did log

personal blog-log for dissociative disorder. bits research and personal misadventures. mainly for personal keep, data log and self healing. if you find something that can help or relatable, we hope it helps! not accepting messages.

[tdidlog]

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[tdidlog]

too tired to keep this personal log updated but we gained a new member, a new kid.

dunno what to call them rn but we're calling them chibi for now. a literal kid, messy when talking. but for some reason have full memory access. perhaps they have been here for longer than we thought? we don't know tho. but they front a lot for some reason by sudden switches. tho then again we're all pretty drained these days. but chibi has been nice and agreeable anyway when we talk about the fronting, kinda cute. they just want to help and kinda try to defend us in some way too.

chibi is byelingual, barely able to say full sentence without braining too hard. very honest. nice kid overall even tho i worry for our system to work in public now.

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haven’t updated this blog-log in a while, but we kinda discovered a 3rd entity that might be responsible for the incident years ago with our [friends] too. they looks pretty blurry, like a shadowy figure, their mindset it’s pretty negative. don’t have a name so we just gonna call them “figure a” for now.

they’re very defensive, but i can clearly see they just wished for good things. but this is very difficult,... they’re pretty hard to control when they come out. and the worst part is, neither of us know how to “fight back” those negative thoughts when having conversation with them, because as much as we hate to say it, even i also agreed to some of these thoughts...

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working feels really weird rn because one of us would love to listen to music meanwhile the other can’t stand noises while working.

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tried to work things out, but things never really worked out. it kept spinning around and around.

starting to consider to make someone just do life and care about nothing else but get the job done. maybe that’d be better... or not

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we haven't done updates lately but it's somewhat harder to tell us apart as of late and i often forgotten the fact there are two of us until we do something or so and the other speaks something that voice different opinion.

on other note we got a part time job! at least that's good enough :)

[tdidlog]

x is lonely and anxious a lot these days. she's also not used to our new place yet. i am very comfortable instead. lately it's been hard to differ ourselves and we don't really think too hard about it, but now it's suddenly clear again because i forgot about "my" breakdown earlier ever happened- and immediately aware it was x not me.

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we're moving out soon and i am kinda excited. x is... still missing her friends

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i like my home, but x is not dealing well with being around here

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sajgoaskjsgalkjglskaj i was... trying to draw something and then we realized apparently my art style is closer to the one we did on years ago!! so i gave it a try and i somehow pullet my old artstyle right out of bat and remember the details on old oc and such... ;0;

we thought all these time our art don’t differ but... aaah

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we are moving out and the new place actually excites us!!

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i still have her. at least they’ll never leave. we’re stuck in one body after all.

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compared to her, i am a liar i guess.

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x is ENTP. ori is INxP.

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how did i live through all those?