-- temulentCachinnation [TC] began trolling ardentCupid [AC] --
TC: MOTHERFUCKER CAN NOT START HIMSELF WORKING OUT PROPER WORDAGE FOR THEM SORROWS BEFALLEN UPON ALL BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
TC: never was one with all of my ownsome thoughts in a row for such manners.
TC: BUT MAYHAPS A FUCKER GOTTA JUST DO WHAT SO SHINES FORTH MOST RESPLEDENT IN A HUMBLE DOGG'S PUSHER. TC: which is getting my know on how you is, sister meus. :o(\
AC: (=^..^=) < OHH...
AC: (^･o･^) < I AM DOING PRETTY GOOD, ALL THINGS CLAWNSIDERED!
AC: (=^･ω･^) < I'M WATCHING A R3333ALLY GOOD SHOW, BRO.\
TC: TRUTHWISE AIN'T WHAT A FUCKER WHAT BE GETTING HIS WICKED WORRIED ON WAS EXPECTING TO BE HAVING BEAMED AT ME.
TC: but as be getting my relief on hearing that sister ain't writhin' around with feelings most indescribable.
TC: CAN'T BE THINKING ELSEWISE THAT ANY SHOW BE SO GOOD IT MAKES A NINJETTE FORGET ABOUT THEM FRAGMENTS OF WHAT USED TO BE FLYING ALLS OVER THE MOTHER FUCKING VOID.\
AC: (^・x・^) < MMMMMM W3333LL...
AC: (^・ω・^ ) < I AM JUST TRYING TO BE PAWSITIVE!
AC: ~(=^. .^) < AND THERE MAY ALSO POSSIBLY BE OTHER REASONS?
TC: manners of feelings numbed be a business this trash clown have been most familiar.
TC: HONK.
TC: still ain't gonna be getting my word on something harsh for trying to keep oneself from falling apart.
TC: BUT SHALL NOT BE ONE TO BE LETTING THIS HORROR SHOW BE SENDING MINE CLOSEST INTO THE SAME KINDA WRETCHED STARDUST WHAT BE FLOATING ON OUTSIDE.
TC: you up for a visitation sister?
AC: ヾ(=ﾟ･ﾟ=)ﾉ < YES. ABSOLUTELY YES.
AC: (=；ェ；=) < I REALLY WANT TO HANG OUT WITH YOU AGAIN!
AC: (=^･ω･^) < HEY... DO YOU KNOW WHERE MY ROOM IS?
AC: (^･o･^)ﾉ < DIRK GAVE ME ONE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF PURRADIA!
TC: THEN HANGING OUT WILL WHAT BE DONE. :o)
TC: figure a sister would be getting that information on and at me.
TC: HAHAHA!
TC: done and noted alls down in mine pan homie.
AC: ＼(=^..^)// < COOL! OKAY, I WILL DO SOME CLEANING UP FUR YOU. THIS IS GOING TO BE, LIKE...
AC: (=ﾟ･ﾟ=) < SO HELLS OF BALLER.
AC: ヾ(=ﾟ･ﾟ=)ﾉ < MAYBE EVEN TEN HELLS!!
AC: (=⊙ω⊙) < OR A PURRZILLION.
TC: PURRZILLION BALLERS AND THEN SOME MY SISTER.
TC: honk.
TC: HAHAHA!
GAMZEE: =Sure enough there's a knock knock knocking on Meulin's block door not soon after. Gamzee is one speedy clown now that he has his wits around him.=
MEULIN: -Wow, that was fast. She barely even got up from her computer and picked up, like, one whole sock before he was already there. She slips over to the door and slowly opens it up, grinning, and it definitely smells like "CATNIP" in there.- GOM! IT IS YOU!
MEULIN: -continues staring at him for several long seconds before- OH, YEAH! -backs up and opens the door all the way-
GAMZEE: =Flashes her a toothy smile as the door opens. He might have been cheating on the whole speed front by writing with her on a portable comm. His smile slowly fades from the scent of her block, one not unfamiliar. Though he wasn't going to fight her on it. This whole situation was all shades fucked up. Still, if she continues he would drop some truthbombs about that kinda nasty business.=
GAMZEE: <SO IT BE. IT ME.> =Signing it up in here. Small amused snort, tilting his head at Meulin as she stares. Another little snort when she opens the door all the way. Gives her a thumbs up and heads on inside.=
GAMZEE: <hope was being none too intrusive at your own self about this business.>
MEULIN: OH, IT IS COMPURRLETELY AND TOTALLY FINE. -shuts the door behind him and goes to flop right onto her bed. The room is pretty sparse with basically anything, considering she only just moved in. She's got her CATTOP and various other necessities, at least.-
MEULIN: -chinhands at him, lying on her belly. on the bed near her lies a little glass bowl pipe and a lighter.- (=ↀωↀ=)
MEULIN: HEY... GAMZ33... MEULIN: UMMMMM. DO YOUUUU. NIP?
