ainawgsd

Owls are masters of disguise, blending seamlessly into their surroundings.

motivatedslacker

These trees appear to be judging me.

rainbow-unicorn-monkeyballs-pt2

There’s no owl in that 6th pic

queerkittyy

sneaky

mopeylopey1

a process of events

lynati

and there’s two in the fourth image.

maggiefromspace

THERE’S TWO IN THE FOURTH IMAGE

luffik

omg there’s two in the fourth image

whitepeopletwitter

devine-warfare

The Federal Gov’t supplied the North and the South during the Civil War and you still think it’s about slavery?

tbuscuit-esq

Why must people be this phucking stupid.

The south seceded, created its own Capital and President.

What “federal gov’t” are you talking about? What did they supply?

muppethole-deactivated20240312

clockwork-hobbit

It's a fantastic point, but John Boyega's net worth also puts him at $6 million. When he says eat the rich, he isn't safe either...

neon-classical

There’s a pretty big fucking difference between six million and one trillion lmao

Not to mention the way the money was made

An actor being paid for a role / doing some advertising is a world away form a man setting up a cooperate money machine that horrendously exploits workers

dr-dendritic-trees

This is something I hate SO MUCH about how tumblr talks about money.

Like, I get that famous actors have large amounts of money, some of them are even probably overpaid (I have complicated thoughts about how actors are paid because of the nature of acting as a career), but they are exchanging labor for money, and their salaries are an expense involved in making a movie.

But like... an actor is paid for a job. They’re a worker like the rest of us. Bezos isn’t paid for a job, he’s paid for being the person who owns Amazon and despite being obscenely wealthy, he does all sorts of shitty things and to underpay and exploit his workers, and avoid paying taxes, so that more of the money Amazon generates will be profit (worker’s salaries are not profit, they’re a business expense).

These two mechanisms of acquiring money are fundamentally very different.

The reason why billionaires are evil aren’t because having money is bad, its because to get a billion dollars you have to cheat. You have to take it from someone else. If Bezos paid all his workers and suppliers fairly and treated them well, and paid his fair amount of taxes, and etc, then it literally wouldn’t matter how much money he earned, because he wouldn’t be doing anyone any harm. But its not actually possible to amass a billion dollars (a full order of magnitude bigger than a million) while behaving in an ethical manner.