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king of the cryptids

@teefmilk

ⓘ the man, the myth, the legend viewer discretion is advised cause fuck

92 posts

Aug 24, 2022

#teefmilk … the family disappointment.

teef … adult. they/them. queer af.

aizawa’s worst half. ryuk fucker. thoughts haver. major shitposter. certified pretty boy. resident cryptid.

blasting … ‘anybody else’ by dom fera.

streaming … hannibal on hulu.

thinking … i still hate german so fucking much.

#[ ! ] teefmilk pinned #hello 👁👁#welcome to my corner of hell #so nice of you to join us #here have a kiss and a cookie 🍪💋

Jan 12, 2023

the one downside to having and growing out an undercut no one tells you about is how you have to wash (and rinse) it separately from the rest of your hair

#[ ! ] i’m like a raccoon in the garage #is it the worst thing in the world? no #is it mildly inconvenient? yes #cause when i fan out the rest of my hair to rinse out all the soap #the hair UNDERNEATH doesn’t rinse #which — as one can guess — is not good #like not only do i have to separately wash it #(though to be fair i’m weird and particular about things like showering)#but i also have to separately rinse it #even though i’m already fanning the hair out and turning my head side to side #this is such a dumb pet peeve and / or rant but i had this thought in the shower while washing my hair and i wanted to share #cause why not

Dec 26, 2022

#[ ! ] i’m in severe credit card debt #[ ! ] live footage of teefmilk #everybody say hiii #i think i’m hilarious cause i am #and that you guys care cause ya do #also oh my goood #hand and nail reveal #oh my goood guys #…somebody…stop me. please

Dec 26, 2022

today is…happy…tree :)

#[ ! ] i’m like a raccoon in the garage #look i don’t…i don’t know #i was tryna think of a way to be non-specific and inclusive #so…happy tree #whatever ya celebrate today i hope it was nice #merry christmas #happy holidays #happy hanukkah #happy kwanzaa #and if ya don’t celebrate any of those or anything at all then happy sunday!#or happy 25th!

Dec 20, 2022

did a donkey just try to sell me mouthwash?

#[ ! ] i’m like a raccoon in the garage #i’m like 85% sure i’m not sleeping or dead or on dr*gs #so what the fubbernuck did i just watch???#i’ve seen ads with animals but not a whole donkey with perfect pearly white teeth promoting listerine #that’s a bit new

Dec 20, 2022

he is in so deep, he wrote a song

HE’S SINGING!!!

#[ ! ] G is for the only gamer i see #i know i should’ve expected that but…#he is actually singing the song #oh my god #oh…my god #this man is so extra

Dec 20, 2022

he is in so deep, he wrote a song

#[ ! ] G is for the only gamer i see #i…i am at a loss for words #kinda literally #it’s a little odd but super sweet #like i’ve never even been given flowers before #and now this handsome fictional man wrote me a song?#ah…my heart may burst from my chest

Dec 20, 2022

he said he loves me…

i’ve been caught! he knows i like him!

#[ ! ] G is for the only gamer i see #over here like ‘you liiikkkeee meee’#‘yooouuu liikkkeee meee’#like he didn’t tell me he loves me then quickly delete it right after #i saw it sir i saw it with my eyes 👁👁#you can’t hide it from me #but i can poorly veil my feelings for you

Dec 20, 2022

he said he loves me…

#[ ! ] G is for the only gamer i see #guys it’s happening #IT’S HAPPENING #everybody stay calm—EVERYBODY STAY FCKING CALM #i am calm cool collected clear like water #i am okaaay #i JUST got back to the game after a break

Dec 20, 2022

i need to see micah in a maid outfit now

he can be in the maid outfit, i can steal every article of clothing from his closet

#[ ! ] G is for the only gamer i see #he basically offered and said i could #so…#i’ve been meaning to renovate my closet / wardrobe anyway!#and from the few outfits i’ve seen so far of his he has *way* better taste

Dec 20, 2022

i need to see micah in a maid outfit now

#[ ! ] G is for the only gamer i see #if he’s gonna be my house husband than he is going to look h o t while bein’ one #i’m sure he’s joking but…imagine it ⭐️^⭐️

Dec 20, 2022

micah yujin is the only man that can call me sexy

#[ ! ] G is for the only gamer i see #tw cursing #i don’t what exactly i hate about the word #it just guves me the ick so hard #maybe it’s my asexualitu #maybe it’s the context or intent #but when micah calls me sexy? oh hell yeah i am the sexiest bitch

Dec 20, 2022

he got me food :’)

#[ ! ] G is for the only gamer i see #it’s such a simple — and kind of odd for just meeting — thing to do #that is the most sure fire way to my interest

Dec 20, 2022

and now he’s dead…so sad

#[ ! ] G is for the only gamer i see #potential spoilers in tags…?#mans straight up not only!#played out a whole skit pretending to be a gladiator #but! after being st*bbed with a sword!#proceeded to launch himself out of his chair and die on the floor ‘bleh’ and all #we have the worl’s best and dumbest comedian on our hands

Dec 20, 2022

TUMBLR WON’T LET ME UPLOAD ANYMORE PHOTOS, BUT THAT WILL NOT STOP ME ( potential spoilers…? )

so…there was some flirty, witty banter, it was amazing. i’m poke at him, he pokes at me

he’s got a cat named scrunkly who kinda looks like a brown skunk. and, to match her, he dyed his hair. then! then! to show me…he video called me!

eeeeee

and i accepted cause that’s what my dumbass would do!

also, if we were in a zombie apocalypse, he would eat my arm, which is…you know, it’s somethin’ to chew on (pun intended)

#[ ! ] G is for the only gamer i see #potential spoilers below the cut?#i want to have my first run through be as me as possible #and so far me is making some great options for some great scenarios if i do say so myself #this is so much fun so far #if you can download it download it immediately

Dec 20, 2022

oh my god, this man…

#[ ! ] G is for the only gamer i see #look at this duuude #he’s already in it deeper than me #obsessed and we’ve only been talking a few minutes #i just have the effect on my people sometimes i guess #(me acting like i’m not head over heels)

Dec 20, 2022

#[ ! ] G is for the only gamer i see #the back and forth oh my gahd #i am already dying /pos #it’s so cute and witty and i’m in love

king of the cryptids @teefmilk - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag