and now I'm melting from my wings
for the @tdpsecretexchange more specifically for @ameafifiust im so sorry for being terrible and posting this 4 days late i have no excuse i truly am terrible
She manages to sneak into his room in under 4 minutes and 32 seconds.
“That’s impossible,” Callum tells her as she struggles to pull her leg through the window frame. She wolfishly grins at him, all teeth and untamed hair and oh I missed you he thinks I missed you so much. Instead, he offers her a piece of burnt toast he asked for because he realized he should get used to the taste of old burned love in his throat.
“Nope I’m just incredibly amazing” she replies popping her p’s
“You could just walk through the front doors you know. You’re an invited diplomat no one would see it as suspicious”
“Ah yes” she nods sitting cross-legged, pretending to stroke a beard “but we need some excitement in our lives”
He lets himself laugh at her words as she settles herself somewhere between against the window and bed, leaning her head against the wall. She is all sharp cuts and wolfish grins and he is overcome with desperation to run and drink nothing but ice-cold water so he can claim sickness for the next few days. He wants to call away from every meeting and hide away in his room with her, memorizing the way her eyelashes fall.
“How long do you have before your, meeting?” she asks and they both pretend to not hear the clipped tone in her last word. They both pretend as if he really does have a meeting to go to and not fucking wedding planning to do.
“A couple more minutes” He doesn’t want to leave. He wants to stay in the room with her so badly, wants to learn about the elfish myths she pretends to not believe in. He wants to stay and listen to her explain the right way to pray to her gods, listen to her talk, to her laugh and he wants to stay so badly.
“You don’t have to go” she finally says and her voice is a soft beg, desperate for him to stay just as much as he wants.
“They’d just reschedule the meeting then, it’s better to just get the stupid planning over with”
“No I meant - you - he - you don’t have to go through with the wedding,” she says “you can back out”
He turns to look at her, all yellow light and unbridled love. She’s all sharp cuts and adrenaline, the feeling of a hurricane in a person.
“I can’t” he finally says in the softness of the sunset light.
“Yeah” she nods “I know” and that is the truth in of itself. She knows he wouldn’t have called off the wedding, she might have aided in bringing peace to a hundred-year war but she is not of nobility and there is nothing she could do about her lineage now. The war might be over but they aren’t the same children they were when the started the war, they cannot be so young to hope another one will not break if he breaks his promise to the elfish kingdom.
“I’m sorry” he finally says. She looks at him incredulously and he thinks oh no I’m not. How could he ever be sorry of meeting her? How could he ever be sorry of loving her?
I’d build an ocean for you he thinks watching her breathe. I’d cry an oasis for you, a place for salvation in a desert, a place of love for us. He wants to be a butterfly so he can leave his horrible promises behind, he wants to be a bit more selfish so he can put himself above his people, he wants to be particles of light, meaningless until coming together as one. He wants, he wants, he wants so badly for so much and he wishes someone would tell him what to do. Mom he wants to beg mom I know I made a promise but there is a girl I’ve fallen in love with somewhere underneath the night sky and I want to so badly mom.
Last night he had a dream with her. She was laying in bed complaining of the heat wishing for colder nights and he had promised to bring her ice in bed. He had dreamed of them eating dinner laughing as she cracked corny jokes. He dreamed of her going to diplomat meetings and arguing for more safety regulations, he dreamed of painting her every night until the sun turned green. He dreamed of kissing her so hard his head went dizzy, making pillow forts that fell apart and eating the last jelly tart. This is the only place I can love you he’d thought in the morning, ignoring the way his skin felt bruised and betrayed.
In a month he would wake up the day of his wedding feeling gutted in his throat. He’d put on his official royal clothes and spend the rest of his day waiting about, leaving Ezran to make any final decisions that needed to be made. He wouldn’t be wed until nightfall under the moonlight and stars disappointment following him. How ironic he would think I’m not even getting married to her under the moon shadow, I wasn’t even given that much. Later he would only say I do while staring at the moon, biting the inside of his mouth till it bled so he would finally feel something the day of his wedding. Later in a month she would show up during the sunset and give him a rose before kissing his forehead, both of them pretending as if she wasn’t saying goodbye. As if he wasn’t letting her go in the name of peace.
