He knew that Hugo would try to get the idea of hurting that professor out of his head. And deep, deep, DEEP down inside, Nathaniel knew that he was right. He wasn’t worth spending the rest of the life stuck in Azkaban ( at least he’d get to see his grandparents there ). But at that moment, Nate HATED to admit that his best mate was right. So he only rolled his eyes, shaking his head, still refusing to admit how wrong he was. With a deep sigh, he pulled Hugo up on his lap, wrapping his arms loosely around him. Squeezing his hand, he even managed to crack a small smile, resting his forehead against Hugo’s. He didn’t know how but Hugo was always able to calm him down and stop from doing stupid things. Nate let out a scowl at finding out that his best mate was not going to do anything; he should have expected that. “Come on,” he furrowed his brows, trying to reason with the other. “What if it was Rose that he hurt? Would you also say that she was an idiotic kid who fell in love and that she is in the wrong? Or would you FIGHT for her?” he knew that getting his sister in the middle of it was kind of a low blow but Nate just couldn’t stand that Hugo was belittling himself like that. “He is an adult man, he should know better and you MUSN’T make excuses for his gross behaviour!.”
One moment they talked about Hugo’s past, the next Hugo was admitting his feelings towards Nate. And he couldn’t be more confused about this. “Uh…” his eyes went wide as he kept looking at the ginger. He knew for a long time that they weren’t just best friends, the bond between them was so much more than that. He was always smiling the brightest whenever Hugo was around, he always felt better, lighter, his spirits were lifted. This, well, unfamiliar feeling couldn’t be matched by anything he has ever felt for any of his friends ( his childhood bestie Indie included ) and now was the time Nathaniel finally started realizing that he indeed was in love with his best mate. But of course, there came the feeling of self-doubt, something Nate wasn’t accustomed to when it came to his looks, Quidditch skills or academics in general but when the matters of heart were included, he was just a lost boy. The fact that it took him so long to acknowledge his feelings for Hugo should be enough to admit that he was just so inexperienced in relationships in general. “Huggs…” his voice was sounding soft, almost too quiet to hear. “Why? I’m just a spoiled kid who fucked half of Hogwarts and runs around hexing people…” he asked, furrowing his brows. He needed to know what was so special about him that made Hugo fall for him. What if he was just a rebound for a heartbroken boy who wanted to forget about a past relationship?
“Wait, what?” Well, now Nate was even MORE puzzled than two minutes ago. “So let me get this straight… a man who broke your heart, who used and broke you, still keeps in touch with you and you still are trying to get him what he wants? Despite everything that had happened?” He didn’t understand. Was Hugo still in love with that man? Then why did he just say he’s in love with Nate? “I just d-don’t get it. I’m sorry, Huggs,” he bit his bottom lip, letting out a sigh, his grip around Hugo visibly loosening.
The thought of Nathaniel getting into ANY sort of trouble on Hugo’s behalf was not a thought he liked to fathom. Now knowing the man he believed he once loved and seeing his true colors, Hugo didn’t want James going ANYWHERE near Nathaniel. It wasn’t that he was physically dangerous more so manipulative and the more he thought about it, the more he wanted Professor Atkins out of Hogwarts. What if he did this to another student? The male melted easily into Nate’s hold, ringing his arms around the other’s neck as he wiggles a bit to get more comfortable. “OF course I’d fight for Rose. She’s my sister…but she’s not me. First of all, she wouldn’t be so idiotic to fall in love with him in the first place…Rose is smart and not so bloody naïve. And secondly, Rose is easy to love. I’m…” A sigh emits from his lips as he shrugs his shoulders, “Messy. A bit…more complicated. Not…so easy.” Even before he tried to take his own life his depression had a habit of consuming him, knowing that he probably didn’t make the greatest partner. “If his behavior was gross than so was mine. I may not legally be an adult yet but it was all my choice. Maybe he did like me at some point but I could have just pushed him away. I’m not making excuses for him because…there’s nothing to excuse.”
His eyes widened, mouth going dry as he realized what a mistake he had made. Things were finally starting to go somewhere with Nate and he had to go and RUIN it with his mouth. “I…look. You don’t…I’m not trying to scare you off. You don’t have to feel the same way. I’m just…I wanted…I couldn’t keep it in any longer, okay? You don’t have to love me back I’ll still love you and I’ll take…whatever you want to give me. If you just want to be friends, that’s fine. Friends that…do other things that’s…fine. I just…oh merlin did I ruin everything?” Rambling excessively and nervously, dropping his head. Though his head raises slowly at Nate’s next sentence, brows furrowing as he reaches over to place a gentle hand upon the male’s cheek, “What do you mean WHY? Loving you is easier than bloody breathing. It’s the one damn thing that…makes sense. I mean you’re so damn passionate” He presses a kiss upon Nate’s temple, “and loyal.” Now attaching his lips to Nate’s forehead, “and loving” A kiss upon the corner of his mouth. “and considerate” A kiss upon his neck, “and intelligent” A kiss upon his cheek, “and talented.” A soft kiss upon his lips, brown hues boring into the male’s eyes, thumbs caressing his skin, “You stand up for those who can’t stand for themselves, you see the beauty in things that other people disregard, you fight for what you believe in and you’re so incredibly kind and gentle. It’s impossible to not love you. Believe me…I’ve tried. The moment I realized I caught feelings for my best mate…I didn’t want to lose you.”
His brows furrow as he now loops his arms around Nate’s waist, not allowing him to let go as he shakes his head, “I want him out of Hogwarts, Nate. Not because I love him but because he’s the constant reminder of everything I hate about myself. I don’t…” He licks his lips, “Every time I’m making progress with myself and moving forward, he keeps pushing me back. Making me feel weak and I let him, I know. But if I can get him another job, he’ll be gone. He knows the me I want to forget and it’s that Hugo, the weak, scared and sad Hugo that he manipulates. Am I…making any sense?”