wonderland

personal blog

[tears-n-stars]

Hello!

and welcome to my mess of a blog!

You can call me Ayli, the person running this blog. I may or may not disappear from time to time due to me forgetting that I even have a Tumblr account but I'll come back. Well, eventually, anyways. So do note that I'm not regularly active on Tumblr.

This blog serves as an outlet for me to talk about whatever that comes to mind like my thoughts regarding issues, experiences of life, or grievances that I have nowhere else to toward to. Of course, I have many other interests and hobbies like playing games in general, reading novels, drawing, writing etc but I'm still deciding whether to open up a secondary blog for those lmao but we'll see. I might just share all of those here if I'm lazy.

You'll also notice that sometimes I switch between using Malay or English in my sentences so be aware of that but don't be afraid to ask me if you need me to translate! I quite enjoy translating in most situations.

Remember to be kind and tolerant. I will not tolerate hateful behaviour in any of my posts regardless of whether it is here or anywhere else. You will be blocked if I deem you detrimental to my own peace of mind.

Thank you for even reading through this introductory post. Take care and best wishes to you, whoever you are.

[demaparbat-hp]

Say enough, say enough

Did I let her know, let her know?

If I found my body in chains

I'd lay down and wait

And hope she looks for me

The Craving by Twenty One Pilots

[tears-n-stars]

It's literally so funny that cardan exiled his newly wedded wife (slash former enemy with yummy tension) WITHOUT EVEN TELLING HER THE PLAN OF THE LOOPHOLE IN HIS DECREE 🤣

Dude was so surprised when Jude didn't come home, writing letters begging her to come back all while without thinking that maybe Jude didn't figure out the loophole hahshshah

God, I love cardan, he's so silly, I need more silly men in fiction like cardan 😭

[tears-n-stars]

Tom Yum Fried Rice (Nasi Goreng Tom Yam)

It's been a while since I posted here so the first thing I'm posting is a recipe lmaooo. Since the Notes app in my phone is getting too messy for my liking, I guess sharing the recipes here wouldn't hurt plus I get to ensure the recipes I used are never lost and forgotten (by me lah sebab I jenis senang lupa). This recipe is adapted from Marion's Kitchen Tom Yum Fried Rice so go to the link in case my wording here gets confusing plus to refer to any number change. I tweaked a few parts because I found them to be tedious but I'll explain more on that in later parts. Here we go!

Ingredients serves: 2-3

3 cups day-old cold rice

neutral oil

any choice of protein

1 egg

a few slices of galangal

1 lemongrass (bruised, cut into big pieces)

2-3 lime leaves (chopped)

1 small onion (diced)

1 tomato (diced/sliced)

1 tbsp nam prik pao/tom yum paste

1 tbsp fish sauce

1 tbsp soy sauce

a pinch of sugar

a squeeze of lime juice

Steps

Pound a few slices of galangal to a paste before adding the chillies to the paste. Pound the mix until fine.

Heat some vegetable oil in a large frying pan. Add the galangal + chillies paste, lemongrass, lime leaves and diced onions. Stir fry for 20 seconds or until onions turn translucent.

Add protein of choice (chicken, prawn etc.) to the pan and stir until cooked.

Add egg and let it set before breaking up the egg to chunks, similar to scrambled eggs. You can omit the egg here if you want, I usually omit it if I want pair the fried rice with a fried egg but heck, do both if you want haha!

Add tomato and sauce condiments; nam prik pao, fish sauce, soy sauce, sugar, and lime juice. Mix well all ingredients in pan. I like to make sure the tomato have been cooked soft.

Add the day-old rice and stir fry everything until rice is evenly coated.

Turn off heat and serve.

what are your thoughts on ‘skinny shaming’?

[sonderdog]

As someone who has been “thin-shamed” I can say it does Not at all go hand in hand with fat shaming. People “thin-shaming” me was mostly verbal harassment- you’re too skinny, you look like a boy, eat a fucking cheeseburger, what’s wrong with you why don’t you like food?

But guess what, I don’t have a problem finding clothes that fit me. There aren’t companies that refuse to make clothes for my size. There is no shortage of messages telling me that despite the harassment of some, I am still beautiful and ideal even if I’m unhealthy. Despite being thin-shamed, I still PANICKED when I started a medicine that made me gain weight, and I had to really analyze that, because no matter what my culture will still say that “fat is unideal” “fat is bad” and “honestly its fine to starve yourself / but shameful and bad to overeat.”

So “thin-shaming” is shitty because it’s shitty to be judged and have people make assumptions about you. But Fat-shaming is institutional, it’s not just individuals harassment and judgement, it’s potential jobs, it’s clothing companies, it’s media and advertisement, all telling you you’re bad as you are. Like what a way shittier thing.

[mothgoggles-deactivated20210706]

This is the difference.

[thekanechronicles]

No marriage required.

