Sometimes I think about Alphonse Elric and my heart breaks. Can you imagine not being able to sleep or eat for almost five whole years? He couldn't feel the warmth of the sun, the wind in his hair, the catharsis of tears streaming down his face, the embrace of another. He had to hide away from so many people, feared getting too close only to be discovered. He lied time and time again about why he wore the armor, why he couldn't eat. You think the people who knew him for a long time like Mustang and Hawkeye still hear the echo in his voice? Still expect to feel cold metal when they reach out to him? You think every time someone mistook him for the Fullmetal Alchemist, he felt just a twinge of insecurity? "I didn't get this body because I wanted it." "It's not my fault I'm so big." He is fourteen years old for the majority of the series. He is a child. But it's so easy to see the size of his armor and forget that he's still just a kid who wanted to see his mom's smile again. When he is capable of taking so many hits without damage and fight without tiring and walk through blizzards without freezing, it's easy to forget he's just a boy. When I visualize Al as a character, I visualize the armor. When I realized that, when I realized I don't visualize the boy within the armor, my heart broke.
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