@telepathic-affair - Tumblr Blog

RICH GUTIERREZ: A WARNING

Rich has a pattern of sexual assault, consent/boundary violations, emotional abuse and manipulation. This statement is based on the experiences of multiple women/nb people. He has victimized woc experiencing vulnerable or precarious life circumstances. Attempts to directly confront Rich on these matters has proven fruitless. This page will attempt to share helpful information in as clear and accessible a manner as possible.

WHO IS RICH?

Rich is from San Jose and currently lives in Chicago. He plays in Busted Outlook and Permanent Ruin.

https://www.richgutierrez.com/

http://landspeedrecord.tumblr.com/

https://twitter.com/_supremenothing

https://www.instagram.com/supreme_nothing/

https://www.facebook.com/SupremeNothing

http://www.supremenothingpress.com/

https://www.instagram.com/supremenothingpress/

https://mobile.twitter.com/SN_Press

https://www.facebook.com/supremenothingpress/

https://bustout.bandcamp.com/

https://permanentruin.bandcamp.com/

SPECIFIC BEHAVIORS (TW)

• Non-consensually and violently forcing oral penetration

• Restraining partners non-consensually during sex

• Removing condoms during sex without informing partners, non-consensually initiating unprotected penetrative sex

• Seeking out people who are emotionally or socially vulnerable and exploiting their trust in him - these behaviors are a form of predation that is best described as grooming* (see below)

• Positioning himself as a “victim” or as “vulnerable” in order to manipulate people he abuses into being dismissive of other people’s attempts to hold him accountable

• Gaslighting people who have attempted to hold him accountable for his abuse of them

• Enforcing power disparity in relationships by manipulating partners into being exclusive with him; while secretly having concurrent sexual relationships with other people

• Exploiting cultural access and labor from people who he has abused as well as appropriating their work/plans

• Failing to inform potential partners of his past behavior, despite being made aware of the above experiences and their impact.

* Resources on the concept of psychological grooming for people who haven’t encountered the term before:

http://outofthefog.website/top-100-trait-blog/2015/11/4/grooming

(we don’t mean to endorse everything on this website, but it is concise)

http://www.kbsolutions.com/Grooming.pdf

(starts on page 16)

WHY IS THIS JUST COMING OUT NOW?

Rich has successfully constructed an image of himself as a self aware feminist ally, especially using social media to aggressively reinforce this image. Additionally, Rich has social capital and a prominent/respected position. Finally, Rich has been shielded from the consequences of his actions by his friends, in particular Victoria Ruiz of Downtown Boys. When people who Rich has hurt have attempted to seek support from Rich’s friends, or just inform them of Rich’s actions, those friends have discredited the survivors’ experiences and intimidated them into silence.

WHO ARE WE? WHAT DO WE WANT?

This page was written collaboratively by a number of people, then passed along to others for review. We just are sharing this info at the specific request of survivors. This is not an “accountability process.” Over the years people Rich has hurt have made requests of him, and asked his friends to hold him accountable. These efforts have been futile, and only resulted in the further emotional abuse and ostracization of the survivors. We are presenting this information in the hopes of interrupting Rich’s pattern of abuse.

CONTACT

If you have questions, you can get in touch with us. If you have been hurt by Rich and want to connect with other survivors, at least one of them is actively interested in that. Please feel free to get in touch.

[email protected]

UPDATE

6/6/17 - Since this was posted, so far 2 additional women have come forward with stories of abuse by Rich that involve the behaviors listed above. Also, women/nb people have also come forward with accounts of harassment from him, involving him harassing them about their experiences of abuse at the hands of his friends. We recognize this call out is complex since it also names Victoria, though this is not primarily about her. Since posting this call out, two people have come forward with accounts of her harmful actions, specifically about her intimidation and silencing of people who come to her with accounts of being abused/assaulted by her friends.

lifeinpoetry

Let me call my anxiety, desire, then. Let me call it, a garden.

Maybe this is what Lorca meant when he said, verde que te quiero verde—

because when the shade of night comes, I am a field of it

— Natalie Diaz, from “From the Desire Field,” published in Academy of American Poets’ Poem-A-Day

telepathic-affair

Who has twitter?

blackfashion

eugene walela, 21, Atlanta GA IG: @walelacolour

claryfairhild

i’m so done with the way girls in twenties are treated. i’m so done with people who literally create timetable for us. 20- 24 find a guy, 24-26 make him propose to you, 27-29 get married. i’m so done. i’m do not want to get 2 a.m texts from my best friend who is freaking out that she is gonna die alone. i do not want see my 20 years old friend wasting her time on some guys who are not even interested in her. i do not want see us falling for every nice guy who does not look creepy. i do not want to see girls get sad or paranoid just bcos they do not fill in the schedule. you are ok. you should enjoy your life at its fullest and one day you will find 10/10 so do not pursue 6 just because you do not want to be single. it is ok and one day you will find someone. do not split your love with people who does not deserve it. keep it for yourself and when time will come you will know. i know it hurts. i know you wish u could just open part of yourself and release the buzzing love. but not every kind of love is romantic. show it to your family, friends, plants, yourself.

kaerya

Not a real criticism, just an expansion really, but … it’s not just the timetables we need to get away from, but the goal itself, I think. “One day you will find someone,” sounds comforting, but the reason it doesn’t lay fears to rest is because we are all smart enough to know it’s not necessarily true.

My aunt is over sixty, never married, and never, so far as I am aware, ever even had a great romance. She dated a lot, but never clicked and now seems to have given up. My mentor is over seventy, divorced her asshole husband more than half her life ago and has never found anyone since.

We all know women (and men) like these. And because we know them, we know that “one day you will find someone,” is just … hogwash. Because sometimes you just … don’t. Or sometimes you do, but he turns out to be a cad. Or you do and the universe rips you apart in the most unfair way possible. And because society has us so fixated on finding “our other half” or whatever, we view these women as cautionary tales.