GAMZEE: =Nods, reassured. The sparse room is, well, it's kind of sad. Still he also feels like it's a better alternative than what his block looks like. Maybe he will come around with some stuff for her next time.=
GAMZEE: =Figuring he should make himself at home Gamzee clowns his way over to the bed and sits down next to her on it. He tilts his head at the staring.= :o?
GAMZEE: =Oh. The question washes away the smile and enthusiasm that he'd be putting on, at least for now.= <BROTHER GOT HIMSELF INVOLVED ON OCCASIONS OCCATIONAL.>
GAMZEE: <be no stranger to such whatsits and whoozits.>
GAMZEE: =Looks vaguely amused but it's just to make his "words" seem less harsh, though its just observation.= <LOOKS LIKE A SISTER AIN'T NO STRANGER TO SUCH WICKED HAPPENINGS EITHER.>
MEULIN: YOU WOULD BE CORRECT! I MEAN. IT IS PRETTY MUCH JUST A THING I DO.
MEULIN: AND IT HELPS ME WRITE SOMETIMES!
MEULIN: AND LIKE. A LOT OF TIMES IT IS LIKE... THE ONLY THING THAT HELPS ME RRRELAX AFTER A LONG DAY. YOU KNOW? ~(=^. .^)
MEULIN: -yeah, she's rambling, and she's kind of aware, but that's also what it does to her. fun rambly times.- DO YOU WANT SOME? IT WOULD BE LIKE, SUPURR RUDE OF ME NOT TO OFFUR!
GAMZEE: =Watches her ramble, and he's having trouble identifying what feeling he gets from it. Sympathy maybe. It's easy to forget and get away from everything when you're on this kind of shit, but you might end up losing yourself too. He rubs at his arm, picking a little at his skin afterward.=
GAMZEE: =Shrugs with one shoulder, gaze flitting to her and out in the room again. Not knowing what to say for comforting in a situation like this the offer was somewhat tempting, but...=
GAMZEE: =He shakes his head.= <GOT MINE MOTHER FUCKING UNDERSTANDING ON THEM HAPS SISTER MEU.>
GAMZEE: <but gonna find myself declining on that kinda noise.>
GAMZEE: <BEST BE CLEAR WHEN MY MIND IS IN THE NEED OF USING.>
MEULIN: OH! YES, I TOTALLY GET IT.
MEULIN: -rolls onto her back and stares up at him instead. soft purring is a go.- IS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANTED TO TALK ABOUT? OR SOMETHING YOU WANTED TO DO?? (^･ω･^)
GAMZEE: =Smiles at the purring. Still cute.=
GAMZEE: =He had expected Meulin to be distraught honestly, just like that time with Rufioh. At least then he would have some kind of other experience with it, and how to handle it. Her lack of caring is confusing, yet familiar at the same time. It makes him feel... Strange.=
GAMZEE: =Flops his long frame backwards on the bed, looking at Meulin.= <whatever you have got going on in your pan homie.>
GAMZEE: <HERE TO GET MY LISTEN ON ALLA IT.>
MEULIN: ... IN MY PAN?
MEULIN: -well. she has to consider that for a moment, but the considering is a little difficult. it's hard to piece together thoughts, because it's just easier to talk and not think. and the more she thinks, the more her thoughts loop back around to places she doesn't want them to go.-
MEULIN: (=^..^) ... I DON'T KNOW.
GAMZEE: =Watches her as she goes quiet, trying not to think about just how familiar this all feels. Except he's seeing it from an outside perspective and it's... It's a bad time, and he doesn't fucking care for it one bit. He picks more at his arm, then moves to one of his many bracellets to spin and fiddle with that instead.=
GAMZEE: =Pauses the fiddling to sign, but he's looking up at the ceiling rather than her.=
GAMZEE: <you don't got a know on, or do you not wish to have a know?>
MEULIN: -that's a question that catches her a little off guard. she had not ever particularly been asked that before, or asked why that distinction mattered. for the longest time, it was better not to question, to let it lie, to enjoy herself where she could. hohepa had certainly encouraged that, and despite her disconnection from him now, the habits stayed.-
MEULIN: I...
