tearrstained;

15+ | new vent blog | pro recovery

[tearrstained]

Maybe I’m just sensitive, but whenever my parents notice my scars and say something along the likes of:

‘That’s a fucking joke’,

it feels like they’re making fun of me.

[tearrstained]

I hate people so much. I hate them.

[tearrstained]

I feel like I find comfort in my mental illness.

[tearrstained]

I know it’s getting bad again when I start sneaking out during the night more because I want to feel something. I still don’t.

[tearrstained]

I’m so tired — and yet I don’t sleep. Maybe it’s my own unspoken way of punishing myself.

[tearrstained]

Them.>>

[tearrstained]

I hate pressing down so hard to try and make the cut so deep but it turns out the blade is too dull and now I only have stryo cuts from the entire session.

[tearrstained]

I’m tired of fighting.

[tearrstained]

I wanted to die yesterday.

I want to die today.

I’ve been wanting to die for months.

Hopefully I’m dead by tomorrow.

[tearrstained]

I’m so sick of apologizing when I’m not the one who should be sorry.

[tearrstained]

I’m getting pretty fucking tired.

[tearrstained]

I’m sorry my fully-healed scars keep on triggering you.

[tearrstained]

I’m so tired of this life.

[tearrstained]

I hate being reminded that I’m not that sweet, innocent, little girl I used to be anymore.

[tearrstained]

Maybe I don’t want to die.

Maybe I just want to kill my emotions.

[tearrstained]

I hate being shouted at for things I can’t control.

[tearrstained]

Staying silent knowing I have plans to kill myself.<<<<