[splitseconddecision]

the entire time i spent watching this movie i was just waiting for charlotte to turn into a traitorous bitch, because that is what the media has told me for my entire life that her character archetype is supposed to do

kudos to disney for proving me wrong

[do-asdreamersdo-deactivated2015]

Let me tell you how great Lottie is. 1. She has EVERYTHING. This girl can literally have anything she wants and instead of hanging out with girls of her social class she’s friends with a poor girl. 2. Not only is she below her social class but she is African American which back in the twenties was COMPLETELY frowned upon. Lottie is risking social status to be friends with Tia. 3. When Tia and Naveen end up together in the end, Lottie doesn’t throw a fit or act upset, she is genuinely happy that Tiana has found true love even though that’s all Lottie has ever wanted her whole life. Something that her daddy can’t buy for her. 4. She’s true to herself and doesn’t let others judge her just because of how much money she has and she has a wonderful friend like Tiana that loves her for that. Lottie is wonderful and is highly underrated.

[rainbowloliofjustice]

If Tiana had let her, Charlotte would have bought the restaurant for Tiana and stocked it with the most expensive everything and had a grand ball for the opening. 

[takashi0]

#Charlotte was a ride or die chick to the end#like she’s the defination of sugar and sweetness as a person#like Tiana could ask her for anything and Charlotte would do it no questions or conditions required

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

Remember that scene when Charlotte was hanging out with the prince until she came across Tiana who had fallen into her beignet table and gotten desserts all over her dress after being rejected by the racist assholes who denied her restaurant, and Charlotte immediately dropped everything to get Tiana cleaned up and gave her one of her own dresses. The entire night she’d been going nuts because all she wanted was to be with the prince but her friend was in trouble so she put that shit on hold no questions asked. Charlotte was a real one.

[keithislactoseintolerant-deacti]

[clungedestroyer]

[r4cs0]

SMACK

[lordascapelion]

Cats can have a little salami

AS A PUNISHMENT

[cjajcjsmajvjksbs]

how to feel good about yourself when school is kicking your ass.

School’s tough, and when you’re getting hours of study and homework dumped on you every class, it’s easy to feel swamped, and it’s even worse when you feel like you’re not making progress anywhere else either. These things have seriously helped me with my mental and physical well-being, hopefully they can help you too!

1. Get the Forest App.  It’s $3 on the app-store, and trust me its $3 well spent. i use this app pretty much whenever I shouldn’t be using my phone. in class, studying, working out, not only does it make sure i stay off my phone, it feels really good to look back on all the time I’ve spent focused throughout the week. 

2. If you’re gonna waste time, do it properly.  Limit the time you spend scrolling social media to 10 minutes. I can’t count how many times I’ve been on Instagram explore page and suddenly an hour has gone past. This makes you feel crap. If you’re gonna waste time, do it in a way that can be measured. watch a tv show, ted talk, or youtube. make a social media post. It’ll make you feel like you’re spending your time doing something and that’s good in it’s own way.

3. Clean your room.  Feeling ridiculously overwhelmed? Clean your room. I don’t care how much work you need to do, or how soon it’s due. If you’re stressed you wont get anything worthwhile done. So clean your room, make your bed, vacuum the floor. It’ll calm you down and make you feel better about yourself. I promise.

4. Leave the junk food to the weekends. I know, everybody says it. But if you’re eating crap 24/7, it’s going to drag you down. I hate the idea of diets, they’re designed for failure and then you feel even worse, but trying to avoid junk from monday to friday helps a lot with your general perception of yourself. 

5. Work out. Another cliche! But they’re cliche’s because they work. I don’t care how often you work out or how much you do, just make sure you do it regularly and do enough to feel tired but good about yourself after woulds. it makes a difference. trust me.

6. Do a skin care routine & use face masks If you dont have a skin care routine, you need one. Not a fancy one by any means (some of us are uni students, I know) just a cetaphill cleanser and moisturiser day and night (with any creams / other products you may use) does the trick. It helps maintain routine and feel refreshed. Facemasks will help you feel like a self care goddess, even if they’re $2.

7. Burn candles & paint your nails Get a few cheap candels (just make sure they wont give you a headache) and burn them whilst you listen to music and paint your nails, its incredibly relaxing and makes you feel like you’re really taking care of yourself.

8. Have a hobby Last one! Learn something completely outside of school. Cooking, art, writing, photography, even if you suck, find something you enjoy and do it, you need a break from everything around you. 

These things have honestly helped turn my esteem and habits around these past years, it wont happen over night but just remembering to do these things every now and then will help you feel better, I promise. 

[activesodalikingant]

9. Keep track of what makes you feel stressed

Just get to know yourself. Do your homework in time, take a deep breath, and work on that project, stay focused, and don’t trust future yourself. Future you will curse past you for not doing it earlier.

Break connections with toxic people, and ask your friends for help when you know you need it.

10. Write to do lists

Keep in mind what you have to do, write grocery lists, carry a notebook with you, and write down everything. Do what you have to, but make sure to have enough time to relax. It feels so satisfying to put a check next to every little task at the end of the day, and you won’t forget anything anymore. It also feels so organised.

