we're shitty people

[tcssisms-blog]

wasntpoetic;

            “I was born in the middle of it, a couple years after the infection ruined the world. –uh, my mom died a couple days after she had me. Marlene said it was cause they didn’t have the food rations they needed or some bullshit reason like that. so as soon as I became lil’ orphan Ellie I was dropped off at some Military training base. where I’d become one of the new city guards. or go out and risk my life for a couple food ration cards a day. It didn’t really MATTER because as soon as I turned eighteen I planned on leaving. It’s where I met Riley, she was my best friend, but left to become one of the Firefly’s so I didn’t see her much. ” she caught herself rambling and decided that was enough information on her sob story life that she had GIFTED the other with. she knew that she was rambling but it was just a factor that once she started going it was hard to stop. 

            she moved over the rocks in front of her, arms SPREAD out so she could balance the small weight she had out. one wrong move and shed create enough noise to draw any infected nearby. “ so you could say life sucked, but I know how to shoot a gun and choke hold someone so that has to count for something right? ”

                 as tess listened to her story, she couldn't help but allow herself to feel some kind of SYMPATHY for the girl. she’d been through a lot in such a small amount of time. anyone at her age had now, it was just the way things were. but to lose a mother, when CONNECTIONS were all that was left in the world, it wasn’t something that bare thinking about. but tess couldn't stop her train of thought as she thought back to her parents. it had been a long time since she’d thought of them, not that they were ever as present as she imagined ellie’s mother to be while she still REMAINED living. tess had never felt much of anything other than animosity before the world fell apart; her world simply felt broken already. there was grief, everyone felt it to some capacity, but she spent so long trying to be somewhat of a mother to her younger brother that she didn’t have the chance to grieve. then he was gone, suddenly she was alone and all that time she spent actually wanting to grieve had almost vanished. simply put, she just got on with it. never looked back. and that’s when she met joel and she didn’t need to put on a BRAVE face any more just to get through, because they had each other.

                it was funny to her that whenever someone told their story, it had some sort of effect to FORCE you to delve into your own, ( whether you wanted to or not ). so she thought of her parents for a short time and when that was over she pushed them away again, watched the MEMORIES fall because they were worthless to her now. not much had changed with that.  ‘ military base is rough. ‘  rough place to start out, tess thought.  ‘ i’d want to leave too. ‘  tess managed a smile, but it wasn’t of joy, there was a certain DISTINCT look of distant pain beneath it. she wasn’t one for a lot of words when conversations turned sentimental, but she managed what she could.  ‘ being able to do all that definitely counts for something. it’s the only skill that’s gonna keep you alive. ‘

[tcssisms-blog]

nohaircuts;

                        “give me ONE reason why should i trust you. “ he didn’t know just who she was, she could’ve been aligned with anyone. that wasn’t something that he wanted to deal with. he couldn’t take them outside to take what his people had EARNED “we’re running low on medical supplies. medical supplies. i was SUPPOSED to be meeting someone here” but he’d ran when the military showed up. the man had took what he’d offered and not given him ANYTHING back. it was stupid, and he had to go back with nothing. that’s why he’d been around, that’s why he’d been looking. there was people that NEEDED it, and he’d messed it up. ron folded his arms tightly across his chest in defiance.

                     rick would understand him bringing someone back. ‘ a sewer tunnel. it’s broken on one side. from there, it’s 2 days horse travel. ‘ he HOPED maggie and the horses were still outside. they should’ve been. he rubbed his hands together slightly “—do you know a guy called BILL? he knows people in here.”

                  ‘ i couldn't even give you one reason, kid. ‘  didn’t he know that you couldn't trust anyone now? surely he’d seen it. there was no use in LYING and trying to earn his trust. it seemed more trouble than it was worth to tess. however, the mention of bill took her off guard. bill wasn’t exactly the friendliest of guys and living on the outside meant p a r a n o i a set in stronger than ever before. he didn’t play well with others and so having any other connections other than her and joel was a surprise. you’d have thought the son of a bitch would have mentioned something as IMPORTANT as that.

                 she thought about her answer carefully, all the while STARING at the boy and aware of her surroundings — too much time spent out here could do them both trouble. she knew that it’d probably be best to ask joel for help this time, but STUBBORN as tess was, she refused to bring him in on this unless she had to.  ‘ bill, huh? what do you know of him? ‘

