The Diary of a Hopeless Romantic

[tdoahr]

Im a mess

I haven’t posted in a while, and I only do when I can’t contain my feelings.

I left my best friend for a cute girl. To all the people who aren’t cheaters but aren’t tempted I can’t promise you that it’s worth it.

I wake up every morning feeling emptier than the day before. Every day that goes past is another that I realize my crucial mistake.

A New Fling

Is almost never worth giving up something that you’ve worked for.

I lost my bestfriend, my SO, and my lover. I did all for the sake of sex with someone else. I’ve never felt this much guilt in my life and I don’t know how much longer I can bare the burden.

[tdoahr]

Another broken Sonnet

I believed that I am always correct.

Despite the pain I lunge forward while numb,

Hoping my mistakes are pricks on the thumb.

But they always hurt, I can’t see what’s next.

But I chose this, after everything Im wrong.

But I hurt you more than I wish to. Fuck.

My mind is goo. I can’t rely on luck,

Choose between the two. I’d rather be strong.

But I messed up, my morals are destroyed.

What we had can’t be replaced by a toy.

[tdoahr]

It's ironic. The same people who you once stopped from jumping off a bridge are often the ones who will push you over.

[tdoahr]

Its funny how time changes the taste of a name on your tongue

K.Tre

[tdoahr]

In 20 years from now, I want to be the hero that Gotham needs, not the hero that they deserve.

[tdoahr]

I used to spend my nights thinking about who you moved on to, what I did to push you away, when you stopped loving me, and why you left.  Now all I can do is just wonder where did you go?

K.tre

[tdoahr]

Love is like a flower. If you forget to water it for long enough It will eventually wither away.

[tdoahr]

I missed you today. I don’t know why.

A tribute

I missed you today. I don’t know why. It feels like its been ages since you last haunted the depths of my mind. I have long since put you behind me, focused only on moving myself forward as a better man. Your name no longer controls my soul; I am free. I don’t know why, but I missed you today.

I don’t know why, but I missed you a lot.

I missed the late nights we spent together; holding you in my arms. I missed scratching your back until you feel asleep. I missed the way your toes wiggle as you slept. I missed laying with our backs to the wall, talking about the meaningless and meaningful. I missed putting my head in your lap and laying there as you combed through my hair with your fingers. I missed the watching Netflix with you. I don’t even like watching Netflix, but it was with you. And for that I missed it. I missed the unshakable feeling in my gut that I used to get around you. It was a mixture of fear and confidence; a mixture of terror and tranquility. You were such a star around me, I felt that I could never be strong enough to pull you in. But at the same time, your presence made everything okay. I didn’t have to worry about anything, because you were there.God how I used to hate that feeling. I used to be so terrified to see you, because I knew how precious it was to find someone like you who is like me. I knew that I couldn’t keep you forever, and I didn't want to bother with someone that was going to fade away like the sun as it sets. But over time you proved me wrong, you stuck around longer than the average 3 week span of all my other previous flings. You proved you were more than that, more than just another fling. And I couldn’t even begin to explain to you why, but I missed that. Like to hell if I even know why, but I missed you today. I missed going out of my way to see you. I missed the fact that you were someone that I would do that for. I missed bringing you lunch, because I knew that you would like it. I missed bring you lunch, just so I could see you. I missed spending my 1 night a week off from work with you. Late me rephrase that; I missed giving up on the 1 night a week that I had to finally rest, just because I knew the joy that I would receive from just being around you would be more than enough to energize me for the next week. I missed calling out of work just to be with you. I missed waking up early in the morning with you wrapped in my arms, and realizing that there were more important things in my life right now than a dead end job serving old middle-class assholes.

I missed you today. I shouldn’t bother pondering why. I missed the work of art that you were. I missed seeing the person that was so perfectly imperfect, she was surreal. I miss your  eyes, your hair, your smile, your awkwardness your clumsiness, your innocence. As cheesy and basic as that all sounds, I miss all those things because they were yours. You owned them in a way that no one else could compete with. Your beauty wasn’t defined by your looks, but the way that you carried yourself, as if you didn't belong in the same room as anyone else. You reeked of someone who deserved their own spotlight, and maybe, you can understand why I missed you today.

I know I’m not supposed to miss you anymore. I know I am supposed to be over these nights of lingering love. I know that I’m not supposed to think of my past, and consciously move forward with my life. I know I’m supposed to moving on, the same way that you are. I know that I should be grateful for the good times that we had together, not envious of them. I know that I should just forget about these silly emotions and throw up a brick of wall of defense, so that way nothing may ever hurt me again. But I also know that all the nights I spent in a cross-faded haze trying to get you off my memory will never be enough to make me forget the feelings that you gave me to me. 

I missed you today. I don’t know why. But for the first time in a while, I felt alive.

[tdoahr]

I used to be quite the angry person Always very livid Until the day I woke up And since then my dreams have never been more vivid

K.Tre

[tdoahr]

A wandering soul is not complete until he finds the shoes that fit his feet

K.Tre

[tdoahr]

Untitled

I once met a blind man who could see the future. He told me, “If you continue to judge others, you will never be happy with yourself”

[tdoahr]

To do things in spite of logic, That is to truly love

K.Tre

[tdoahr]

Through strife, Strength is born

K.Tre

[tdoahr]

At night I lay awake Afraid that we made a mistake Afraid never again I will see your face Afraid someone may have taken my place

I can only sleep with you around

[tdoahr]

It wasn’t his fault. It was the way she looked at him. He didn’t want to fall in love again. He had been through it before. He had given someone his all, but time and time again, it was never enough. He didn’t want to have to go through that pain again. But her eyes, they captured him. They were beautiful. They were like 2 wildfires trapped within their own spheres. It was a look full of passion and lust; full of desire and trust. Her eyes spoke volumes. They said they needed him, that he was somebody important to her. And how could he not fall in love? He had spent his whole life waiting for someone to make him feel the way she did. A whole life of betrayal, lies, and promises never kept. After years of searching he finally found it, how could he not fall in love? For the first time in his memory, there was someone who thought he was important. Someone who wanted to be around him. He wasn’t just another empty shell of a person being used to fulfill someone else's wishes. He used to think that was what love was; unselfishly making sacrifices to see the smile on a cold face. In front of him stood another human being, who had been through what he had been through. In front of him stood another human being who needed him. She was someone who could make him laugh till his heart exploded from joy, or calm him until his pain had passed. But most importantly, she was someone who brought him peace. How could he not fall in love? But then, one day, those fires were extinguished. And just like everyone else, she left.

The madness of love

[tdoahr]

I am the lone hawk, soaring over the still sky. Forever Onward.

The Magic Behind the Madness

[tdoahr]

The heavens and the stars clashed together and created her eyes, a shade of green that is out of this world. Her smile was a gift bestowed upon mankind by the gods, a smile that spread as wide as the Earth itself.  Her laughter filled ears with songs of sweetness and innocence that graciously gave great happiness to all who heard it. She was the definition of strength, and not even she recognized it. On her best days she was a flame of joy; dancing wildly and warming the heart. On her worst days she was a warrior. Someone who had been through hell and was determined to keep going. I have learned so much from her. She has brought to me wisdom and joy that I had never found possible. And I loved her for it.

A wildfire of love