11. Open the window

Open it every day, at least a few times, even if it’s cold outside, then just for a few minutes. Fresh air helps to stay refreshed. Listen to the birds, let the sunshine in your room. If the weather is good enough, then go outside, or just to the balcony to do your homework.

[tears-n-stars]

reblogging for my own mental health since i’m going to a new university this october

[chuckdrawsthings]

identity

[catscafecomics]

Support

[storybookprincess]

suddenly remembered this poem as i was making breakfast this morning & frantically googled “poem remembered to buy eggs?????????” & somehow managed to find it & it utterly knocked the wind out of me just as much as when i first read it

[tears-n-stars]

i found this on instagram and i feel emotional to how i hope this will be me one day.

[kassareo]

map of the soul 7 // favourite tracks’ posters

[insp]

[aforest2006remaster]

concept

a beaded curtain, but instead of beads they’re worms on strings

[aforest2006remaster]

you know… these guys

[fanotastic]

Hi op I hope this satisfies your needs.

[citrineghost]

Needs more worms

I wanna make one of these that is like a literal curtain of worms

No clear strings available to get caught and tangle, I want them nose to ass like some kind of horrible human centipede of worms, covering my doorway

[lonevarg]

@fanotastic more worms

[fanotastic]

Aw fuck. Nothing makes you assholes happy.

[fanotastic]

Fuck you guys.

[fanotastic]

[fanotastic]

My fellow fuckers, I present you-

384

[spacingout]

Beautiful

[astrophilebookchild-deactivated]

It is perfect

[bat-boye-deactivated20200717]

I cannot express to you How Long I’ve been Searching for this fucking post and one day it just SHOWS UP ON MY DASH? Hell yeah! 

[thenatsdorf]

Billi speaks. (via billispeaks)

[noctomania]

billi want food

billi get food later?

billi want food!

billi mad.

billi want drugs.

[tears-n-stars]

I love this cat so much. (via billispeaks)

[charlesoberonn]

What if there was an apocalypse but some people were really really in denial and optimistic and thinking everything will be back to normal soon?

Like they’d be foraging through the ruins of New York for supplies, shooting raiders in the face and saying “Man, this recession is really bad, huh?”

[charlesoberonn]

Umm….

[nacho-lucky-day-buddy]

ARE YOU KIDDING ME

[fantasticfables]

this post, plus that satire one about the increasingly ridiculous callout culture that slowly became more and more accurate

[fantasticfables]

this one

[nacho-lucky-day-buddy]

was anything going on in 2017??? did everyone randomly have prophetic visions????????

[prussianmaple]

[charlesoberonn]

Another one from 2017 by @nullsynth

[ethnostates-deactivated20200722]

the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls

[hollowboobtheory]

turns out we had the 2020 vision after all

[handoverthehands-deactivated202]

“the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls” is actually a really fucking metal quote and i will be using it in the future

[pyromania2014]

@handoverthehands it’s from Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel. Referenced as well in Spirit of the Radio by Rush and again in Disturbed’s cover of the original.

[charlesoberonn]

And that in itself was a reference to the Book of Daniel from the bible, when the words of the prophet were written on the Babylonian palace walls.

In the real world, it’s not the kings and people in power who see the signs of doom, but the poor people in the subway, helpless to stop it.

[that-is-not-milk]

what happened on this post

[basinke]

EVERYTHING

what are your thoughts on ‘skinny shaming’?

[sonderdog]

As someone who has been “thin-shamed” I can say it does Not at all go hand in hand with fat shaming. People “thin-shaming” me was mostly verbal harassment- you’re too skinny, you look like a boy, eat a fucking cheeseburger, what’s wrong with you why don’t you like food?

But guess what, I don’t have a problem finding clothes that fit me. There aren’t companies that refuse to make clothes for my size. There is no shortage of messages telling me that despite the harassment of some, I am still beautiful and ideal even if I’m unhealthy. Despite being thin-shamed, I still PANICKED when I started a medicine that made me gain weight, and I had to really analyze that, because no matter what my culture will still say that “fat is unideal” “fat is bad” and “honestly its fine to starve yourself / but shameful and bad to overeat.”

So “thin-shaming” is shitty because it’s shitty to be judged and have people make assumptions about you. But Fat-shaming is institutional, it’s not just individuals harassment and judgement, it’s potential jobs, it’s clothing companies, it’s media and advertisement, all telling you you’re bad as you are. Like what a way shittier thing.

[mothgoggles-deactivated20210706]

This is the difference.

[tears-n-stars]

Ever since my friend told she suspected herself to have adhd, I have been trying to read up on it so I can understand better but as I read the symptoms more, it just strikes me how I could relate to some of it like

[tears-n-stars]

I looked up Separation Anxiety Disorder and phewwww I sure do hope that ain’t me cuz suddenly I can’t read ✨