[madebrutal-deactivated20160503]

meta about joel/tess

                    there’s one poem by lostcap that i always relate to joel/tess.  it’s  ‘ for all the universes there are, this one was not enough.  not for now, not for us.  somewhere in another, though, we are softer, we are kinder.  to our skin, to eachother.  in that there that isn’t here, i allow myself to love you.  ‘

              the thing about joel & tess is  ;  they’ve both done horrible, terrible things just to stay alive.  only this was never their normal.  they were both adults when the cordyceps outbreak began, they knew what life was like before.  what it was like to be happy & carefree.  they had families & friends & they never had to worry about how they were going to survive.  they knew how to live without fear & having to kill. & suddenly that was gone, everything they ever knew & loved taken from them   —–  their families, their morals, their hopes, their dreams. gone.

                 now with joel, tess was there when he lost tommy   —–  his only coping device after losing sarah, the only family he had left & person he had to fight for.  someone he’d tried so hard to protect who then inexplicably hated him, who never wanted to see him again.  it cut deep, a wound that he allowed to fester & scar.  he had nothing & then he had tess & that was everything to him.  with tess he never had to be ashamed of the things he’d done, she didn’t look down on him or fear him & he got lost in the idea that ‘ hey, maybe i’m not that bad of a person ‘ 

               she was something akin an anchor to him, she helped keep nightmares at bay, she gave him a purpose & a reason to wake up every morning.  she’s the only person he would ever allow to tell him what to do & she kept him in line. he even held a kind of cautious optimism that maybe one day they could settle down & have some sort of peaceful life.  but if ever he loved her  ( & i believe he did because otherwise he wouldn’t have taken ellie, ) he never once mentioned it & neither did she.  because they’re cynical & he was afraid. & accepting that love & opening himself up to it meant only putting himself at risk of losing it, of losing her. 

            tl;dr joel did love tess, he did, & he was absolutely devoted to her.  their timing was just off & this world wasn’t soft enough for them to be given the luxury of want & love. & i think he’ll always regret not having said how he felt or how thankful he is that she saved his life & saved him from himself.  

SEND ME A TOPIC TO WRITE A META ON.

[tcssisms-blog]

                                   ’ We’re shitty people, it’s been that way for a long time. ‘

[lovemakesyouwonder]

[crazynightsandlife]

[calliequinn]

[wordsnquotes]

You never need to apologize for how you chose to survive.

Clementine von Radics, “You Have Six Tattoos” Mouthful of Forevers  (via wordsnquotes)

[tcssisms-blog]

me: *does one reply*

me: ahhh, productivity.

[tcssisms-blog]

madebrutal;

                      ❛  you good?  ❜ callous touch as gentle as he can manage.  this epoch to belie  //  a monster silenced.  torn open & damask, he unfurls ‘neath the weight of normalcy  (  ardent survivor of this pyrric war, anchored winter’s decay.  scarred mien unsettled in this halted entropy  )  —————  AUTUMNAL DECAY;  the taste of rot nestled ‘pon the inside of his cheek, intoxicating & devouring.  his aura is rorulant, adust with apathy.  ❛  i don’t gotta worry about some asshole jeopardising our business? ❜

@tcssisms

                  ‘ you ever worried ‘bout that with me around? ‘ a smirk crossed tess’ lips as she reluctantly walked away from joel’s gentle, GRAZING touch. it was a comfort that she couldn't allow herself to fall into, not entirely. he pulled her in, perhaps unintentionally, and her mind CLAWED at him — at herself to push away. they took it in turns with that, now it was her turn. she walked a few footsteps away, a heavy breath leaving her lungs in annoyance as she turned back to face him, hands out at her side as if to say: WHAT DO YOU THINK?  ‘ yeah, i’m good. ‘  she settled on, turning back around, pacing a little.

[gutspilt]

                                        HAPPY LEAP YEAR !                                  PS. HARMO HAS 550 FOLLOWERS.

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[tcssisms-blog]

lastmonroe;

                     ‘ they’re stupid. they’ll leave eventually. we just have t’stay QUIET. ’  the confinement ensured their safety for the time-being: CAPTIVITY being the most promising approach to their survival. BLESS’D be their fibred beings for reaching their desired destination when’st the TIME was not on their side. a mere moment later, and they’d have been CLICKER food, for sure.