But …

My aunt trains dogs. Her schipperke is the national champion for his breed. She spent so much of her life as a librarian, nurturing the love of books in kids, myself among them. I ride horses because of her, and it’s one of the very few things I do that makes my soul feel at peace.

My mentor is one of the best criminal defense attorneys in her state. She has devoted her life to fighting to ensure that everyone gets a vigorous defense. Because of her countless people have had the opportunity to turn their lives around. Because of her, they’ve had a life to turn around. Because of her, the prosecution and the police in her jurisdiction are forced to behave ethically and adhere to the rule of law. She’s still, even now fighting to abolish the death penalty. It’s because of her that I am pursuing the life I am.

These women’s lives are not nothing. In fact they are a whole lot of something, and it makes my heart hurt that I ever, in my dark 3 am’s, thought of their lives as something to be avoided at all costs.

So love your family, your friends, your pets, your gardens. Love your job or your hobby or your raison d’ etre, whatever it is. Love sunsets and the smell of rain and yourself, and don’t love these as something to do as a placeholder until the buzzing, romantic love comes, but love these as things worth loving all in themselves.

It’s fucking hard some days. The dark 3 am’s still come sometimes. But most days, I am so much more at peace knowing that I am not incomplete or waiting, but that my life, if it ended today, is worth it because of the platonic, familial, friendship love I have shared. And if the other kind does come someday, that’ll be nice, but it won’t make any of the others less. It’ll just be caramel sauce on a sundae–tasty and wonderful, but the sundae was perfect without it too.

brownsunbisexual-permarchive-de

compulsory heterosexuality and general heteronormativity leads bi women to be isolated from each other, from other gay women, and from other lgbt more generally. because straight people erase bi women, a lot of them have a very difficult time finding women to date and cohabit with. moreover, compulsory heterosexuality itself obscures the reality for bi women that they can actually love women and choose to be with them. some of them end up dating men (or more men than women) for this reason. straight men abuse bi women because they seek to possess their bisexuality, force their love for women out of them, display their masculinity through violence, power, and control, and assert their dominance. moreover, because straight men feel emasculated by homophobic & biphobic stereotypes surrounding bi women (that bi women are going to cheat on their partners and deceive them), they project the embitterment and humiliation of feeling emasculated onto their female bisexual partners. this is exactly why the rates of IPV against bi women are so high.

so, bi women are abused because of homophobia and misogyny, and some of them have only ever dated men because of homophobia. it’s the same reason why there are gay men and lesbians who have been in heterosexual relationships before - heteronormativity obfuscates any nonheterosexual feeling to the point that we force ourselves to be in heterosexual and only heterosexual relationships. and no, bi women are not abused because they’re “idiots” who are “asking to get abused” by “taking the easy way out” and dating a man. that is absolutely not why they are abused, and in fact it’d be remiss to call yourself a feminist if you think blaming any woman for her abuse is a good thing (yes, even when that abuse takes place in an m/f relationship, contrary to what your paltry little radical cultural feminists would have you believe ).

ambarnuit-deactivated20190908

Stop sharing special information about your life until it’s sure you have it (a job interview, a job, what you may do in the next few months, projects you have in mind…) Not even to your closest friends because you never know if they really have your best interest in mind el mal de ojo is real and I learnt it the hard way, keep the important stuff to yourself

fukwit97-deactivated20180511

not 2 be a banksy freak but 2017 makeup culture is so depressing… the industry relentlessly peddling products to teens & the ridiculous level of consumption thats celebrated n normalised….worst of all ppl defending it saying its a wonderful thing that we live in an age of extreme makeup consumerism..soz i dont see anything wonderful about 14 yr old girls being told by rolls royce owning youtubers that they care about them so much that they are giving out a discount code on ludicrous amounts of essentially the same products every week so they cn perform femininity adequately enough to feel worth

magicvll-deactivated20190817

And it’s even sadder when you bring this up around people and they get all defensive because everyone and their mother wants to be an MUA these days, and they don’t realize they’ve been handed such bullshit by these big companies. The companies have won when suddenly you can’t be an “empowered” women without “power brows” and perfect lipstick, and I see so many people on social media preaching that being an MUA makes them a stronger feminist; basically aligning feminism with consumerist makeup culture which is the exact opposite of what feminism actually is.

tsoki

& I think the equally capitalist response to this phenomenon have been companies like The Ordinary, Glossier, Karity, Milk Cosmetics, etc. These companies preach a “pure, no-makeup” philosophy in an attempt to make themselves look better and trash the “mainstream” so that the consumer thinks they’re buying into a better, more “feminist” beauty scheme. It’s really funny considering that most of these millennial-geared, minimalist makeup brands have larger parent companies who comprise the very “mainstream” that’s supposedly being combated. Like, DECIEM, The Ordinary’s parent company literally has a whole line of products dedicated to skin lightening and proudly advertise their bleaching products in the year 2017. It’s all trash.

mooooosa

Moonlight (2016) - dir. Barry Jenkins // The Handmaiden (2016) - dir. Park Chan-Wook

sodomymcscurvylegs

Forceful resistance works. Going after them and revealing their ugly faces to the public works. Punching them in the jaw works. Showing them no mercy works. Make.Them.Tremble.

abjectionrules-deactivated20200

KEEP IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thexfiles

carrie fisher didn’t get laid to rest in a prozac-shaped urn for us not to take our meds…………. so take your meds

determinate-negation

do u think all the liberals comparing this to harry potter and star wars forget the times in harry potter and star wars where people formed a cohesive resistance and violently overthrew voldemort or whatever the fuck instead of sending him a change dot org petition