Third culture kids

Let's share our experiences

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Photo by Filip L Firlej

TCK living in London, 31 years old.

Born in London, lived in Kuwait, Oman, Poland, Hong Kong, Bangkok,  Paris

"The initial shift happened when we were in Hong Kong- you just carry on with your parents. They told me 'you’re leaving school tomorrow and we are leaving to Bangkok' -  I didn’t even know where it was – my mum then made me write a letter to my friend Sean about me having to move. It actually ended up being my most formative period of my life."

  "I refuse to answer the question where i'm from with a nationality. I've stopped giving my back story to someone. You work out that people are not interested where you consider yourself from – they are interested in projecting their own understanding of the world onto you. I don’t consider myself from anywhere, I’m without a nationality. Part of an international community. The idea of no borders, no flag no nation."

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Marianna is a TCK living in London for the past 5 years now, she previously lived in the Italy and the U.S. She holds a French and American passport.

"Feeling uncomfortable about the idea of home is something that comes up all the time or asking where you’re from and I don’t know where to say and people say why don’t you just say London, but I mean it’s not really because there’s so many things that are not part of me – like English culture. so people often don’t understand that"

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Salwa is 21 years old and is a TCK also living in London

Passport: Moroccan. She has lived in The U.S, Morocco and the UK.

"I think i identify myself a lot with American and British culture – my Moroccan culture is very secondary – I have an affection towards it- I can understand and can appreciate it but when I sit down with them in Morocco I feel a lot more disconnected than when im here with English people"

"London- in London it's so easy not to fit in to any one category – no one is categorisable – so many people have been on so many journeys – and its a really transit place and where people find each other- London sucks people in."

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Melissa is another TCK whom I interviewed. She is a 3x Passport Holder: Peruvian, Italian and American.She has lived in Florida, North Carolina, Mexico, Peru, Oregon, Texas, Florida, and is currently based in London.

“When you live in so many places, home stops being a place but a feeling. Rather than saying, ‘I’m home,’ it’s more of a, ‘I feel home.’ A comforting sense that you actually belong and everything is okay in the world because in that moment, you feel satisfied and not so anxious. In comparison, chameleons change color in order to adapt to their enviroment but more frequently when they are faced with the adrenaline that comes with ‘fight or flight’ as they are being pursued by a predator. In my case, that adrenaline feeling is known as anxiety, and my identity doesn’t change but it adapts.” – Melissa Woodman

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The End of Belonging: Untold stories of leaving home and the psychology of global relocation. Do we really know what we're doing when we leave our home to live in a foreign culture? Why do some of us keep leaving?

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The TCK Project

Interview questions for Tcks like myself living in London:

Age: Nationality: Age first moved abroad and where: Parent’s career: Current city you live: Mother tongue: Further languages: Where do family members live: siblings:

1) do you feel that you belong to a special culture? A culture of those who are very mobile?

2) How was your first move? Did you feel part of your new host culture? if yes, did it take you a long time you feel that you belonged in the place that you moved to? What helped you gain this sense that you belonged?

3) Do you visit the country you were born? Do you have family and friends there? When you visit do you feel that you belong and why? or why not?

4) Do you have friends with whom it is particularly easy to share your life experience? or do you find yourself in a group of people and feel that they do not necessarily understand you?

5) how often do you travel to your passport country?

6) Today, would you say you belong to a certain place? Do you see yourself living in this place in the long run?

7) Do you think your experience is quite unique? or do you thinking it is becoming increasingly normal? and if so, why?

8) what does the term ‘home’ mean for you?

9) What is it about London that does/does not make you feel comfortable here? Do you have any particular places where you feel at home? How long have you live here?

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How do you guys define home?

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“How do we… perceive the world? Obviously from our five senses. How do we have a sense of self? Well it’s unconscious, we simply see the world as ourselves. But if you think for a moment you realize that your sense of self comes from how you orient yourself and perceive [the world] based on your five senses…."

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Very useful website and articles for kids like us!

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“The trouble with moving around and falling in love with new places, is that you leave a piece of your heart in each of them.”