some excerpts from heather havrilesky/ask polly's books and columns that snap me out of uselessly longing and obsessing over romantic love:
'let's try this: if i told you that you would never, ever fall in love again, what kind of plan would you make to ensure your own happiness moving forward? what would you work toward? what would you do more of?'
'you need to begin by painting a picture that doesn't include love. you need to stop making room in your life for someone else's love and start making room for yourself instead. [...] when you can imagine a beautiful life even in the absence of romantic love, finding love or losing it again won't seem nearly as scary.'
'you must break this fixation on love as the cure all to all of your ills. if you found love right now, you would run it straight to the ground in seconds. you need an outward focus that has nothing to do with guys.'
'it's time to forget about being lovable. and in fact, it's time to forsake someone else's idea of what gives you a spark or no spark. block the "other" from this picture. no more audience.'
'the central challenge in your life is not finding people who will support you and love you. the central challenge in your life is you finding a way to give yourself support and love. you need to shift your concentration away from this imaginary hole in your life, and shift it towards bigger projects that will feed and sustain you over the course of a lifetime.'
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