                              ‘ when the fuck did they decide they wanted to CLICK anyway ?? ’

                    ‘ they’re stupid but they still have instincts. it’ll take a lot to draw them away. ‘  she was thinking about throwing him out on his ass and making a break for it herself. and if it wasn’t for the fact that she’d developed a FONDNESS to him, maybe she would have done. attachment or not, if he got her into any more trouble, she’d leave him to those damn clickers herself.  ‘ i don’t know. ‘  she sighed, GLARING at him.  ‘ but it’s how they pick up on us — i thought you knew this stuff? ‘

[tcssisms-blog]

reliquiaex;

Scoffing some at her response, Joel shook his head, reaching up to run his hand down his face.”This ain’t funny.” He replied, cutting her a bit of a look. Staring at her or a moment, he shook his head and walked over, making her look up once he was close enough. 

“….Doesn’t look too bad”He mumbled, reaching to wipe blood away from her cheek. Sighing heavily, he met her gaze. “…I know it had to be done. All I’m askin’ is for you to hang on  let me go with you. It only takes one slip up, and you’re gone. “ 

                  ‘ who said it was funny? ‘  her smirk grew wider as he walked over to her. she watched him walk with a tired gait, his STANCE exhausted at what seemed to be the situation but tess knew it to be more than that. tiredness like that clung in-between the gaps of bones and CRIPPLED you. it was a wonder either of them were still standing.

                  as the blood was wiped away from tess’ cheek, her eyes wandered towards his but never fully made contact. she NOTICED the care behind his words, like it wasn’t just a job to him, that he didn’t want her to get hurt. and part of her knew that was how it was but she never really knew what they were.  ‘ i don’t slip up, joel. i’m good. ‘  she was a little ANNOYED now and it was evident in her voice as she batted his hand away.  ‘ you've been out there on your own. you don’t see me whining. ‘

[bluesmemethings]

Death of a Bachelor starters

VICTORIOUS.

‘ tonight we are victorious. ’ ‘ all my friends were glorious. ’ ‘ let me be your killer king. ’ ‘ it hurts until it stops. ’ ‘ my touch is black and poisonous. ’ ‘ I know you need it. do you feel it ? ’ ‘ drink the water, drink the wine. ’ ‘ we gotta turn up the crazy. ’ ‘ I’m like a scarf trick, it’s all up the sleeve. ’ ‘ I taste like magic. ’ ‘ Throw the bait, catch the shark, bleed the water red. ’ ‘ 50 words for murder and I’m every one of them. ’

DON’T THREATEN ME WITH A GOOD TIME.

‘ it’s a hell of a feeling, though. ’ ‘ who are these people ? ’ ‘ I just woke up in my underwear. ’ ‘ I should probably introduce myself. ’ ‘ there’s no such thing as getting out of hand. ’ ‘ memories tend to just pop up. ’ ‘ don’t think I’ll ever get enough. ’ ‘ champagne, cocaine, gasoline– and most things in between. ’ ‘ I roam the city in a shopping cart. ’ ‘ this night is heating up. ’ ‘ raise hell and turn it up. ’ ‘ If you go out you might pass out in a drain pipe. ’ ‘ don’t threaten me with a good time. ’ ‘ what are these footprints? they don’t look very human-like. ’ ‘ Now I wish that I could find my clothes. ’ ‘ I wanna wake up, can’t even tell if this is a dream. ’ ‘ how did we end up in my neighbor’s pool ? ’

HALLELUJAH.

‘ A moment you’ll never remember, and a night you’ll never forget. ’ ‘ Show praise with your body. ’ ‘ Say your prayers. ’ ‘ My life started the day I got caught. ’ ‘ the time for being sad is  over. ’ ‘ you miss them like you miss no other. ’ ‘ being blue is better than being over it. ’ ‘ I was drunk and it didn’t mean a thing. ’ ‘ I love the things you hate about yourself. ’ ‘ just finished a daydream. ’ ‘ no one wants you when you have no heart. ’ ‘ I’m sitting pretty in my brand new scars. ’ ‘ You’ll never know if you don’t ever try again, so let’s try. ’

EMPEROR’S NEW CLOTHES.

