Shit no one ever tells you about having an ed
- feeling tired all the time. Have a few coffees but it never goes away. Just constant lethargy.
- brushing off eating 500 cals in one sitting but getting so mad at yourself when you eat two, healthy spread out snacks for pete’s sake.
- not being able to sleep because you’re so hungry.
- being prone to sickness so much more. This is something I’ve really noticed. I’ve never really gotten sick thankfully because I have a good immune system but scabs, cuts, colds; everything now heals a lot slower. Everytime I have a cigarette now I get an ulcer (which I suppose is a good thing because I don’t smoke - but I never reallllllly did anyway? Only socially).
- wanting people to know you have an eating disorder because you want them to care, but never daring to say anything because they’ll make you stop. Result = being entirely alone and feeling as though you’re betraying your closest friends.
- similarly a friend noticing you never eat and having to awkwardly say “I’m not hungry” all the time. This is especially the worst when you spend the whole day or longer with them.
- literally losing so much weight but no one comments, only you notice, so it all feels void. The change you see just isn’t drastic enough yet.
- thinking you’re skinny enough to wear something you never have before, only to try it on and become completely depressed.
- having to wait for all the weight to shed off the area you want it to shed off from most; I don’t give a shit about my shoulders right now, I want a flat stomach!
- developing an irrepairable negative relationship with not only food, but damaging every other kind of relationship, too. I’ve lost so many hobbies and friends and family through the consistent snarkiness and sadness that is brought out in me.
- massive inability to focus; my grades have significantly dropped for the first time, ever.
- thinking an ed will restore your self confidence; HAHAHA, no, honey.
- being too scared to go on the scale, because you know you won’t like it and as a result dive into the worst depressive, not-eating episode. Instead being stuck in a limbo of sorts.
- and most of all, knowing all of the suffering you have that’ll last you your whole life is really not worth it, but prioritising it anyway, because your artificial arse just wants to look cute in a cropped top or a summer dress.
prguitarman
areudirty
theartofmadeline
germansingergirl
jacobvanloon
discoholicmusic