MEULIN: -she's frowning, a little numb and a little too aware of her body all at once. the high is somewhat distracting, but the thoughts that come seem magnified, even if they're short clips, repetitions. her home is gone. her lusus is gone. everything she knew for almost her entire life -- gone. how was she supposed to accept that as reality? how could anyone? she had plans to go back one day. she thought of it almost every day, in passing, a comforting knowing that somewhere it still existed even if she wasn't currently a part of it. and that couldn't happen anymore. none of it could happen anymore. none of it could ever be taken back.-
MEULIN: -she hasn't realized she's gone quiet for quite some time, staring at the ceiling herself, eyes a little watery and lips pursed tight.-
MEULIN: I-- -her throat is too tight, her voice just a wisp at first.- DON'T KNOW.
GAMZEE: =The silence is more validation for the answer he had already reached himself. His eyes are fixed on the ceiling, and the only sounds are that of the soft wooden clacks of his bracellets moving against each other as he fiddles with them.=
GAMZEE: =His ear twitches in Meulin's direction as a faint sound comes from her, and this time he looks over. The expression on his face tired, but not without understanding. He sits up to move closer, to make sure she can at least see what he signs at her in the corners of her eyes. Signing the words proves more difficult than saying them, as the signing forces him to put even more thought behind it.=
GAMZEE: <BULLSHIT SERVED MOST FRESH AT A BROTHER, MEU.>
GAMZEE: <ain't none who are not knowing who would be getting themselves in such a state you be in now.>
GAMZEE: <DENY ALL THAT YOU GOT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING WILL ON.>
GAMZEE: <but that ain't gonna make anything else but that wicked numbness stick on you.>
MEULIN: -she's quiet still, and very slowly, she manages to drag her gaze to rest on him. she feels the bubbling, stinging heat in her eyes shifting like too-thick acid, a little stream of green rolling from the corner of one eye helplessly, and her nose wrinkles, one hand rising to press the heel of her hand into that eye, then the other for the other side. the breath she's exhaling feels so much heavier all of a sudden.-
GAMZEE: =While he had seen her watery eyes, he hadn't expected her to start crying from what he said at all. He looks genuinely surprised at first, then uncomfortable. He shifts on the bed, feeling the same vibe of not knowing whether or not he wants to escape or get closer.=
GAMZEE: =He winds up doing the latter, scooting closer to Meulin and carefully placing a hand on her shoulder. He can't sign like this, but maybe a slight rub of the shoulder with his thumb will do.=
MEULIN: -she isn't sure what to do. her heart feels too heavy -- first, everything that happened to bring her here, the loss of her hearing and her matesprit and the trauma of mind control, and now... everything she believed she had left. everything gone so quickly. why? she feels frozen up, unable to quite respond to his touch except to hiccup and cry more, to eventually turn over onto her side toward him because the tears felt threatening to choke her. there's something about him that feels comforting, though. familiar, in a strange way, and yet so completely different. some kind of difference that feels important, somehow, in the back of her mind.-
MEULIN: -it takes some time for that constricting feeling in her throat to wane a little, for the tension in her shoulders and the ache in her chest to stop crushing her so tightly, and she tries to catch her breath, feeling completely horrible but maybe just a little less painful. at least, aside from that fear in the back of her mind of having made him be a part of this.-
MEULIN: I'M-- M-- SSORRY.
GAMZEE: =He really doesn't know how to react to all of this. To have someone start crying in this kind of way. Rufioh had cried when he'd talked to him before, but those didn't all seem to be sad tears. These were hopeless ones, and it was frightening. His eyes flit off towards the door for a split second, but she's there and she needs the very same thing he had when he was still in her shoes.=
GAMZEE: =He reaches for her, hands pulling back just a little before taking a hold of her. He hoists her into his arms, hugging her to him. Hugs make things better. Things doesn't feel as hopeless then.=
MEULIN: -she feels him touching her, feels herself shifting, and it's more surprise that clenches around something in her chest than any desire to pull away. because, as she is realizing now that she is here in a solid embrace, she doesn't want to. being here now makes her realize quite suddenly how much she wanted it, how much she had been missing it -- just one moment, one space where it feels okay not to feel okay, where it's safe. where she's still wanted. and it aches that it makes her cry just that much more, even harder as her nails curl into one of his sleeves and squeezes it in a fabric-wrinkling grip, but once the sobs begin to subside, she's realizing how strange, how much lighter she feels this time.-
MEULIN: -the biggest downside is that she feels very gross and snotty, but she doesn't want to move, her breath evening out as she keeps leaning against him with very little desire to pull away. she swallows a few times, and then softly tries to clear her throat. but she doesn't know what to say. she doesn't know how to express everything she feels -- not about her sadness, but about what he's given her. there isn't any sort of voice for that kind of gratitude.-
MEULIN: -so, instead, she snuggles closer.-
GAMZEE: =Even if his hands had been free he wouldn't know what to tell her. So perhaps it was for the best that they weren't at all. Her nails dig into his sleeve, and that only makes him bring her closer. Cross legged on the bed, he tucks her away under his chin and wrapped in his arms. He's decided that the tears were no fault of his, and that it must have been all that's happened. Poor sis.=
GAMZEE: =He rubs her back carefully as she comes closer, and his own unease settles down somewhat. Maybe hugs just were the answer to this kind of thing every single time. Who knew?=
GAMZEE: =She might not be able to hear it, but Gamzee is one to follow his feelings. And now the thing that felt to be done was to speak comforts.= TO LET YOUR GRIEVEANCES SPILL FROM YOURSES PUSHER BE ONE MOTHER FUCKING BAD TRIP.