‘ finders keepers, losers weepers. ’ ‘ welcome to the end of eras. ’ ‘ dress me up and watch me die. ’ ‘ if it feels good, tastes good, it must be mine. ’ ‘ you just might see a ghost tonight. ’ ‘ And if you don’t know, now you know. ’ ‘ I’m taking back the crown. ’ ‘ I’m all dressed up and naked. ’ ‘ I see what’s mine and take it. ’ ‘ so close, I can taste it. ’ ‘ I’m so much more than royal. ’ ‘ Heroes always get remembered, but you know legends never die. ’ ‘ welcome to my world of fun. ’

DEATH OF A BACHELOR.

‘ do I look lonely ? ’ ‘ people have told me I don’t look the same. ’ ‘ maybe I lost weight. ’ ‘ I’m playing hooky with the best of the best. ’ ‘ I’m walking the long road, watching the sky fall. ’ ‘ how could I ask for more ? ’ ‘ a lifetime of laughter and the expense of the death of a bachelor. ’ ‘ it feels like my heart is going to burst. ’ ‘ and when you think of me am I the best you’ve ever had ? ’ ‘ share one more drink with me, smile even though you’re sad. ’

CRAZY=GENIUS.

‘ you can set yourself on fire. ’ ‘ you dance on a tightrope of weird. ’ ‘ but when I wake up you’re so normal that you just disappear. ’ ‘ there’s no residue of a torturer inside of your eyes. ’ ‘ then I’m a fucking arsonist. ’ ‘ I’m a rocket scientist. ’ ‘ you can set yourself on fire, but you’re never gonna burn. ’ ‘ you’re never gonna learn. ’ ‘ Darlin’, you know how the wine plays tricks on my tongue. ’ ‘ other boys you may have dated serrated your heart with a slice. ’ ‘ the cut of your love never hurts. ’

LA DEVOTEE.

‘ you got two black eyes from loving too hard. ’ ‘ I wouldn’t change you. ’ ‘ I wouldn’t ever try to make you leave. ’ ‘ just another LA devotee. ’ ‘ I couldn’t change you. ’ ‘ I couldn’t ever make you see. ’

GOLDEN DAYS.

‘ I found a pile of Polaroids in the crates of a record shop. ’ ‘ boy, he was something debonair in 1979. ’ ‘ and she had Farrah Fawcett hair. ’ ‘ don’t you wonder when the light begins to fade ? ’ ‘ all the memories that we make will never change. ’ ‘ time can never break your heart, but it’ll take the pain away. ’ ‘ Right now our future’s certain. ’ ‘ I won’t let it fade away. ’

THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE DIRTY.

‘ truth is that it was always going to end. ’ ‘ if you wanna start a fight, you better throw the first punch. make it a good one. ’ ‘ And if you wanna make it through the night, you better say my name like the good, the bad and the dirty. ’ ‘ I know what it’s like to have to trade the ones that you love for the ones you hate. ’ ‘ don’t think I’ve ever used a day of my education. ’ ‘ there’s only two ways that these things can go. ’ ‘ how was I to know that all your friends won’t hold any grudges ? ’ ‘ I got the final judgement. ’ ‘ you’ve been gone so long, I forgot what you feel like. ’ ‘ but I’m not gonna think about that right now. ’ ‘ all our friends want us to fall in love. ’

HOUSE OF MEMORIES.

‘ the lonely moments just get lonelier, the longer you’re in love. ’ ‘ I don’t want to be afraid. ’ ‘ baby, we built this house on memories. ’ ‘ promise me a place in your house of memories. ’ ‘ I think of you from time to time, more than I thought I would. ’ ‘ you were just too kind. ’ ‘ I was too young to know. ’ ‘ that’s all that really matters. ’ ‘ I was a fool. ’ ‘ those thoughts of past lovers, they’ll always haunt me. ’ ‘ I wish I could believe you’d never wrong me. ’ ‘ will you remember me in the same way as I remember you ? ’

IMPOSSIBLE YEAR.

‘ there’s no sunshine. ’ ‘ all the guests at the party, they’re so insincere. ’ ‘ these nightmares always hang on past the dream. ’

[sgojosmom]

also if you’re cool with pre-established relationships/dynamics where we skip all the awkwardness of starting to roleplay with someone new and jump straight to plotting a little and tagging each other in stuff hmu