hi everyone who still follows me,
today was my 25th birthday and the 12th anniversary of this blog!
i haven’t made a text post in almost a decade. but have wanted to for a few years so….. hi !
i still have mutuals from like the very first year of this blog which makes me so happy even though i’ve directly talked to like two of you ever. it’s genuinely been a blast just existing alongside you through it all.
huge bummer alert, my dad died just a few weeks ago. i knew it was coming but it’s horrible and sucks a lot. sorry to just drop that out of nowhere, but i’ve barely told anyone i’m not related to, for a lot of the same reasons that’ve caused me to not even make a text post on here for so long. and i want to break away from that.
around 2016 i really crashed and burned mentally, for many many reasons. and i’ve just grown more afraid and depressed and nonfunctional since then, i barely graduated high school, i dropped out of college. there have been good moments but overall i stopped expressing myself entirely, including making posts on here. i’ve tried to snap out of this fugue many times, and some of them have gone well, i’ve made friends and accomplished things but on the whole i’ve become so afraid and avoidant of doing anything or opening up or expressing myself in any way at all and i’m tired of it.
idk, i make this post just to say hi, i exist, i don’t expect or even want anyone to remember the past 12 years on this blog, but i’m still me. i’m the same person who made this blog on my 13th birthday, who proudly blogged about my favorite characters and cringy interests and actually shared my art and thoughts and feelings. and i miss being that person.
but, if anything was the last bastion of my self-expression it was my reblogs and the little comments i’ve been making in the tags over the years. tumblr has been such a comfort and a constant that i’ve stuck with since i started, and i will still be here as long as i possibly can.
i hope you enjoy the puppydogs and other things i reblog. sorry this is so long i’m incapable of brevity. i do actually still try to post art and non-vague things about my ocs on my fandom sideblog. i love you if you read all this and also still if you didn’t or if no one sees this okay here’s to 12 more years i love you tumblr friends