GAMZEE: still so them bad times will be feeling less so once it done.
GAMZEE: SO LET THAT SHIT GO FROM YOU SISTER MINE.
GAMZEE: if some trash mofo can be getting his eyes on the clear, then so you can.
MEULIN: -she can't hear him at all, but she is tucked close enough to feel the soft vibrations in his throat, and it's soothing enough in itself. She lets him speak and she relishes the moment, happier warmth growing under her skin from his hand moving over her back, and eventually she stops clinging to his shirt to get her arms around him, too. And eventually still, she finds her voice again, soft, but not shaky.-
MEULIN: I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE... EVERYTHING IS OVER.
GAMZEE: =He figures the arms coming around him is a good sign, and so he keeps rubbing her back. He never was certain if she couldn't hear anything at all or if she were hard of hearing, but she speaks, and what feels right when people speak is to answer.=
GAMZEE: OUR EXISTENCE BE A THING MOST FICKLE.
GAMZEE: but even be so what one is gone don't mean the rest is.
MEULIN: -as soothing as the vibrations are, a continued feeling of disconnection in any area is only making her feel lonely again, and more than anything right now, she doesn't want that. So eventually she forces herself to pull back enough to look up at him with wide eyes raw with green, face patchy with it, too. It reminds her, even without him having to say anything yet, that he is here, and that feeling alone makes it easier to cope.-
GAMZEE: =With Meulin moving he figures the hug is about to be over with, though his grip only loosens rather than letting go completely. He looks back down at her, brows creased with sympathy.=
GAMZEE: =He tries a smile, wiping at her puffy eyes to remove what teary remains that might be left. Now that she's looking at him he can sign at her.= <DON'T NOW BE GETTING SOME VIBES HARSH ON AND FROM LETTING THEM FEELS GO.>
GAMZEE: <makes a sister stronger, when such coming to pass.>
MEULIN: -stronger? She isn't sure she feels stronger yet, but she does feel lighter. Like she can breathe without having to force down what's choking her, without the tension in her shoulders. Who knew one simple thing could help so much? It seemed like she had forgotten what it was like to feel this way at all. Maybe that was why she knew she had to say it.-
MEULIN: ... THANK YOU.
GAMZEE: =The careful smile turns wide, though his eyes are confused. He's not yet used to people thanking him for... Well, anything really. He shrugs, feeling warm under the facepaint.= <AIN'T NOTHING TO BE ALL UP AND GETTING YOUR MOTHERFUCKING THANK ON ABOUT.>
MEULIN: BUT I SHOULD. BECAUSE...
MEULIN: -she shakes her head, looking away again.- THIS IS REALLY. IMPORTANT TO ME.
GAMZEE: <then thank a brother by having yourself get a touch on alla them vibes you might be finding yourself in.>
GAMZEE: <NONE REFUSAL NOR DENIAL OF THOSE HAPPENINGS TO KEEP YOURSELF MOST DULLED.>
GAMZEE: <be you not able to get a grasp on the wicked, then nor will that mirth find you fully.>
MEULIN: -she blinks a few times at this, trying to consider. Getting in touch with it? But how could she do that? And with who? He's the only obvious answer. But maybe that would be okay, with what he's done so far. Maybe...-
MEULIN: ... OKAY. -she nods, just a little.- I CAN TRY. -then, just the smallest smile, a little wave of her tail that curls over into her lap.-
GAMZEE: =Smiles at her and wraps his arms back around her, giving her a comforting squeeze. She'll pull through this.=
MEULIN: -eventually, after a little more purring and a little more snuggling, she will head to the bathroom, tissue herself, and then subject him to HER FAVORITE ANIME. On a legitimately happier note, this time.-
